Just One Kiss (20 page)

“How did you expect me to feel with you screaming in my
face?” I ask, irritated. “I know that I yelled first. And I’m sorry for that,
but the way you looked at me, and the way you spoke to me, I can’t just forget
that. I’m working on forgiving people in my life, and I love you enough that I
won’t just let this end, but I can’t look at you and say that you’d never hurt
me anymore.”

“You love me?” he asks quickly, looking at me with hopeful
curiosity.

I freeze. “I never said that,” I deny, shaking my head.

“Yes you did,” he says slowly.

“It just slipped.” I pull my hands from his grasp.

“But did you mean it?” Brayden asks.

I cringe and look away. “Yeah,” I finally admit.

“You love me?” he asks, his voice getting happier.

I look back at his face. “Seriously, I just told you that I
can’t look at you the same way anymore and that’s what you’re focusing on?”

He smiles. “How can I not focus on you saying you love me? I
can work on getting back into your good graces as long as I know that you love
me. I just need to know that you won’t give up,” he says, almost excitedly.

I shake my head. “I never said I was giving up on you.”

“Well, I kind of assumed that was what you meant when you
told me to stay away from you.” He looks incredibly sad as he looks down. “The
look on your face when you said that was like a bucket of ice water was being
poured over my body. I never want to see that look again.” His voice cracks at
the end as he looks up at me, clearly in agony.

Not really thinking, I lean forward and upward, kissing his
soft lips. Bray seems shocked at first, but reacts quickly, cupping my cheeks
with his large palms and pulling me even closer. My fingers tangle themselves
in his shaggy hair before I can stop them.

Pulling back to lean his forehead against mine, he nudges my
nose with his, whispering, “I never want to see you sad again.”

I give a small laugh. “All I need is for you to trust me,
Brayden. I’m never going to choose some other guy over you, and I’m definitely
not playing hard to get. You’re the reason that I can be even halfway
comfortable with myself now, so don’t doubt me, okay?”

He nods, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. Part of me is
still upset at him, but I know that it’s not permanent.

“I have to go back inside,” I whisper, hating to break the
moment.

“I’ll walk you in,” he says, taking my hand in his and
leading us to the door.

“Can you wait a minute? I’m going to try to leave early,” I
say, hoping we can continue talking about things.

He nods, looking a little confused, and waits while I go
talk to Jon, who agrees to let me go as long as I make up the hours another day
this week. Brayden and I decide to take his truck back to my house and in the
morning, if he stays, he’ll just give me a ride to my car. If not, I can always
ride with Matty.

“Are we okay now?” he asks nervously, even though he’s
sprawling out across my bed as though we’d never fought. It’s really nice to
see.

I give an uncertain nod. “I guess that depends on if you can
forgive me,” I tell him, going into my closet to change into my pajamas, hoping
he can’t see my face.

“Why would I need to forgive you?” he asks, sounding dumbfounded.

I step out of the closet and have to gulp back the guilty
feeling that’s been eating me alive since Saturday. “I’m sorry I kicked you out
when you needed me,” I say, swearing quietly as I rub away the fallen tears.

“Annie,” he says softly, holding his arm out for me to
cuddle up to him. I move hesitantly, not wanting him to forgive me right away.
I was so caught up in my own emotions that I didn’t even consider his. What
kind of girlfriend can just do that to the man she loves? He’s literally been
there for me every step of the way in the past few months, dealing with my
being a constant emotional wreck, and I couldn’t even take him into
consideration when something truly tragic happened.

I scoot across the bed until my head is resting on his chest
and our arms are laced around each other. “I am so selfish, Brayden. I was so
caught up in my own drama that I didn’t even think about your tragedy. I care
about you, and I care about Evie, and your entire family, and I wasn’t even
there for them! You all mean the world to me and I almost lost it all because I
only worry about myself. Even now you have to comfort me as I apologize to you
because, once again, I’m making this all about me!” I say, frustrated as tears
rush down my face.

I sigh as Brayden kisses my tears away, his hand making warm
circles on my back. “Don’t beat yourself up over this, there was nothing you
could’ve done. I . . . I don’t like talking about those
kinds of things. I mean, telling you how much I love you is one thing, but I
don’t want you to think that I’m less of a man for the things I feel,” he says,
struggling to find the right words.

My eyes widen—never in my life did I expect that. “Bray,
there is nothing you could ever tell me that would make me think any less of
you. I know I overreact about some things, but I’d never doubt your
masculinity.” I pause for a moment, deciding to be sensitive instead of teasing
him with a sexual reference. “Can you tell me about it?” I ask softly.

I watch as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down. “I’m not sure
you want to hear about that,” he says, his eyes getting a faraway look to them.

“I can handle anything you tell me, but if you’re not
telling me because you don’t want to talk about it, then we can talk about
something else,” I assure him, not wanting to push.

He sighs and looks into my eyes. “If you want me to stop,
just let me know, okay?” I nod slowly and he places a soft kiss on my temple
before continuing. “Evie was walking by the stairs with a huge laundry basket
when she tripped over one of Zander’s Tonka trucks. She fell down the steps,
going over and under the basket along the way, until she landed on the landing
by the front door. Landon and I called the ambulance, but there was already so
much blood.” He stops talking as his voice cracks for the fourth time.

“She found out yesterday that they probably won’t be able to
have any more kids. The doctors are running more tests, but the damage was
pretty extensive.”

I gasp, feeling tears sting my eyes yet again but I refuse
to let them fall. This is about Brayden and his family now. I can’t even
imagine how Evie must be feeling. She was so looking forward to another
daughter, not that they knew the sex yet, but she’d hoped.

“When does she get to go home?” I ask softly.

“They’re hoping that by Christmas Eve she’ll be strong
enough,” he says, shrugging a tiny bit in a hopeless gesture.

“How’s Landon?” I stroke Brayden’s hair gently, speechless
with the grief they must be experiencing.

“Pretty messed up right now, but he’s trying to stay strong
for her.”

“What about Zander and Nora? Do they understand anything
about what happened?”

“They’re at Mom and Dad’s right now. We all decided to just
tell them that we don’t get to keep the baby anymore. Neither would understand
what really happened if they actually knew anyway,” he says softly.

“What about you?” I ask, my voice hardly a whisper.

His eyes stare into mine as he says. “There was so much
blood, Anna. And she wasn’t breathing. I thought she was dead.” My arms wrap
around his shoulders tightly as his face crashes into my chest, sobbing in
broken, mournful cries. The tears I’d been holding start falling silently for
Brayden, for the pain he’s feeling. Each sob breaks my heart a little more and
the only thing I can do for him is stay right where I am, holding him.

I should’ve been here Friday. I should have noticed that
something was wrong as soon as he turned up at school.

We fall asleep like that, with his head on my chest and my
arms hugging him to me. I feel like I’m being his protector for a change, and I
like it.

Making Amends

“Brayden,” I whisper loudly, nudging him awake. “Wake up,
it’s morning,” I say a little louder.

“Mhhm” he murmurs before turning his head away from me. I
laugh and begin running my finger nails up and down his spine, watching as he
shudders a little bit. Taking the teasing a little further, I bend to place
soft kisses along the base of his neck, feeling the tiny goosebumps as they
rise. “Anna,” he warns, his voice a little deeper than before.

I move my lips a little bit until I’m right at his ear.
“What?” I whisper playfully before gently taking his lobe between my teeth.
With a growl that startles me and speed that’s surprising for somebody who’s
just woken up, Brayden flips me onto my back and ends with his body on top of
mine, pinning my hands above my head.

With a look that speaks volumes without him saying a word,
he lowers his mouth to mine, crashing our lips together. In a sudden urge to
control the kiss, I slip my tongue past his lips and answer his previous growl
with my own, taking the lead for the first time in our relationship. He seems
to like, and understand, what I’m doing by the way he responds eagerly. He’s
got some of the control, though, since my hands are still being held against
the pillow.

After only a few minutes of this, I remember why I woke him
up in the first place. Reluctantly, I pull away from the kiss. “Class,” I say
breathlessly, hoping he’ll know what I mean.

Instead of stopping like I thought he would, Brayden moves
his lips down until he’s placing small, delicate, kisses along my neck and
collarbone. “Skip,” he replies, making it seem simple.

“Can’t,” I breathe, trying to focus. “I skipped yesterday.”

“Two days won’t hurt you. Plus, I’ll help you catch up . . . I’m
a very good tutor, for the right price.” I glance down and see that he’s
wearing a devilish smirk.

My reaction is stronger than I’d like to admit and I find
myself saying, “You’re a very bad influence, Mr. Carter.”

He chuckles and glances up at me, pausing his progress on
the hickey he’s attempting to give me. “You know you like it, Miss Holden.”

He’s right.

***

Is it weird that it was easier to make up with Brayden than
it is with Ro? I mean, I always assumed that couples take forever to forgive
each other. Turns out, Ro and I have a relationship far more complicated than
Brayden and I will ever have. She’s like the jelly to my peanut butter, and I
miss her almost more than I missed Brayden when we weren’t talking.

That’s why I’m doing something I never anticipated doing for
anybody, let alone my friend. It took most of my paycheck, and was more
difficult than I ever expected, but I managed to get it finished this morning.

Yesterday, Brayden and I spent all morning at my house. Most
of that time we played Wii, believe it or not. But I missed Ro the entire time.
Normally, I’d be texting her all day if I stayed home. That’s why I knew I had
to do something big for her to forgive me.

I watch carefully, hiding behind a tree, as Ro walks to her
car, dancing to her iPod the entire time. I’m so nervous watching her spin the
dial and open her door. The Airheads candies that I filled her car with come
spilling out, making her jump about a mile. There’s a big note taped to the top
that says,
I’m sorry I was such an airhead. I miss you.

I slowly walk up to her, with tears in my eyes. I need her
friendship so much. She turns, with tears of her own and meets me in a hug.
“I’m sorry I’m such a bitch,” I say, laughing a little as tears fall down my
face.

“I’m sorry I even said that to you! It was way too soon to
forgive him!” she cries back.

We both end up laughing when we realize just how stupid we
look; the two freaks crying and hugging each other over a pile of Airheads. I
take out the large paper bag I brought with me and we get the Airheads out of
her car. There was a second reason I got this particular candy for her: they’re
her all-time favorite. So as we empty them out, she’s already chomping down on
a few of them.

“So how are you and Brayden?” she asks, the cherry Airhead
she’s biting muffling her words.

“We’re pretty great, actually. We love each other,” I tell
her, grinning.

“You guys said it?” she exclaims, wide eyed.

I nod. “Yeah. He said it on Saturday, but I thought it was
mostly just his way of making me forgive him. But he actually meant it. Then I
let it slip out Monday when we were talking during my break at work.”

“That’s awesome! I’m glad. Christmas is only a few days
away; I was worried you guys wouldn’t make up in time.”

I shake my head. “No way am I not being with my boyfriend
for Christmas, whether I hate him or not. Good thing I don’t.”

“It’s so cute when you call him that,” she gushes.

I roll my eyes. “What about you? How are you and Carlos?”

She smiles the hugest smile I’ve ever seen. “’Los is
amazing. We’re spending Christmas at his mom’s house, with his six siblings.”

I laugh. “He
would
have a huge family.”

“It’s crazy! But I feel bad for his mom since she had to
raise seven children who are likely all similar to Carlos. Luckily, only three
still live at home.”

“I think it’s cute. You’ve always wanted a huge family,” I
say, nudging her side.

She rolls her eyes. “I highly doubt that we’re ready for
marriage, Annie.”

“Well you never know!” I exclaim, mentally planning their
wedding.

She sighs and plays with the tips of her hair. “I think I’m
going to dye my hair back to the color it’s supposed to be.”

“What?” I ask, flabbergasted. I love her purple hair, and I
thought she did too. “Why?”

“Well, his mom is, like, traditional and stuff, and I really
want her to like me. I mean, what if she sees my purple hair and tells Carlos
to break up with me and stuff?” she says nervously.