Just the Way You Are (32 page)

Max’s jaw tightened. ‘So I see. Take care of yourself Ava.’

He walked to his car without so much as a backward glance.

Once Graham wasn’t winded any more, we went inside Brown’s and took a seat near the back. It was busy and all the comfy booths by the kitchen had been snapped up.

‘Who was that guy you were talking to?’ he asked after taking a sip of his water.

‘Max? Oh he’s… just a mate,’ I replied. ‘I’ve known him since I was six.’

Liar.

‘He seemed nice.’ Graham tried to attract one of the waitress’ attention but failed.

‘Yeah he is.’ I fidgeted and stared around the room, thinking of a subject I could segue into. ‘So, um… crap weather we’ve been having eh? Today’s nice though.’

‘Well it
is
February. Talking of February, didn’t you say you have a big work function this month?’

‘Yeah, the Kiss and Tell Ball; it’s on the twenty-fifth. Our publishing group does it every year and it’s really good. They go all out and hire proper entertainment and everything.’

Graham nodded. ‘The twenty-fifth’s a Saturday right? What do you think about skipping that work thing and going on – wait for it – a mini break with me? We’ll have been seeing each other for four weeks then.’

That shut me up. It wasn’t often I was speechless but now I definitely was.

‘A mini break?’ I repeated. ‘Don’t you think it’s a bit soon for that?’

Oops, that wasn’t meant to come out.

‘Not really. I like you a lot Ava, and going away together could bring us a lot closer together.’

Yikes. The words “closer” and “together” had me wanting to run for the front door. Maybe I hadn’t changed as much as I thought I had.

‘Um… Graham, I’m flattered but we’ve only been seeing each other a few weeks. They’ve been a great few weeks, don’t get me wrong, but a mini break’s a bit sudden. Why don’t we go out for dinner or see a movie instead?’

He looked hurt but nodded in agreement. ‘You’re right; I’m getting a bit carried away with myself. It’s just… I’ve never felt anything like this before, Ava. That might sound crazy but I don’t care. I have a really good feeling about us.’

My palms began to sweat and lost their grip on the cutlery I was holding. They slid back onto the table and landed with a loud clang.

‘Do you?’ was all I managed to say.

Graham reached over and took my clammy hands in his, wincing a bit when he realised how slimy they were.

‘I do. We could be really good together, I think. Maybe we won’t go on a mini break just yet but it’s an idea for the future, right?’

I nodded. ‘Definitely!’

Uh oh, I thought, he’s used the F word: future. I was so used to thinking I wasn’t going to have a future with anyone that it scared me when the possibility arose.

Max came back into the restaurant, striding across the vast floor in his chef’s whites. Our eyes met for the briefest of seconds before he disappeared into the kitchen.

Graham dropped me back at work after a delicious lunch of prawn linguine and lemon tart (I’d decided to avoid the pear crumble and the memories attached to it).

‘See you later then.’

‘You bet.’

He leaned over to give me a kiss then I got out of the car. As I watched him drive off, I tried to silence the voice in my head telling me things weren’t right. Graham was a decent, hard-working guy and he wanted me.

I walked back into the office and plonked myself down at my desk. Now lunch was over, it was time to get working on my top-secret quirky Valentine’s story. After Paddy had put the kibosh on Ivy and Leo’s story, I’d felt like giving up on the whole thing. Recently, however, an idea had begun to brew at the back of my mind that I was desperate to use. It involved a lot of soul-baring and the letter I’d written to Max on New Year’s Day.

‘Didn’t expect to find you here! I thought you’d be on Cloud Nine!’ Fran joked as she joined me.

‘Ha bloody ha! Graham took me to Brown’s for lunch and it was very nice, thanks very much.’

‘Ooh Brown’s! Wasn’t it awkward seeing Max?’

I wanted to say ‘yes Fran, it was very bloody awkward. I had no idea what to say or do around him because ever since I figured out I love him, I turn into a prat whenever he’s around. I wish he could see I’m head-over-bloody-heels for him but being a guy, he doesn’t suspect a thing. Please tell me you’ve got some kind of baked goods for me?’

Instead, I went with ‘nah not really. Like I said, we’re fine with each other.’

Later that afternoon, Miranda came round with forms asking what we’d like to eat at the Kiss and Tell Ball and if we were bringing a plus one. These were usually given out before now; I guessed her affair with Paddy was distracting her.

Fran snorted. ‘A plus one?! That’s got to be some sort of cruel joke. As if the Kiss and Tell Ball isn’t bad enough right?’

I shrugged my shoulders. ‘I really like it actually. It’s a nice excuse to dress up and they always go all out with it; nice decorations, good music, fancy food. It’s better when you turn up with someone though. Being the only single one there’s like turning up to a school disco by yourself.’

‘You won’t need to worry about that this year. You’ve already got your plus one: the lovely Graham,’ she commented.’

‘Actually when I asked him, he suggested we go away together instead –’

Before I could tell her anything else, Fran erupted into a chorus of excitable screams.

‘He’s got to be serious about you Ava! I wouldn’t be surprised if he popped the question on the weekend away!’

I raised a very sceptical eyebrow. ‘Calm yourself, we’ve been going out for three weeks! I doubt he’s getting down on one knee any time soon. Anyway, I told him to hold his horses on the mini break front. It’s far too soon.’

Fran’s shoulder slumped and her face fell. ‘Pity, I could be doing with going to a good wedding in the near future. Since Ryan shat on my dreams, I won’t be walking down the aisle this year.’

‘And neither will I,’ I replied with a smile.

***

I went home to an empty flat. A green Post-it note from Gwen let me know she and Jake had randomly decided to escape to a country cottage because he was on a reading week at uni.

‘Lucky bloody you,’ I murmured with a smile. I’d never seen her so happy.

I kicked off my ridiculously uncomfortable boots from River Island and sat on the couch with a huge glass of wine. I deserved it after all the drama with Graham and his grand ideas for a mini break.

Just as I was settling down to enjoy it, there was a knock at the door.

‘You’ll just have to wait,’ I said to the wine glass as I put it down on the table.

I opened the door to find Max standing before me.

‘What are you doing here?’ My voice wobbled dangerously; I willed it to hold out for as long as possible.

He gave an affable shrug and grinned. ‘Nothing, I just thought it’d be nice for us to hang out for a bit. We haven’t done that for a while, have we?’

‘I guess not.’ I stood aside and let him in. ‘Listen, about today…’

Max put his hands up. ‘Don’t worry about it; you can tell me all about him in a sec. Believe me, I want to hear everything.’

He made his way to the living room and something struck me: he didn’t seem jealous. When he’d seen me with Graham earlier that day, he’d looked pretty annoyed – but now, he just looked like my utterly gorgeous, slightly goofy best mate who wanted to know everything about the latest guy in my life.

A few glasses of wine later, I was waxing lyrical to Max about Graham.

‘He’s a corporate accountant, works for some posh firm in the city centre. He’s apparently really good at what he does and keeps getting promoted.’

Max leaned forward to top up our glasses. ‘So he’s a hard worker then?’

‘Seems to be. Listen… I’m sorry I’ve not been around much lately. Things have just been a bit up in the air with work and…you know…’

He shook his head and picked up his wine glass. ‘It’s OK, I understand. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about getting back together with Amira. It happened last month; I finally decided to hear her out about being a cow and we ended up getting back together. I just figured that after the whole thing with me and you, we both needed to move on, you know? And we have.’

‘We have,’ I agreed. ‘You’re with Amira and I’m with Graham. No hard feelings, eh?’

We shook hands and I was sure I felt a little bolt of electricity travel up my arm when his palm touched mine.

‘Looks like I was right then.’ He smiled in a way that made me want to melt.

‘How do you mean?’

Max slipped his bear paw on top of my tiny hand and squeezed it. The gesture woke up feelings of familiarity and longing within me.

‘I said a few months ago you were going to meet someone amazing and you have. What’s my prize for being right?’

I smiled. This conversation could be steered in one of two directions; I knew which one I wanted to choose but also knew I should do the right thing.

‘Whatever you want, I guess,’ I replied.

He raised his black bushy eyebrows. ‘Now that’s an interesting proposition. What, like anything in the world?’

I nodded. ‘Yeah, take your pick.’

Max thought hard for a moment. His tongue poked out the side of his mouth while he concentrated. Why did he have to be so bloody cute?

‘OK then,’ he said. ‘I’ll have a Ferrari. I’d like a red one, please.’

I giggled. ‘It’s got to be something I could actually get you! A Ferrari’s a bit out of my price range, I’m afraid.’

‘That’s not fair, you said anything in the world!’ Max protested.

‘I should’ve said anything in the world
that I can feasibly afford
. Go on, choose again.’

His eyes moved up to the ceiling as his brain started working again. It was adorable how much thought he was putting into this, given that it was just banter between friends.

‘Right, I know what I want.’

Please say me, please say me, please say me…

‘What?’

‘A time machine, like the one from
Back to the Future
.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘What do you need a time machine for?’

‘So I can go back in time and fix things between us,’ he replied.

My heart broke a little. Surely they hadn’t been that bad?

‘Oh really? What would you fix?’ I asked, not sure if I really wanted to know the answer.

‘I think you already know the answer to that. I’d stop all the mess about Mr Writer coming between us and I’d… I’d go back to the day I started writing to you again and I wouldn’t do it.’

‘Thanks.’ My voice was bitter though I didn’t mean it to be. I was more than a little put out that Max wished he could take back the letters he’d sent me. Obviously, he regretted his decision to resurrect Mr Writer more than I’d thought.

‘I don’t mean that in a bad way, Ava; it’s not a reflection on you. The day I decided to write to you again was the day all the trouble started: the weirdness between us, all the heartache you had to go through with those bloody candidates, us sleeping together and you finding out it was me all along. The last few months have been nothing but unnecessary grief for you and I’m sorry.’

‘Max you don’t have to be sorry. You might’ve written the letters but I was the one who made a big song and dance out of finding my secret admirer. I could’ve just enjoyed the letters but no, I had to go and put my Miss Marple hat on and –’

I didn’t get a chance to finish. Max cupped my face in his hands and stole my words with a slow, sweet kiss. He pulled me onto his lap and held me gently by my waist as he kissed me so I wouldn’t fall off. I couldn’t accurately describe how I felt; there were no words for how good it felt to have his lips on mine again. He pulled back a second later, turning his face to the side. I put my hand on his cheek so his eyes were looking into mine.

‘What is it?’ I asked.

‘Ava, what have you done to me? I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life, but here I am kissing you when I’ve just got back together with Amira!’

‘I’m going out with Graham, so I’m not an angel in this either. Max, I don’t know what’s happening but…’

His phone rang, bringing my speech to a halt. He stood up and walked to the archway leading to the kitchen to take the call.

‘Hello? Hey babe. You’ve what, that’s brilliant! Is it the really good one you got? Oh right. Yeah, no… Look, can we talk about this tonight? I’m working a double shift because Rodolfo phoned in sick. Speak to you later, love you too, bye.’

‘Was that Amira?’

‘Yeah.’ He didn’t join me on the sofa again. ‘She’s, er, she’s got a new job. She studied Events Management at uni and a company have just offered her a job as a co-ordinator.’

‘Oh that’s great,’ I lied. ‘Where?’

‘Sydney.’

Max broke the news as I was sipping some wine; the shock almost made me spit it out. ‘Sydney, as in Australia?’

‘Yeah. I knew she was going for the job but she was a bit sketchy on where it was. The company headquarters is in London but they’ve got offices in LA, New York, Sydney and places like that. She originally applied for a job in London but her CV was so good they put her forward for a better one in Sydney. She did a Skype interview for them and apparently they were so impressed they want her to start as soon as possible.’

A question burned at the back of my throat and I knew I was going to ask it, whether I wanted to or not.

‘What about you? Are you going with her?’

Max frowned, which I initially took as a good sign. I’d seen his “don’t be stupid” face before.

‘Of course I am; she’s my girlfriend, I can’t just let her go on her own! I’ll have to start looking for chef jobs out there, I suppose. Then I’ll have to sort out visas and stuff.’

I badly wanted to cry. It felt like the universe had made us collide for one final sweet time only to snatch him away from me again.

‘How long will it be till you go?’

He drew a little closer and perched on the arm of the couch. ‘I don’t know. The visas will take a while to sort out I think, and I’ll have to find a job before I can do any of that. There’s loads to arrange so it could be ages before I leave. We’re having a meal at Brown’s next week, a kind of goodbye thing. You should come.’