Just That Easy (17 page)

“Hey, Al!” Teryn gave him a big hug and he planted a sloppy
kiss on her cheek.

“Girl, you glow! Man I only been gone a week! Don’t let that
big ox in there keep you too busy to come see me, I need my dose of hotness,
you know.”

Teryn was reminded how much she had missed his Southern
attitude. Tall, slim, hips about as wide and flat as a stick of gum, Al was all
personality, all the time. Southern boy with the sweet charm of a gay man
solidly content with himself. Never missed a thing either, and wasn’t afraid to
tell you so.

“Yeah, yeah, Al.” She laughed, wrapping an arm around his
thin waist. “I know what kind of hotness you like. How is Derrin, by the way?”
She grinned up at him as they walked.

He cocked his head at her in that sassy way, but the blush
on his face told her he loved that she had asked. “Girl, you know I ain’t gonna
kiss and tell, but I’ll just say he’s almost as hot as that little head of
yours.”

“Whoo hoo. Good for you, Al, good for you.”

“Speakin’ of, you seem pretty damn happy.” He gave her a sly
little glance out of the corner of his eye.

“Well, yeah. It’s all kind of, new. Fast, maybe, but it’s
been good, yeah.” She nodded, knowing that much was true at least.

“So, what do you know?”

“What?” She nearly stopped walking, but recovered and kept
moving in spite of the knot of tension that invaded her entire body at once.

“Grant. What do you know?” Al turned away, voice low so she
almost didn’t hear the words.

“Exactly why are you asking me that, Al?”

The look on his face made her think for a moment his face
might turn an even deeper shade of near purple before his head exploded in
front of her.

“Nothin’ particular, just wondered what you guys been doin’
all week, all that testosterone that man has, wondered where he’s been taking
you. What you know about where this might be goin’.”

Every nagging oddity in the last few days crept up in her
mind, and the obvious tension in Al pushed it to a whole new level. “That is a
load of crap. What?”

He sighed. “Nothin’, Teryn. Grant is a good guy, and you
look happy. Nothin’ else to tell.”

“You’re a lousy liar, Al.”

He sighed. “All right, all right. All I’m going to say is,
be sure you know what you are getting yourself into, child. I have nothing bad
to say about him, nothing at all, but he is who he is, and, well, sometimes who
someone is makes what they do a little different.”

“You talking about racing? The adrenaline junkie? Mountain
climbing, have to have the next thrill, Grant? Yeah, Al, I’ve got that one
figured out, and I’m kind of preparing myself for it. Like I said, I’m having
fun, and beyond that, I’m not putting a whole lot of stock into it. Okay?” That
and the expensive wine, the blazer, the freaking fifteen-hundred-dollar watch
he wore as if it was something he picked up at the hardware store, among other
things.

“You’re a smart girl, and sweet as they come. I don’t want
to see you get your feelings hurt.”

She snorted. “Al, have you seen that man?”

“Well, honey, there ain’t nothing breathin’ this side of the
Mississippi that hasn’t got a sniff of that, those abs…shoulders the size of…oh
hell yeah, girl, I’ve seen him. But, since he’s kind of almost like my nephew,
it’s a little weird for me.” He gave a slight shudder.

She turned to face him. “Then I’ll just say that so far,
it’s not weird for me. I’ve never been with a man like him, in my entire life.
Even if it doesn’t get beyond where we’re at, I could die with a smile on my
face from the places that man has taken me, and we haven’t left the county.”

“Uh huh. Well, I think this is the TMI part of this
conversation, baby, not that I don’t love delicious little details, but, uh,
not when it’s the two of you bumpin’ uglies, you know? So I’m goin’ back to
work. You take care of yourself and make sure you don’t stay away, right?”

Wrapping her arms around him, she hugged him tight for a
moment. Relieved he had given no negative opinion of Grant, but not completely
at ease that there was something else she knew he wasn’t telling her. “Right.
You know I love you, Al. I won’t be a stranger.”

He gave her a little pat on the butt as she walked away,
heading for the reference section.

* * * * *

“Boy, do you have any idea what the hell you are doing?”

Grant cringed, but didn’t look up. Instead he kept his voice
steady, his comment sarcastic, knowing damn well what was coming as he
continued to catalog books into the computer. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here,
Al, and assume you aren’t talking about the library?”

“That girl does not deserve to be hurt.”

“All right then, I’ll answer your question. No, I have no
idea what the hell I’m doing anymore, Al. None.” He shrugged, finally turning
to look up.

Al stood over him, hands on his thin hips, sizing him up.
His lips were pursed, he was definitely pissed off. He snorted at him. He felt
as if he were facing down an angry dad after bringing his teenage daughter home
at dawn.

“You really care about her, don’t you?”

Al’s ramrod straight stature eased just a bit, and his face
softened when he spoke of her. “Damn straight. There isn’t nobody more honest,
more true, more pure-hearted than that woman.”

Grant couldn’t help but snicker. “Yeah. With a dirty mind
the size of Wyoming.”

He decided that had been a huge mistake when Al’s nostrils
flared even wider, and his face turned ruddy again. “I don’t care what she does
for a living, there ain’t nothing wrong with writing what she does. She makes a
good, honest living and it don’t matter that it’s writing what most people
won’t admit they think about anyway. And that doesn’t make her your summer
plaything, rich boy. You are using her.”

Grant looked out of the office. Teryn was out there, doing
some research in the reference section. “Keep your voice down, Al. I am not
using her.” He couldn’t help the anger that flashed in his eyes, or over his
face.

“If I wasn’t a skinny-assed gay man and you some big
lumberjack I would kick your ass all over this library.” He seethed right back,
nostrils flared, hands curled into fists against his skinny hips. “She doesn’t
know who you are. Does she?”

He pointed straight out at Teryn, who thankfully remained
oblivious to the conversation they were having about her.

“No. She knows exactly who I am, Al,
exactly
. And
it’s got nothing to do with what the hell my last name is, the opposite in
fact. That’s the only reason she does know me, because I don’t have to be the
asshole I was born to be.”

“You are one piece of work. I should go tell her right now.
And you
are
using her, you’re using her to wash away all that nastiness
your family dumped on you. Your heart’s been almost dead for good on twenty
years now, Grant. You finally found something to reach in there and yank it
out, but what about her, Grant? Once she pulls all the bad outta you, you gonna
throw her out with it?”

“No! Al, please. Listen to me, I’ll tell you everything, if
you just help me. Please.” His voice dropped, and he knew his face gave away
every damn bit of terror that he was going to lose her, the fear and anger that
he’d already fucked this all up beyond salvage. He could only hope Al would
take some pity on him.

Al crossed his arms over his chest, looking dubious. “Give
it a shot, I’ll think on it. Better make it good.”

Grant sighed. It wouldn’t be hard to lay it out there,
probably easier than it would be to tell her.

“I don’t know if it’s because I was out from under
everything, hiding out here pretending I wasn’t who I am, or what. The minute I
laid eyes on her, I just felt like I needed to know her, and I didn’t feel like
there was any reason not to, you know? No expectations, no, ‘yeah, that’s my
family’, none of that. It was just her and me. And she liked me, she’s been
into it from the very first minute as I much as I have. That’s it. We’re
perfect together, Al. She’s bringing out everything in me I ever wanted to be.
I think I’m doing the same thing for her. Except, well, except she doesn’t
trust it.”

Al snorted down at him again. “Because she’s so damn honest,
you big dumb piece of meat, that she can sense you are lying to her.”

Grant threw up his hands, trying to keep his voice to a
whisper, the urge to just shout making him even more tense. “I’m not lying to
her, Al. I’m more honest with her than I’ve ever been with anyone. Ever.”

“You know what I mean.”

This time his hands went to his hair, pushing his fingers
through it in frustration, he locked them behind his head and closed his eyes,
leaning back in the chair. He took a long, deep breath. “I swear to god, Al, I
have considered legally changing my name and moving somewhere that no one would
ever know me and taking her with me. That’s how much this is to me. Right now
the chance that she might stay with me, that she might love me,
me
, Al,
not the guy you are talking about. That’s everything to me right now.
Everything.”

Al paced, fingers rubbing his chin and shaking his head.
Finally he sighed. “That ain’t happenin’. You’re being stupid now, Grant. You
are gonna have to face the music sooner or later, you know that. What are you
waiting for?”

“It’s, kind of…” He shrugged. “From the first minute we
connected, Al, it’s been really physical, not just emotional. I’m going all out
in the emotional department, she isn’t. She’s afraid. So, since the physical
part was going so well, I started playing this game with her—”

“Whoa! Stop right there. I’ll put my hands over my ears if
you start telling me anything you are doing between the sheets with that girl.”

“No, I wouldn’t do that to her. Give me a break, Al, now
even you’re acting like I’m the biggest asshole on the planet.”

“Well?” He cocked an eyebrow at him, this time one hand on
his hips, looking every bit the pissed-off gay man he was.

Grant gave in, shrugging his shoulders. “Fine, I’m an
asshole. Anyway, the game was to push her limits, test her trust in me, get her
to step outside her comfort zone a little, with me right there beside her.” He
stared into space, remembering the things they’d done together so far. If he
wasn’t feeling mortal terror that he may be about to lose her it would have
made him smile.

“Adrenaline freaks, man, you ain’t got nothing better to do
than make more addicts out there? Thrill Seekers my ass.”

He turned to Al again, the need to convince him stronger
than ever. “No, it’s been good, and not just for me. She climbed the rock wall
with me, she was fierce, Al, it was beautiful. I’m going to take her to a race
with me. A freaking adventure race. She doesn’t know it yet but I know she’ll
go for it, she’s willing to jump right in there with me and try anything. I
can’t tell you all the details of how, but I can tell you, she has conquered a
lot of things she thought she couldn’t do.”

Al stopped his pacing and sat slowly in one of the other
office chairs. “She always was a little afraid of herself. Maybe that’s not so
bad.”

“It’s not bad. How could it be bad when two people are so
free with each other they can do anything and everything they ever wanted to,
and know the other one will be right there with them the whole way?”

“Except, she don’t believe you’re going to be there the
whole way.” Al pointed his finger at him.

“No. She doesn’t.” He sighed, shaking his head.

“Damn smart girl too. Cause you ain’t gonna be. That name of
yours catches up to you, it’s going to come down on you like the sky is on
fire, and you’re going to take her down with you. You know that? Playing sex
games is one thing, Grant, giving a woman’s body what she wants. That’s all
fine and good. But giving a woman what she needs, Grant, everything she needs,
it can’t happen that way.”

He gripped his thighs, eyes closed, head shaking. He refused
to believe this couldn’t work. “You telling me you don’t connect through sex,
Al? That two people can’t find something through exploring everything they’ve
ever wanted to reach out and try?”

“You’ll find something all right, you’ll find you are only
giving her part of yourself, because the truth is what she needs, and that is
exactly what you ain’t givin’ her. You want to know what I think? I think you
don’t even know what the truth is. I think she makes you feel alive, this
little game, hunting her down, having to work for once to get something, it
burns you up. You’re finally feeling something after all this time. Except,
it’s using her up to get it. You’re setting her up, Grant. Setting her up to
fall hard.”

“I’m not going to let that happen. I would never hurt her.”

“Like you can help it. You already lied to her. You already
hurt her, she just don’t feel it yet. Tell her, Grant. Or I will. You got a
week, you hear me? I’m not sayin’ it because I want to hurt you, either, you
know I love you, boy. But you’ve got to be honest with her. She needs to know,
all of it, so she can decide what to do with it, not you. You’re never going to
get anything you want by trying to take the easy way. Seems like your family
would’ve hammered that into your head by now. There are things you don’t know
about her, Grant, things that you should have known, if you were going to get
this far with her.”

Grant looked out of the office. Teryn was standing at the
desk, looking at both of them, that look on her face said she knew something was
up, just not exactly what. “What things?”

“I can’t say. She can’t trust people, Grant. Things in her
past that would make her get hurt twice as much if you break her heart like I’m
afraid you are going to.”

“That’s just it, Al. I don’t want to break her heart, I want
her with me.”

“You sure that’s up to you? The second she finds out what
you’ve done, Grant, her heart is going to break. Period. Nothin’ is going to be
up to you except knowing it was your fault. You are keeping this going Grant
because you don’t want to face the truth, you just want to win. Tell her,
Grant.”