Julia London 4 Book Bundle (74 page)

The fear paralyzed her tongue. Stumbling to her feet, she moved awkwardly to her bed and clutched at the hangings.

“Answer me!” he demanded, and she realized he had moved closer. Her grip tightened on the hangings, and she desperately sought a way out, a plausible lie—

“You were with Stanwood. In spite of the fact that you have been forbidden to see him, you were with him, in front of my house.”

He had seen them.
The floor seemed to shift under her feet and Sophie’s grip on the bed hangings slipped. She stumbled, landing on the edge of the bed. Julian was suddenly towering over her, glaring down at her with eyes as black and as hard as coal. “You have disobeyed me one time too many, Sophie,” he breathed angrily. “You and I leave for Kettering Hall at once.”

That single pronouncement verbalized her worst nightmare. “
No
, Julian!” she cried frantically. “You don’t understand! William
loves
me!”

Something flared in his eyes, and he roughly grabbed her shoulders. “Stanwood does not
love
you, Sophie! He loves your bloody
fortune!
” he roared.

Hot tears spilled from her eyes, blinding her, and Sophie shoved helplessly against his chest. “Yes, he
does
love me! Why won’t you believe a man like William could love me?”

Julian stilled; his grip on her arm slackened. “My God, Sophie,” he muttered hoarsely. “Have you no more esteem for yourself than that?”

Esteem for herself
? With a groan of pain, Sophie
struggled out of his grip and stumbled away from the bed. Julian had no idea what her life was like. He was a man, he was handsome, he was a wealthy earl to whom women flocked like geese. He had no idea what it was to be the youngest sister of such an earl, the plainest and dullest of them all, the one who had to be sent to finishing school if there was to be any hope of a decent offer for her. She knew that the men Aunt Violet brought around to court her were appropriately pedigreed, but were not considered prize catches among the
ton
. But William—
William made
her feel desirable and alive. He loved her! And Julian would deny her love for the sake of a proper pedigree!

His hand was on her shoulder. “Sophie, darling, there are many other lads who—”

“No!” she cried, shrugging his hand off. “No, Julian! I love William!”

“Be that as it may,” he said hoarsely, “I cannot sit by and allow that blackguard to ruin you. I have no choice—I forbade you and you expressly defied me. I gave you my trust and you betrayed me. I have no choice but to take you away from here before you are ruined.”

The fear was suddenly strangling her. “
No!
” she sobbed, and whirled around to face him. “You
can’t
send me away! I shall die there! Oh, Julian, I beg of you, do not send me away—I swear I won’t see him again, I swear it on Valerie’s grave!” she begged hysterically. “Just don’t send me to Kettering Hall!”

Julian hesitated only a moment before he shook his head. “You leave me no choice, Sophie. I cannot trust you, and as I am responsible for your health and safety, I will do what I must. There will be no more discussion of it. Get ready to leave,” he said tightly, and turned on his heel, striding for the door.

Terrified, Sophie watched his retreat.
“Julian, please!”
she screamed.

He paused at the door; through the blur of her tears, she saw his shoulders sag and for one insane moment, she hoped. “We depart in an hour,” he muttered, and walked
out of her room, ignoring her as she collapsed on the floor in despair, sobbing uncontrollably.

The laudanum had helped Claudia to sleep, and when she awoke, she felt much improved—enough to contemplate joining Julian for supper. Perhaps she was feeling altogether a bit too sentimental, but when he had wrapped his arms around her this afternoon, she had felt secure, almost as if nothing could touch her there—
death
could not touch her in his arms. But the glimmer of comfort, both physical and emotional, had ended so soon.
Too
soon. Yes, well, if it hadn’t been for her little display of tears and self-pity, he might have stayed.

Claudia paused in the brushing of her hair to frown at her reflection. No doubt he thought her very silly, crying and carrying on like that. In truth, she hardly knew Ellie at all, but she had grieved as if the woman was her very own sister. Slowly, she resumed the brushing of her hair, swearing that she would not be so sullen, when Sophie burst into her suite, her face streaked with tears. Claudia started with great surprise. “Oh,
Claudia
!” Sophie wailed, and hurled herself across the room, landing at Claudia’s feet to bury her face in her lap.

Tendrils of dread coiled around Claudia’s heart. “Dear God, what has
happened
?”

“Mercy save me, it’s
Julian!
” the girl cried into her lap.

The tendrils were suddenly squeezing the very life from her. Panicked, she roughly forced Sophie’s head up. “
What
of Julian? What has happened to him?”

Sophie gave a feeble shake of her head. “
Nothing
has happened to him—he is a
beast!
”

A strong wave of relief flooded her. She realized she was clutching the sides of Sophie’s head in something of a death grip. “Calm yourself, Sophie. Take a deep breath and tell me what has happened,” she said evenly, lowering her hands.

“I
hate
him, I swear I do! He’s
horrid
—he says … he
says I must go to Kettering Hall! He would banish me before he would see me happy!” Sophie cried hysterically. “He knows about William, and he means to
banish
me!”

So Julian had at last discovered his sister’s affections for a mere baronet. It seemed terribly harsh of him to react in such a way—how could he make Sophie cry so wretchedly?

“You promised you would help me if you could,” Sophie continued raggedly. “You are the only one to whom I can turn now!
Please
speak with him, Claudia! He won’t listen to me! You
must
speak with him! I … I cannot go to Kettering, I will
perish
there, I swear it!”

“Is his objection Stanwood’s rank? Is it nothing more than that?”

Sniffing loudly, Sophie nodded, and Claudia felt the old burn of indignation in her. It was perfectly all right for a
man
to take whomever he wanted to his bed or the altar, but the moment a
woman
thought to look past her narrow little world, the entire British aristocracy was suddenly shaking at its very foundation! Stanwood was a
baronet
, for God’s sake, not a murderer or a highwayman, and Julian would deny his sister the chance to marry the man she adored for the sake of his bloody propriety! “I will speak with him,” she assured Sophie.

“I
knew
you would! You can make him change his mind!”

Claudia wasn’t so certain about that. As furious as she was for Sophie, English law made Julian’s word final. If she could not persuade him to let Sophie follow her heart, there were few options available to Sophie to fight him, much less any that would not embroil her deeply in scandal. Having been in a similarly precarious situation, Claudia’s heart went out to her sister-in-law, and she gingerly laid a hand against her wet cheek. “I will talk to him, Sophie. I will do everything in my power to persuade him that he cannot dismiss your feelings in this. I shall speak to him tonight—”

“
Now!
” Sophie shrieked, clearly on the verge of crumbling with anxiety.

Claudia eased Sophie back so that she could stand. “Very well, I shall speak with him now.”

With a great sigh of relief, Sophie threw her head back and closed her eyes. “Thank you, Claudia! I know you will convince him—
you must convince him!
”

God in heaven, she hoped that she could—she could not bear to think what Sophie might do if she failed.

She found Julian in the small blue drawing room on the third floor, poring over one of several musty leather-bound books stacked around him, so engrossed in the tome that he did not hear her enter. Claudia paused at the threshold, gazing at him. His round, wire-rimmed spectacles were perched precariously on his nose; a thick strand of ink black hair swept across his brow, dipping over his eye. The faint shadow of a beard covered his jaw … which was bulging with the angry clench of his teeth.

She must have moved, because he suddenly looked up, and for one brief, fleeting moment, his heart shone in his eyes. But he quickly dropped his gaze to the book again. “You are feeling much improved, I see.”

“Yes, I … thank you.” She faltered, feeling suddenly awkward, as if she was indeed intruding. She took several steps forward and clasped her hands behind her back. “If I may … might I have a word?”

Julian glanced up again, his black gaze swiftly running over her. “Yes?”

“It’s about Sophie,” she began, and Julian surprised her by slamming shut the book he held in his lap.

“Save your breath, Claudia. I am ill-disposed to discuss that little half-wit at the moment.” With a scowl, he tossed the leather-bound volume onto the stack with the others.

“All right,” she said carefully, and walked to the hearth where she pretended to look at a china vase.

“All right? That’s it? Surely there was more you wanted to say,” he snapped irritably.

Claudia stole a glance at him—he had folded his arms tightly across his chest. She had never seen him so angry
and swallowed past a lump of sudden nerves. “Yes, there is more.”

He snorted disdainfully. “Naturally there is. Well, then? Let’s have this over with, shall we? Plead Sophie’s case. Go on, then, Claudia—you wanted to tell me what a heartless cad I am, how it is her
right
to foolishly do as she pleases!”

Short-tempered and sarcastic, too, she thought uneasily. If there was one thing consistent about her husband, it was that he was always pleasant—roguish, but charmingly pleasant all the same. She took a steadying breath. “I merely wanted to inquire …”

“Yes?” he snapped impatiently.

“… if you had ever had the pleasure of being in love.”

That clearly stunned him, and good God, she had
no
idea where it had come from, no comprehension of how those words had found their way to her tongue. A palpable tension suddenly filled the room and Claudia cringed inwardly as the full weight of that tension pressed down on them. His gaze still locked on her, he removed his spectacles, carefully folded them, and deliberately stuffed them into a coat pocket. The only thing that belied his calm was the erratic leap of a muscle in his jaw.

“I have been foolish enough to love,” he admitted quietly, “but I would hardly term it a pleasure.”

Insane as it was, Claudia was suddenly wild to know just
whom
he had loved. A dozen names or more popped into her mind—debutantes, married ladies, widows, a host of names that had, at one time or another, been linked with his. But she bit her tongue, forced the thousand questions down, and nervously running the palms of her hands over the fabric of her gown, cleared her throat. “So … was there not a time you thought you might simply perish without her? Can you not understand, perhaps a little, how Sophie feels?”

Raw emotion glanced his hard features. Claudia’s breath caught in her throat; she could swear it was pain that clouded his eyes. With some effort, he shoved to his
feet. The look on his face, the expression of contempt—
Lord God, how he despised her at this moment.

Alarm quickened her pulse as he strolled toward her. “What about you, Claudia? Was there ever a time you thought you might
simply perish
for want of a lover?” he mocked her. “Have you ever lain awake at night because his image haunts your sleep or been quite incapable of breathing because his mere
presence
has snatched the very air from your lungs?” He paused in front of her; heat flooded her, and she took an involuntary step backward.

“Well, Claudia? Do
you
understand how she feels?”

Staring at his glittering obsidian eyes, Claudia could not think clearly. “I … I understand …” Incredibly, the expression in his eyes hardened even more. “I understand that Sophie is in love, and to banish her now is unthinkable—”

“Let me tell you what is
unthinkable
,” he interjected, his voice impossibly bitter. “It is unthinkable to believe that she may find some sort of salvation in
love
,” he spat acidly. “It is unthinkable to believe that she may somehow
improve
her life by marrying for love! And madam, it is absurd to believe that such feelings are
ever
mutual, or that they elevate her situation to some loftier plane, or that they change one bloody thing about the goddam world! Trust me, the sooner the little nitwit realizes that her so-called
love
is an illusion, unrequited and unwanted, the better off she shall be!”

His voice carried such furious despair that Claudia could scarcely breathe. He
had
loved and lost, but before she could even grasp that thought, Julian seemed to read her mind, and with a smirk, turned away, strolling casually to the sideboard where he lifted a crystal decanter. “I rather imagine you believe in fairy tales, too,” he drawled in a strangely hollow voice.

“You don’t believe what you are saying, Julian. You don’t believe that Sophie would be better off having never loved at all.”

He chuckled darkly as he poured a sherry. “Ah, but I
do
, Claudia. The fallacy of love is that there are
two
who
experience it, when in reality, it is rarely the case that even one is so inclined. And, I daresay, if one should feel … 
love
 … so strongly, one might very well smother the both of them with it.” He paused, looked toward the window for a moment. “Or suffer from the want of it,” he added roughly, and quickly downed the sherry.

The depth of emotion in that statement stunned her; she had the strong urge to wrap her arms around him and hold him tightly against her heart. It was impossible to believe—unfathomable, really—that Julian might have experienced heartbreak. She knew very well what it was to love someone and never have the affection returned, how lonely it was, how devastating. Incredibly, the expression on Julian’s face reflected just that.