King 03 - Restless (15 page)

“Well, there’s the answer. We need to find her a boyfriend.” Rafe flipped his hands over, as if it we’d just reached the most obvious solution.

The thought of Marica with a man—any man—struck me as so ludicrous that I laughed, and then I couldn’t stop. I fell back against the locker, giggling out of control.

Rafe watched me with a smile on his face. “You know,” he mused, touching my face lightly, “I think that’s the first time I’ve really seen you laugh since… well, since. It’s good to hear.” 

I pushed away from the wall and sighed. “Thanks. I think I’m still tired from my long day yesterday. I’m going to head home and grab a nap.”

“Okay. Oh, by the way, Gram wanted me to tell you that if you’d like to come over one afternoon, she’d be happy to talk with you about the history of King. She felt bad that Gramps was kind of evasive. He can be pretty tight mouthed about the whole thing, but Gram doesn’t mind.”

“I would really love that,” I told Rafe. “Please tell her I said thanks.” I smiled up at him. “Want to walk me to my car?”

“Did Amber seem a little funny to you today?” Rafe asked as we headed toward the parking lot.

I sighed. “Amber is still very worried about me. She… she’s a good friend, but things seem very clear to her, and she doesn’t understand why I don’t see them the same way. She doesn’t agree with a lot of the choices I’ve made.”

“And I would guess that includes me,” Rafe commented.

“She likes you, Rafe. Honestly, she thinks you’re a great guy. But you know, after everything we all went through—Amber and-and Michael and me, I think she never imagined we wouldn’t be together forever.” I stifled yet another sigh. I had thought the same thing, once upon a time.

We had reached my car, and I opened the door, tossing my backpack into the backseat. Rafe stood next to me while I fished around for my keys.

“Since we’re not technically in school anymore, can I kiss you good bye?” he asked. 

I glanced around. We had lingered in the hallway for quite a while, and the lot was nearly empty. 

I lifted my face to Rafe, and he pulled me toward him. His kiss was more aggressive than I had expected, and I leaned against the car to keep my balance. Rafe pressed even closer to me, breaking the kiss only to run his lips down my neck.

“Rafe,” I gasped, “A good bye kiss. Not a full make out session against my car. What’s the matter with you?” I gave him a small shove.

Rafe stepped back, still holding onto me. He brushed the hair out of my eyes, and I realized that he was looking beyond me, over my head. 

Filled with misgiving, I glanced over my shoulder.  Marica stood next to her car. She was simply regarding us steadily, and when my eyes met hers, she turned and climbed into her car without a word. 

As she drove out of the parking lot, I turned back to Rafe. “Why? Did you know she was there the whole time?”

He fastened his eyes on me, the blue steelier than ever. “I saw her leaving the school, but I wasn’t sure she was coming this way.” He took a deep breath and then added, “She needed to know, Tas. She has to understand that I’m not going anywhere.”

I shook my head unhappily. “You did that to prove a point, Rafe. How do think that makes me feel?” Without waiting for an answer, I climbed into the front seat, slammed the door and drove away. When I glanced in the rearview mirror, Rafe was still standing next to his car, watching me leave.

Hey, Tas. Want to talk irony? I went out for coffee with Cathryn Whitmore again tonight. Nothing big, just needed to get out. And I thought it would take my mind off you. But guess what? She wanted to talk about you all night, kept asking me questions. Don’t worry, you know I kept your secrets. Always have, always will. I love you, Tasmyn. Call me.

I paced around my room, cell phone in hand. I couldn’t decide what to do. Should I call Marica, try to explain? Or should I wait to talk to her in person? Fleetingly I considered driving to her house, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. 

The phone buzzed, and I glanced at its caller ID window. Rafe. I ignored it. The ringing stopped and then immediately began again. I hit the send button.

“Rafe, I don’t want to talk to you right now. Go away.”

“But Tas, wait. I just want to—“

I clicked end, effectively hanging up on him. I tossed the phone across the room, and it bounced on my bed.

I was lost. It felt as though my life were spiraling out of control, one strand unraveling at a time, and just when I thought I had a handle on something, it fell apart in my hands. I didn’t know what I was doing with Rafe. It made no sense, but I kept seeing him anyway. Marica was helping me stretch my powers, to take ownership of my abilities, but she wanted total control over me. When I was honest with myself, I knew that was true. She didn’t want me to have any distractions or entanglements. 

My relationship with my parents was at the lowest point I could ever remember. They were bewildered, and I was keeping so much from them that we could hardly hold a simple conversation. 

I felt like I was at the bottom of a well, with no way out. I had made choices that had cut me off from the people I most loved and trusted others who clearly were not worthy.

I stood at my dresser, gazing into the mirror at the stranger I saw. I didn’t look much different than I had a year ago; hair the same wavy brown length, same general weight and height, but my eyes… they were not the same. There was deep unhappiness there now. 

I was frustrated. On my dresser, the metal drawer pulls began to vibrate, and I focused my energy on them. Nothing breakable this time. I still had a small scar on my face from the shattering vase incident. Instead I concentrated on the drawers, using my mind to open each one and then slam it shut. There was a certain satisfaction in channeling all my angst into that power. 

Only one drawer wouldn’t close, and I frowned at it, trying harder to move it. Finally, with an exasperated sigh, I leaned over to see if it was stuck on something.

It was. The edge of a picture frame was keeping it from shutting, and I pulled it out, already knowing what it was—a photograph of Michael and me, taken last summer on the beach. He had one arm around my shoulders and was looking at me, while I smiled up into the camera. Anne had taken the picture, I remembered. She had laughed that she had tried to get one with both of us facing the camera.

“But it’s impossible. Michael never takes his eyes off you, Tas. You’ll have to settle for this one.”

With one finger, I traced the shape of Michael’s face. Pain crested over me. I had carefully put this away the same day that I’d told Michael I didn’t want to see him anymore. And below it—I picked up a roll of cotton and unwrapped the treasure. It was my half of the sand dollar we’d found on that perfect August day, when life stretched in front of us and it seemed the hardest thing we’d ever face was being apart during Michael’s first year of college.

Tears rolled down my face, and I touched the jagged edge of the shell. I wondered if Michael still had his half, the one that perfectly fit against this one. Together they made one perfect sand dollar. Apart, they were just pieces of shell that meant nothing.

For the first time in many days, I let the pain of missing Michael completely take me under. I crawled onto my bed still holding the half sand dollar and wept.

Rafe was waiting for me when I pulled into the parking lot the next morning. I ignored his wave as I took out my backpack and carefully locked the car.

“Tas, look. I’m sorry about yesterday-”

I ducked under the hand he tried to put on my shoulder. “Save it, Rafe. I’m seriously annoyed with you.”

“I don’t see why.” Rafe jogged a little to keep up with me. “You were going to tell her anyway, right?”

“In
my
time,” I said through clenched teeth. “I don’t like being manipulated. You decided to take things into your own hands, and you used me to do it.”

“Well, it wasn’t so much my own hands. More… my arms… and lips.” He was trying to tease me out of my mood. It wasn’t going to work. I threw him a dark look.

He kept talking the whole time I traded books at my locker, and I remained silent. I slammed the locker door and began walking toward my first class. 

“So did you call her? What did she say?” I spared him a glance out of the corner of my eye.

“No. I didn’t call her.”

“Why not? I thought you’d be groveling, trying to get back in her good graces.”

We had reached my classroom, and I paused before going in. “Rafe, you don’t know anything about it. And I’m done talking about this with you.” I swung my back to him as I turned into the room, and when he grabbed my arm, I glared murderously. 

“I told you. Don’t mess with me.” Just below the surface, the well of energy bubbled. I remembered the lunch table and the rattling silverware. I didn’t want to lose control like that again. I slipped from Rafe’s grasp and found my desk.

I avoided him at lunch by spending it in the library. I made a point of getting all the books I needed from my locker, and right after French, I hurried to my car. I was out of the parking lot and heading toward Marica’s house before Rafe could harass me again.

Marica looked at me coolly when she answered the door. “What are doing here, Tasmyn?”

“I wanted to talk with you. About yesterday.”

She shrugged but stood aside and motioned me inside. “Well. What do you have to say? I think you’ve made it quite clear what you think about my advice.”

“That’s not true. I do care. I didn’t know you were there, Marica. Rafe—he was upset about what you said, about him using his power on my mind. And he was trying to make a point. He shouldn’t have done it, and I’ve told him that.”

Marica tilted her head and regarded me without expression. “I’m assuming he denied the truth of what I told you.”

Tension built in my shoulders and neck. I really didn’t want to get into this discussion. I believed Rafe, but at the same time, I knew that Marica thought she was looking out for my best interest. For whatever reason, Marica found any kind of entanglement with males distasteful.  Neither of them was ever going to give in, and I had no desire to be in the middle of it.

“Rafe and I have worked it out. Don’t worry. It’s not going to interfere with my work here.”

Marica drew in a deep breath and shook her head skeptically. “You have no idea how much any kind of emotional involvement affects your control. But you were right on Monday. What you do on your own time is certainly none of my business.”

I wanted to roll my eyes; she sounded like my mother when her feelings were hurt. Instead I smothered both the sigh and the eye roll. “Okay. As long as we’re all right. I want to keep learning, Marica. I don’t want to give this up.” 

She thawed just enough that her lips twitched. “I should hope not. But I don’t want you coming back here.” At my expression of dismay, she added, “You’ve moved beyond what we can do in the house. If you’re going to master the elements, we need to be outside. And we should meet more frequently, too. I’ll see you at Lake Rosu on Friday afternoon.”