Kiss the Girl (61 page)

“And yet we’re here today because you and your mother have co-authored a bill that would provide funding to expand neighborhood clinics like this one.  After so many years of refusing to let your mother get involved with your professional life, why the sudden change of heart?”

“Change of heart.  Funny you should use that phrase.” 
Erik paused
.
“I did have a change of heart
. 
And I owe somebody an explanation for that
.”  He swiveled in the chair, shaded his eyes
with the flat of his hand and squinted toward the receptionist’s pen.  “
Nixie?  Will you come out here please?”

“
What?”  Her eyes flew to Sloan’s, wide and panicked.  “You dragged me out of my apartment to get humiliated on live TV
again
?”

“Now Nixie
--”

“
Oh no
. 
I am
so
not going out there.”  She
yanked her hands free of the women on either side of her and headed for the
rear hallway. 
Mary Jane and Sloan were fast on those short little legs, though, and tougher than they looked.  T
he next thing Nixie knew, she was standing in the
blinding gla
re of the spotlight
.
 

“Nixie,” Erik rose to stand in front of her.
 
“
I have something to say to you.”

“And you feel like you should say it in front of a TV audience?”

“I hurt you in front of all those people, it only seems fair that I should
fix it in front of them, too.”

“
Of course
,” she muttered.  “
God forbid
any small humiliation in my life should play out behind closed doors
.” 

“
That’s just it.
That’s what this is all about.  I’
m done pushing the women I love away becau
se they have the guts to live bigger lives
than I do.  I’m done closing doors. 
I’m finally ready to open them up
.
”
 

She stared at him, her
stupid, hopeful heart jammed in her throat
.
  “What does that mean?”

“It means I’ve
finally pulled my head out of my ass and
asked
my mom
for her help keeping the clinic open.  It means I
, of my own free will,
called up Missy Jensen
--a card carrying member of the press corps, as you know--
and asked her for this interview.”  He hesitated, then pushed ahead
.
 
“
It means
I
love you
, Nixie
and I’m ready to do whatever it takes to be with you
.”

“You
love me.” 
Her head felt like a kaleidoscope,
with
shattered bits of pain and joy and doubt twirling around in a pretty but incomprehensible pattern. 
“Since when?”

He lifted his shoulders in a rueful shrug.  “Probably since your dive into that trash heap in Mattie Getz-
Strunk’s
front yard.”  He frowned.  “Maybe sooner.  But for sure by the time Daryl Johnson offered you a hit off the Bounce blower.”

“I see.” 
The kaleidoscope went a few degrees brighter as a big chunk of hope dropped into the mix tumbling around in her head
.  “Definitely before you proposed to Mary Jane, then
.”

He had the grace to look chagrined.  “That was actually
why
I proposed to Mary Jane.”

She
frowned
.
  “Okay, now you’ve lost me.
”

Wry humor mixed with the naked vulnerability in his eyes and Nixie’s heart hammered.  “I was afraid, Nixie. 
I was afraid of what loving you would cost me.  I was afraid of always being second in your heart when there’s no room left in mine for anything but you
. 
The whole world loves you.  How could I compete?” 

“Oh, sure.”  Nixie nodded sagely.  “Because love is definitely a competition.”

He smiled at
her.  “And I’m a bad loser.” 
His gaze softened and he rocked forward as if to take a step toward her but caught himself at the last second.  “Marrying Mary Jane seemed like the ideal solution.  We love each other in exactly the same way to exactly the same degree.  We’d have a nice comfortable life together.  A win-win solution, I thought.  Except
--”

He broke off and looked at her very directly. 
Another chunk of hope and a big scoop of joy joined the wild tumble in her heart but she forced a cool tone
.
  “Except?”

“Except then I’m a coward. 
Because it was never about your fame, or the press, or your travel schedule, Nixie. 
I rejected you
because I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“That you’d
make a fool of me.”

The cool fell away and Nixie gasped.  “I would
never
--
”

He cut her off.  “That I’d love you too much
.
 
More than you’d
love me, and the whole world wou
l
d
sneer at me for not leaving.  Exactly the way I sneered at my father for not leaving my mother.”

She stared at him, r
iveted by the sight of this incredibly private man
confess so baldly to vulnerability
.  And not quietly, either.  No,
he’d gone for the grand gesture, confessing
in front of her, their parents, their friends and anybody else who happened to be watching Channel Four.
 
  

“But I’m no coward, Nixie,” he said.  “
I love you, and I will for the rest of my life if you’ll let me.”  He clenched his hands in his pockets.  “If it’s not too late.”

Nixie
forgot about the camera.  She forgot about Missy Jensen, forgot about their audience of thousands
.
  Joy and love
booted doubt right out of the kaleidoscope and
projected
a riot of light and color and hope and love onto her mended heart
.  A smile bloomed on her face, and he held out a hand to her in silent question.  She ignored the hand, and with a little cry, threw herself into his arms.  When he caught her they were both laughing.

The Senator cleared her throat
and turned to Missy Jensen
.
  “So.
  Maybe now is a good time to bring out Mary Jane
Riley
, Erik’s partner in the clinic, and
Tyrese
Jones, our neighborhood
liaison
.  He owns the building
and has some interesting plans for expanding the clinic to include a
day care
and a community center
.”

Missy
and her camera
turned dutifully to the Senator while Nixie s
howered
Erik’s
face and neck with dozens of tiny kisses, strung together with a lot of
I love
you
s
, a few
you jerk
s and a half-dozen
how could you be so
stupid
s
.

He laughed.  “I love the way you talk while you kiss.”

She drew back, a little embarrassed.  “I do that?”

“All the time.” 

“Should I apologize?”

“I’ll let you know when I’m bored.”

She punched his arm.  “Jerk.”

He laughed and kissed her full on the mouth.  “You’re the only woman I’ve ever met
I want to talk to as much as I want to kiss
, Nixie.  I’d marry you for that alone.  The rest is a bonus.”

She went still.  “
Was that a marriage proposal?
”

His eyes stayed on hers, very blue, very direct.  “
I’m naked here, Nixie.  Yours to take or leave.
”

She smiled.  “I’ll take it.”

EPILOGUE

The bride wore white.  A
strapless
, hand-beaded Monique
Lhuillier
of ivory silk, to be exact, sewn onto her body mere minutes before she walked down the aisle
.  With white satin peep-toe pumps on her feet, a matching white ribbon in her hair, and an armload of pure white roses, she was
demure innocence itself.
 
 

Except for her hair.  Her hair glowed in the candle light like wildfire, and a
ribbon of the same
deep copper
encircled her waist and flowed down the back of her gown like
a sunset on the
water. 
The look she shared with her
groom
danced with laughter
and
passion
as the music swelled
, carrying her up the aisle
to his side. 

He held his hand
out for her as she approached
and she took it without hesitation.  She
plaited her fingers
into his and promised without doubt or reservation to be a true and faithful partner until death did them part.
  To love him with all the strength and courage she could muster.  To honor him and cherish him and be thankful for
the undeserved gift of his love
, now and always. 

And when he kissed her, the entire world shattered into a cacophony of cheers, applause and popping flashbulbs.  It was better, Sloan thought wonderingly, than
winning an Oscar
.
  Though she had the same man to thank for both.

She
gazed
at the man whose hand she held, her new husband.  The first man since Archer who’d looked at her and seen more than sex appeal
,
who’d seen
something deep and true and vulnerable
.  The man who’d asked her to play a grandmother, had directed her
to an Oscar in the role, then gi
ve
n
her
ready made
grandchildren when he married her.