Jose's Surrender (6 page)

"He's allergic to milk, right?"

"Yes. Lactose intolerant. The doctors gave him some pills to take before eating any dairy but I don't know if they work or not. So if he's going to have any ice cream, he's to take one pill half an hour before he does and he can only have one scoop."

"All right. What time were you thinking of stopping by?"

"Well, I figured you're not home since your breathing is getting kind of hard—so I'm going to say not until end of day today."

"You're a jerk, you know that?"

"Dude, look who my brothers are! Believe me, I've been told."

Savaro was laughing too hard and though José was smiling, he still hung up on the man. He dropped the phone on Ronin's nightstand and crawled back into his lover's bed.

Sliding in really close, José kissed Ronin hard while snaking a hand beneath the covers to caress the perfect roundness of Ronin's ass.

"There's a guitar in the corner," José whispered, caressing. "You play?"

"A little." They kissed, Ronin moaned and sighed before pulling back. "My father taught both me and my brother Mack."

"Could you play me something?" José eased from

the bed and walked over to where the guitar stood on the stand and picked it up carefully. He held it like he would a newborn baby, afraid he would pull a José-moment and trip over his own feet. The last thing he wanted to do was break the beautiful instrument. When he made it to the bed, he beamed and handed it to Ronin who was now sitting up, so buff and beautifully naked.

Licking his lips, he sat across from Ronin and watched as he cradled the guitar. Ronin looked at ease holding the instrument as his fingers danced over the strings and a beautiful, familiar tune floated through the air.

Then to his shock, Ronin broke into a beautiful rendition of
Always on My Mind
by a singer Jamal had introduced José to called Da'Ville. José shivered. There was something about a man of Ronin's size and physique singing a love song in a voice that only could have come from heaven. When the song ended, José had no words. All he did was reach across and kiss Ronin, wrapping an arm around the back of his head and being careful not to press too close with the guitar.

"That was beautiful," José whispered.

"You're very welcome—it's been a while since I've played it. It used to be my father's."

"That's one of the best gifts a parent can ever give a child."

Ronin smiled softly and placed the guitar by the bed, leaning on the wall. "Music."

Two days had passed since Jose was last with Ronin. Though they spoke on the phone, José decided in order to get any work done he was going to have to go on a Ronin drought. Every night before bed the two talked, watched movies, and shared dreams, all over the phone or instant messenger. By the time the third day rolled around, José finally pulled himself from rushing back and forth between Eros and Century and stopped by Rajan's house for a friendly chat.

When he got there however, Rajan wasn't alone and Xavier invited José to stay for lunch.

"So how are things going with you?" Xavier asked, placing three plates on the center table beside a large bowl of curried chicken and a plate piled high with steaming pita bread. José eased down on the other side of the table and together, the three men ate. It was strange. The way José loved these men like they were his brothers and knew he could always depend on them. But aside from that, he felt so at ease around them, it was like breathing.

"Well, I'm happy for you, José," Rajan said. "Ronin seems like a good guy."

"He is. I haven't seen him in three days and I want to rip my hair out."

"Why not?" Xavier wanted to know.

"Well, we want to get Laird's job done and a couple of other jobs I have going on the side," José replied, stuffing a curry-covered piece of pita into his mouth. "We talk on the phone all the time and stuff but it's not the same."

"You want to feel his touch," Xavier whispered. "I understand how you feel. When Raj goes away for his shoots sometimes I feel like climbing the walls."

"I'm sorry," Rajan said.

Xavier laughed and kissed Rajan's head. "It's not a bad thing. I knew coming in that would happen. What I'm trying to say is, the way you feel about him even though you two just started together, don't ever let that change."

José nodded silently, and ate for a while. Once the meal was finished, he helped the guys clean up then retired to the living room with a beer. He told them what happened with Ronin and the guitar.

"He did what?" Rajan asked, sitting on the arm of the sofa and chewing on an apple. "Dang! X, why don't you ever sing to me?"

Xavier tapped his forehead against the desk and moaned. "Now look what you did! And besides, aren't you the singer in this marriage?"

"Oh!" Rajan exclaimed. "Touché!"

José laughed. "Seriously. He has this voice that's just—just so good."

Sighing, José took a sip from his beer and stretched his legs out before him. He went silent for a while before he finally took a breath and looked at Rajan. "I don't know, guys. I woke up beside him and I couldn't tell the last time I spent the night at the man's house and didn't sneak out in the morning."

"The classic walk of shame?" Rajan chuckled.

"We've all done it."

"Oh… do tell." Xavier eyed Rajan in that heated way José knew he looked at Ronin.

But before Rajan could say anything else, Xavier's phone went off. Rajan sighed and rose. José knew what that meant as well. Xavier, SWAT captain, had to leave for a job. He watched as Xavier kissed Rajan and listened as the two murmured their love for each other.

"Come home," Rajan said.

"I love you," Xavier replied and ducked out the door.

José saw Rajan's heart break a little as the door closed. Rajan didn't move from where he stood until long after the sound of the engine died in the distance. José respected the enormity of what was happening and remained quiet. Finally Rajan moved and smiled.

"I can't imagine how hard it is for you to watch him leave for work like that." José took a sip from his bottle and eased forward. He rested his elbows against his knees. "I'm sorry."

Rajan sat beside José and took José's beer from his hand to take a sip before handing it back. "It's hard. I've seen the work he does firsthand and I worry about him going through doors. But I've also met the CT and they are wonderful guys and gals who have his back."

José patted Rajan's thigh affectionately. "Think positive, Rajie boy. Your man loves you too much to make some dumb-ass punk take him away from you."

"Thanks, José."

"Anytime."

"So you and Ronin are getting serious?"

"I hope so," José replied, eyeing his bottle. "The man does things to me—he makes me feel like in those movies where your man is just so damn perfect for you all you want to do is cry."

"You? Cry? Am I being
Punk'd
?"

"You always gotta be such a dick?" José asked.

"Of course! That's part of my charm."

José shook his head and smiled. He drained his beer and relaxed into the seat. It'd taken some doing but after spending most of the morning catching up on paperwork,

he had to check in with his team. He wasn't about to go anywhere though—well maybe the bathroom.

"I have to go to the john."

Rajan pulled his legs in and José walked by him.

* * * *

Ronin peered at the swatches of material and eyed the wall. The color was a lovely bronze. He'd just bought some new paints that would be perfect for this assignment.

Smiling, he folded the swatches of color and dropped them back into his bag. José had given them to him before coming out so he could start formulating the images but the truth was all he could think about was José. A day had passed since they made love. Three hours since he'd seen José. He wanted to touch him in the most intimate of ways but Leroy, José's godson, would be spending some time with him. The boy was bright, had manners, and was hilarious.

He walked around to his laptop and sent a message to his supplier for parchment, frames, and a few other necessities before turning the computer off and shoving it into his bag. Outside the door he could hear José's team moving around. Off in the distance, a saw started rumbling, someone was hammering something, and laughter erupted

from time to time.

"Hey, Ronin."

Ronin looked up to see a woman José had

introduced as Marley, the painter. "Marley, what's up?"

"Did you figure out what you needed yet?"

Ronin nodded. "Yeah. Even sent out for supplies."

"Perfect timing then! The team and I are heading over to Anatolis for lunch. Savaro feeds us for free whenever we drop in. You in?"

"You're going to drive all the way to Eros to eat lunch?"

Marley nodded, her eyes wide. "Are you kidding?

Have you tasted that man's honey buns?"

Ronin thought of the sexual innuendo in that and chuckled. "Can't say I have."

"Pack up your things. You're in for a treat!"

She grinned at him then bolted out the door screaming, "Hey guys! Ronin's in!"

The group cheered and he shook his head with a laugh. José had said they'd welcome him but he never in a million years thought they would be this nice. Pulling himself from his thoughts, he grabbed his bag, unplugged his cell phone from the wall and walked out into the hall.

"You going to meet us at Anatolis?" Keith the plumber asked.

"Sure. I drove here and I really don't feel like leaving the rental car here," Ronin explained. "Anyone need a ride over?"

"Presley! You need a ride?" Marley hollered.

The ebony woman in the hard hat and tool belt rose from where she was and allowed the tape measure to slide in with a
thwack
. She pushed the brim of her hard hat up and smiled with a nod. "Who wants to give me a ride?"

Ronin laughed. "All right, Presley. You're with me."

"Score. Let me grab my stuff."

* * * *

The ride back to Eros was interesting to say the least. Presley found a hip-hop station broadcasting out of Mousa and cranked it. She was dancing in her seat like crazy.

"Come on, smile, Ronin. It's not the end of the world," she encouraged.

Ronin laughed. "I know."

"José has changed," Presley explained.

"Changed? How do you mean?"

"I don't know." She shrugged and turned off the radio. "He's been a little quiet lately."

"And that's new?"

"Yes. The old José was funny; always making jokes. He was a bit of an airhead and we loved him that way. I mean, we still love him but lately he's been so… I don't know how to say it."

"And you all think it's because of me." It was more of a statement than a question.

"We know it's because of you. He really likes you, I think, and he's afraid if he shows the real José you'll leave and not give him a chance. I'm just being all nosy but I don't think you deserve him if you force him to change who he is."

Ronin was stunned. After they'd made love and had spoken and stolen kisses he never thought José was being any different than the nervous man he'd met days before.

He really liked José and the thought of being the cause of some unhappiness for this man was more than he could stand. "I didn't ask him to change who he was, Presley.

Really."

"Then something happened. I've known him since—I can't even remember. That's how long it's been.

He's never like this around a man before and most of it isn't good."

"I'll talk to him."

At Anatolis, Ronin glanced at the clock. It was the time of day Leroy should be in school. When Presley

climbed from the car, Ronin watched as she leaned forward to peer at him.

"You coming?" she wanted to know. "The last person in has to buy the tequila shots on party night."

Ronin managed a smile but shook his head. "No. I have something I need to do first. You guys have fun."

"All right. Suit yourself."

He watched her enter Anatolis then reversed from the parking spot. He turned the car east and didn't stop until he pulled up before José's house. He took a breath, jogged up the front steps, and rang the bell. When José opened the door, Ronin walked by him into the house, kicked off his shoes, and continued to the kitchen.

"Ro?"

He said nothing. José's footsteps came down the hall and soon José was leaning easily against the doorframe, watching him with worried brown eyes.

"¿
Qué pasa
?"

"What does that mean?" Ronin wanted to know.

"It means, 'what's wrong?'"

"Did you change who you are because of me?"

Ronin asked.

"What?"

"Did you change who you are because of me?"

"Where's this coming from?"

"Did you?"

"Ronin, for God's sake."

Ronin folded his arms over his chest, the same way his father used to when the boys were in trouble. "So that's a yes."

"It wasn't that big of a change."

"It's big enough. People have noticed."

"Who cares what they think? Ronin, you're acting as if I cheated on you or something. Me making some changes in my life isn't that big a deal."

"But do these changes make you happy, José?"

Ronin watched José's shoulders rise and fall dramatically with a breath before he pushed off the doorframe and walked closer. He gripped Ronin's hips and looked up into his face. "I made the changes because I don't want to screw this up like I did my past relationships. I'm thirty now and I've never had a serious relationship. I don't want my hang-ups to cost me this chance with you."

"But José, the people who love you are worried."

Ronin searched his eyes. "They see these changes as something negative. And what's the use of you making these changes when you're miserable?"

"I'm not miserable."

"But you will be. You're going to wake up one morning and realize these things are what make you, you.

They are what make your friends love and cherish you.

What changes have you made?"

"I've been somewhat of a flake… I tend to be clumsy and most of all I say whatever pops into my mind—