Justice Reborn (Cowboy Justice Association Book 8) (17 page)

That reminded him that he needed to call her and tell her to back the hell off. She’d crossed a line talking to Seth and she needed to understand his life decisions were not up for discussion just because they’d slept together for a few months.

“Then you became a sheriff.”

“And then I quit,” he completed the story. “I did that because once again it was expected of me. But I’m damn tired of doing what everyone else wants me to do. I want to do what I want to do. Does it make me sound weak that I spent all these years doing things for the wrong reasons?”

“No, not at all.” Josie shook her head, her green eyes soft in the dim lighting. “You weren’t miserable and there were aspects of the job you enjoyed. I’m betting there are many people doing jobs they absolutely hate for worse reasons. I’m kind of in the same boat. I grew to hate design because it was so competitive and catty. Very dog eat dog. My waitress job sucked too. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be when I’m grown up, to be frank. So I’m not much different than you, Evan. My big fear right now is that I won’t get a chance to make any changes to my life. That I’ll end up in prison or dead first.”

“I’m not going to let that happen,” Evan declared, reaching across the table to grab her hand with his. “Believe me when I say that because I mean it.”

She placed her fork on the edge of her plate, her hand shaking. “I’m dragging you back into a life you didn’t want anymore. You don’t want to be a cop, remember? Now you’re in a position where you have to protect me. Don’t you resent me for that? Just a little?”

“Not a bit,” he replied quickly because it was true. “I won’t lie that I’m not conflicted slightly but the one thing I know, honey, is that I was a good cop. I can protect you. I know what to do to make sure you’re safe and I’d be a piss poor human being if I didn’t do it. Add in the fact that I think you’re amazing and wonderful and there’s no doubt that I’d take care of you. This doesn’t mean I have to be a marshal again, or a sheriff. This is not a permanent situation.”

“If you ever change your mind–”

“I won’t.”

“But you might–”

“Don’t even go there. Not going to happen.”

“You interrupt a lot.”

That made Evan smile. “It’s part of my charm. Now let’s get that waitress over here and order some dessert. I’m still hungry.”

“I want my own dessert.”

He’d known she would.

“I’m not surprised. Let’s decide what we’re going to order. I vote for the chocolate fudge cake and the bread pudding. We can share a little.”

He was fine as long as he didn’t have to make any decisions too far into the future. But he had figured out one thing and that was a step forward.

Evan wanted to be a man that Josie could respect and admire.

Maybe even love.

Chapter Eighteen

T
he wine had done its job.

Josie was relaxed and serene as they entered the house after driving back from dinner. All in all it had been a wonderful evening. She’d learned so much about Evan and it only made her care about him more than she already did. The one thing she hated was that her situation was forcing him into a role he’d been happy to leave behind.

All the way home, the awareness between them had built to a frightening level, punctuated by little glances and touches. A hand on her thigh, her fingers stroking his arm. Her body was hyper-aware of his as he closed the front door behind him, leaving them alone in their private world. They’d created a cocoon of sorts, free from worrying about prison or rogue killers. It was as if they were the only two people in the world.

If only they could stay that way forever.

They had tonight.

If she were being completely honest, Josie didn’t know where they’d be days or weeks from now. While Evan swore he could protect her, the fact was he was one man against many. There were no guarantees of a tomorrow. No one had any, although until now she’d carried the illusion that the future was a sure thing.

Evan said he wanted to do what he wanted to, not what was expected of him. She did too.

He would expect her to climb the stairs, slip into her pajamas, and go to sleep. But in her mind she’d already crossed over that line, the one keeping them strictly friends. She wanted to be with him and he’d left no doubt that he felt the same. What was she waiting for?

For him to make the first move, that was what.

It wasn’t in her nature to be the aggressor in a relationship, especially when it came to sex. The fear of rejection along with that nagging little voice in the back of her head that said good girls don’t initiate lovemaking were both powerful forces and she found herself simply standing in the middle of the living room as he snapped on the lights one by one, illuminating the darkened space.

“I don’t have a television or anything.” Evan grimaced as he dropped his keys into the bowl on the table by the door. “It’s still early but if you want to go to bed that’s fine. I’m sure you’re tired after the long day. I just need to get something out of my room and it’s all yours.”

That was one thing that needed fixing. It wasn’t right that she’d kicked him out of his own bedroom. The camp bed he was sleeping on in the living room was too short and uncomfortable for a grown man to get a good night’s sleep.

“About that,” Josie began, her fingers twisting in the straps of her backpack. “I can’t in good conscious take over your bedroom. It’s your house and you worked just as hard as I did today. You just did it better because you’re in good shape and I’m a blob that sits on the couch most of the time.”

That scowl she knew so well was currently directed right at her but she stood her ground.

“It’s no hardship, honey. I’ve slept on the cold dirt many times so having any sort of bed is a plus in my book. While you’re here for me to protect, you’ll sleep in the bed.”

Scraping up every bit of courage she could muster, she took a deep breath and plunged in. “It’s king size. There’s plenty of room for both of us.”

If she thought she was going to shock Evan Davis she was sorely mistaken. Instead of his mouth falling open, his lips curved into a smile. A smile that could only be described as wolfish and seductive. Heat curled in her belly in response and she had to remind herself to breathe even as her pulse began to pound in her ears.

“Well, you do have a point there,” he drawled, looking quite pleased with himself. “The bed is very large and you’re just a tiny scrap of a thing. You can’t take up much space.”

She liked to sprawl in the middle of the mattress, arms and legs flung to each corner but she wasn’t about to admit that to him at this moment. Nor did she want to point out that no one in her life ever had described her as
bitty
or a
scrap
. She had heard the words curvy and zaftig. In other words, she had some junk in the trunk.

“So…if you want to share, I’m fine with it.”

Whirling on her heel she didn’t wait for him to respond, instead flying up the staircase, paying no attention to her sore bones and muscles that screamed in rabid protest. Quickly she stripped out of her clothes and into a pair of pajama shorts and a t-shirt. She slipped between the sheets and resolutely squeezed her eyes shut, covers to her chin, while her heart pounded waiting for him to join her. Or not.

He didn’t make her wait long. The door opened slowly, creaking on its ancient hinges, and she let her lids flutter open to watch his deft fingers working on the buttons of his shirt. He didn’t say a word or make eye contact as he shrugged out of his shirt, jeans, and socks, leaving on a pair of dark blue boxer shorts.

Josie had to grit her teeth to keep from making a noise as she surveyed every inch of exposed flesh on display. Evan was in amazing shape and had nothing to be ashamed of. She allowed her gaze to caress his wide shoulders, flat abdomen, and powerful thighs, skipping over the more intimate bulge between his legs.

I won’t look. I won’t look. I won’t– Oops! I looked.

Swallowing hard, she realized she was panting and probably drooling down her chin as if she hadn’t seen a half-naked man in decades. He was no more bare than if they’d gone to the beach but the mere sight of his gorgeous body had worked her up into a rare lather. Her arousal was humming and he hadn’t even touched her and she didn’t have any idea if he intended to. He might lie next to her and fall asleep, leaving her awake and aching.

Cruel bastard.

Josie felt the bed move and the blanket pull back so that Evan could get in beside her. He kept his distance, however, respecting her personal space. She reached up to snap off the bedside light, bathing them in moonlight from the windows.

Trying to scrunch into the smallest ball possible at the very edge of the bed, Josie turned her back to Evan and tried to relax enough to fall asleep. What a joke. There was no way she was going to simply drift off to sleep easily when Evan’s fine self was lying only a foot away.

“Josie, if you’re not okay with this, I can go downstairs and sleep in the living room.”

“No!” Forcefully relaxing her rigid spine, she turned so she was facing him, his body half illuminated but his expression shrouded in shadow. “No, please don’t. It’s–it’s just been a long time since I’ve shared a bed with anyone. Now that you’re here I’m wondering if maybe I snore.”

His shoulders moved in a shrug and a soft chuckle escaped from his lips. “That wouldn’t bother me. I snore too.”

“You never said that,” she accused playfully, her palm pushing at his chest and finding bare skin over hard muscle. She froze, her fingers still pressed against his warm flesh, her teasing words dying as heat spread from her hand all the way to her toes. He felt wonderful and she wanted to continue her exploration of his body.

But she was a big chicken that wasn’t going to do anything. A coward. A fraidy-cat.

Whatever one wanted to call her she’d willingly accept the title. She was terrified that her advances would be rejected despite Evan’s copious hints that he was completely on board with the idea of them being together. After all, he might have changed his mind somewhere between the drive home and the climb up the stairs. Maybe he’d decided she was too much trouble or he was too exhausted.

A wave of self-consciousness hit her hard and Josie had to fight the urge to sniff at her underarms.

He, on the other hand, smelled amazing. A little like body wash and a lot like warmth as if he was the softest, cuddliest blanket on a chilly, rain-soaked afternoon. He represented everything that was good and solid in her upside down, crazy world. She trusted him with everything she was.

She trusted him with her life. It didn’t seem much of a stretch to trust him with her body too. In fact, the more she pondered the point, the more it made sense. No man had ever taken care of her the way Evan had.

Flattening her palm against his chest, she allowed her fingers to run up and over his shoulders, down his arms, and then back up, only to travel down his torso and over his ridged abs, lingering at the waistband of his boxer shorts. Evan hadn’t remained still and silent during her sensual foray; he’d reached out his own hands and clamped them down on her hips, tugging her closer until her nose was pressed against the hollow of his neck.

His masculine scent flooded her senses and her suddenly heavy eyelids drifted closed as he captured her lips in a soul-searing kiss that seemed to reach down into the heart of her, letting thousands of butterflies free in her belly. Her heart raced and blood whipped through her veins as his lips explored her jaw, all the way to a sensitive spot behind her ear. She jerked and moaned as his teeth nipped at the flesh, drawing a chuckle of pure male satisfaction from him while his long fingers splayed out as if to claim as much territory for himself as he could.

“Are you sure, honey? We don’t have to do this.”

His voice was low and husky, like a glass of aged whiskey and a fine cigar. She didn’t answer for a moment, instead letting her hands reply by running up and down his chest, lingering on his flat nipples and pulling a tortured groan from somewhere deep inside of him.

“I think I do have to do this,” she finally answered. “If I stop now, I’d never forgive myself. I want this. You. But I’m nervous as hell. It’s been a long time since…”