Kilgannon (22 page)

"Lass," he said, holding my arms wide. "Yer the most exquisite woman that has ever lived. I've never seen any woman more lovely. No, Mary, dinna blush and get shy again. Look," he said, running a hand from the side of my breast down to my waist and hip, turning me in the light from the fire. "Look how ye curve in and out. Ye are perfection, Mary Lowell."

I shook my head. "Not Mary Lowell anymore, Alex. I'm Mary MacGannon now. The Countess of Kilgannon. Alex's wife." "Aye," he said. "Mary. My wife."

I took a deep breath and summoned my courage. "Alex," I said. "I would like to see you."

"And ye shall." He was out of his pants so quickly that I giggled. 'This makes ye laugh?" he asked fiercely, standing before me naked. I shook my head. Indeed, all of me was shaking.

"No. You're divine," I said, drawing in my breath. And he was. Tall and lean, his body was flawless. His shoulders, arms, and chest were well muscled, his waist trim, and his legs long and lean. I marveled at him. Had there ever been such a man? My husband, I told myself. His skin, tan on the legs and arms, was smooth and clear. I ran my hands along his sides and down to where his legs met his body, exploring the thighs I had so longed to touch. He was very ready for me and I blushed again, not sure what to do.

He smiled. "Don't think, Mary," he said, and pulled me to him, cupping my breast in his hand as he bent to kiss it. I stroked his shoulders and leaned back as his hands roamed over me, stroking my legs, my stomach, my back, and more. It feels right, I thought, it feels right to have him touch me. I reached for him and he smiled.

And I didn't protest when he led me to the side of the bed, letting him bend me back onto it. He leaned over me and smiled. "Mary, ye have no idea how wonderful ye look, yer hair tossed across the sheets, so dark against the white, and yer skin like milk. Ye may be the most beautiful woman that has ever lived. And yer mine." He lowered his body slowly next to mine. "My wife," he sighed, and kissed me. "My Mary."

"And two shall become one," "I said, and pulled him down to me.

"And two shall become one," he said. We did not speak for a long time.

It was wonderful. He was tender and generous and patient, and after the first few moments I relaxed, giving myself to him fully. His body was magnificently male, and I explored it with delight. Now I knew what all those women meant when they discussed men and why Rowena looked at him as she did. I would never look at him the same. Cradled in his arms as he slept, I decided I was the most fortunate woman in the world. This is my husband, I thought, for the rest of my life. Nothing will ever separate us again. I smiled to myself. We would face the future together. Two had become one. He had been right. My body, once I stopped guiding it, had known what do. Alex taught me the rest. I ran my fingers across his back and felt him tighten his grip on me. I turned on my side and leaned into his warmth and slept.

I woke in the early morning and slowly realized that I was not alone. All memory flooded back as I opened my eyes and he was there, propped up on one elbow, his hair falling around his face, his expression tender. "Good morning to ye, lass." He kissed my forehead before he scooted himself down to eye level with me. "The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was yer face, Mary."

"I'm sorry," I said.

He laughed softly and stroked my cheek. "I'm not. I've waited months for this. I wanted to take ye to my bed the night we met, but I thought it would be impolite. How are ye this morning?"

"Alex, it was amazing." I sighed with contentment.

He laughed again and pulled me to him. I could hear his heart beating and I sighed again. I grew sleepy, but after a few moments he whispered my name. "Mary, are ye awake?"

"Yes." I stretched my arm out as I yawned. He reached out and took my hand and, in the fashion of lovers everywhere, compared our hands, his browner and much bigger. "We're the same size."

"Not quite, lass. Ye come to my waist."

"I'm almost as tall as you are." I propped myself up on one elbow and faced him. He laughed at me.

"Aye, that's the first thing I noticed. The top of yer head."

"That's not true."

"No, it is not," he said, his hands busy again. "I noticed other things first."

I smiled, stroking his chest and sliding my hand down to his stomach. "I think I was born to be in bed with you."

"Ah, Mary, I'm glad yer not afraid of this. I was wondering if...." He sucked in his breath as I moved my hand lower.

"If?"

"If
you’d
like it," he said huskily. I laughed. "I like it."

WHEN I WOKE AGAIN IT WAS MIDDAY, RAINY, AND I was alone. I found Alex downstairs before the fire, reading, looking so content that I smiled to myself, enjoying the scene.

"How are ye, lass?" he said, and looked up with a smile.

"Very well rested," I said, laughing. "And
hungry
."

He laughed too. "Strange effect marriage has on ye." I made a face at him and led the way into the kitchen, where we sat at the table in the kitchen eating a cold meal.

"Alex?" I said. We had been quiet for a few minutes and I'D watched him as he ate, his expression thoughtful. "Alex, I want to discuss something."

"Och, here it comes. One day married and it's starting." "You're making this difficult."

"Aye." He nodded, laughing. Look at how beautiful he is, I thought. My husband. I have the right to touch him, to talk with him, to be alone with him. Any time I wish to, day or night. And no one can lecture me or make me feel common because I cannot stop looking at him. My husband.

"Alex...." I said, lifting my chin.

"Yer a verra persistent woman, Mary MacGannon."

"Yes." I glared at him. "Very. So listen to me."

"I willna say another word."

"Good. Now, listen. I've been thinking."

"Mmmm," he said, his mouth twitching.

"Alex!" He grinned at me again. "I want you to buy a boat with my dowry. One to replace the one that went down."

He blinked. His arms fell from his chest and he placed his hands on the table. I leaned against the back of my chair, enjoying his amazement. He looked at me for a long moment, then at the floor before meeting my eyes again.

"I dinna ken what to say. That's a verra generous offer."

I smiled smugly. "Speechless. I'm enjoying it very much."

He ignored my remark and continued, speaking softly and slowly. "It's verra generous, lass, but I dinna think I could accept yer offer. That's to be yer money."

"You must accept it, Alex. You cannot say no to this!"

His eyes grew merry. "Aye? Must I?"

"Yes," I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I see," he said, imitating me perfectly. "And why is that?"

I leaned toward him. "Alex, when you proposed, you asked me to share what you had and I pledged to share what I have. Now we are married, and I want you to use the dowry money. Rebuild your fleet." He looked at me, considering. "I will have my way in this, my love."

"Will ye, lass?" He shook his head, grinning. "I think not, but ye can amuse yourself." I stood abruptly and my chair fell. He did not move, but his expression sobered.

"Then you can amuse yourself as well, sir." I was dangerously close to tears as I moved to the door. He was there before me and blocked my way. When I reached my hands up to push him aside, he clenched my wrists and turned us around so that my back was to the wall. I looked up into his eyes as he held my wrists above me.

"I love ye, Mary MacGannon, and I accept yer offer. Graciously." He kissed my forehead and then my cheek. I turned my head and he chuckled. "Dinna be angry, lass. Ye won," he whispered in my ear, and released my wrists as he gathered me to him. "Ye won. With one condition."

I turned to face him and he kissed my mouth. "Which is?"

"That the ship will always stay in yer name, not mine. It will always be yer property. Ye may do with it as ye wish. Ye have only to speak."

"No. It will be yours."

"Mary, it will be yer property and only yers, or I willna accept it. And I willna argue the point." He kissed me again.

"Alex," I said eventually. His attention was on what his hands were doing to my laces. "You will buy the boat?"

His hands stopped and he laughed ruefully. "Ship, lass, and aye, I'll buy it. Ye ken yer power, Mary. It's as I've told ye from the first—it will be as ye wish. I feel uneasy using yer money this way, but if it is truly what ye wish, I will do it, and thank ye for it." I slipped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Our money, Alex. Our money. And it is truly what I wish."

"Then ye'll have yer way. With my condition." He kissed my forehead again, his hands very busy.

"So you will order it built? From London?"

"No. Yer money will be spent in Scotland," he said, leaning down to undo a stubborn fastening.

"And you'll do that as soon as we get there?"

"After the wedding, aye, lass, HI spend every penny of yer dowry if it's what ye say." His hands stopped and he looked up. "Mary, tell me, lass. Has no one ever denied ye anything?"

"Yes." I stroked his cheek. "I had to wait months for you."

The five days flew by all too quickly and it was time to leave. We had been left alone but had been well cared for. We had enjoyed the privacy and thoughtfulness and wrote to the Duke and Duchess with our thanks the night before we left. Alex was quiet as we piled our luggage in the foyer that evening, in preparation for the morning, and I asked him what he was thinking.

"I'm thinking that Kilgannon will be a shock to ye, lass. This was the quiet before the storm. We've had time together, the two of us, and that will be rare from here on. We'll be surrounded by the clan, and while it never bothered me, I'm thinking it's a life verra different than ye've known. Have ye any misgivings?"

His expression was troubled, and I put my arms around him and kissed him. "We will be fine. If we were to live at Mountgarden it would be the same. I grew up with staff around me."

"They're not yer relatives."

"We'll be fine, Alex. But there is one thing ..."

"Aye?"

"Ellen. Could I possibly bring Ellen?" "Ellen?"

"She's one of Louisa's housemaids. I've grown very fond of her. She would be a companion for me."

He shrugged. "Oh, aye, anything. But do ye think the girl would want to go live in such a far place?" "She says she does." And she had, just before our wedding. In the excitement I had forgotten her request.

"Then it's done. If she hates it, I'll ship her home."

"How do I tell her? We're to meet everyone tomorrow. I should have thought of it before this."

"We'll have time," he said, moving one of my trunks. "One of the lads can leave straightaway. We don't sail until tomorrow night." He frowned at the luggage. "How much more are ye bringing with ye, lass? Perhaps we'll need two ships."

My family met us without incident and we left: with the tide into a clear and cold twilight. Wee Donald had volunteered to go to London to get Ellen, and she was delighted to have been remembered. She stood next to me as we waved to my family, bouncing with excitement. I watched her fondly, wondering if her enthusiasm would fade as we traveled north into the unknown. My farewells had been far more difficult than I had imagined. I had never been without Louisa or Will for any length of time, and I was filled with remorse for not treasuring our last few weeks. Randolph was gruff on the surface but teary-eyed as I embraced him. I was in tears myself, and he wiped them away with an unexpectedly tender gesture.

"Take good care of my girl, Kilgannon," Randolph growled.

Alex grinned at him. "I will, sir. And ye will come to visit us in the northern wilds, no?"

He turned abruptly away and Louisa patted his arm before embracing me. We both promised to write. I knew she would return to her busy schedule in London, but I knew as well that she would miss me, as I would her. I'D never been the one to leave. I tried to thank her again for all her kindness, but she waved my words away.

"Mary, if you need us, we'll be here for you always." She cupped my face in her hands and tried a weak smile. "Always, my dear." I could not speak but nodded and embraced her again.

Will did not try to hide his emotions as he held me to him, talking quietly. 'Take care, little Mary. Be happy. And if he is not what you think, come home and I'll cut his heart out."

"Oh, Will...." I said, fighting my tears and losing.

He smiled. "Be happy, Mary." I nodded and hugged him again. Even Betty was caught up in the moment and clung to me, wishing us well. One last embrace from all and I was ushered on board, to wave at them as we sailed into the evening.

Our trip was uneventful and I was grateful I had once again proved to be a good sailor. When we reached Scotland the seas were huge and threatening, but no rain hampered us. The last day we sailed through islands, and the waves calmed somewhat. Alex pointed out sights and named what we were passing and whose lands they were, and I heard for the first time many of the names that were to become so meaningful later. We were standing on deck together when Gannon's Lady turned its back on the sea at last and sailed into a loch.

Alex wore his best today and had asked me to wear the cloak
he’d
given me. It swirled around me like a sail as we changed course and the wind came from our back.

"Loch Gannon," Alex said, smiling broadly while he nodded at my expression and brushed the hair back from my face. "Aye, the man put his name on everything. When Agnus and I were boys, we called
everything
'
Gannon, tree
Gannon, rock Gannon, boat Gannon. We thought we were verra clever. Of course, so did Gannon." He smiled again. "Almost home."

The sides of the loch were rocky cliffs, towering gray and lifeless over us. I stared around me, wondering what kind of land I had come to. Could anyone really think this beautiful? How could this support many people? Who could live in such a desolate place? We turned around a bend, and here the cliffs tapered off slowly into barren hills on one side, but still no houses, no people, and I felt my heart sink. This was no better. How could he have said it was so splendid? And his sketches. Where had he been drawing?

"Do ye hear the pipes, lass?" Alex's smile was private. "Ye will shortly. They're giving us a proper homecoming. And if ye look up on the top of the headland there" —he pointed to a rocky precipice that towered at the next turn of the loch— "ye'll see a boy waving. He's the one who spied us and told the others of our approach." I shielded my eyes and sure enough, a young boy jumped from one foot to another, waving furiously at us. Alex waved in return. "Ye dinna think
we’d
not look to see who was arriving, did ye?
Everyone
knows who arrives by sea before they land in Kilgannon." His eyes were shining as he listened intently, and soon I could hear the pipes as well. As we rounded the final curve of the loch, the music grew louder and soared over the valley.

And what a valley. Green, lush, full of trees and growth, spreading before us like an Eden. No wonder he thought it was extraordinary. Nothing had prepared me for this. It was even more beautiful than he said. Oh, yes, I thought, I could live here. The valley was full of sunshine this afternoon, but the mist hung over the mountains above, ready to descend. Pipers lined the side of a dock, a crowd of people with them, more arriving as we watched. From the flat land around the dock, the valley stretched to the end of the loch and into a meadow surrounded by the trees that led up to the mountains.

"Kilgannon," Alex said softly next to me, and pointed. I followed his gaze and looked to my right across the water. It was indeed a castle. It seemed to grow out of the very rock, reigning from atop a steep hill that rose sharply in a series of walled terraces, quickly leaving the valley floor below. Above the terraces were ancient walls that had been amended, creating a formidable fortification of gray stone. The castle was yet above that, more walls enclosing the original keep and the later buildings. It was a noble structure, graceful despite its size and its obvious defensive features. Nine generations of MacGannons had lived and died here, I thought, and I now would be its mistress. The gray stones were silhouetted against the mist above. Welcome me, Kilgannon, I said silently, I will do my best to be worthy.

And then my attention was caught by the people who cheered as we approached the dock. They called to Alex as we landed, and I was astonished at the casual way they greeted him. Many called him "my laird" or "sir," but more often it was simply "Alex." Except for the two small boys who clambored on board before all the lines were secured. "Da! Da!" they cried as they scrambled over the side and flung themselves on Alex. He hugged them ferociously in return and I stood back, studying them as they greeted their father. The older one looked very much like Alex must have at his age, the younger an exact copy except for the much redder blond hair. Both had their father's long limbs, wild hair, and blue eyes. And affectionate nature. After a moment Alex put them both down, laughing.

"Mary, these are my sons," he said, one hand on each boy's head. Three pairs of blue eyes watched me closely.

I curtsied deeply and smiled. "I am Mary," I said. Dear God, I prayed, let them accept me. I will do my best to be a good mother. "You must be Ian," I said to the older boy, "and you must be Jamie." They both nodded, suddenly silent and shy. "I am very happy to meet you." I looked into their blue, blue eyes, but they said nothing. They fell into step behind us as we walked down the planks to the dock and did not speak as Alex was surrounded by his kinsmen. Angus followed us onto the dock, Matthew by his side, and the boys came alive again, swarming over both of them. Matthew threw Jamie over his shoulder and took off at a run up the hill, Ian in their wake. I felt very alone in the crowd of Scots as I watched them race away.