Keep From Falling (Markson Grove Series Book 1) (30 page)

Parker doesn’t hesitate to take this moment to jump to his feet and hurl himself on top of
The Assassin
, kneeing him in the ribs over and over again.
The Assassin
attempts to get to his feet by giving his back to Parker, but Parker takes this opportunity to wrap his right arm around Assassin’s neck and tighten it somehow with his other arm. He pulls back so hard that he’s nearly lying on the floor.
The Assassin
flails for a moment, trying to get out of Parker’s chokehold but is unsuccessful. His face turns red, and then a few seconds later his body goes limp. The mediator stops the fight and Parker jumps to his feet with both hands held up in the air victoriously.

The horn sounds and cheers erupt all around me as the mediator takes Parker’s arm and lifts it into the air, letting everyone know that he has won the battle by submission.

I scream excitedly, jumping up and down. I’m relieved that it’s over, but I’m happy that he did so well. I turn to Spencer and he has a satisfied smirk etched across his face. “How much did you win from that?” I ask.

“Two thousand,” he replies and my mouth drops open.

“Seriously?”

Spencer laughs. “Yep!”

I shake my head in disbelief and turn back to the fighting circle.
The Assassin
is waking up with a small crowd gathered around him. Parker is taking a very big gulp from his water bottle as Tris and a few others pat him on the back. He’s only a few feet away from me now. He glances in my direction, our eyes meet, and his gaze takes my breath away. His lips part into a sly, sexy smile. I smile back just as sly and sexy… hopefully.

He motions for me to come over to him with his index finger, bending it slowly and deliberately toward himself. The gesture is incredibly sexy to me for some reason, and my entire body reacts to it. I can feel all heads turn in my direction wanting to see who he’s motioning to join him.

I look to Spencer and he frowns, “I don’t know about that,” he contends, knowing by the look on my face that I’m considering running over there.

If I would be sober right now, I probably would decide against it and stay put. But because my inhibitions are severely lacking at the moment, I take off from Spencer’s side and run into Parker’s arms. He lifts me up, cupping both of his hands on both of my ass cheeks, as I simultaneously wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.

“Hey you,” I say, my lips only an eighth of an inch away from his. Maybe less.

He grins. “Hey you,” he says back, sexy and confident. I want to melt. I plant my lips onto his firmly.

The crowd around us whoops and hollers. Some vulgar remarks are yelled while others toss condoms our way. I throw my head back and laugh.

That’s when I see the look on Spencer’s face. It’s a mixture of worry and regret. He takes a step toward us, seems to rethink it, and then moves back to where he is standing. I see Mark’s sister say something to him and Spencer’s response is a sad shake of his head followed by a casual shrug.

Choosing to ignore Spencer’s uneasiness, I turn back to Parker and bring my lips to his ear. “Take me to your room,” I say breathlessly.

Parker’s lips curl into a small smile. He kisses me with purpose then brings his lips to my ear, letting them graze over it. His breath tickles my earlobe and I can feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. “I’d love to,” he replies and I can’t help but swoon at the gentleness in his voice right now in contrast to the aggressive fight I’d just witnessed him participate in only minutes earlier.

Every part of my body wants him right now, and for the first time since he’s re-entered my life, I can let that happen.

Bree

This is really happening to me. We are going to have sex. Evan and I are going to do something beyond making out and I’m scared and excited in equal measure.

I want this, I really do, but I don’t know what to expect. I know it might hurt for the first time and that really worries me. I don’t understand why something that’s supposed to be so beautiful and loving has to be so painful too. Skylar once told me it only hurts at first and then everything just goes numb. I hope she’s right.

My heart suddenly hurts again as I am reminded that Skylar is no longer that friend who once taught me about boys and sex. She’s just my past now… because of me.

“Are you sure?” Evan asks tentatively, breaking into my sad thoughts. He lowers his naked body onto mine, draping his soft bed-comforter over top of us. I take in the warmth of his body and breathe in the smell of his skin. He smells like a man. There is no feminine sweetness or sugary scent to him like there is with Skylar. He smells like Axe body spray and something else so wonderfully sexual that I can’t even place it.

“You smell amazing,” I say, and he smiles that shy half-smile of his. I can tell that he’s very nervous which I don’t really understand because I know he’s done this before.

He reaches into the drawer of his nightstand and I hear the sound of a foil packet being ripped open. He sits up, fumbles with it for only a moment, before lowering himself back onto me.

I take a calming breath.

“How do you want me to start?” he asks, and I can’t help but giggle at the question. He smiles, happy to break away from the seriousness of the situation.

“You’ve done this before, not me,” I point out.

“I’ve never done this with anyone who’s never done it. I’m scared to hurt you.”

“How about we don’t worry about it. Let’s do what we do every other time we’ve ever been together, only this time it ends with fucking.”

Evan throws his head back and laughs. “Wow, what a subtle lady I have!” he says teasingly.

I’m glad that we can joke this way. It feels comfortable.

“I try,” I say, as I run my hands over his naked chest, arms, and back. I see him biting down on his lip the minute my hands begin to explore his bare skin. I wonder if he’s worried that he might ‘go’ too soon.

He slowly slides his hand down my stomach, passing my belly button and then going lower and lower till I can feel his hand gently part my legs. He begins to rub me in my most sensitive area and I immediately gasp with excitement. For some reason, I didn’t expect him to touch me this way. This is what I do with Skylar, it’s not what I figured a guy would do when he has permission to do so much more.

I arch my back, silently pleading for him to continue rubbing me there. I moan loudly and as soon as I do, he slams his lips onto mine and holds my body so close to his that I can’t help but tremble.

He explores my naked body with his other hand, tracing his fingers around the nipples of my breasts, then up along my neck, finally resting in my hair. He grabs a handful of it as he continues to kiss me passionately, all the while allowing his other hand to continue pleasuring me down there.

After a while, his lips lower onto one of my breasts and his mouth sucks my nipple softly. I shudder, wanting to explode in delight. He’s doing everything I’m already so comfortable and familiar with. Is this on purpose?

Whether it’s intentional or not, I’m feeling very relaxed and comfortable now. I’m not worried about him entering me anymore. My entire focus is only on how good he’s making me feel. Is this something he’s doing for my benefit, to make me feel more relaxed about him entering me? Or is this something guys always do before making love to a girl? I admit, I have no clue. The only thing I know about guys and sex are the things Skylar’s told me, and the guys she’s told me about didn’t seem to care about her comfort, that’s for sure.

Evan removes his finger and I can feel his hardness rubbing against my most sensitive spot instead. It’s right there, rubbing me back and forth continuing my pleasure, continuing to make me so aroused that I can’t possibly contain it much longer.

“I’m ready,” I gasp.

He nods, taking hold of my hips with both of his hands. After he readjusts himself so that he’s lined up with me, he moves inside me gently.

I bite down on my lip hard and squeeze his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin. It hurts. It stings and aches and I don’t like how it feels at all!

He stops abruptly, his lust filled gaze turning into one of worry. “Do you want me to stop?” he asks, seeing how the pain is affecting me. I know he doesn’t want to, but I can tell that he’s sincere with his offer. He doesn’t want this to hurt me and the fact that it does bothers him.

I shake my head and squeeze my eyes shut for a moment. When I reopen them, I see Evan wincing at my apparent discomfort. He pulls himself out of me and gently lowers his body on top of mine. “I’m hurting you,” he says in a whisper.

“No.” I shake my head, “It’s ok. Don’t think about it, just do it,” I tell him. I want him to keep going. I need him to keep going. I need to be able to do this and like it. I want to reach a place where it feels right.

He frowns. “We don’t have to do this today, Bree. There’s no rush. Don’t think that I expect this from you, because I don’t. I never would,” he tells me gently, being the loving and supportive guy I just can’t get enough of.

“I know. I want to do this,” I reply, honestly.

He sighs. “Are you sure?” he asks again, really wanting to be certain that this is what I want. I can tell that watching me in pain doesn’t make this a pleasurable experience for him.

“I’m sure.”

After a few more minutes of me re-convincing him over and over that I want him to keep going, he finally agrees to try again.

He lifts himself up on his knees, takes in a few steady breaths, and then thrusts himself into me. Hard.

I gasp, quickly covering my mouth with my hand so that his mom and sister don’t hear me cry out. I close my eyes tight, attempting to hide the appearance of feeling pain. But I’m sore, and feeling so full of pressure deep inside of me. I don’t know the differences in sizes for guys, but judging by how much my insides ache right now, I’d say he’s bigger than average.

I feel the outside of his naked body pressed right to mine now and I know that he’s all the way inside of me. I let out a shaky, but relieved sigh, the pain is quickly subsiding.

He lowers himself down onto me like a blanket once again, caressing my shoulders, my breasts, and my face. He kisses my forehead, my cheeks, and my nose so lovingly that I want to cry. He touches me anywhere and everywhere, not hesitating to kiss me with need, want, and excitement; not hesitating to show me how much he cares.

“Are you ok?” he asks in a husky whisper, pulling his lips from mine for the first time in minutes. I nod and kiss him back, attempting to show him that the rest of this will be pleasurable for the both of us. Even if I’m not convinced, I want him to be.

I place my hands on either side of his hips encouraging him to begin moving in his sexual rhythm. My touch excites him more than I’d anticipated, though, and he eagerly, without thinking, begins to move a bit too fast. I feel a sudden sharp pain and I unintentionally gasp, but the sound comes out so erotic that it doesn’t end up ruining the moment, instead, it intensifies it. He moves even more quickly, finally feeling completely comfortable with this, now that I’m seemingly becoming aroused by his thrusts. “Oh my God!” I gasp for breath. The discomfort is undeniable. Even though the pain is mostly all gone now, the burning and aching I feel makes it nearly impossible to enjoy the moment.

Seeming to sense my uneasiness, he reaches down between us to rub me some more. He’s trying to relieve the tension and help me enjoy our moment. He’s doing everything he can do to make me as comfortable as possible and it’s not going unnoticed.

The minute his finger begins to do circles down there, I forget all about the burning and aching inside of me. I forget there is even anything inside of me at all. All I focus on is the climax approaching, and the heat coursing through me as I begin to reach my pique.

“Don’t stop,” I moan, knowing that my orgasm is only moments away.

He begins to thrust into me faster and harder as he continues to rub me. My back arches, I reach for his blanket and place it over my mouth so that I don’t scream out.

Moments later, he stops moving inside of me and groans, reaching his climax as well. He drops down on top of me, removing himself from inside of me and resting his head on my breasts as his panting breaths begin to calm.

I struggle for breath as well, running my fingers gently through his hair, feeling the ecstasy slowly dissipating.

As it does, and I begin to come down from cloud nine, I’m suddenly filled with a deep sense of foreboding. I’m devastated to realize that, now that the lust has cleared away from the both of us and we are able to contemplate what we’ve just done, I’m harboring ridiculous feelings of confusion and uncertainty.

I’m regretful of what I just did!

Why am I feeling this way? I wanted this. I wanted this moment with him. And it was perfect;
he
was perfect. So why is it that am I feeling so confused about it now? Is it because of everything that happened with Skylar tonight? Am I too damaged by our falling out to allow myself to truly enjoy this moment? I can’t be sure what the reason is, the only thing I know for sure is that he treated me good, he made me feel comforted and loved, and yet, something still doesn’t feel right.