Kiss the Girl (39 page)

He closed his eyes and
pushed a thumb against his eye brow
.  Mary Jane was going to laugh her ass off.  Not the best way to start off a
lifelong partnership
.  “I’m going to kill my mother.” 

Nixie laughed. 
“
Oh, come on
.  Where’s your sense of humor?”

“My personal life isn’t a laughing matter.”

“Of course it is.  Everything is a laughing matter.  You stop laughin
g at life, you stop living it. 
People
like
your mom.  They’re interested in her life, and you’re a big part of that. 
So what? 
You’ll go nuts trying to
stomp on every little gossip columnist who mentions your name
, and if you’ll forgive my saying so, you don’t have a lot of leeway in that arena
.
”

“
You think I’m nuts
?” 

“
Maybe
a little tightly wrapped
.”  He frowned at her, but she went on without pause.  “
Take it from me, okay?  One child of fame to another? 
If you can’t control it
--
and you can’t
--
you have to
have fun with it
.”

He lifted one brow, folded his arms and leaned against a corner of the stove.  “How exactly do you propose having fun with newspapers turning my social life into fan fiction?”

“
First of all, you can’t deny it.  They love that.”  She pursed up that gorgeous apricot mouth of hers and gazed at him speculatively.  “You want to make out?”

All the blood rushed out of Erik’s head and into his lap.  “Excuse me?” 

Her eyes laughed at him.  “I don’t mean right now
, champ
.  I mean in public.  For the
cameras
.”

He swallowed, hoping it would open his throat enough to speak.  He couldn’t quite tear his eyes away from the wicked curve of her lips.  “I’m not sure how that’s going to keep me out of the papers, Nixie.”

“Oh, it’s not.  But you’re there already, aren’t you?  You’re in for an arc of publicity now, and the only thing you can do is control the curve.”  She
put a hand on the stove between their bodies and
slid forward until he smelled lemons.
  He blinked, and tried to focus.
  “I say we hit
the town
.  M
ake out in all the clubs, dance
til
four a.m. 
We
coul
d have a big, drunken fight on the sidewalk, I’d throw your ring at you, and that would be that.  A few more weeks of he said/she said in the press and you can give that ring to the heiress of your choice.”

Erik thought of the ring in his pocket, a pang of regret catching him by surprise.  What kind of self-destructive streak had him half-ready to drop to one knee in front of Nixie? Hadn’t he learned anything from his parents’ disastrous marriage?

He forced a smile and said,
“What?  No couples rehab?”

She thought about that, then shook her head. 
“Not if you’re looking for a short arc.  You develop a taste for publicity, we could maybe go that route.”

“
Thanks for the offer, but n
o,” he said. 
“I’d had enough publicity to last a lifetime before I turned ten.  The last thing I want is to go clubbing with Nixie Leighton-Brace.”

She
shrugged and eased back, folding her arms over her chest again.  “Your call.”  But there was something small and hurt in her eyes
, and guilt tugged at him with relentless little hands. 
Why did being true to himself have to mean hurting her?

“Nixie, come on.”  He reached for her, but she shrugged away from his touch. 

“No, really.  It’s fine.  I just...I guess I thought we were past that.”

“Past what?”

“The Nixie Leighton-Brace thing.
  I thought we were friends.
”

“
We are.”  He bumped his fist lightly against her shoulder.  So what if his entire body was screaming for him to pull her into his arms and kiss her until
the hurt in her
eyes went
up in flames?
  He was sticking with the fist bump. 
It was neutral.  Friendly.  Better for everybody. 
“But that doesn’t mean you’re not still Nixie Leighton-Brace.”

She made a disgusted noise, and
Erik soldiered on. 
“Seriously.  It’s who you are. 
It’s not like you can just walk away from the job and
poof
you’re not insanely famous
.”

After a long moment of silence, she said,
“
Can I ask you a question
?”

“
Sure.
”

“
Why did you kiss me?  Was it all about the clinic?”

“
What
?”  He stared at her in horrified disbelief, but there was nothing in her face but calm curiosity and a certain distance he didn’t like one bit. 

“It’s a fair question,” she said.  “You claim to hate fame, but
as you so adroitly pointed out
, I
am
famous
.  You must hate me by extension, so why would a guy like you kiss a girl like me
?”

“Besides the usual reasons?”

“All I can figure is
you were after something worth more to you than your scruples.”

“Something like funding for the clinic?”  Fury pulsed in his head like a jackhammer.
 
“You honestly think I’d
k
iss you
--
hell, kiss anyone
--
for the
money
?” 

“
You wouldn’t be the first
,” she said, her voice cool and detached. 
Her face was a perfect oval
,
devoid of anything but
a clinical
curiosity. 
Anger
still
bubbled hotly
in his veins
, but a little riptide of pain swirled under it
.
 
He hardly recognized her. 
Who was this contained, condemning stranger who’d hijacked his laughing, easy Nixie?
  Okay, so
maybe
he couldn’t have all of her, but did that mean he couldn’t have any of her?
  Was she going to punish him with this absolute absence?
 

“
I never lied to you.
”
  He shoved his fists into his elbows and glared at her.  “
I told you the clinic needed money, and I told you I wasn’t
in the market for a girl like you
.  And now you’re acting all wounded because I’m
not
in love with you?  What the hell, Nixie?  What did I do to deserve
that
?”   

“
Y
ou
kissed
me!
”
  Her reserve suddenly snapped, and the Nixie he knew
came pouring through
the cracks
.  Her eyes were blazingly green as she glared at him with a fury that
leapt and danced like his own. 
“You kissed me like you couldn’t help it.
 
Like you shouldn’t
but
couldn’t stop yourself.  And me, being an
idiot
,
I
let myself believe you.  I actually believed you felt what I did.”

“Yeah?” 
His anger
took an abrupt left turn into
an
e
ntirely less appropriate
neighborhood
.  P
robably
a
dangerous
neighborhood
. 
He took a step closer anyway.
  “What
did
you feel?
”

“Don’t make me hit you
.”

He reached for her anyway. 
“Nixie
.” 

“Don’t you Nixie me.”  She spun away from the stove and marched to the dish strainer where she started banging clean silverware into drawers.  “I want
the truth
, damn it.  Has it all been for the clinic?”

“
Has
what all been for the clinic?
”
  He wanted to hear her say it.  Was desperately curious, in fact, to hear her describe the bizarre way his libido
short-circuited
his common sense whenever he was within three feet of her.

She
threw him a scorching look over her shoulder.  “
This
,” she said through her teeth, waving a fork between them.  “This
thing
that happens whenever you touch me.”

He smiled.  He couldn’t help it.  This was turning into a very interesting conversation.  “What happens when I touch you, Nixie?” he asked. 

She pressed her lips together and snatched up a colander and
a dish towel.  “You know what happens.”

He moved closer to her, close enough to smell lemons
again
.
  He was starting to like lemons.  A lot.
 

“
When I kiss you, you mean?
” he said. 

She kept her eyes firmly on the colander she was
scrubbing to death. 

“You melt in my mouth like
chocolate
, Nixie.  S
weet and hot and rich.  It makes me want to lick and taste and savor, to make you last and last.  But at the same time I’m so damn greedy for you that I’m two steps from
uncivilized
behavior
every time I smell
your shampoo.
  I don’t like it, but there it is.
”