Just My Luck (45 page)

“But body and soul . . .” he went on. “That’s not the way I belong to rugby. That’s the way I want to belong to you, and the way I want you to belong to me too. Because the best things this year . . . so many of them were the times I spent with you. And because it’s been so bloody hard to do this, these past weeks, without you with me. I finally realized that even when you weren’t
with
me, you were still . . . with me, before. When you were with me, I mean.”

He stopped in confusion. “I’m not making any sense, am I?”

“I think I’m getting it,” she said, feeling like she’d been running too fast. Because she was having trouble getting her breath. “But keep going.”

He clutched her hand tighter, turned his gaze on her with that focus, that intensity that was all Nate.

“I should’ve practiced this,” he muttered. “Right. Start again.”

He took a deep breath, and began. “In my heart, I mean.” He laid one big palm across his chest. “I realized that I had you with me here, inside, even when I was gone. And knowing I was in your heart too, knowing that you were there, loving me—that mattered. Reckon that mattered most of all.”

“And besides,” he said, his quick, sweet smile appearing for just a moment, “I need to lighten up, remember? I need to work easier. I need somebody to love me enough to make me take a break. Somebody to kidnap me and take me on a sex slave weekend. Somebody to make me laugh, and make me jealous, and make me send her flowers just because I love her, and I miss her, and I want to be with her. I need you to come back to me, because I need you to come home to.”

“But it doesn’t work, because we’re not on the same level,” she forced herself to say. Her heart was beating so hard that she was sure it must be visible, pumping in her chest. But they had to get this right. They had to work it out, because if they tried again and the same thing happened, she thought it just might destroy her. “We’re not . . . even. I can’t be just your fun. I can’t be your recreation. I can’t be your toy.”

“And I don’t want you to be,” he promised, his hand firm around her own, those pale eyes locked on hers, everything in his face telegraphing how much he meant this. “Not my toy. That’s not what I want. I want you to be my partner, and I want you to be everything you want to be. If that means going back to Uni for another course, then that’s what you should do. But they have sport management courses in En Zed too, you know, and gyms as well. And that’s where you—” He broke off, then went on again. “That’s where I think you belong. Where I hope
you
think you belong. With me.”

“I don’t have a visa, though,” she faltered. “Or the money.”

“They have student visas,” he insisted. “And you have somebody to help you get one, and to help you with the rest as well. Me. You have me. That’s the whole idea, that we’re helping each other. Supporting each other. Loving each other.”

“I know I’m rubbish at relationships,” he said, shifting a little closer. “I know it. But I’m trainable. I’m coachable. I can do most things if I try, and I’d be trying, I promise you that. Don’t give up on me, Ally. Please don’t. Because I need you.”

“If you really think . . .” She couldn’t think how to say it, how to be sure. But he seemed to know, because his next words answered her. And the emotion was bubbling up from deep inside now, because what he was saying was exactly what she needed to hear.

“You don’t have anything to prove to me,” he insisted, and she could feel the tears welling, spilling over as he went on. “You don’t have to be anything more than what you are, because what you are is awesome. You don’t have to accomplish anything else for me to love you, because I already do. But if you need to do another course to get where you want to go, I’ll do everything I can to help you do it. All I’m asking is, do it with me.”

She brushed the tears away with one shaking hand. Smiled back at him, although she could tell the smile was a little wobbly. “Even if I ruin your perfect image? Even if I get a speeding ticket? Even if I make you carry me off the beach?”

“Specially if you do that.” His arms were around her at last, his eyes full of warmth. Full of love. “I want my Ally. I want
you.
I need you, and I love you, and I’m not leaving this . . . this absolutely disgusting flat without you.”

She laughed, even as the tears continued to fall. “I want you too,” she whispered, and felt the lightness of it, the rightness of it. Felt a burden she hadn’t even realized she was carrying dropping from her. The burden of being alone, of living in the world without him.

And then she was moving closer, wrapping her arms around his neck, laying her head against his chest. Feeling him pulling her into him, where she fit. Where she belonged.

“I want you,” she said again, louder this time. Wanting him to hear it, and to know it. “And I need you. And oh, Nate. I love you.”

Mr. Most Improved

Fourteen months later

Ally broke off in mid-sentence as Nate stood beside her and raised his glass. Conversation at the big table gradually ceased, until all nine pairs of eyes were turned to him in expectation.

“Should know how to give a speech by now,” he said with a little laugh, “but I’m a bit nervous, tell you the truth. I’m not really used to talking about anything but footy. But I’ll give it a go.”

“Here’s to Ally,” he said, looking around the restaurant table. Seeing, Ally thought, everyone he’d brought together to celebrate this milestone with them, to make sure her day was as special as it could possibly be. His parents, her parents, Liam and Kristen, Ned and Mel.

“To Ally,” he went on, “because she’s awesome, and as of today, she’s awesome with a certificate in Sport Management as well. Because she’s worked so hard,” he said, giving her his special smile, “and because she’s made all that hard work pay off, and because I know this is just the beginning.”

“To Ally,” he finished, raising his glass, and Ally heard the others echo his words.

He leaned down and gave her a kiss. “So proud of you,” he murmured in her ear, and she thought her heart would actually melt.

“OK.” She stood up in her turn as Nate sat again. “I don’t have any experience at all making speeches, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from Nate, it’s that if you never start, you’ll never get anywhere. So I guess I’d better start.”

She cleared her throat, tried to think how to begin. Wished she’d prepared something, but she’d been so focused on getting through to today for so many months now, she hadn’t dared to look beyond it. And now the day was here, and she had made it. And it felt even better than the day when Nate had told her that Devon had lost his job with his English soccer club, and that he wouldn’t be getting another. She liked to think of him working in a paper hat somewhere, asking people if they wanted fries with that. Well, really, she didn’t bother to think of him much at all anymore. Because Nate was right. She had won.
They
had won.

“I guess I should just say thanks,” she said now. “Because I have so much to be thankful for. First of all, to Kristen.”

She looked across the table at her friend, looking more beautiful than ever, shining with happiness and hugely pregnant with the baby girl due at the beginning of the new year. “For keeping me company while the guys were gone,” she continued. “For listening to all my ideas for my business plan, and reading my final paper so many times. For showing me that it’s possible to change your life. For bringing me to New Zealand, and for being such a good friend to me. I love you, Kristen. Almost as much as Liam does. You’re the best.”

“And to my parents,” she went on as best she could over the lump in her throat. “Thanks, Mom and Dad, for not giving up on me even when I disappointed you. I know it took a long time for me to grow up, and you must have wondered if it would ever happen. I hope I can make you proud.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Her mother was choking up too, Ally could tell. “You’ve always made us proud. Although,” she added with a watery laugh, reaching in her purse for a tissue, “I could wish that you hadn’t chosen to change your life from quite so far away.”

“You’ll just have to come visit more often,” Ally said firmly. “After two beach Christmases, you’re going to be too spoiled to stay in the snow anyway.”

“And to Georgia and Frank, of course,” she said next. “For doing such a good job being my surrogate parents this year, and making me feel so welcome. Thank you.”

“You know that’s been nothing but a pleasure, darling,” Georgia said.  

“She’s just happy to see Nate settled at last, that’s the truth of it,” Frank added gruffly.

Retirement suited them, Ally thought. Nate’s dad had seemed a bit lost at first, but he’d found a new calling in helping to coach one of the local rugby teams, and it was only a matter of time, she suspected, before he was elected president of the Gore Rugby Club. Some people just ended up in charge, no matter what, and Frank was one of them. And so was his son.

She looked down at Nate, sitting back, looking so proud, letting her have her moment, and lost a little more of her composure.

“I guess I’d better say the most important thing,” she decided. “Though I don’t even know how to start. Thanks for believing in me. Thanks for supporting me through this. Thanks,” and the tears were there now, refusing to be denied, “thanks for loving me.”

“Nah,” he said, and he was looking a bit rocky now too. “It’s the other way round, isn’t it. Though I do think I deserve one thing. I reckon I win ‘Most Improved’ in this relationship. Which means, as we all know, that I was rubbish at the start, and yet I’m still here, still giving it a go, and maybe not quite such rubbish anymore.”

“Congratulations, then.” She pulled him up with her, unable to resist giving him a quick kiss. Just because she loved him so much, and it had been such a long five weeks without him. “Mr. Most Improved.”

“And before I forget,” she added, “because it’s such a tiny little thing, we’ll just say congratulations on another successful European Tour. And what was that other thing? Oh, yeah. The Rugby Championship.”

“Think we both know which one was the real achievement. Because I wasn’t sure I’d make it.” His arms were around her now. “A couple times there, admit, you were ready to give up on me.”

“Never.” She put everything she had into it, because he needed to know this one thing for sure. “I’ll never give up on you. I may get mad at you from time to time, but I’ll never give up on you.”

“And, shoot.” She laughed a little, raised a hand to swipe at her eyes. “You’ve got me crying again, and this is the world’s longest speech. So,” she announced, lifting her glass from the shelter of Nate’s arms, “everybody, I’ll just say, thanks.”

“Am I done?” she begged him as everyone at the table raised their glasses in return. Everyone who mattered most to both of them. Everyone who needed to hear what he had to say next. “I don’t know how you do that. That’s
hard.”

“You’re almost done,” he promised. “Just got a bit of listening to do now. Because I’ve got one more thing to say.”

He took her glass from her, set it down with his own.

“This is going to be a tough one for me too,” he told her. “Hoping you’ll give me a pass if I stuff up. But you’ve done that so many times now, what’s one more?”

His heart began to pound as he took both her hands in his, turned her to face him. Beating harder than it had during the most important rugby game he’d ever played, because it was beating for her now, and she mattered more than anything ever had.

“Two years ago today,” he began, “I met you. And I made a pretty bad impression, and then I made a worse one. And after that,” he said with a smile for her that she returned, though her eyes had widened, and she didn’t seem to be breathing any too easily herself, “I
really
notched up a couple of Epic Fails.”

“And even though that day didn’t go too well,” he went on, trying to tell her with his eyes everything he held in his heart, “I’m glad for every single minute of it. Because meeting you was the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Can’t do this quite like Mako,” he said with a laugh that didn’t sound any too convincing. He saw the stillness that had settled over everyone at the table, and hoped he could get this right. “If I tried to sing, you’d be sure to say no. I’m going to do my best to say what I’m feeling, and hope that it’s enough. And it’s this. You’ve frustrated me like nobody ever has. You’ve got under my skin, and you’ve turned my head all the way around, and you’ve made me lose control. And you’ve made me happier than anybody ever has too. You’ve been the best thing in my life, and I need you so much. And I’m going to keep on needing you forever.”

“So,” he finished, and his voice wasn’t one bit steady anymore, and the hands holding hers were shaking. “What I’m trying to say is, I love you, and I’m asking you to marry me. I’m asking you to walk out of here with me and go find a ring that’s big enough and beautiful enough to say everything I can’t. Because two years with you isn’t nearly enough. Because I need it to be forever, and I need it to start here and now.”

“Oh, Nate.” She’d lost it entirely, the tears spilling down her cheeks, and he could see that his mum, and her mum, and Kristen, and Mel had all joined her, and that Mako wasn’t looking too steady either. And he hoped, he really hoped, that nobody was filming this, because he had a bad feeling that he might be crying too.

“Yes,” she managed to say at last. “Yes, I’ll marry you. Of course I will. But I have to ask.” She was laughing up at him through her tears, her brown eyes sparkling. His sweetheart. His one best thing. His Ally. “Two years? Exactly? How do you know?”

“How d’you think?” He laughed back at her, and he was holding her in his arms now. Holding her tight. Holding her in his heart, the way he would be every day. Every single day, until the day he died. “I calendared it.”

A Kiwi Glossary

A few notes about Maori pronunciation:

·
        
The accent is normally on the first syllable.