Julia London 4 Book Bundle (78 page)

Without warning, he abruptly lifted his head, leaving her dizzy. “I can’t live without you, my sweet, for I swear I’ll perish! There is only one way for us,” he murmured between a rain of kisses to her face. “You know what it is.” When she didn’t immediately respond, his fingers curled painfully into her shoulder. “Don’t disappoint me,
Sophie, not after I have ridden like a madman to fetch you. You know what we must do!”

“But … but I
don’t
,” she whispered hoarsely.

William suddenly let go of her. “
Think
, Sophie! Kettering will never give his consent … 
but you can
.”

“
Me
?” she squeaked.

“You’ll be one and twenty shortly.…”

Her heart climbed to her throat. “William, I
can’t
, not without—”

“I thought you loved me,” he said flatly, and shaking his head, turned away. “You lied to me.”

“No! No, William, I
do
love you!” she said desperately. “But I cannot defy Julian in such a way!”

“I see. You would defy
me
, but not him? I mean nothing to you!”

“Please don’t say that,” she cried, feeling suddenly weak with confusion and frustration. “I love you, William! But I don’t know what to do!”

He whirled around, grabbed her arm. “Come to Gretna Green with me. Now. Right away. We don’t
need
his permission! You are of age; if you sign this,” he said, pulling a folded paper from his coat, “there is nothing he can do! If you love me, Sophie, you will marry me now. I swear to God he will come to accept it much quicker if the deed is already done!”

Stunned, she stared at the papers he held. It was enticing and exciting to think she could marry William now, without delay. Yet something in her warned that to do so—to
elope
—would be disastrous. Julian would kill her. “I … I don’t know,” she said uncertainly.

In a flurry of black, William was suddenly on his knees before her, his hands clutching the side of her skirts as he pressed his face into her gown. “
Please
, Sophie! I love you! I cannot live without you, don’t you understand? I shall do something desperate, I swear to God I shall if I am forced to live without you even one more day!”

Sophie’s heart took wing of her senses. Tears slipped from her eyes as she bent over his head. “
Oh, William
,” she sobbed. “Yes, yes, I will do it!”

“Hurry, love,” he urged her, coming to his feet. “Don’t speak to anyone. Just run and gather a few things. Be
quick
. If they know what you are about, they will try and stop you. I will wait for you outside.
Hurry!
”

He shoved her forward.

Sophie slipped into the corridor, almost colliding with Miss Brillhart. The housekeeper was deathly pale. “Lady Sophie? Who is the gentleman caller?” she asked, looking anxiously at the door Sophie had just come through.

“Um … an old friend. Please excuse me, I’ve a terrible headache,” she lied, and pushed past, unable to look her old governess in the eye.

“Lady Sophie!” Miss Brillhart called after her, but Sophie was already sprinting down the corridor. In her rooms, she grabbed a small bag and stuffed two gowns into it, a cotton night shift, and two pairs of drawers. Frantic, she glanced around the room.
What did one take when one eloped
? There was no time for it! Miss Brillhart appeared in the doorway, her chest heaving with the exertion of having run up two flights of stairs. “My lady, please!” she rasped. “What are you doing?”

Wild with excitement, Sophie shoved Miss Brillhart aside and ran. In the foyer, she paused only long enough to grab a cloak and throw it about her shoulders.

“
My lady!
” Miss Brillhart shrieked.

With a start, Sophie whirled around, clutching her valise in both hands.

Flanked by two footmen, Miss Brillhart held her hands out to Sophie. “My lady,
think
of what you are doing!” she begged, taking one tentative step. “Think of the shame you will bring to your brother’s good name! You can’t do this!”

“I
can
do this!” Sophie shouted, feeling strangely victorious. “I will follow my heart and
not
his convention! Love will prevail, Miss Brillhart!” The housekeeper made a sudden move, and in a moment of terror, Sophie threw the valise at her as she whirled and dashed through the door. William was mounted and waiting for her; he yanked her up behind him and sent the horse galloping
down the drive. Clinging tightly to him, Sophie glanced over her shoulder to see a handful of bewildered servants and a very pale Miss Brillhart watching them flee.

In London, the rash was festering in Julian, slowly destroying him. He stared blindly at the document in front of him, unable to read it. Claudia had rent him in two, cruelly dividing him between betrayal and longing. Part of him hated her for misjudging him so completely and without cause. Another part despised her for making him mad with desire every time he looked at her. But there wasn’t any part of him that could forget what she had done to Sophie—it was the final blow to his battered heart.

He had sworn to his dying father that he would keep the girls safe, and having failed miserably with Valerie, he’d be damned if he would fail with Sophie. Claudia had betrayed him in the most heinous way imaginable by trespassing onto ground she had no right to enter. Her meddling had forced him to take drastic measures he had not wanted to take, and for all he knew, thanks to her, Sophie’s reputation was already in tatters.

It was not something he could easily forgive.

This marriage, he thought bitterly, had come to an inevitable end. It was only a question of how.

When Tinley showed a bedraggled footman from Kettering Hall into his library, Julian could see that he had ridden like a desperate man and immediately expected the worst—she was dead, just like Valerie and Phillip. Somehow, he forced himself to take the note from the footman. Somehow, he calmly retrieved his spectacles from his coat pocket, and carefully placed them on the bridge of his nose before he opened the note. A crumpled piece of paper fluttered to the floor but he ignored it, scanning Miss Brillhart’s neat handwriting. He did not hear Claudia come in, heard nothing but the rush of blood in his head.

She might as well be dead
.

He stooped to pick up the piece of paper that had fallen and recognized Claudia’s handwriting.

“Dear God, what is it?”

Slowly, Julian lifted his head and turned to look at her angelic face. The note was the thing that would at last drive him into the den of madness, consume his soul … break his heart. It was far worse than he could have imagined, the absolute living death of his sweet, sweet Sophie. Never, not once, had he believed she would do this.

He extended his arm, both of the damning notes in his hand. Claudia’s eyes, shimmering with fear, flicked to the notes, then back to him. When he made no move, she slowly came forward and took the papers from him. Impassive, he watched her read them, watched her hand press against her abdomen as she looked at the note penned in her own hand, and the other—still clutching Miss Brillhart’s note—cover her mouth and her silent scream.

He turned away and strolled to the window, looked out over St. James Square. He had failed Sophie, miserably and irrevocably. By law, she probably already belonged to Stanwood, and there was nothing he could do for her.
Nothing
. Never in his life had he felt so bloody powerless or alone. And while he stood gazing thoughtfully out the window, the discomfort quietly began to choke the life from him.
Let it
.

It was Claudia’s sobs that filtered through his consciousness; he turned to look at her standing in the middle of the room, crying silently into her hand. And he calmly walked out of the library, away from the sound of her guilt.

J
ULIAN
W
ENT
I
N
search of Sophie, ignoring Victor and Louis’s advice against it and their warnings that it was too late. He returned to London more than a week after he left, arriving at sunset. The family was waiting for him, gathered in the gold salon as they had done every night since receiving the news of Sophie’s elopement. Claudia hardly noticed them—she had been too consumed with guilt and frantic with worry for Julian. Never had she seen a man look so haunted or despondent as he had when he left.

When the footman opened the door to the salon to give Julian entry, everyone came anxiously to their feet. Only Tinley seemed not to notice, doing something at the sideboard that obviously fascinated him far more than his master’s arrival. Behind them all, Claudia rose slowly from her seat at the writing table.

Julian strolled into the room, loosening his neckcloth. His gaze swept over them all, passing her as if she did not exist. His nieces, oblivious to the tension in the room, jumped from the settee and rushed forward to greet him.

“Jeannine, my love, what a beautiful frock!” he exclaimed, picking her up to place a kiss on her cheek.

“Mine is new, too!” complained Dierdre.

“And how terribly elegant you look!” he said, as if he had just come down for supper, and lifted Dierdre for a kiss. He put the girl down, absently ran his hand over the crowns of their heads. “I did not find her,” he announced
flatly, and looked up at his sisters. Claudia’s heart sank; wordlessly, she lowered herself onto her chair and looked to the window.
God
, how the guilt gnawed at her.

“Julian,” Louis said quietly. “Sophie is in London. Stanwood sent word, requesting an audience on the morrow.”

A glimmer of hope scudded across Julian’s rugged face. “They are in London? Are they—”

“
Oui
,” Louis quickly answered, knowing full well what he was about to ask.

For a moment, Julian looked almost nauseated, but quickly turned away from them. “Then it is over. There is nothing we can do.”

“No, nothing,” Victor muttered.

He moved to the sideboard, his shoulders stooped with fatigue as if he carried some enormous burden. “A whiskey, Tinley,” he said tightly, “and a strong one at that.” He glanced over his shoulder at Louis. “Did he say
where
in London?” he asked, his voice biting.

“
Non, rien
.”

“Of course not,” he muttered angrily. “The bastard knows too well that I would come for him if only I knew
where!
” His jaw clenched, and he jerked his head toward Tinley, who had made no move to pour him a drink. “A bloody
whiskey
, Tinley! Can’t your addled brain comprehend even that?” he bellowed.

Claudia gasped softly; the girls stopped fidgeting and looked at their uncle in horror.
“Julian!”
Eugenie whispered anxiously, but Tinley merely looked at him. “It can, my lord,” he said indifferently, and reached for the decanter.

“My apologies, old chap,” Julian muttered, and stalked away from the sideboard, inadvertently catching Claudia’s gaze. His black eyes suddenly riveted on her, the hatred in them boring a hole right through her. He abruptly looked away, falling gracelessly into an armchair, his legs sprawled in front of him. Tinley appeared at his side, offering the whiskey on a small silver tray. Julian took the little glass and tossed the contents down
his throat. “Again,” he said hoarsely, handing the glass to Tinley.

As the butler shuffled away, Julian motioned for them all to be seated. “I looked everywhere, in every village between Kettering and Scotland, it seems.”

“Oh, Julian,” said Eugenie, “you mustn’t blame yourself. It was Sophie’s doing.”

He sliced an impatient glance across his sister before shifting his gaze to Claudia. “I don’t blame myself,” he said meaningfully.

Oh no, he blamed her, and she deserved his disdain.

“We had no idea she was so headstrong—she was always so very shy!” Ann exclaimed helplessly.

“She is not headstrong, she lacks confidence. When one lacks confidence, one is easy to exploit,” Julian corrected her.

“What will you do?” Louis asked.

Julian snorted, rubbed the back of his neck. “What the hell
can
I do? Once she took her vows and signed the betrothal papers, she became his. I rather doubt an annulment can be obtained now”—he paused to bestow an impatient frown on Eugenie for her demure gasp—“I know of no other course open to me.”

“Divorce,” Claudia mumbled, and blanched, shocked that she had actually said it aloud.

Eugenie closed her eyes; Ann sucked in a sharp breath and whipped around to her. “Absolutely
not!
” she exclaimed heatedly. “She is already ruined by this scandal, and we cannot allow the rest of us to be ruined along with her! Divorce is out of the question!”

“Yes, out of the question,” Eugenie echoed, rubbing her fingers into her temples. “It would scandalize the Kettering name across all of Britain! Besides, Sophie has no grounds for it. She must prove cruelty or insanity or something equally ridiculous.”

Frustrated, Claudia looked to Julian. He glared at her as he took the second whiskey Tinley brought and nodded the butler’s dismissal.

“You can refuse to dower her,” Victor suggested.

Julian nodded. “I will not dower her. But as you and Louis know, Victor, my father’s will provides the girls an annuity. Sophie’s annuity begins on her twenty-first birthday. In a matter of days, Stanwood will have it. And I am loath to fight it, even if I could. The scoundrel is penniless, and that annuity is the only means he will have of providing for her.”

A silence descended over the room, save for the two little girls squirming restlessly on the settee. Louis stood up. “Then there is no more to be said today. Come,
chérie
, we take our leave,” he said, gesturing to Eugenie. “We shall meet this blackguard on the morrow.”

Eugenie rose obediently, ushering her daughters along ahead of her. Ann and Victor followed suit. Julian made no move to stop them. Eugenie paused to place her hand on his shoulder. “I am so sorry, Julian, but you must know that you couldn’t have done anything to prevent this from happening.”