Kill Jill (17 page)

“Sounds like a technicality to me.”

“Fine. Don’t tell me. I’m just glad your head and tongue are normal.”

“She was one of the maidens last time out.”

“You guys are Vikings?”

“No. We were campaign volunteers. The governor’s re-election committee paid us a thousand dollars to be maidens.”

“I’d have paid twice that much to see you topless, chasing chickens!”

“Thanks. I think.”

They kiss again. From behind them, Fanny says, “Get a room!”

Jack and Jill turn to see Fanny sitting on a horse, holding the reigns of a second one.

“Two horses for three people?” Jack says.

“I’ve got to bring them back,” she says. “I can’t lead two horses by myself through this crowd. Jill, I’ll let you choose who gets to sit behind me on the saddle.”

“Me,” Jill says.

“Sorry, Jack,” Fanny says. “Okay, let’s saddle up.”

They climb on the horses, work their way through the crowd, through the marsh, and onto the main road. They ride under the interstate, and come to the dirt road where Jack and Jill left the Fosters. Jack stands in his stirrups to see if the car’s still there, but it’s too dark to tell.

“Fanny, hold up,” he says. “I need to check something.”

He climbs off his horse, hands her the reigns, and checks to see if the keys are still where he put them.

When he reclaims his horse, Jill says, “Update?”

“The Fosters have left the building.”

“Who are the Fosters?” Fanny says.

“The less you know, the better,” Jack says.

“Story of my life.”

“Story of
my
life is paying two thousand dollars to ride a horse back to where I was an hour ago.”

They ride to the next dirt road and turn left. After a half mile it ends at an old, two-story bait shop. Fanny ties the horses to a cypress tree, and knocks on the door till the lights come on upstairs. The window opens, a man yells, “We’re closed!”

“Ziggy, open up. It’s me, Fanny.”

“
Fanny
? Where the hell have you
been
, girl?”

“Everywhere. Open up, I’ve got some paying customers for you.”

“Hang on.”

Fanny whispers, “I’ll go in first, and handle the negotiations. Don’t say anything about the money you’ve paid or how much you have in your pockets.”

Ziggy opens the door, Fanny walks in, closes the door behind her.

Jack says, “What’s going on, you think?”

“Fanny’s resourceful,” Jill says.

“What’s that mean?”

“She’s planning to pay him with sex and pocket the difference. Or at least part of it.”

“She told you that while riding here?”

“That and a whole lot more, including detailed information about the tattoos on her ass, all of which comes under the heading of too much information.”

“Did she happen to mention how we were getting to Jackson within an hour?”

“Ziggy’s going to air boat us to a private airfield. Then we’re flying to another private airfield in Jackson. From there, we can take a cab to Memphis, then another one to Willow Lake.”

“Ziggy doesn’t have a car or truck?”

“Nope.”

“I don’t want our names appearing on an FAA flight manifest.”

“They won’t.”

“Why not?”

“We’re being flown by a drug runner. In a crop duster.”

“Oh, swell!”

The door opens. Fanny says, “Let’s go.”

“You’re going with us?” Jill says.

“I’ll want to pay Mike the Pilot personally. Otherwise, Ziggy might be inclined to shoot you in the back, dump you in the swamp, and steal your money.”

“What stops him from killing all three of us?”

She flicks her blue tongue and says, “He’ll want me in a happy mood.”

“How fast will she go?” Jack says, as they climb aboard.

“This one can carry two passengers at seventy-eight miles an hour,” Ziggy says. “We’ll probably hit fifty on the way there. But coming back I plan to open her up.”

“The boat or me?” Fanny says.

“Both.”

Jill says, “You’re not seriously planning to go fifty miles an hour in the dark, are you?”

“Did you bring a spotlight?”

“No.”

“Then yes, I am.”

“That seems
terribly
dangerous.”

“It is, for a fact,” Ziggy says.

They travel nine miles in twelve terrifying minutes. All four of them scream the entire way, including Ziggy, who screams the loudest. Jack and Jill can’t get off the boat fast enough. Fanny says, “I can’t wait to take her seventy-eight in pitch black, after the sissies are gone.”

“I’m game,” Ziggy says, “But I’ll need another drink first.”

They hear him unscrew the cap from his bourbon flask.

“Drink till it hurts!” Fanny says.

“Hurry back, Sugar Tits.”

She leads Jack and Jill to the grass runway where they find Mike the Pilot standing beside the plane. “One thousand,” he says. “In advance.”

Fanny pays him and says, “Who’s first?”

Jill says, “What do you mean?”

“It’s a crop-duster. Mike can only carry one passenger at a time.”

Jack says, “You didn’t say anything about that.”

“If I did, you might not have come.”

“That’s my point.”

“But here we are,” Fanny says. “Look, it’s only a forty minute flight. I called a cab before we left Ziggy’s place. He’ll be there when you land. Mike will fly one of you there, come back and get the other one in ninety minutes.”

The only light comes from two battery-powered lanterns on either side of the runway. Jack and Jill can see each other, but their faces are shadowy.

Jack says, “You go first. You can’t stay here by yourself. It’s too dangerous.”

Jill says, “I don’t want to go without you.”

“Guys,” Jack says, “Can you give us a minute to talk? We’ll be right back.”

He and Jill walk far enough to insure privacy.

Jack says, “I’m sure everything will be fine. But just in case, here.”

He hands her the cash envelope and says, “I kept five hundred, in case Mike needs an extra incentive at the last minute.”

“I don’t want to carry all this money.”

“These guys don’t know if I’ve got any money, or if so, how much. But I doubt they’ll think you’re holding it. If they decide to rob me at the last minute, we’ll both be without cash.”

“Fine. I’ll hold it till you get there. But I don’t want to split up.”

“I know.”

“What if he tries something when we land?”

“Like what?”

“Like…you know.”

“Fanny says she called a cab. You trust her, right?”

“Completely.”

“Okay then, when you land, go straight to the cab.”

“What if something goes wrong?”

He sighs. “We’re sort of locked in at this point, Jill. But I want you to promise me something. If I’m not there two hours after you land, go without me.”

“I can’t.”

“You have to.”

“If you’re not there in two hours it’ll mean you’re dead.”

“Probably. But it also might mean the plane broke down. Or some other issue came up.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. I’m just saying, do
not
wait more than two hours for me.”

They watch Mike the pilot illuminate two lanterns at the far end of the airstrip.

Jack says, “Look, I’ve still got my cell phone, and you’ve got my number in your pocket. When you land, get the cab driver to call me, so I’ll know you’re safe.”

“What if you don’t answer?”

“If you can’t reach me on my cell phone, or if I take off and don’t arrive on schedule, do
not
wait. If I’m alive, I’ll find a way to get to you.”

“Don’t ditch me, Jack.”

He laughs. “If I were ditching you I wouldn’t give you my cash, my credit card, and my lake house keys, would I?”

Mike hollers, “Turn on those other two lamps for me, and let’s get going!”

Jack says, “Walk with me.”

As they head to the far end of the runway, Jill says, “Technically, you haven’t given me your lake house keys.”

“I can’t. I lost them in the car fire. But when you get to the house, look for the water spigot on the left side of the house. It’s been taped. Unravel the tape, and you’ll find the extra key.”

“You sound like you’re not coming.”

“I’m just trying to protect you in case something goes wrong. If I’m alive, I’ll meet you there, eventually. I promise.”

They turn on the lanterns.

“What if something happens to
me
?” Jill says.

“When you get to Willow Lake, stock up on provisions. You’ll want to buy some clothes and a disposable cell phone. When you get a chance, get a stepladder. You can keep it in the hall closet.”

“Why a stepladder?”

“Any messages you want to give me, like your new cell phone number, or anything else you want to tell me, you can write on the top edge of the doors. No one will ever think to look for them there.”

Mike fires up the plane.

Fanny shouts, “We’re sittin’ on G, waitin’ on O!”

“She’ll be right there!” Jack shouts back.

To Jill, he says, “One last thing.”

“What?”

“I need to tell you about my secret room.”

Fifty-two minutes later, Jack’s cell phone rings.

“Thank God you answered!” Jill says. “I’ve been scared to death for you. Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.”

“Tell me Fanny’s not with you.”

“You mean Sugar Tits? She and Ziggy roared out of here before you were in the air. Where’s Mike?”

“He took off a few minutes ago.”

“Good. And the cab driver’s okay?”

“Seems fine.”

“I should hang up now, save the battery.”

“Okay, but do me a favor?”

“Name it.”

“Call me before you take off.”

“Of course.”

Fifty minutes later Jack places the call. The cab driver answers by giving his name, then passes the phone to Jill.

Jack says, “I’m climbing in now. I’ll see you in forty-five minutes.”

“What time is it now?”

“Two forty-five.”

“Be safe.”

“See you soon, pretty lady.”

“Please hurry!”

Jack climbs in the crop duster’s passenger seat. “Thanks for accommodating me.”

“Thanks for the extra five hundred.”

They take off without speaking. When they’re airborne, Jack says, “I can’t believe you can land this thing in pitch dark with just six lanterns to guide you.”