Kade's Rescue (Detroit Heat Book 1) (11 page)

We sat across from each other on the picnic table. I wanted to look past her as I spoke, but I knew that I couldn’t treat Layne like I treated the psychiatrist. It was hard, but I kept my eyes on her.

“There was a fire in May. I was inside doing a search and found two small kids. The house was going up quick and I tried to get them out, but I ended up falling through the second-story floor. They both died, and I got this.”

For the first time, I pulled down the Under Armour high-neck I’d thrown on in the engine after my shower. I had tried so hard to keep Layne from seeing the scar even in bed. I tried to keep
everyone
from seeing it, but she needed to. It was a part of me, a constant reminder tattooed into my flesh. We’d made love in near darkness because of it.

I rolled the neckline down, feeling my heavy pulse in my jugular as I did. Layne’s expression changed, but not how most people’s did. I saw understanding in her eyes. A single tear dripped down her cheek. I leaned across with a free hand and brushed it from her soft skin with my thumb. Layne reached up and took my hand.

“His name was Marco. He was four years old. He had a sister named LaTonya who was six. I went to their funerals and met their family. It was heartbreaking to hear them thank me. Thank me for what? I hadn’t saved those kids. I felt like a failure, Layne.” She squeezed my hand.

“My sleep started getting worse and worse. My work started suffering, and not too long ago, my partner, Rico, fell from a third-story landing and ended up in the hospital.”

“Oh my God, Kade.”

I shook it off. “Detroit Fire forced me to take two weeks off to recuperate. After what happened in May, I had to start seeing a shrink, and then the incident with Rico meant they couldn’t take a chance on me.”

“That’s awful.” I didn’t know what Layne was referring to as awful. She might have explained, but I stopped her.

“But you did.
You
took a chance on me. I know you didn’t know how broken I was inside. Hell,
I
didn’t know how broken I was. When that waiter said his name was Marco, something snapped. I had a panic attack and ran. It was the coward’s way out, but I couldn’t explain it to you in the state of mind I was in.”

For a while, Layne just looked at me, squeezing my hand. My mind raced. She might have just been feeling pity, which was no good. She’d feel sorry for me, see me as a wounded puppy, and lose the idea that I was anything but broken.

“You were going to tell me this on our first date, weren’t you?”

I nodded. “I was. You made it really easy to open up.”

She pulled away. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry, I totally screwed it up!”

“No, Layne.” I chuckled and pulled her back to the picnic table. “You were perfect. In that moment, everything was perfect. Neither of us knew what was going to happen. I just… I just want another chance. With everything out in the open.”

“You know why I came back?”

I didn’t. “Why?”

Layne tilted her head back toward the station, her curls bouncing behind her shoulders. “Your crew came to volunteer at Helping Hands last weekend. Eight guys came, and all eight of them came up to me at some point to tell me about you. They told me about how strong, kind, and how brave you are.”

I shook my head. “I’m brave when it comes to fire. Flames have swallowed me up more times than I can count, but when it comes to you, I’m a wreck.”

Layne smiled. “Kade, life gets messy, but you left me completely in the dark.”

“I know I did, and it tore me apart. It’s still tearing me apart. I understand if this isn’t enough, or if I’ve damaged things beyond repair. I appreciate you giving in to the guys, though.” I thought that was it. I had done my best, but I didn’t see much for me in her eyes.

I stood up to walk back to the station, but Layne still had a grip on my hand. I turned back to her. There was a smile on her face as she stood.

“Kiss me.”

Despite being a little surprised, I obliged. She had her hands at my neck, pulling me down to meet her. Her kiss was so freeing, as if all the pain I’d been carrying had suddenly been lifted right off me. I wrapped an arm around her, pulling the gorgeous woman against me. My heart started racing all over again.

When she broke the kiss, she took my face in her hands. “You’re not forgiven, but you are back in my good graces.”

“That’s a hell of a start,” I said, kissing her neck.

She laughed, shaking her head. “Firefighters. They think they’re so tough until you ask them about their feelings.”

In my head, there was only one feeling; only one thing I wanted to say to her. It was so simple, yet so powerful. I wanted to blurt those words out, but that wall was still up. It was insulating me from myself and from her. My mouth ran dry.

“Layne, I… I…”

That was when the tones for my station dropped.

I jumped at the sound. Past Kade, a voice came from somewhere inside the fire station. I wasn’t used to hearing that shrill warble coming out of any building, but I guessed it made sense. Firefighters—any time, any place.

He turned to me and I could see utter despair on his face. “Layne, I gotta run.”

My mouth dropped open. I knew he had to. I understood that. But I had a feeling Kade was about to tell me something very big. I could hear the apprehension in his voice. I thought I’d faint right up until the emergency call interrupted us.

I hung my head. “I know.”

Kade pulled me against him for one more hard kiss. It was passionate and powerful, like he took my breath with him when he pulled away. I could see in his eyes that it might be a last kiss. Was that what it meant to be a firefighter? That every goodbye, every kiss might be the last?

An SUV with red lights on top pulled to a stop, and I recognized the older firefighter from Helping Hands. “Kade, you feel like maybe getting your ass in gear? We got a fully involved house fire.”

Despite the lump rising in my throat, I pushed him away. “Go. Do your job,” I said with a smile on my face. Hearing Kade tell me about what was happening inside his head helped me understand him better. If I had known before, I might have been able to help him control his panic attack.

He started running back toward the front of the station. The older man, the one who had finally convinced me to talk to Kade, called out to me. “Want to see your man at work, Layne? Hop in.”

I stared at him. “Really?”

“Really, but you gotta get your ass in gear, too. We gotta roll.”

I let out a sound that was almost a squeal as I ran for the SUV. Kade whipped around the corner as I ran around to the passenger side.

“Seatbelts, please.” The older guy hit the gas and turned on a siren. I grabbed onto the door handle as he barreled through a stoplight without slowing down at all. I was diving headfirst into the world of firefighting, and it was terrifying.

I turned around to see a fire truck following us with an even louder siren. I knew Kade was on board. My heart raced and jolted adrenaline throughout my whole body.

I’d never driven through the streets of Detroit so fast. We were on small roads, but the driver, Clay, looked completely composed. A radio between our seats was blasting, but I could barely understand any of it.

We rounded a corner and I saw thick, black smoke rising. A few more corners and the smoke got closer and larger. Soon I could see the flames coming out of the top of a house.

Clay parked just past it and I turned around to see the engine parking in front. He got out and leaned into the window. “Stay in here. You’ll have a front row seat.”

I was going to say something, but Clay was already running back to the engine. I turned to watch what was going on. Men got out of the fire truck, but they were all wearing jackets, so I couldn’t pick Kade out. I counted five firefighters getting out of the truck.

One of them turned around, and I saw
MCCAFFERY
in thick letters at the bottom of his long coat. He was listening to Clay yelling orders. Kade turned to me for an instant, and I could see his smile. After that, he disappeared out of sight behind the fire truck.

When he reappeared, he had a mask on and another firefighter was beside him.
SWAIN
, his jacket read. They both had air packs on and my guts twisted when I saw that they were walking straight toward the burning building. They didn’t have hoses or anything.
 
It was hell to see them walking toward that danger while I was safe and sound in the SUV.

I could see smoke forcing its way out of the front door. I gripped the handle harder than ever when I saw Kade throw a foot against it. It broke open and flames rushed out from inside. Kade and his partner dropped to their knees. I was transfixed.

My heart was in my throat as I watched them disappear into the burning building. Flames shot through the roof and I could feel the heat of the fire reaching me. I wanted to scream out to them for going against all human instinct. The roar of the fire was terrifying, and I really couldn’t comprehend how anyone could do that job.

It seemed like hours before they even started spraying water on the fire. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the front door, and I cried out when I saw someone coming through the thick smoke and flames. It was either Kade or his partner, and he was carrying someone. The other firefighter was right behind him.

They laid the person down in the front yard and I saw the firefighter tear off his mask and helmet. It was Kade. He didn’t waste a second starting CPR on the person. Seeing him in his element like that was so powerful. I couldn’t take it. I wanted him so badly in that moment.

Other guys from his truck ran after him, carrying hoses. They began to spray water into the busted windows on the front of the house. He didn’t even seem to notice. Kade and his partner kept trying to resuscitate the victim. I saw EMTs pulling a stretcher behind them. They moved the unconscious victim onto it and Kade climbed on too, straddling the unconscious person. He never stopped doing compressions, even as he was wheeled back toward an ambulance. I spun around, watching him as they carried him out of my view.

It seemed like in just an instant, the fire had been put out. The house was still smoking, but there were no more flames shooting out of the roof or door. The smoke wasn’t as dark, either. It had turned into more of a light gray than the impenetrable black it had been at the beginning.

I was mesmerized by how quickly they worked. I didn’t know how long Kade and his partner were inside the house. It seemed like hours because I was worried beyond belief, but it was probably only two or three minutes. Two minutes after that, the fire was out.

Clay was running around, still barking orders at his men. He wandered back to the SUV finally. “You doing all right, Layne?”

I nodded, totally enthralled by all the action going on around me.

“Good.” He looked back at the house. “We’ve got the fire under control, so it’ll probably be about an hour and then we’ll be outta here.”
 

He started to walk away, but I called to him through the window. “What about Kade?”

He turned around. “The hero is en route to the hospital. CPR all the way. He’ll be back at the station before we are.”

I sat back in the passenger seat of the SUV. I couldn’t wrap my head around it all. I thought Kade was sexy before I found out he was a firefighter. I thought he was sexier when he told me. Seeing him in action was crazy, though. I wanted him so badly right then and there.

Clay was right on the money. An hour later, he and I were heading back to the fire station. He smiled at me. “Glad you decided to talk to him. He’s a hell of a guy, but he’s shit with women.”

I shrugged. I was willing to give him a chance, but this didn’t completely put Kade in the clear. “We talked it out. I guess it was just a big miscommunication.
Big
miscommunication.”

“Communication is the downfall of any organization. That’s a saying in the fire service. I guess it applies to relationships, too. He’s got a diamond-hard exterior. In this business, that’s a good thing, but I can also see that it’s trouble when it comes to having a partner.” He stared ahead at the road for a while, then lifted his shoulders. “I don’t know.”