King 03 - Restless (25 page)

Rafe took my hand again and pulled me away. When I glanced back over my shoulder, Sam Lawrence was kneeling by the tree, but I had the sense that he was a million miles away.

Hey, Tas. I was dreaming last night of that day in the clearing. I was never so scared in my life. Even now, with you so far away and with all your doubts about us, as long as you’re okay, I can hang in there. I’ll be here for you, forever. I love you. Call me.

I convinced Rafe that I was okay to follow him over to the hospital in my own car. The idea of having to return to the school to pick it up later didn’t appeal to me at all. I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to walk past the courtyard again without seeing Amber lying beneath that tree.

When we walked into the waiting area of the emergency room, Mrs. Cole jumped up and hugged me close. 

“Oh, Tasmyn, I’m so glad you’re here!” I tried to smile reassuringly at Amber’s mother. She led me over to a seat next to a tired looking man I recognized as Amber’s dad.  Rafe trailed behind us.

“How’s Amber?” I asked.

Mrs. Cole began to cry, and my fear ratcheted up a few notches. And then I heard her thinking,
My poor baby, thank heavens she’s going to be okay. She’s been through so much…

“She’s going to be fine.” It was Mr. Cole who answered. “A pretty nasty concussion, contusion to the back of the head, bruised up badly, but it could have been much worse.”

I swallowed hard as tears of relief welled in my eyes. “I’m so happy to hear that,” I said. “Did… is she awake? Do you know what happened?” My heart began to pound as I considered all the things that Amber might have to say.

“We saw her briefly, and yes, she was awake,” Mrs. Cole told me. “But we didn’t press her about what happened. She was in some pain, and they were working on getting her settled.” She wiped her eyes and turned to face me. “What did happen? Do you know?”

I hesitated. Without knowing what Amber was going to say, it was hard for me to tell her parents anything. I decided it was safest to stick with the same story I’d told the police. 

Mrs. Cole frowned as I finished. “Tasmyn, you don’t think it was any of those awful girls who gave Amber such a bad time last year, do you? I know Nell Massler is put away, but could it have been her friends? They were just terrible to Amber.”

I shook my head. Tempting though it might have been to place the blame on Casey, Liza or Julie, it wasn’t right. They had all carefully avoided any involvement with Amber or with me since Nell had been… removed from the situation.

Rafe stood abruptly. “Tas, I’m going to grab a drink. Can I get anyone anything?” Both of the Coles shook their heads. I watched Rafe turn down a hallway, and a disturbing suspicion took root. 

Jumping up, I excused myself to the Coles, telling them I needed to check in with my parents. I followed the same hallway Rafe had taken and catching up with him, grabbed his arm.

“Don’t do it, Rafe,” I said in a low voice. 

He looked down at me, expressionless. He wasn’t even going to bother to deny it, I realized. 

“Please,” I breathed. “I know you’re trying to protect me. I know you think it’s the perfect answer. But—you can’t. It’s not fair to Amber, and I deserve whatever she decides to say or do.”

“No, you don’t.” The steel was back in Rafe’s voice. “It’s
her
. She’s the one responsible for Amber being in the hospital. She set you up for this. You know it’s true.” 

He wheeled around and pulled me into a darker alcove. “Don’t let her get away with this, Tasmyn. I’m trying really hard not to say I told you so—but let this prove to you that the witch has been using you all along. Break it off. Don’t see her again. And let me take care of Amber.”

“I—no. Not Amber. Let me take the consequences, Rafe. I deserve them. You’re right. I’ve known for a while that Marica wasn’t good for me. I couldn’t stop. It’s like I’m addicted to her, to what she’s teaching me. It made me feel… special, powerful. But I knew, deep down, that it was wrong. And so I need to go through whatever Amber says or decides. She’s been nothing but a wonderful friend, and this is how I repay her.” The tears were there again, and Rafe caught them with his thumbs.

He smoothed my hair back, ran his fingers over my neck and then finally pulled me close to him. I felt tenderness in place of the usual passion and urgency. When he leaned back, there was resignation in his eyes.

“I fall into that category, too, don’t I?” he said quietly. “Not good for you. Something you’re addicted to.” He moved his hands up to frame my face and leaned very close to me. “But I could be, Tas. Really. I could be so good for you. Get away from Marica, and we’ll work together. You can develop your powers with me. I can try to help you control them, or Gram could—”

I began to shake my head. Rafe cursed low, under his breath, and then he pulled my lips to his. This was a kiss of utter desperation. He moved a step forward so that my back was against the wall, and I was pinned beneath him. With my head between his hands and his mouth open over mine, I couldn’t move and could barely breathe. 

I squirmed, trying to break free. Rafe only kissed me more aggressively and dropped his hands to hold my sides. He molded his fingers against my ribs and then slid them to my back, and up under my shirt.

Panicked now, I struggled to get loose at the same time that I worked desperately to keep my mental powers under control. Every bit of me was yearning to push him away the same way I had Amber—

“Rafe!” I finally got my mouth free. “Stop. You don’t want to tick me off, not now.” I spoke through a clenched jaw as I panted, focusing on calm. 

Rafe stood back, but only slightly. He dropped his head into his hands, leaning back against the wall. I couldn’t hear his thoughts—he was blocking me—but I could feel his anguish, the pain and the longing. The love.

And as we stood there, it struck me all over again, with new clarity, how unfair I’d been to Rafe. I had been spending time with him, kissing him, allowing him to kiss and hold me, because I could feel the strength of his emotions, and I didn’t want him to be hurt. I had done to him what I knew I couldn’t bear if Michael had done to me: I was with him out of a misguided sense of obligation. I had used him to comfort me after the pain of my break up with Michael, and I had allowed him to think that there was more between us than there ever could be. Even my attempts to be honest and clear with him had been half-hearted. I felt utterly ashamed but also astonishingly free.

I stepped closer to Rafe and touched his arm. He didn’t move.

“Rafe, I owe you a huge apology. I took your friendship, and the feelings you have for me, and I let you think I felt more for you than I ever could. 

“I do love you, Rafe. You’ve been an amazing friend to me. I hope I don’t have to lose that. But I can’t go on the way we’ve been. I can’t let you think that we’ll ever be more than friends.”

He raised his eyes at last, and I blanched at the bleak acceptance there. He nodded. 

“Go back with the Coles, okay? I need a minute.”

I hesitated, torn between giving him space and worrying that he might still try to manipulate Amber’s mind to keep me safe. But finally I turned and walked back down the hallway.

A few minutes after I joined them, a nurse came out to tell the Coles they could see Amber. I sat alone in the hard molded plastic chair, trying to ignore the shock talk show host on the nearby television and wondering what Amber was saying to her parents… what she would say to the police.

I didn’t have to wait too long. About ten minutes later, Mrs. Cole touched my shoulder.

“Tasmyn… Amber wants to see you.”

Hey, Tas. I get through each day by knowing that somehow, it’s bringing me another day closer to being with you again. That’s what I’m holding onto. I know you must be struggling with stuff, but please, don’t forget that I love you. Call me.

I had been in this hospital once, about a year and a half before. I didn’t remember being in the emergency room; I had had a concussion and was unconscious when the paramedics brought me in. I only recalled waking up in my private room upstairs. But Michael had told me how Amber and our friend Cara had sat in the waiting room, worrying over me.

Ironic, I thought as I trailed behind Mrs. Cole, that the positions were reversed now. Amber was in one of these cubicles with a concussion. And now I was the one anxiously worrying about her.

I tried to listen to her mother’s mind, tried to figure out what Amber had told them. But Mrs. Cole’s thoughts were jumbled and hard to follow. She didn’t seem hostile toward me, which I guessed was a positive sign.

She turned into a room, and I followed her hesitantly. A curtain shielded the bed from the open door, and Mrs. Cole stepped back and motioned me within.

“Look, Amber! Here’s Tas. She’s been waiting with us and is just as worried about you… come here, Tasmyn, don’t worry. Come right over.”

Amber lay on the bed, still looking nearly as white as the sheets. Her hair was spread around her, and I saw that they had her in one of the dreaded hospital gowns. 

She blinked at me, wincing as her eyes moved. I remembered that pain. 

“Amber tells us she doesn’t remember anything about what happened, Tas.”

I looked at Amber in surprise and concern. If she didn’t remember anything, was that because of the concussion or was it Rafe’s meddling?

“No.” Amber’s voice was surprisingly strong. “I know I was talking to you, Tasmyn. And you said you had a lot of homework. And then the next thing I knew, I was here, in the hospital.”

Mrs. Cole shook her head, clucking. “Well, don’t worry about it now. The doctor said that kind of thing is normal after a hit on the head like you took. You girls visit. Daddy and I have to fill out some forms, sweetie, and then we’ll be right back in. Tasmyn, you’ll stay with her until we come back?”

I nodded, and the elder Coles left the room. I approached the bed cautiously, guiltily listening to Amber’s thoughts, trying to pick up any trace of Rafe’s work.

Amber lifted a hand and touched my arm. “Are you okay?” she asked.