Keeper of the Golden Dragon's Heart (The Cedar River Series) (12 page)

I stopped what I was doing. “What? You know how much I hate public speaking.”

Mama hugged me with one arm, “Sweetie, you will be just fine. If you need us, we’re here for you. You could just pretend you are saying the blessing to Bowie. He’s always calmed you down.”

My palms were already sweating, my heart racing, my chest getting tight. Yeah, I have anxiety attacks when I’m asked to speak in public. I ducked into the restroom to run cold water over my wrists. When I finally gathered myself together and walked out, the center was filled with people who I had babysat for, went to school with, dated, and loved. This was a family gathering of sorts. But I couldn’t find the most important person to me…Bowie.

Callum had brought the girl from the tree lot. Colin had to tease me about wearing a dress and heels.

“If you aren’t careful, kitten, we might start to think of you as a girl,” he’d teased.

Brady was talking to a very pretty redhead. I don’t think I’d ever seen Brady talk to a woman before unless she was on a tour. I don’t know what she was saying to him, but he was blushing. I stopped to talk to certain people, but I was looking for Bowie. I went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. I closed my eyes and forced myself to calm down. I felt someone step up behind me, and for a moment I forgot to breathe. His scent gave him away. He naturally smelled like a campfire on a chilly fall night and his cologne only enhanced his smell.

“Looking for me?” he whispered in my ear. He kissed my neck. I turned into him and hugged him tight. He wrapped his arms around me, “Mama told me about Camille’s plan. Just breathe, kitten. I’ve got you.”

I breathed in and let it all out. I opened my eyes for the first time since he had found me. Wow! He had on a pair of black dress pants and a cobalt linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He looked amazing.

“You look so handsome tonight,” I said.

He twirled me so that he could see my dress. “Since when do you wear dresses? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in one. And those shoes, I’m such a lucky man. Those legs are going to keep me going for quite a while. You look so sexy.”

The dress was one that Viv had found that she thought would be ‘superb’ for me. It was flowy and soft. I had wanted it in black, but Viv convinced me that the green would suit me better. The handkerchief hem kept me from feeling too exposed. The shoes were one of those purchases I’d made, then wondered where in hell I would wear them. You know the purchases I’m talking about, right? They were black platform pumps with a bow on the toe. Cute, but definitely not something I’d wear often. At least I hadn’t thought so at the time. I may have more reasons to wear them now since they drove Bowie crazy.

“Thank you.”

“Can I ask for a favor?” he said with a grin.

“I’ll keep the shoes. Just for you. Maybe one day I’ll wear them and only them just for you.”

“You are a bad, mean woman, Anastasia Plum,” he said as he leaned down to kiss me. Then, he took me by the hand and led me to where our friends, family and town were gathering. Camille was asking people to sit down so we could do the blessing. Everyone sat pretty quickly.

“I’ve asked Ana Plum to say the blessing tonight. Ana, can you come up?”

I took a deep breath.

Bowie whispered, “I’ve got your back.”

I walked to the front of the room. Suddenly the lights dimmed so that the candles in the centerpieces were the only light in the room. My cat eyes could make out Bowie standing at the light switch.

“Can we join hands with our neighbors, friends and family?” I requested.

I called on the Lord and Lady to help me through this. A large hand took my left. I looked to see Brady there on one side. My right hand was taken by another familiar hand…Papa’s. Tears welled up in my eyes. With a wobbly voice, I recited a blessing I remembered my mom and dad saying before each meal, “Lord and Lady, watch over us, and bless us as we eat. Bless this food, this bounty of earth, we thank you, so mote it be.”

The lights came back on and Camille took over again. My knees were not too steady as I made my way back to Bowie.

“You did good, kitten,” Brady said.

Papa hugged me.

Bowie turned me so my back was against him and wrapped his arms around me from behind. “That was good,” he said.

“Yeah, well, next year, you can do it.” He laughed.

Mama had her boys trained to wait until everyone else had been through the line until they could fill their plates. Bowie and I got into line.

Lance arrived a little late, “Hey, Ana.”

I stepped out to hug him. “How are you? I haven’t seen you. You promised me a movie.”

“I’m good. I’ve been busy. Are you sure us seeing a movie wouldn’t bother Bowie?”

I looked up at Bowie, “Two friends can see a movie, can’t they?”

Bowie glared at Lance, “As long as one friend keeps his hands to himself.”

Lance swallowed hard. “I’m off tomorrow night. They’ve got Red Riding Hood showing.”

“Cool. I’ll meet you at the theater.” I could have sworn I heard Bowie growl.

The party wound down early, so Bowie and I took a walk around town to see the lights and Yule displays. He was tense and had been since I chatted with Lance.

“Are you going to yell at me? If you are, just get it over with, please,” I begged.

He took a deep breath, “I’m not going to yell. I just can’t figure out why you’d make plans to go to the movies with him. I thought I’d been pretty clear in how I feel about you.”

I frowned at him. “Well, you’ve expressed a lot of desire, but you haven’t been an open book about where this is going, Bowie. If you just want to fuck me, Bowie, let’s go. I promise you’ll never forget it. If you want a relationship, speak up. I’m ready to go either way. I’m not “dating” Lance. I’m going to the movies with a friend. You have to work tomorrow, and I don’t want to sit home alone. Lance and I had plans, but when this, whatever ‘this’ is, all happened between us so quickly, I knew I wasn’t going to see Lance again on a boyfriend-type basis. Right now, you are really hurting my feelings. Just what type of person do you think I am?”

Bowie looked at me, I mean, really looked at me. “You know me, Bowie. Probably better than anyone if you think about it. I’m not the girl who has one guy on the line while seeing someone else.”

I let go of his hand and started back to the center alone. I refused to let the tears in my eyes fall. Callum was just getting ready to leave when I walked up. I waved him down.

“Hey, can you give me a ride home?” Callum unlocked the door and let me in.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m just tired.” That was the end of the conversation.

I changed my clothes when we got home and walked down to the lake. I did my best thinking when I was outside and this seemed like a night that I needed to think about. My feelings for Bowie were leaving me confused. He’d always been my friend. He understood me on a level the others didn’t.

I found a spot to sit down. I spread my blanket out on the log and got comfortable. I had always loved Bowie. But this love was changing and growing deeper so quickly that it was terrifying me. Why did I agree to go the movies with Lance? Because he was my friend, just like Viv was my friend. I wouldn’t have hesitated to tell her “yes.” Did I think Bowie was blowing things out of proportion? To me, yes, but I also knew Bowie better than I think even I realized. His alpha male personality was saying, “she’s mine and no one else’s.” He saw Lance as competition. Deep down, I believe he knew that Lance and I were friends, but it was that alpha male/dragon thing that had us where we were at this point. 

I looked up at the stars, “Mommy, what do I do? Can you give me any sign?”

Within moments, I heard someone walking across the snow towards me. I took a deep breath and smelled Bowie. “What are you doing here? You’ve got to be to the station early tomorrow. You should be in bed,” I said without turning around.

He chuckled, “I should be, but you wouldn’t be there. I knew I wouldn’t get any sleep. So I came looking for you. Callum told me where you’d gone. Of course, that was after he threatened to tear me a new asshole for making you cry.” He sat down next to me. “Did I make you cry?” he asked.

I refused to look at him because tears were falling freely down my face.

“Oh, kitten,” he said, putting his arm around me and drawing me nearer. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just old school in my way of thinking, you know that. Men and women can’t be just friends, in my opinion. It gets all tangled up.” He wiped away my tears. “I also know I haven’t been clear on what this is between us, probably because I don’t know either. I know I don’t want just a quick fuck. I know I love you. I’ve always loved you, but this tastes different to me. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

I nodded, “But you know Lance is my friend, right? Just like Viv is my friend. My cat didn’t like him as well as she likes you.”

Bowie smiled, “I like that…a lot.”

“She tries to claw her way out to get to you, she likes you that well.”

“But you know Lance was hoping of more, right?”

“
I
was hoping for more with
him
, too, Bowie.”

The hurt was back in his face. “Bowie, stop that! I would never have dreamed that this would have happened between us. You have always been my buddy. I thought you were trying to protect me when you got all alpha male, I didn’t realize you were jealous.”

Bowie put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. “I was so pissed off the night he took you out. Then, he got back to the station and he smelled like you. I could have driven his head through the nearest wall. That’s when I realized my feelings for you were changing. But, if I’m going to be honest, I think it all started when I caught you and Connor Pierce parking. I’d never experienced a rage like that before. By the way, how could you have sex with that little punk?”

It was my turn to chuckle, “It seemed like the thing to do before I started my senior year. I don’t have any other explanation than that. But I will tell you he was the first and the last, Bowie.”

Bowie stiffened beside me, “Kitten, you really shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s the truth, and if you deserve anything from me, it’s the truth.”

“Let’s go up to the house,” he said as he offered me his hand.

We raced back to the house. Because I’m lighter, I was able to beat him back. I waited for him on the porch. I stood under the porch light. He was laughing and breathless when he got to the porch.

“Out of shape, copper?” I teased.

He smiled broadly, “Kind of looks like it. Or maybe I’m just getting old.”

“Ah, there is that age factor. You are getting ancient, Sheriff Golden.”

Bowie swung me off the porch and held me against him, “I’m going back to my house tonight. I don’t trust myself to stay under the same roof with you. Stop by the station tomorrow night after you get out of the movies? If it’s early enough, and I’ll take you to dinner.”

“Why, Sheriff? Are you asking me out on a date?”

His smile turned dragonish in nature, “Maybe I’m seducing you.”

I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him goodnight. “Seduce away.”

He kissed me and stood under my bedroom window until I turned on my light. I blew him a kiss and watched until his taillights disappeared into the night.

Chapter Twenty-One-Bowie

When I opened my front door, the house felt cold and empty. Or maybe it was just the way I felt. Leaving Ana was hard. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. It would tear me apart. I looked around this place that I called home and realized this was not where I wanted to bring Ana home to live with me.

I got out my bank statements to see where I sat with my savings. Dragons are hoarders by nature, but I never paid too much attention to my finances as I should have. This whole thing with Anastasia had me re-thinking things. Mom and Dad had offered me a few acres on the family compound for me to build a house. I had turned them down because I didn’t want them knowing just who I was bringing home or what nights I spent elsewhere. But now…things were changing. I was ready to settle down with one woman and we could raise a brood of kids.

My parents would love having Anastasia and I closer to them. Then that little voice in my head yelled, “Slow down, cowboy! What about Ana? Is she ready to settle down? And who says she wants to spend forever with you?” I walked away from the table and sat down in my recliner to think.

Dreams of Ana and poachers haunted me all night long. At four o’clock in the morning, I got up and made a pot of strong coffee. I didn’t have to be into the station until eight, but I wasn’t sleeping anyway. I poured the coffee into a thermos and drove out to my parents’ house.

The house was quiet. No movement whatsoever. I sat there for an hour watching. Then, the upstairs window opened and I saw Ana poke her head out. She smiled a sleepy smile and waved at me to come up. I was out of my truck and up the front steps before she could close the window. I started the coffee pot knowing everyone would start getting up soon.

Ana shuffled down the stairs in her pajamas, her hair a mess. She was shaking her head at me as I leaned against the counter. “What are you doing here so early, Bowie?” she whispered.

I held out my arms to her and she walked into them. “I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t know where else to go. I came here. Did I wake you up?”

She lifted her head to look at me, “Not really. I didn’t sleep well last night. I kept having dreams of running through the woods and looking for something. I don’t know what it was, but I was so scared that I’d lost it.”

I poured her a cup of coffee and we went to sit in the living room. I sprawled out on the sofa and she curled into me, watching the horizon just start to get light. I don’t know what happened because the next thing I knew Mama was waking me up.

“Bowie, it’s seven o’clock.” I opened my eyes to find Ana covering me like a blanket.

“I’m sorry, Mama.”

“For what, son? For falling asleep? There’s no crime in that. I’ve made some breakfast for you if you want to eat before you head to work.”