Jude (Beautiful Mine #2) (12 page)

EVIE

He looked just like Julian. Lying there with his eyes shut, he was a living, breathing Julian Garner-Willoughby. I shook my head, forcing the thought out, and stared at his lips, remembering that when he kissed me, he was all Jude.

I pulled his arm out and around me, nestling up to his shoulder. The heat of the early afternoon sun beat down through the window, warming the bed. I closed my eyes for just a moment and fell asleep listening to the faint whooshing of Jude’s heart as it beat strong in his chest.

By the time I woke a couple of hours later, our legs were intertwined and my head was buried in the crook of his neck. If Julian made me feel loved and valued, Jude made me feel safe and sound. This brawny, muscled, tatted-up business man who insisted on taking care of me and promised he’d never hurt me had done the impossible. It was a damn miracle that I left Halverford.

A few audible moans and sighs escaped his mouth as he roused from his deep sleep and loosened himself from me. His long body stretched out across the bed.

“That was the best nap ever,” he said, stretching his arms above his head. He rolled back toward me and leaned on his side, resting his head on his. “Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life, Evie.”

“You’re so cheesy,” I said, grabbing a nearby pillow and shoving it in his face.

“You hungry?” he asked, scooting off the bed and heading down the hall.

“A little,” I lied. I was starving. I’d been too nervous to eat anything that morning, but I didn’t want him to know that.

“Guac and chips okay?” he asked as he grabbed an avocado from the refrigerator. “Too early for margaritas?”

“It’s never too early for margaritas,” I said.

“I make them pretty mild,” he said with a wink. “Don’t worry. I’m not trying to get you drunk or anything. I’d never do that on purpose.”

“I can make them, if you want,” I offered. Anything to make myself useful and keep myself from standing around like a bumbling idiot.

He nodded toward the cupboard, where I found a blender, an uber-expensive bottle of tequila, Cointreau, and rock salt.

We worked diligently on our little projects until we were finished, and then we sat side by side at the island, sipping our icy margaritas and munching on our little snack. The clock on the microwave read half past three. The day was still young.

“I was thinking we could go for a walk after this,” Jude proposed. “It’s really nice out. I could acclimate you to the area a bit.”

“Sounds great,” I said, sipping my drink. A small part of me was in vacation mode. This didn’t feel like home, and I wasn’t sure it ever would, but I was damn sure going to try to see it that way.

We slipped on our shoes and headed down to the street below a bit later, Jude grabbing my hand and pulling me close as we walked as if he wanted the world to know I was with him.

“I still need to call Carys today,” I said. “I want to plan her visit.”

“Right. And you should.”

“So, did you mean what you said earlier about inviting her out this weekend?” I asked.

“I always mean what I say. Please. Invite her out. My treat.”

I slipped my arm around his hips, giving him a side hug as we forged ahead on the busy, West Hollywood sidewalk. Jude pointed out various shops and eateries, giving his quick two cents and telling me which places to avoid and which places had the best sushi or burgers.

The whirl of cars and people were like a harmonic symphony of beautiful chaos, like the soundtrack of my new life. It was fitting, to say the least. Carys always told me happiness was a choice, but it never really clicked until that day, walking down the street with Jude on that impossibly gorgeous July day. Damn it, I was choosing to be happy.

***

“Carys,” I said that evening as I locked myself in Jude’s room for a little privacy. “I’m here.”

“Oh, good,” she said. “Glad you made it. Everything okay?”

“You want to come visit this weekend?” I wasted no time. “Jude wants to fly you out.”

“This weekend?” she asked after a long pause. “Lucky for you I’m off.”

“Yay!” I squealed, bouncing on the bed. “I’ll book your flight and email you the itinerary. This was much easier than I expected!”

“Evie, you know you don’t have to twist my arm when you’re offering me a free vacation,” she quipped.

I hung up with Carys and rushed out to the living room, beaming happily.

“She’s coming, I take it?” Jude asked, looking up from his laptop.

“Mmhm,” I said, sliding in next to him on the couch.

He closed his computer and turned to face me, his hazel eyes drinking me in.

“What?” I asked, smile fading as I tried to get a read on him. “Why are you looking at me all intense like that?”

“I just can’t believe you’re really here,” he mused, his lips turned into a half-smile. “It doesn’t feel real.”

I reached over and gave him a quick pinch. “I’m here. It’s real.”

“I could just stare at you for days,” he said, entirely smitten by my presence.

I immediately recalled a time when I felt the same way about Julian, but I knew for my own good I had to stop comparing the two. It wasn’t fair to either of them. It wasn’t fair to the memory of Julian and the beautiful life we’d so briefly shared, and it wasn’t fair to the man sitting next to me, lavishing me with his own brand of affection.

“That’s creepy and sweet all at the same time,” I said. “But now I’m always going to be wondering if you’re just admiring my extraordinary beauty or if I have something stuck in my teeth.”

He leaned over, kissing my lips softly and then tracing my jawline with his finger before nuzzling into my neck, breathing me in.

“You’re addictive,” he said, his voice low and breathy and sending shivers down my spine. No one had ever called me that before. “I don’t know what it is about you.”

“Oh, geez,” Jax said as he came strolling down the hallway from his side of the place. “Give me a break.”

“Shut your hole,” Jude spat back. “I think I’ve seen your smooth moves in action more times than I care to admit.”

Jax laughed as he rifled through the fridge and pulled out a tinfoil-covered plate.

“How you liking L.A. so far?” Jax asked, his back toward me.

“So far, so good,” I said meekly, trying to ignore the awkwardness that lingered between us.

“How long you staying here?” Jax asked, popping his plate in the microwave and turning around to face us.

“Oh, um, uh…” I turned to Jude, unaware of the fact that Jax didn’t know I’d moved there.

“As long as she needs,” Jude interjected, reaching over and grabbing my hand. “She has to find a job and then an apartment. Know of any nursing jobs?”

“Um, check the hospital, man, I don’t know,” Jax said as the timer went off behind him. He grabbed his food and took it back to his room, disappearing like a dog dragging his bone to his den.

“He pretty much hangs out in there all day,” Jude said. “He’s harmless, really. Take nothing he says or does personally.”

“Does he work?” I asked.

“Here and there,” Jude said. “He’s pretty much a trust fund baby, but every once in a while, his dad lines him up with a job as a PA on a movie set. He spends most of his days surfing and most of his nights down at the bar, cruising for hook-ups.”

“How are you guys even friends?” I asked. “You’re polar opposites.”

“We met at UC-Davis,” he said. “We were roommates. You get used to living with someone, and then you don’t want to live with someone else. It works, this arrangement we have.”

“I see. Carys and I always talked about living together, but I never had the money to move out.” My voice softened, “Julian was the first person I ever lived with.”

“Didn’t you go to college for nursing?”

“Yeah, but I lived at home and commuted,” I said. “I went to Larson Hills Community College, ten minutes from Halverford.”

“I’ve lived on my own since I was eighteen,” Jude said, leaning back. “Went to school. Mom cut me off in the middle of my freshman year. The rest is history.”

His face twisted as he likely recalled some painful memories.

“Hey,” I said, “how come I never met you in high school? You were, what, three years ahead of me?”

“I attended Holy Cross,” he said, referring to the private Christian school thirty minutes from our hometown.

“Oh,” I said. “Is that where your other brother went, too?”

“Yep,” he said. “Jamison and I both attended Holy Cross. Julian had a private tutor.”

“Public schools not good enough?” I asked, already knowing the answer. Sending her boys to Holy Cross was very much a Caroline initiative.

“Of course not,” Jude snickered.

I hated how our conversations always seemed to drift in the same direction. It never mattered what we were discussing, somehow Caroline always came up.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Jude shrugged it off. “You mind if I get a little work done?”

JUDE

“Your girlfriend’s trying to fatten me up,” Jax said over dinner one night.

Evie’s first week had been an adjustment for all of us, especially Jax, but she was slowly making herself at home. And in an attempt to make herself feel better for imposing, she insisted on cooking us dinner most nights.

I wanted to tell Jax she wasn’t my girlfriend. I didn’t know what the fuck we were, and labels were never my thing. But I kept my mouth shut. Leave it to Jax to speak without thinking first.

“Yeah, the girl can cook,” I agreed, throwing a smile at Evie as she watched us scarf down the latest Midwestern church potluck dish she’d cooked up.

“You don’t have to eat my cooking if you don’t like it, Jax,” she teased. “I wouldn’t want to destroy that surfer boy figure you’ve got going on.”

“How can I say no?” Jax said, rubbing his washboard abs. “I smell this stuff in my room every night. It’s like I just follow my nose and I end up right here with a big old plate of whatever’s on the menu.”

Evie smiled. She and Jax were slowly becoming friends, and she was growing more comfortable around him each day, as if he were the annoying older brother she’d never had.

“You going to be around this weekend, Jax?” she asked.

“Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Jax said in his trademark smartass tone.

“My friend, Carys, is coming to visit,” Evie said, a twinkle of excitement in her eyes. “We should all go out, or something.”

Jax shot me a look. He hated being fixed up. Hated it. I stifled a smile.

“Yeah, sounds like a great idea,” I said.

“This isn’t, like, some double date thing, is it?” Jax said

“No,” Evie laughed, though neither of us fully believed her. “But I think you’ll really enjoy meeting her.”

Jax rolled his eyes. He was never one to be tied down and rarely had a girlfriend, but from what Evie said, Carys was sort of the same way. They were either going to hate each other or they’d be unable to keep their paws off each other.

Jax finished dinner and trekked back to his room, shutting the door. The sound of bullets and calamity trailed down the hall, indicating he was in gamer mode.

“He really doesn’t like to be set up,” I said to Evie as we cleared the table. “Just so you know.”

Evie shot me a conniving smile and shrugged a shoulder.

“You know they’re probably going to hate each other,” I added.

“Or they might fall madly in love, get married, and live happily ever after,” Evie said, doing a spin in the middle of the kitchen with arms full of dishes.

“Wanna make a wager?” I asked.

“Uh, yes,” Evie said without pause.

“If I’m right and they hate each other,” I said, running the water and filling the sink with suds, “you have to…”

I hesitated to come up with something. Staring at her with her elbows deep in dirty dishwater, I realized there was absolutely nothing I needed from her. Not a damn thing. Just looking at her, I knew she’d do anything I asked, regardless of some stupid bet.

“Look, there’s no point in betting on them,” she said. “They’re going to like each other. I’m telling you.”

“Jax hasn’t had a girlfriend in two years,” I said. “And before that, it’d been almost three. He hooks up, Evie. He doesn’t date.”

She shrugged, unwilling to give up the fight.

“What about you? What’s your dating history look like?”

I struggled to find the words as I felt her staring. Did I tell her I was no better? That I was noncommittal? I never knew what I wanted. Never settled. Never got too attached. Veronica was the only serious girlfriend I’d had, and I suspect it was a combination of her crazy antics keeping me entertained and her killer moves in the sack that kept me fulfilled on a near-nightly basis.

“I haven’t dated much,” I said.

“Really? I’d have figured girls would be knocking on your door twenty-four seven.”

They had been. I just never answered unless they wanted to hook up, and even still, I’d turned away more than I cared to admit.

Evie’s phone began to buzz on the counter, providing a much needed interruption. She pulled her hands from the soapy water and quickly dried them before answering the unknown number.

“Yes, this is she,” Evie said, stepping into the living room. “Absolutely! Sounds great. What time? Thank you so much. I’ll be there.”

“Who was that?”

“I have a job interview on Monday. Ten in the morning,” Evie said, cautiously optimistic. “Cedars-Sinai. OR nurse.”

“That’s one of the best hospitals in the area,” I said, impressed. “Congrats.”

“I’m going to need a ride,” she said, biting her lip.

“You got it.”

The sun began to set behind her, beckoning her to the balcony as I finished cleaning up.

“Whatcha thinking about?” I asked when I joined her minutes later.

She turned her head, startled by my presence. “Nothing, really. Just wondering what I’d be doing if I were home right now.”

“You miss it already? Hasn’t even been a week.”

“No,” she said. “Not missing it like I want to be there. This might sound crazy.”

“Okay…”

“Sometimes, I feel like there are two versions of me,” she said, peering down below as the wind rustled her hair. “There’s the old me, the one still living back home in Halverford, still knee-deep in mourning, depressed and unmotivated. Trapped, reliving the past, and only finding happiness in memories that are long gone.”

I nodded. I got it.

“And then there’s the new me,” she said, sitting up tall. “The girl living someone else’s life. Doing things she never thought she’d do in a million years.”

“You feel like you’re living someone else’s life?”

“In a way, yes,” she answered. “I don’t know how to describe it, but I feel like I’m being pushed in this direction, you know? Like I’m being pushed to try new things. Do you believe in destiny, Jude?”

I raked my fingers through my hair, cocking my head to the side and flashing an amused grin. How could one phone call about a job offer suddenly make her want to have this deep, introspective conversation?

“No, not really,” I said.

“You don’t think I was destined to meet you?” she asked carefully. “In some weird, twisted way?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.” Thinking too hard about things like that gave me a headache. I tended to live in the moment. It was the only way I survived.

“Why don’t you ever talk about him?” Evie asked. “Julian, I mean.”

I shrugged. “I might not talk about him, but I think about him every day.”

“Fair enough,” she said, studying me like the anomaly that I was.

It was true. I thought about Julian daily. But if I talked about him, it gave me the feels.

“I don’t like feeling sad, Evie,” I said point blank, my expression remaining stoic.

She placed her lithe arm around me, leaned in, and kissed my shoulder. “Me either.”