Kiss the Girl (34 page)

“Obesity is as much a consequence of poverty in America as asthma is, Dr.
Dettreich
,” Mary Jane said. 

“I recognize that,” Karl said, his eyes on Nixie.  “But poverty in
the Middle East
kills children.  Poverty in America makes them unhealthy.  Not ideal, I understand.  But it’s not as urgent a situation.  A woman of Nixie’s means has to consider her responsibilities on a global scale.  She can’t just follow her heart
, she has to prioritize. 
You’re medical professionals; s
urely you understand?”

“
I’m not saying y
ou should ignore
Bumani
,” Nixie said.  “
You’ve got Sloan
. 
All you need now is a
straight man
, because I’m not doing it anymore.”  A light
ness rose up in her, fragile but gloriously buoyant.
 
“I quit, Karl.  I quit almost two months ago now.  I promised you I’d find something worthwhile to do with myself, and I have.  Now it’s time for you to hold up your end of the bargain.  Take Sloan and go save the world.  I’m staying right here.  At home.”

CHAPTER EIGH
TEEN

“
This isn’t your home, Nixie, and Sloan’s not you
,” Karl said
. 
“
She’s beautiful and she’s well-intentioned, but she’s also brittle, shallow and self-destructive.  People tune in to watch her implode.  They tune in to watch you endure it all with grace and serenity.
  They see something special in you
.”

“
There’s nothing special in me
,” Nixie said
quickly
.

“Except
for
, what, your face, your figure and your trust fund?” Mary Jane asked.

“Nixie’s more than her face,” Karl said. 

“Please, don’t start with this,” Nixie said, putting her fingers to her forehead. 

“With what
?”  Erik asked.

“People identify with Nixie,” Karl told Erik and Mary Jane
.
  “
They all have crazy mothers,
rotten jobs, difficult r
elationships
.  But
Nixie
has all that crap in spades and look what she manages to accomplish anyway.  She’s
proof
that
good
works
in the world.
 
She gives people hope
.
”
 

Nixie grabbed Erik’s forearm.  “He’s not reasonable about this.  Don’t listen to him.”

“
But it’s more than that,” Karl went on.  “
In this business, you get a lot of people with the face and the money to do some good.  Sometimes they even have an educati
on.  But Nixie? 
Nixie
connects
.  You give her a one on one with anybody from a sultan
on
down to a goat
herd
er
, and within five minutes, they’re dying to build her
an
orphanage or write
her a personal check. 
Money rains out of the sky wherever she
lands.
But more importantly, people listen to her.  They follow her.  They
learn
from her.
  Nixie makes a difference.
”

Mary Jane stared at Karl in silence.  Erik glanced between him and Nixie, his golden brows drawn together in some unreadable line.  Nixie sighed. 

“So now you know,” she said
.  “The secret is out
--
I’m the Messiah.  The one
the Red Cross has
been praying for lo these many generations.”

“Don’t be flip, Nixie.  Six million Jews died in the Holocaust because the world didn’t know what was happening to them.  Because of you, the world knows what’s happening in Darfur
.  In Afghanistan
.  In
Kosovo
. 
De
liberately withholding
the same aid from
Bumani
because it’s
inconvenient
for you
is tantamount to abuse
and it’s beneath you
. 
Now
get your head out of the clouds and
get
back to work.
”

“
No
.”  The word
skidded
into the taut silence between her and Karl like a stone skipped on a frozen pond. 
“You want too much from me
, Karl
.  I can’t save the world. 
I tried
. 
God
knows I tried, but
I can’t.  W
hatever you think you see in me just isn’t there
.
”

“
You’re wrong
.”

“
I’
m not.  You want proof? 
How’s this?  I
like
hamburgers
.”

He sighed but
Nixie nodded furiously.  “That’s right, Karl.
  I like hamburgers and flush toilets and long showers and that bright yellow cheese
that
comes in a squirt can.  It’s awesome on potato chips
.  Yo
u can’t recycle those cans, either.
  What do you think of that, huh?
”

“
Come on
, Nixie.
 
Be serious.
”

“I am being serious
.  You’ve been feeding me this
chosen one
business my whole life and I tried for so long to make it true.
  To make you happy.
  But
I can’t do it anymore.
” 

Karl leaned back and gazed at her for a long moment.  Nixie swallowed and twisted her shaking fingers together, hoping to look strong and confident instead of terrified.  He said, “
So what
do
you want, Nixie
?
  If not
Bumani
, then what?
”

“
What everybody wants, I guess.”  Her voice came out pitifully small and Nixie cleared her throat.  “
A home of my own, a job I like.  Frien
ds.
 
Not the kind
that come and go
with
the cause of the day
, either
.
  Real friends.
”  She glanced at Mary Jane, who gave her an encouraging
smile.  She studiously avoided
looking at Erik when she said, “
Maybe even a
family of my own
s
omeday.
”
  She shrugged casually.  “I like kids.”

“Kids.”  Karl snorted and glared at Erik.  “With him, I presume?”

“
If I feel like it
.  So what
if I do
?” 
Erik jolte
d in the seat beside her
and Nixie glanced over at him.  Great.  The very suggestion of having kids with her had the
fearless
Viking doctor all vacant-eyed and startled.
  She patted his elbow.  “Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

“Of course,” he murmured. 

Nixie turned back to Karl.  “It’s none of your business, Karl.
 
That’s the point
I’m trying to make here.  If I want to throw myself at Erik’s feet and beg him to bang me six ways from Sunday, it’s nobody’s business but mine.
  Why is it such a crime to want a nice, normal personal life?
”

“I’m not sure that qualifies as normal,” Ma
ry Jane said, looking doubtfully at Erik.

“Hey, women beg me to bang them all the time,” he
told her
.  “
All
the time.”

“Oh.”  Mary Jane nodded.  “Of course.”

Karl slapped his palm on the table and Nixie jumped. 
“
For Christ’s sake,” he snapped.  “You don’t have a normal life because you’re
not normal
. 
When
God
was handing out gifts, y
ou got the money, the face and the fame instead.  You also got the responsibilities that go with them, so let’s not waste any more time
on
this
fairy tale bullshit
, okay?  It’s time to get back to work.”

Nixie glanced at Mary Jane and Erik.  Erik watched her,
his face stoic and grave. 
Mary Jane bit her lip and avoided Nixie’s gaze, as if to say
you know,
the guy
makes a good
point
.  Nixie’s chest
filled with
searing frustration
and hurt
disappointment.  Why couldn’t she make anybody understand?
  She wasn’t asking for anything special.  Just what everybody else seemed to have automatically.  Why was it so hard for her?

“
I can’t do it anymore
,” she said to Karl, her voice low and distinct.  “
Maybe it’s not what you want for me, but I’m building something here.  Something I believe in, and won’t walk away from.  I’m not
going
to
Bumani
with you.
  I quit.
”  

She moved to stand up
but Karl grabbed her wrist, pinned it to the table.  “
Don’t do
this, Nixie
. You’ll be sorry
.”