Just A Step Away (Closer) (7 page)

             
As I turned to head back up to the house, Lucas’ fingers wrapped around my wrist, stilling me in place.

             
“We need to talk about earlier, Lanie.”  

             
“There’s nothing to talk about.” I shook my head. “It was a...a mistake.”

             
I chanced a look into his eyes and my heart dropped when I did. Pain stretched across his features, and I wanted to take it back. Every word. But I couldn’t because it was the truth. It had been a mistake, the heat of the moment.

             
His lips parted a fraction and I was nearly on pins and needles for what he might say next.

When he didn’t say anything for a few seconds, I tilted my head back and softly placed my palm on his cheek. I looked into his eyes, determined to give him the truth. “I’m sorry, Sparky...but we can’t. You’re one of my best friends and I won’t jeopardize that. I won’t lose you.”

             
Lucas stayed quiet when I turned to head back to the house. I wrapped my arms around my chest and left my best friend in the darkness behind me, feeling like the jackass of the century.

Chapter 10

~Lanie~

I laid in bed, tossing and turning, for what seemed like hours. I tried to process everything that had happened between Lucas and I but nothing made sense. Nothing at all.

Back when I had first met him, Lucas had proved himself to be the ultimate playboy.

             
My mind wandered back to his touch and the way his lips sizzled against my skin. His tongue as it ran up the shell of my ear, and his hands as they pressed into my hips with sweet urgency. The more and more I thought about Lucas’ hands on my body, the larger the urge to touch myself grew. I pulled in a ragged breath and looked around the dimly lit room, making sure the door was closed. A dull ache formed in the pit of my belly, spinning a vicious web of need.

             
I knew what I needed and for a minute I wished that a certain pretend-boyfriend had been the one taking care of my
itch
.

             
I lazily ran my fingertips between my breasts, wanting to feel something more. The need I felt consumed, ate away at me. It had been so long since I had felt any kind of intimacy that is was beginning to drive me insane.

             
A light knocking on my bedroom door startled me out of my thoughts. I quickly composed myself and got out of bed.

             
“Hold on.” I slipped on my robe and headed for the door. My mother was standing on the other side with a knowing look on her face. “Hey, Mama, what’s up?”

             
She smiled sweetly and held up a folded piece of paper in between her fingers. I eyed it a fraction. Whatever was written on it had her giddy as all get out.

             
“Willard dropped this off before he left. Said it was for you.” She smiled a cheeky grin. “I looked at it a minute. I think it’s from your boyfriend.
He seems like a really nice young man, Lanie Pie.”

             
Yep. She was up to something. My mother was never good at keeping secrets, or withholding information at all. When I got my period for the first time, she baked me a cake and threw an impromptu party in Aunt Flo’s honor.

             
I smiled at her and held out my hand. “Thank you, Mama.”

             
“Not so fast, Lanie Pie,” she said, retracting the small note. A ghost of a smile pulled at the corners of her mouth, and I knew what was next. “Are you using protection, baby?”

             
“Mom!”

             
“Now hear me out. If you’re using one of those sponge things or those damn pesticides…”

             
“Mama! Stop. Just stop,” I said, cringing at the idea of having this conversation with her.
             
“And it’s spermicide, not pesticide. Now can I please have the note?”

             
“All I’m saying, baby, is that—”

             
“I know what you’re saying, Mama, and it isn’t happening, at least not right now.”

             
My mother’s expression changed and a bit of irritation replaced that of hope.

             
“Your cooter is gonna dry up and then what?” she said with a fierce look in her eyes before grabbing at my shoulders. “No grandbabies! And, Lanie Pie, I need a grandbaby.”

             
“Okay, Mama,” I said, holding my hand out, desperate to stop her crazy tirade and get her out of my room. “I’ll see what I can stir up. The note, please”

             
A smile lit up her face. She handed me the piece of paper and gave me a kiss on my cheek. “Now don’t keep that boy waiting.”

             
As she headed down the hallway, I opened the folded note and my breath hitched, lodged in my throat, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

             
“We need to talk. Meet me in the barn at ten”,
was all the note read.

             
A fire instantly lit under my ass and, without thinking it through, I slid my flip-flops on and headed downstairs. Something was pulling me, beckoning me, and I couldn’t make myself stop. Truth be told, I didn’t want to stop. Curiosity had gotten the better of me.

             
As I reached the bottom of the staircase, I tiptoed as quietly as possible to the kitchen, hoping I wouldn’t be heard or noticed. It was an epic fail.

             
“Be careful walking out there, Lanie Pie, and don’t forget to throw away them pesticides!”

             
The moon was full and wild with light as I went searching for Lucas. I grabbed both sides of my small, silk robe, holding it closed and shutting the door behind me.

             
The crickets and frogs were singing a beautiful chorus as I stepped cautiously through the yard. I walked in the direction where I left Lucas and heard nothing. By this time of night, Willard would’ve either been drunk off his ass, trying to set something on fire, or passed out face down, ass up. The last time I found my idiot brother that way, his friends had wedged a hot dog between his butt cheeks. It was a horrible thing to witness. I shuddered at the memory.

             
I continued down the dirt path until I noticed a small light flicker in the barn off to the left. He was in there. And the fact that he was waiting for me to come to him excited me ridiculously. It caught me by surprise, although by that point, I should have expected it.

             
Getting closer, my thoughts traveled back to my bedroom. His touch, his breath, his lips, everything about him consumed me. My palms began to sweat and tingle traveled around my belly when I felt heat surface between my legs.

             
I had to stop. I needed a minute to put my emotions in check. I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. As much as I tried to will all of the feelings I felt aside, it was a fail.

             
The barn was dark as I entered, except for a small flicker of light. It was coming from near one of the stalls. I had no clue where Lucas was, and his note was vague at best.

             
“Didn’t think you were coming.”

             
I quickly grabbed at my chest. But the feeling of nearly having a heart attack subsided when I looked at Lucas. He absolutely took my breath away, standing in front of me shirtless, wearing only a faded pair of jeans that hung low on his hips. His shoes and socks were even gone, and his hair was a haphazard mess. I could even smell his woodsy, earthy cologne from a few feet away. I let my eyes rake over his sun-kissed, tanned skin. My nipples were rock hard, and that heat between my legs intensified, almost burning.

             
“We need to talk, Lanie.”

             
Talk? Was he insane? I couldn’t speak. Not one word. All I could do was ogle.

             
Yes, he took my fucking breath away.

             
“That’s what your note said.” I tried to calm my thundering heart, and tightened the robe even tighter around myself. “What did you want to talk about?”

             
My eyes widened and my breath nearly stopped when Lucas slowly walked toward me. I’d never felt so many things about one person as I did with him. And I hated myself for even going there. If I were to tell him how I really felt about him, I feared that he would run, that our friendship would crumble. I couldn’t lose him. I
wouldn’t
.

             
“You. Us.” Lucas stopped only inches from my body. “That’s what I want to talk about.”

             
Us? What the hell was he talking about? I had a pretty good idea, and Lord help me, if that man brought up sex while standing there, looking like
that
, after what he did to me up in my room…I was going to jail for sexual assault. There was no way I wasn’t.

             
“Okay,” I said, feeling like a stone was lodged in my throat. “What—” He shook his head, stopping me from speaking any further.

             
The corner of Lucas’ mouth lifted in a lopsided grin, and just that simple action made me want to kiss him with every ounce of my being. His gaze landed on my mouth and then came back up to look me in the eyes. My traitorous body succumbed. I was done for as every pore screamed out to me. I felt the need deep, everywhere.

             
“Well…” he said, lifting a finger to move a stray lock of hair that had fallen in my face, placing it behind my ear. A visible shudder rocked through my body. “…I want you to tell me something. The truth. Okay?”

             
I thought for a moment and wondered what he could be referring to. What could he possibly want to know that I hadn’t already shared with him?

             
“Okay.” My voice was small from the fear I felt right then, but I didn’t let it stop me. I straightened my back and readied myself. “What do you want to know?”

             
With a pointed look, Lucas wasted no time. “How do you feel about me? The truth.”

             
I pressed my lips together, refusing to say anything. I knew what he was asking, and I just didn’t have the balls to analyze what I was suddenly feeling for him out loud. I’d never given him any sign that we were more than friends…until that trip that is. The last day had been nothing but full of mixed signals from the two of us.

             
“Tell me…Lanie…now.” Lucas moved impossibly closer to me. Just his nearness drew the breath from my lungs, and my lips parted. But his scent lingered, and it was all too much. “Tell. Me.”

             
“I don’t—” Lucas’ chest rose and fell heavily in fast succession. The muscles in his neck flexed with each clench of his jaw. I felt a light sheen of moisture blanket my neck. I was suffocated.

             
His hard stare never faltered as he looked into my eyes. I was speechless.

He nodded and looked toward the dirt floor. “All right, since you seem so tongue tied, I’m going take the plunge here and you’re going to listen.”

             
Blood rushed through my veins, and I felt like I could pass out. He was so close, so, so close. His hot, minty breath wafted across my face. I closed my eyes. I wanted to remember it, save it for later.

             
“Look at me, Lanie.”

I did, without hesitation. My eyes traveled from his thick, defined jaw line, to his full, plump lips, all the way up to his sinful gaze. It was all I could do not crawl out of my own skin from sheer desire. It scared the hell out of me. All of it.

             
“I’m listening,” I said, trying not to hyperventilate.

             
My eyes again flickered to his mouth as he slowly ran his tongue across his bottom lip. He was staring at my own lips, his chest still heaving. It was erotic as hell. This I couldn’t deny.

             
“Have you ever felt so deeply about something you wanted but knew you were going to have to fight to the ends of the earth to get it?” I was about to answer Lucas’ question but he held up his hand to stop me, shaking his head. “Well, I’ve felt that. I feel it now, like nothing I’ve ever felt before. The pull is so fucking strong that sometimes I can’t even fucking breathe, Lanie. Do you understand?”

             
I did. I didn’t. Hell, I had no damn clue what was going on. He was being cryptic and it was annoying as hell. But I nodded my head so he would just continue.

             
“The moment I laid eyes on you, I was a fucking goner.” His eyes fell to the ground. “You…I can’t anymore, Lanie. I just can’t.”

             
My brows bunched in the middle, and I was starting to get scared. Had I done something? “Whatever I did, Sparky,” I blurted out, my eyes wildly searching his face. “I’m sor—”

             
“That’s just it, you didn’t do anything. Well, nothing you were aware you were doing,” he said. My breath hitched when he brought both of his hands up on either side of my head and placed them on the wall. When he brought his gaze up to meet mine, I nearly melted at the smoldering look in his eyes. Something in that moment had change. “I’m going to say something to you, Lanie, and if you run from me I will pack my shit and move out because nothing in this world will be worse than that.”

             
Fear settled deep in my belly. Move out? What in the hell?

             
“Sparky, please? Move out?”

             
“Just listen, okay?”

             
I panicked. I wasn’t sure what the hell had shifted between us, why he was saying these things. Move out? No. He couldn’t move out. I wouldn’t let him. I needed him. He was—

             
“Fuck it.”