Katie's Dream (5 page)

By the time I got back upstairs, Robert had come in from the barn. Samuel sent him to bed too. He didn't seem to want the kids around Edward, and I couldn't blame him, the way that man talked.

“Julia, you are a sight to behold,” Edward said when I was cracking the eggs. “Mother said you were something to look at, and she was right.”

Samuel was sitting at the table now with the little girl beside him. I saw how he tensed hearing a remark like that, but I didn't say anything. And I wondered if Samuel would get any sleep tonight with his brother around.

I served the little girl first. But she looked from Edward to Samuel and then back again without touching her food.

“You can have all you want,” Samuel told her. “I expect you're hungry from the trip, right?”

“Go ahead and eat,” Edward added. “It's his house. You're not in my hands anymore.”

Katie ate quickly, neatly, watching us all the while. I gave her more applesauce when she got the first of it done, and she ate that too. Edward had six eggs, three cups of coffee, and all the bread that was left. When he was done, he sat back, folded his arms, and stared at Samuel.

“So, brother—what do you want me to do? I appreciate the food. But if you don't want nothing more to do with me, I can head on. As for this girl, if you don't claim her, well, I guess I'll take her too.”

“No. You're not taking her anywhere till I know more about this.”

“You
are
claiming her, then?” he said with a smile.

“I didn't say that. But I'm not sending her anywhere with a jackal like you. I want you to tell me the truth.”

I was surprised at Samuel's words, his tone. But even more surprised by Edward's answer.

“You can call me whatever you want, little brother. But you heard the truth, as sure as I'm alive. You can imagine what a shock it was when that beauty in the speakeasy got upset over me being a Wortham. Then she told me you were the father. I wouldn't have thought. But don't worry. I didn't tell Mother. She still thinks you're a saint.”

“I don't know anyone named Trudy Vale,” Samuel said sternly. “I don't know what this is about, but it's foolishness, and it won't gain you anything.”

“Then I guess maybe we better go. I didn't expect you to own to it. Trouble is, what do I do with the kid, Samuel? She thinks she's yours. And I've got no way of finding her mama now, not that she'd want to be found. She said it was your turn. She couldn't keep her no more and travel. I was just doing her a favor, you understand?”

“No. I don't understand.” Samuel looked truly hurt. “I don't know why you'd come all the way out here or where you got this innocent kid or why you're doing this. Is it that important to you to cause trouble now that you're out? You couldn't just settle down somewhere, look for work, and be a good citizen for a change?”

Edward rose to his feet. “Sammy, you're a devil of a liar. But you got some heart about you at least. You don't want me to take her. You want to know she's cared for, don't you?”

Quiet tears were spilling down the little girl's cheeks, and I felt sorry she'd had to hear all this. What had she already been through?

Samuel got up too, and he and his brother went outside. I was afraid, lest they might actually come to blows, though such a thing wouldn't be like Samuel at all. I didn't follow them out. Whatever else was said, I didn't want this little girl to hear.

“Have you had enough to eat?” I asked her.

She nodded, just a little, biting down on her lower lip. “Do you want me to go away?”

“No, honey. Not till we know where your family is or what's the best thing to do. You shouldn't go with Edward. You don't want to, do you?”

She shook her head, and I decided she was old enough to tell me at least some things.

“Was he mean?”

“A little.”

“Is Trudy Vale really your mother's name?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Do you know where she is?”

“I ain't seen her since Albany, like Mr. Eddie said.” Two giant tears spilled down her cheeks. Big dark eyes. Narrow face. Dark hair. Edward's words stirred a chill in me.
“Look at her, Samuel. She look like anybody you know?”

A stranger might have thought she was Samuel's. A stranger might have been willing to believe Edward's story. And I might have thought the girl was Edward's own child, if he hadn't been incarcerated back then. Of course, Edward's face and coloring was like their mother's. Except for his build, he didn't look much like Samuel at all. And, oh God, what were we to do with this child now?

I hugged her, and she cried in my arms.

“Are you tired, sweetie?”

She shook her head.

“You're welcome to stay the night, and as long as necessary to settle this. We can get some help maybe from the sheriff in town. He'll know what to do to find your family.”

She shook her head, looking up at me with those deep eyes. “I want to stay here. With my daddy. Please?”

I couldn't answer her. I heard the sound of Edward's car starting and then driving away. Samuel came in and just stood for a moment in the doorway. Finally he sat in the chair beside me. “He just left. Maybe I should have tried to keep him.”

“Why?”

“We'll need the truth, if we can get it out of him. Ben Law will have some questions.”

Ben Law, the sheriff. An apt name. Samuel was thinking like I was. Somebody would have to find this child's family.

He took my hand. “What my brother said, Juli, it's not so.”

“I know that.”

He sighed. “I just thought it wouldn't hurt, to say it plain.” He reached for Katie's hand too. “I'm sorry. For all that's happened. Are you all right?”

She nodded, staring up into his face. Lord, how she looked like him! Did Samuel see it too?

His dark eyes were stormy. “I need to know,” he asked her softly. “Did he hurt you?”

“Not so much.”

I could see Samuel tighten. “What do you mean?”

“Mostly he just talks and yells a lot. He didn't hit me but once.”

Samuel hung his head. “Where'd he find you? Where's your family?”

“I don't know where Mama went. She told me to be good. And I been trying.”

“You're being very brave.” He stopped, turning his eyes to me. “What are we going to do now, Juli?”

I had to sigh. “It's too late to do anything more tonight. The kind thing would be to let her rest.” I wanted to tell him that she believed Edward's lie. But I didn't.

“You're right.” He looked at Katie again. “The kids are in the beds upstairs, but you can have ours. Okay? We can talk some more in the morning.”

“I . . . I always sleep on the floor.”

“You don't have to here.”

She was quiet for a moment. “Is Mr. Eddie coming back?”

“I don't know.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “Did he leave my bag?”

Samuel shook his head.

“My dollies—” She suddenly broke down in front of us.

“Oh, honey.” I held her tight, trying to console her.

“There was . . . there was three of 'em . . . a mommy and a daddy and a little girl.” She sniffed. “I cut a magazine . . .”

“Paper dolls? Those are special.” I petted her hair a little, and she cuddled against me. And then I had an idea. “Would it help you feel better if I showed you something else that's special?”

She gave me a tearful little nod. Here she was among strangers, without anything familiar. Maybe my small gift could help just a little.

“Samuel, you know that box on the closet shelf?”

“The Christmas things?”

“Yes.”

He got it for me, and I pulled out the little yarn dolls that our pastor's wife had made for us to hang on the tree. Rorey and Sarah still got them out to play with sometimes. I was hoping just having something to hold would help put this child at ease. “You can touch,” I told her. “Pick out a few to sleep with, if you want.”

“Really?” She looked frightened.

“Yes.”

She picked out three. Two of the biggest and one of the smallest. “They're a real family,” she said, looking at Samuel.

“Let's take them on to bed,” I said before he had a chance to answer. I led her by the hand to our bed and turned down the covers. Samuel followed and lit the candle on the top of the dresser.

I helped her under the top sheet and rolled the blanket out of the way as Samuel opened the window to let in a little breeze. Katie lay her head back against the pillow
with the yarn dolls clenched together in one fist. Still she was looking at Samuel.

Maybe he had relatives he didn't know about. Maybe one of them had fathered this child. What else could account for the resemblance?

“Katie—is that really your name?”

She nodded. I smoothed her hair and leaned and kissed her forehead. “Sleep well,” I whispered.

She turned her eyes to me and gave just a little smile. “I thought you'd be mad. Mr. Eddie said you'd be real mad.”

“He doesn't know me. This is the first time we've met.”

Samuel went quietly out. And I stood up, about to go too, when little Katie called me. “Mrs. Wortham, I wish you was my mom. Then we could be a real family, right?”

I didn't know how to answer her. I wanted to say that she must have a real family somewhere waiting for her, wanting her. But what if it wasn't so? What would tomorrow hold for her?

“Mrs. Wortham . . .”

She looked so scared, lying there alone. I was certain that in her shoes I would have been scared too. “Would you like me to sing you a song?”

Her eyes opened wider. “Would you? Really? Mama doesn't sing to me. She's always too tired.”

I hadn't thought. Her mother was a singer, so maybe singing to Katie was exactly the wrong thing to do. She shouldn't be thinking of me as a mother figure. She surely wouldn't be here very long. But I'd have to sing now, like it or not, because I'd offered. I took a deep breath. “Well, if you want me to sing for you, you have to close your eyes.”

She did. And I sang the sleepy song, followed by a church hymn and then a lullaby that Grandma Pearl had taught me long ago. By that time, Katie was completely
still, exhausted surely, and hopefully out for the rest of the night. I sat there for a moment on the edge of her bed, wondering where Samuel had gone so quietly. He was understandably troubled by his brother's sudden appearance. And the accusation.

I thought of the summer before we'd married, when we'd sat down to talk about our pasts and our future together. “I've only lied to you once,” he'd confessed to me then. And I forgave him immediately, because the lie he'd told me was that he'd never known his father. “I didn't want you to know what I came from,” he'd said. “I didn't want you to think I could ever be that way.”

Violent. Irresponsible. Samuel's father had been that and much more. And his mother was a very difficult woman. Edward was like them, maybe. But not Samuel. Samuel was a tenderhearted, gentle, hardworking man. What must he be feeling about all this? Did he wonder if I would doubt him?

I rose up quietly, leaving the candle burning just a little while, in case the girl woke up and felt anxious in this strange place. I tiptoed upstairs to check on the children and found them sleeping quietly, Sarah sprawled sideways across her bed and Robert all curled up the way he'd slept since he was a baby. What would it be like in the morning when they came down to find this strange child here? How would Katie feel? Maybe having a little girl so close to her size to play with would make her want to stay that much more.

Going down the stairs, I sighed. Katie wouldn't want to leave anyway. If we were in a smelly old shack without another soul to play with, she would still want to stay. Because of Samuel most of all. What were we to do?

Dirty dishes were waiting in the kitchen, and ordinarily I would have done them just to have them out of the way before the morning's bustle. But this time I left them in the dishpan and stepped outside. Whiskers met me on the
porch, and my eyes searched the dark yard for Samuel. Finally I saw him behind the apple tree, just standing. I went to him slowly, not wanting to interrupt if he were praying. But I needed a hug. Surely he would too. I put my hand on his shoulder, and he drew me into his arms.

“Is she sleeping?”

“Yes.”

He held me for a moment in the quiet, struggling, it seemed, for the right words. “Juli, I'm sorry . . .”

I felt a sudden stir inside. What if it were true? But no, I would not entertain such a thought. Not about Samuel.

“I had no idea he was out. Or that he'd do something like this—”

“It's all right.”

“No. It isn't. She's just a little girl. Can you imagine how scared she must have been, traveling for miles with a stranger? And Edward, as coarse as he is! How could he hit her? And what do we do? If it's true, that her mother didn't want to keep her—”

“We can't be sure of anything right now.”

“I know. But she must have family somewhere.” He grew quiet. “Juli, when he got in the car, he swore he was telling the truth. I don't know what to think. I've seen his lies plenty of times, but he's gotten better at it. I don't know what he's trying to do. Turn you away from me, maybe.”

“Honey, maybe it's a different Wortham. Maybe a relative, even, that you didn't know about. He might just be mistaken—”

“Then why is he enjoying this so much?”

I had no answer.

“Sometimes I think you're the lucky one, Juli.” He sighed. “All your family is dead. And they left you with fond memories—” His voice broke.

“Sammy . . .”

He sunk down to the grass, and I held him. I wasn't sure what was happening. I'd never seen him like this.