Just to be Left Alone (20 page)

We
talked about it a bit and I gave her my opinion on the issues, without ratting
on Parker. We ended up laughing about it and I got off the line with her so I
could call Felicia.

Felicia
was sending out closing documents on a condo she was selling and had a minute
to talk. I went over the conversation with Chastity to her and she couldn’t
stop laughing.

“The
barracuda is caught in a net! I knew I would live to see this one day.”

“Yes,
she’s definitely caught and it is amazing to see this take place. I told her to
make it into a game and winning would be the motivation.”

Felicia
ended the phone call with laughter at the image it provided. I was glad to have
helped one friend and gave a reason to laugh to another.

Raven
was unpacking from her latest shoot and needed some serious sleep. I explained
both calls to her and she was very quietly laughing at both pieces of news.

“So,
how is it that you can help poor little Chastity, and yet you can’t help
yourself?” Raven asked.

I
was taken back by this and started stammering.

“Sweetheart,
you know I love you, but I still think you need a bit of Chaz in your daily
love diet. How long do you think you can hold on to Conrad when you can only
play slap and tickle? He’s going to get as bored with that as Parker would with
a controlling woman. You need to think of a little game for yourself and see
who really finishes first.”

“What
do you mean by that, exactly?”

 
“Don’t take it wrong. It’s just like you
telling Chaz to make it into a game of sorts. What do you have rolling with
Conrad, hun?”

That
was a good question and crazy how we could be so tuned into each other’s
relationships and still be clueless in our own.

“Okay,
spell it out for me.”

“You
have a great white knight that has saved you a couple of times, right? Well,
what if that’s the way he likes it, what will you do when you don’t need saving
anymore? Have you talked about any of this? Where is this relationship going?
Is he here for you or just a hunky rebound? You need to think this out and be
fair to yourselves.”

“We
have been taking this day to day. I don’t want to push anything on him at this
time. I don’t think of him as a rebound. I see him as an attractive, strong man
who seems to be in serious like with me. I hope that’s how he feels. All this
crap going on with Jason is keeping me from pressuring him or myself. As soon
as the dust has settled, he and I can talk it all out if he’s still with me.”

“Okay,
I’m glad you have that much together. I have a feeling that he could be ‘the
one’ and would hate for you to lose out. Forgive me. I’m tired and just want
you to be happy. So, what’s the latest news on Jason?”

I
had forgotten about him calling the last two days and knew the girls were
clueless as to what had occurred with my vehicle.

“I
haven’t told you all what has happened this week. Got a minute?”

I
let the story out in a rush and hoped she was too tired to berate me. I told
her about the phone calls and remembered that Montrose hadn’t called me back.

She
would repeat the information to the rest of the gang and hoped Jason wouldn’t
call me again. I agreed and wished her a good night.

I
stripped to get into the shower. I hated going to bed with wet hair, so I
pinned it up before dousing off the layer of dust I had on my skin. As I was
toweling off, I heard the phone ring and ran for it. I was breathless as I
picked up the phone.

“I’m
here all alone and you’re at home sounding breathless. What’s wrong with this
picture?” Conrad asked mischievously.

“I
just got out of the shower and I ran to pick up the phone, silly. What are you
up to?” I asked as I slid on a camisole.

“All
I know is that I’m picturing you naked and moist next to a soft bed. Please
tell me you’re wearing some avocado on your face while wearing some ugly
flannel gown.”

Laughing
huskily I answered, “Almost correct. I am moist and next to a soft bed putting
on flannel shorts.”

I
thought the truth would be nicer than fiction.

“Oh,
don’t do this to me.”

“I’m
sorry. You asked and it happens to be the truth.”

“How
come you can sound sexy wearing flannel? Did I luck out or what?”

“I
know how you got this lucky and that was from me being unlucky.”

“Yeah,
I guess it is, but we’ll find out when I can actually bag the prize.”

“Well,
there are no bags here to be had. Will I do?”

“I’ll
be there in five minutes,” and he hung up.

What!
Was he serious? Had I led him on that quickly?

Then
the phone rang again. I picked it up and heard nothing except laughter.

“Young
man, what do you think you’re doing?”

“I
am giving as good as I get, young lady. How do you feel about that? Is your
heart racing or were you too stunned to move off the bed?”

“I’m
glad to provide entertainment for you.”

Turning
off the light, I set my alarm and crawled into bed with the phone.

“It’s
not the kind of entertainment I would really want right now, although it does
fill a void. This is where I ask how your day was in order to avoid thinking of
sex again.”

“And
this is where I would tell you it went by pretty fast and I filled you in on
some things.”

I
went over the conversation I had with Chastity. He said he would love to see
how it turned out. He didn’t take my advice to her personally.

“I
thought that kind of thing would piss you off as a guy.”

“I’m
definitely a guy, however, I do realize that you have to work at any
relationship. This is just one form of it that you don’t see very often. Now,
if she was trying to program him to be her type, then I would be offended. I’m
no saint and have pulled a few tricks in relationships before. Haven’t you?”

“Nope.
I am what I am, as Chastity would say. She and I both believe you should be
yourself. If that works out, great. That brings me to another subject. When do
you think people should have a serious talk about their feelings?” I inquired
with bated breath.

“Hmm,
that depends on the people involved. Like in Chastity’s case, she should talk
to Parker about each other’s needs and see where the chips fall.”

“Umm,
what about us?” I asked him cautiously.

He
was silent for a moment.

“Do
you want to have this discussion with me or are you just making conversation?”

Gulping,
I said, “I’m asking for your input on what we have together.”

“Okay.
I need to know what kind of questions you have. I’d rather discuss this in
person. Tell me what you’re concerned about. I’ll do the best I can, and we’ll
have to talk about it in more detail later. Okay?”

“Alright.
I know how I feel about you and you seem to feel the same about me. I know we
entered into this with a crazy ex in tow and we’ve been catching up since then.
We’ve also discussed taking sex slowly because of the turmoil going on. I’m
fine with all of this, but I need to know if you see us still together after
Jason has been installed in a mental institution. Is it too soon to ask that?”

“I’m
fine with you asking, although I’d like to know why are you concerned? We’re
taking things a step at a time, aren’t we?”

“Yes,
we agreed to take things slow. I don’t want either of us to feel pressure, so
we can table this for the time being,” I smacked myself in the head.

“No,
you have questions. I’ll do my best to make you feel better. Now, are you
worried that this is a fling or that I’m only here for the excitement? Let me
tell you now that that’s not how I feel. I’m glad I was there for you when you
needed someone, and know that I’m here for who you are.”

“Okay,
that’s reassuring.”

I
stopped myself from smacking my head again.

“Don’t
beat yourself up for this. I want to know what started this insecure feeling
you are having.”

“I
was talking to Raven about the advice I gave to Chastity and she mentioned that
I may need a little help of my own. She was worried that I was rebounding. She
meant well, but it struck a cord in me as to what you feel. I’m stupid and I
should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

He
chuckled, “I’m glad you mentioned it and want you to know that I have no
ulterior motives. I’m in this for as long as we can take it. Is there anything
else you need to know? And please tell me I’m not your rebound. That would
truly break my heart.”

“I
want you for who you are and not some silly fairy tale reason.”

“I
don’t have any issues with these thoughts coming up. I want you to understand
that anytime you have a question, silly or not, please ask me.”

“Okay,
but I still feel stupid. I’ll beat my head against the head board when I hang
up.”

“It
sounded like you already did that. Please don’t do it again. If there’s a
bruise on that gorgeous head, I’ll be upset.”

“No
more beatings tonight. Now let me gracefully get off the phone so I don’t
embarrass myself any further.”

“Okay.
I meant what I said. Don’t let anyone get in between us and speak up when you
have something on your mind. We’d be just chasing our tales if we never
discussed any issues.”

“Thank
you and good night, sweet prince.”

He
laughed at my play on words and whispered good night before hanging up.

I
still wanted to smack my head, although I took his advice before causing myself
a huge headache.

* * * *

Thursday
was a repeat of the workload from Wednesday, but without the crazy phone calls.
My mechanic called an hour before quitting time to tell me the Jeep was ready.
He had washed it down and even put gas in the tank. He was another fine man to
depend on, like Conrad. I thanked him profusely and immediately called Conrad.

He
was happy that I was getting my vehicle back even though he liked knowing he
was helping. He told me to pick him up at the office when I got off work and we
would go back to the shop to get my Jeep. He could strap the motorcycle down in
the back of the truck and take it back home with him. I agreed and I couldn’t
pass up his offer to cook me dinner. I told him I’d buy the ingredients if he cooked.

I
said good-bye to Parker and rushed over to Conrad’s shop. I caught him cleaning
up. The vision of it was worth the ride over.

He
was stripped to the waist and rubbing his body down with a black towel by the
utility sink. My jaw must have dropped because he smiled before coming over to
run a finger over my chin.

“Yeah,
it’s nice seeing you too.”

He
placed a feather soft kiss on my waiting lips. I groaned a little.

“Is
that all I get for making it here in record time?”

“Yes,
if you want your vehicle tonight and dinner afterward, you get nothing out of
me. Now move out of here you vixen, before I can weld without equipment.”

He
swatted me on the butt with his towel. I brazenly turned, swishing my tush on
the way to the front of the shop. He laughed as I went.

When
he was done, Conrad slid his arms around me and said, “Let’s go.”

I
happily threw him the keys as I headed for the door. We crossed the street to
the little grocery store across from his work and bought food before piling
back into the truck. I was excited to get my vehicle back. I was bouncing.

When
we pulled up to the mechanics, I bounded out of the truck and headed in to see
what the bill would run me. Fortunately, it was within my budget. I slid him my
credit card without a second thought.

Getting
back in my vehicle was like putting on your favorite pair of jeans, a comfort
that fit like a glove. I cranked up a blues CD as I pulled out of the driveway
and followed Conrad to his place.

I
parked under the tree by his front door and jumped out with my bag. I grabbed
one of the grocery bags from him and unloaded it when I reached the kitchen.
His phone started ringing so I waved him away as I took over the unloading.

Conrad
came back as I finished up. I made glasses of tea for us and started prepping
dinner. I didn’t know where his grill was, so I marinated the chicken and
tossed the salad before he hung up the phone. He plopped the potatoes in the
convection oven while he told me about his phone call.

“That
was Blake. He has another project that he needs me to help him with. It’s out
of town, but for a good cause. An Autism Center has a design from their kids
and they want a sculpture put up in the courtyard of the building. He already
has the grounds designed, so the statue is for the kids.”

“That
sounds great. Do you leave soon?” I put the salad in the fridge.

 
“I might have to head out next week. It’s in
Miami, so I’d be driving most of the first day. Blake has to be there tomorrow
night and will call me afterward to give me details.”

He
got out matches and utensils and nodded for me to follow him. The grill was
inside the shed next to the workshop. He explained the sculpture as he lit the
grill. Then we went back inside to talk while the coals heated up.

We
settled into the couch as he continued his description of the work to be done.
I realized how much I loved to listen to his husky voice and started to fantasize.

“Hello,
are you in there?” He asked as he waved a hand in front of my face.

I
was embarrassed that he’d caught me day dreaming.

“Were
you bored with me or preoccupied?”

“Well,
I was so mesmerized by your voice that I went into another dimension. I’m
sorry, that was rude of me.”

“What’s
so wonderful that you tuned me out?”

I
looked up into his eyes and the words disappeared. I immediately saw him taking
me right then and there on that very spot.