Just Breathe (18 page)

She shakes her head and I wait. I think she is doing the Jack thing, where I’m not going to get the whole story.

She answers, “At the time Jaspen was Seamus’closest friend and ally. Seamus created the possibility of a choice starting with your grandmother.”

She continues, “He did it as a gift for Jaspen.”

I ask, “So that is why I had a choice for this?” She nods and realizes I am on overload and shutting down.

She suggests I go and take a nap in one of the rooms. It is night now and my body is used to that time cycle. I wonder how you know what time it is under the sea, but I take her suggestion and head to the first room I can find.  The bed has a blanket the color of the ocean and I think about Jack’s eyes. Things would be so much easier to understand and handle if he were here. The void in my chest grows just thinking about him. I miss him so much.

19

Life in the Sea

When I wake Amber is sitting in the front room, reading a book. I walk in and plop down next to her, "What are you reading?"

She shows me the cover, Romeo and Juliet, one of my favorites.

I state, “One of the greatest.”

She looks up and nods, “This is my third go round with it.”

I smile and think maybe Amber and I are alike in a lot of ways.

I approach the Jack subject again, “Do you think I can see Jack anytime soon?” She sets her book down between us and looks up at me. I can see her eyes have changed to green. I’m starting to wonder if I like this family trait of the Tanners, the telltale of their moods, before they even speak.

She looks down and starts, “Ever, this whole situation is very delicate.”

I ask, “What do you mean, delicate?”

She tries to start to tell me something a couple of times, but I can tell she is struggling with what to say. Yet another Jack trait that I am finding a little annoying at the moment.

She gets up and tells me she needs a drink and asks if I would like anything. I tell her water would be great and then she’s gone into the other room.
Okay so what can be so hard to tell me…is Jack still missing…did Jack get hurt in this whole mess because of me
….My mind starts to wander and I don’t like the scenarios I conjure.

Amber comes back with water, hands it to me and sits down again.

She looks straight into my eyes and explains, “Ever, you truly aren’t supposed to be here. To put it bluntly, Jack was sent to make sure you chose to stay on land. Additionally, a message was sent to your Gam-aw, so she could assist and encourage you to stay put.”

I am a little surprised. Jack? It makes sense though…he was shocked, almost upset when I made the comment about choosing the sea. And Gam-aw, she tried really hard to convince me that I needed to stay on land. I’m starting to get mad at this point.
Here I am, so what does it matter anymore.

I tell her, “Well I made this choice whether a wrong one or not and here I am, so what now?"

She looks around the room as if trying to avoid my gaze at all costs. But I’m determined; I cross my arms and just stare at her.

Finally, her cloudy green eyes meet mine and she says with sincerity, “No one can know you are here. Jack sent word to me that you may make this choice and told me to check the beach for you yesterday. He was right. There you were just waiting for me. He also said you are very stubborn.”

I grin inwardly at that last remark, it sounds so like him.

I get that familiar ache and I ask, “Okay so he sent word to you, where is he and why can’t I see him?”

She looks at me with a downturned mouth, “Ever, Jack is in a rather precarious situation” My heart drops. My worst fears are coming true. She gets up to take our glasses away.

I tell her, “Tuesday was the last time I saw him, one minute he was at the lake with me and the next he and two Erebus boys were gone, as if they disappeared into thin air.”

She nods, “Then he must still be with the Erebus.”

I start to panic asking with a shaky voice, “Will they hurt him?”

She shakes her head with a confused look. “No, I’m fairly certain they won’t.”

She turns to look at me and tells me, “It is very important that Seamus does not find out that you are here. It will be very bad for me and Jack if he finds out.”

I’m starting to feel very uncomfortable because from the looks of it, my Gam-aw’s ex is still heartbroken so he could be dangerous to me, and for some reason my great grandfather can’t know I’m here. Now I am truly wondering if I did make the right choice. Where is Jack, he is my only reason for being here.

I tell her as I stand up, “Well apparently being here is a bad situation all around, but here I am, so let’s make the best of it and find Jack.

She laughs, “Jack said you are determined but I didn’t realize…” I smile at that, maybe I won’t get resistance like I thought.

She comes to face me and says, “First things first, if you are going to be of any help finding my brother, then we need to get you comfortable with the water.”

At her last words the room starts to fill with water again. I look at her panicked.  She smiles and reminds me, “Remember, ‘will’ your fin.” I nod.
Okay think. fin…no legs…fin.

The room is almost completely full and I am treading water almost touching the ceiling and I still have legs. Amber is gone; she has disappeared into the water below. I focus…fin, fin, fin, then I think about Jack and see his amazing, brilliant eyes and suddenly I’m not treading anymore. I duck down into the water and examine the fin that has replaced my legs. The transparent scales are incredibly beautiful and sparkling with the movement of the water. They almost glitter; I can’t take my eyes away from my new appendage. I hear laughing and look up, Amber is laughing at my amazement.

She giggles, “I guess I didn’t give you a chance to enjoy it before. Did I?” I shake my head staring and admiring.

She tells me, “Listen Ever, we need to keep a low profile when we swim through the city. I am going to take us around the outskirts, so we can practice.”

I look up suddenly and ask, “Practice?”

My voice sounds mesmerizing to my ears as I speak in the water, almost as if I am humming the words. This new world is going to take some getting used to.

She giggles again at my response to my voice, “Yes, you need to practice and become more acclimated to the sea. Everything underwater is more deliberate if you will. Everything you hear, see, smell, taste, and feel will be more heightened and affect you more than on land.”

I stare wide eyed.  I have a lot of practicing to do; glancing back at my fin, which I can’t believe is a part of me.

She starts swimming toward the door. It opens for her before she can touch it and I see the water beyond. It is so amazingly beautiful. She takes off and swims left when she leaves the dwelling. I quickly follow. The fin is amazing, it pushes me so fast and I put forth so little effort to keep up. As I glance around, I notice this is not the way we came in yesterday. The dwellings start to change. As we swim they become smaller and look less iridescent than the ones around Amber’s. The colors turn to more muted browns and greens. I also notice there are very few mer-people in the water in this direction.

I speed up, so that I am swimming next to Amber and I ask, “Where are all the people?”

She glances at me and states, “This area is where, how do you say it on land, less gifted mer-people reside.”

I say, “Oh.”

I let myself drift back behind her, so I can focus on my surroundings. As we swim, the dwellings start to have more space between them until finally we slow down and stop in what looks like a field of sea grasses. It takes my breath away, as far as you can see ahead of us is sprawling green sea grass dancing back and forth with the sway of the water.

Amber turns around and says with anticipation, “Okay, let’s see what you can do.”

I must have a confused look on my face because she elaborates, “All mer-people have ‘wills’ but we each have different ones.”

I say, “Jack…”

I have to stop because I’m not used to the tone of my voice under the water. It sounds so musical.

Amber laughs again, “Did Jack share his wills with you?”

I nod and explain, “He showed me his hands and moved a large stone without touching it.”

She agrees, “Yes, because we were born in the sea and have always been here, we have few ‘wills’. You on the other hand, should have more, being from both worlds.”

I’m so confused at this point, but I assent anyway, “Alright, tell me what to do.”

She faces me and puts her hands on my shoulders. I see the blue pass over the green in her eyes and I think of Jack.

She explains, “You need to relax, close your eyes and focus. The first thing I want you to do is feel the sea around you, become part of it, focus on the feel of it and the sounds around you.”

I close my eyes and picture the color blue. I sway with the water around me and I listen for the grasses around us. When I open my eyes a few minutes later, I look around and we are surrounded by a perfect circle of sand where the sea grasses have disappeared. I am shocked, then I look at Amber and she has a huge grin on her face.

I ask, “Did I do that?”

She nods excitedly, “What else can you do, I’ve never seen that before.”

I shrug my shoulders and close my eyes again to focus on the water around us. Suddenly, I feel little pin pricks touching my arms all over, so I open my eyes and a huge school of silver fish are swimming around us. Amber raises her eyebrows.

She exclaims, “Wow, you can summon other sea animals, try for something bigger.”

I look at her confused and ask, “Bigger?”

“Yes, something larger than these tiny fish.”

And she swirls around in a circle for effect. I close my eyes once more and focus. When I open them a couple of minutes later, I hear her gasp, swimming towards us is a huge great white shark. She turns with a mischievous grin on her face.

I am panicked at this point and I ask, “Should we start swimming the other away?”

She laughs, “No Ever, on land a shark may be a threat to someone swimming in the ocean for leisure, but a shark is no match for you now.” I nod at her, mesmerized as the shark swims right past me almost glancing my shoulder.

I suddenly feel tired again as if I could take a day long nap.

Amber sees this because she tells me, “After exerting your ‘wills’ you may feel really tired, especially after your first time using them. We will practice a little bit more and then head back so you can rest.”

I ask, “So what’s next?”

“Let’s see if you can do the usual."

She explains, “Most mer-people can move things without touching them and have lighted hands.”

I look down at my hands and ask her, “How does it work?”

She reminds me, “Remember, you just have to focus and think about it.”

So I look at my hands and think about lights coming out of them, nothing happens. I try again but close my eyes and remember the little rays, coming from Jack’s fingers the first time I saw him. I open my eyes and my fingers have a dull glow emanating from them.

Amber giggles, “We’ll have to work on that one.”

She says, “Okay last one, moving something without touching it.This one is going to really drain you.”