#Jerk (27 page)

Entering the office building feels like visiting your home after a long vacation. I had missed everything about it, from the hustle and bustle of the corporate world, to the office attire, and even the politics. Vicky greets me downstairs in the lobby, running towards me in new Louis Vuitton pumps.
Bitch! Where did she get those?!

“Ahem, what’s going on south of your kitty?”

She gladly lifts her feet, proudly showing off her new attire. “Oh, you mean these? Well, Patrick bought them for me. Kind of like an ‘
I want you back’
present.”

I shake my head at her willingness to accept extravagant gifts from a dickhead who can’t keep his pants shut. I drop the subject, not wanting to get into an argument.

“So,” she says, taking the stroller off me and pushing it towards the elevator. “What’s happening tonight? Are you still meeting Jason for dinner?”

The whole week I went back and forth about cancelling my dinner with Jason. Things were going so good between Haden and me that I didn’t want to create any unnecessary drama. But last night, after his confession, I thought long and hard about what I wanted. Having dinner with Jason was just that—dinner. I’m not planning on having sex with him, but although we ended on friendly terms, there is a sense of closure that I need from him in order to be able to move forward.

“Right now, I’m still deciding. But if I do, you’re still okay to babysit?”

“Of course! Can’t wait to hang out with my gorgeous soon-to-be godson,” she coos at Masen.

“And about that. Don’t mention that to Haden yet. I don’t think he is religious, at all.”

Vicky slides her finger along her mouth, then flicks it to the side. “My lips are sealed.”

Bringing Masen to the office is extremely overwhelming. Every woman and her overactive ovaries are fussing over him, all fighting to have a cuddle so they can smell his skin. It was only announced last week that Dee was expecting a baby with Sugar Daddy. Four months along, according to Mr. National Inquirer himself, Clive. She seems happy, asking me questions about pregnancy and birth. I’m not here to judge her, despite her sugar daddy being old enough to be her grandfather.

Clive is doing his thing, making weird sounds at Masen and trying to make him smile.

“Jesus, Pres, he looks exactly like the Jerk.”

“I would question her if he didn’t.” Haden is standing behind an embarrassed Clive.

Haden moves into the circle and my eyes move up his body and land on his torso. He’s wearing a navy, fitted business shirt with a thin black tie and he has rolled the sleeves up like he always does.
Fucking kill me now…. Kitty just wants to dry hump his arms.
His face has broken out into his trademark smile, and his glasses…argh! Why the hell does he look so irresistible today?!

Because you made a promise to not touch him while he was still engaged to Eloise.

“Motherhood agrees with you, Pres.” Clive raises his eyebrows and cups his chest, motioning to my huge breasts. “So, Masen drinks breast milk only?”

I nod. “Haven’t had the need to start the formula yet.”

“Have you tasted it?” Clive attempts to whisper.

“Clive!” Vicky scolds, followed with, “Yeah, have you?”

I shake my head at the both of them, trying to hold in my laughter. “No. But I heard it’s supposed to taste like—”

“Cantaloupe juice,” Haden interjects. “It was on an episode of
Friends
.”

Mortified, because he must have tasted it the other night, I lower my head so as not to reveal my flushed face. Vicky and Clive snicker as Haden continues to stand there with a wide smirk on his face, rubbing his chin with his stare fixated on me.

“Well, there you go,” I say. “Cantaloupe juice. Not that I know what that tastes like, but I imagine it’s sweet. Anyways, look at the time!”

Haden kisses Masen before telling me he has a meeting that is expected to turn into a dinner since it’s one of our stakeholders from London. I say goodbye to him before he disappears.

“Okay, so let me know about tonight?” Vicky reminds me.

“Thanks Vicky, I will. I probably won’t go ahead with it, but I’ll let you know either way.”

Vicky and Clive head back to their cubicles as I make my way to the elevator. It opens and Eloise exits.

Shit.

Stepping out of the elevator, looking like a supermodel, she spots me and plasters on a fake smile. As usual, she is dressed to the nines in a perfectly pressed pantsuit with nine-inch pumps. Her blonde hair is styled (yes, straight out of the salon) and her skin looks nicely tanned and extremely clear. She makes it impossible to hate anything about her. At least if she had a giant mole on her nose and a long chin, I could refer to her as a witch.

“I didn’t expect to see you here…with the baby.”

She peeks her head into the stroller and finally gets a glimpse of her soon-to-be
stepson.
There, I said it. Pulling back instantly, her fake smile makes another appearance. “He’s pretty.”

Pretty? She called my son “pretty”? No one calls my son pretty and gets away with it. I may have been polite to her before, but this time she has something I want, and I’m not in the mood to play nice.

“Masen is a boy, so I’m not sure ‘pretty’ is the correct word.”

“Oh, you know what I mean.” She shrugs it off. “My mind is all over the place. Since Haden postponed the wedding and all. The caterer is booked for the next six months so I’ve been running around trying to find a new one. It’s just been a mess.”

“I’m sure you’ll find one.” This time it’s my turn to bring the fake smile to the table.

“We’d better. The wedding is next Saturday.”

“You’re getting married next Saturday?” I almost choke.

“Uh huh. This is it. I told Haden no more postponing and he agreed,” she squeals. “I hope you’re free?”

“I…uh…Masen will probably cry and stuff.”

Did I just say that? Excuse me while my heart throws itself onto the ground so it can continue to be stomped on, along with any self-respect and dignity I have left.

“Well, that’s another thing. We’d really like it if Haden’s mom pushed the baby down the aisle. Actually, I bought this little outfit for him and my mom decorated my old carriage with lace and flowers.”

She pulls out her cell and flicks through photos while I continue to stand here, shell-shocked. The wedding is still going to happen and everything Haden said was nothing but empty promises. Lies, to be exact.

And just at that moment, the realization that maybe I’m living in denial in this sick and twisted game is like a sword piercing my heart, continually stabbing me till I am out of breath. My hands have clasped onto the handle of the stroller and all I can see is my knuckles turning stark white. My breaths are few and far between, and all the while, I hear the echoes of Eloise’s laugh taunting me, naming me a fool.

“Oh! Here it is!” She places the cell in front of me and I push it away, unable to control the fueling rage inside of me.

“He is my son,” I grit. “I don’t care what you do. But don’t you dare expect to have my son attend your wedding!

“Presley, I—”

“I don’t want to hear it!” I face-palm her. “You don’t care about Masen. Shit, you didn’t even have the decency to come see him.”

“I sent you flowers,” she answers defensively.

“Oh!” I laugh sarcastically. “I didn’t realize flowers were the same as meeting your future stepson.”

She remains still, her face in complete and utter shock at my outburst. And I’m just getting started.

“I don’t know why the two of you are getting married. But know this. My son will not be a part of your lives. If I have to move hell and earth to make that happen, I WILL!”

I push past her, and thankfully, the elevator opens on cue. The second I’m inside, I repeatedly tap the close button till her wretched face disappears, allowing my tears to fall freely. With clouded vision, I take out my cell and send two texts: one to Vicky confirming that tonight is still on, and one to Jason, letting him know I’m excited about dinner.

I have no clue what I’m doing.
And that’s the thing about broken hearts; they open up a dark abyss and all you can do is try to stop yourself from falling into that
dark hole. Even if that means spending the night with your ex to get over the man who never intended to steal your heart.

V
icky arrives to babysit Masen while I get ready for my dinner with Jason. It’s no coincidence that I chose to wear my short black dress that fits even nicer than before with my new, full bust. I accessorize it with a ruby-red necklace, my hoop earrings, and those red pumps that the
Jerk
drooled over. They also happen to be Jason’s favorite piece on me.

“You look too hot. MILF type of hot. The girls are totally out for show. Unless, of course, they’re out on purpose…”

“It’s nice to dress up.”

“Pres…what’s going on?”

I grab my purse off the night stand and kiss Masen on the forehead.

“Nothing. I’ve having dinner with a friend. That’s it.”

“Okay, but we need some sort of code in case you want to come back and get laid.”

“It’s not like that. I’m going. Please call me if Masen won’t settle,” I gently remind her.

She simply smiles and I kiss her on the forehead too before heading out to my dinner date with Jason.

Sitting in close proximity to Jason makes me realize how much I’ve missed him. Everything about him is so familiar and comfortable. Everything about him is
drama-free
.

He takes a sip of his red wine and I can’t help but stare at him. He has aged,
just a bit,
and his hair is now a salt and pepper color that reflects his maturity. His eyes still do that thing to me, calming the storm brewing in my head. With his hands resting on the edge of the table, I remember how many times I’ve kissed his fingertips, how many times his fingers have trailed my body. All the things I haven’t experienced with the Jerk.

And fuck him! Stupid motherfucking jerk!

“So tell me, how did this happen?” he asks.

I swirl the glass of wine, taking small sips so as not to get too intoxicated. I had cleverly pumped enough milk to last a lifetime so I know I can have a glass and express my alcohol-infused milk down the drain. I start from the beginning, leaving out the whole “
it happened in the alleyway
” part. No need for graphic details.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Honestly? At the time, I was ashamed. It was so careless of me. You know me, I’m one to stick to a plan. This was a shock to me. I had no choice but to accept the reality of the situation.”

“
And now?”

“It’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Masen is my life,” I answer honestly, smiling at him.

Behind the glass he is holding to his lips, he hides his sly smile.

“Why are you smiling that way?”

He takes another drink and motions for the waiter to bring him another. “Because, motherhood suits you.”

“I seem to be hearing that a lot.”

“So you’re not with the guy…Henry…”

“Haden,” I correct him.

“Whatever.”

“No, Haden is engaged and it’s really complicated.”

Ain’t that the fucking truth! I desperately want to tell him the full story, but I’m scared he will convince me to never speak to the Jerk again. It’s not such a bad idea after what happened with Eloise, but it’s not just about my feelings anymore. It’s about Masen and what he deserves.

“Well, sounds like a jerk.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Yeah, what can you do?”

“You find yourself a real man, Pres. A man who’s willing to give you everything.” His eyes twinkle as they stare directly into mine. Moving his hand towards my side of the table, he plays with the ring sitting on my middle finger. My chest is pumping, but it’s not all because of this intimate moment. It’s the guilt that I feel for sitting here with Jason when my heart belongs elsewhere.

Why does it have to belong somewhere else?

The food arrives and we eat in silence. My appetite is nonexistent, and with each bite, I’m swallowing a tablespoon of guilt.

“What did we do, Pres? We had it all, you know?”

“Did we, Jase? We were happy, but I don’t know…it’s like we got cold feet way too early.”

“This could have been us. We could have had a child together,” he says in a low voice.

“I guess so.”

The question makes me think. Even if I could go back in time, would I make Jason the father of my child? It would’ve been so easy, it would have been a stroll in the fucking park. But everything that Masen is lies in his DNA. He has Haden’s blood running through his veins. And truth be told, I wouldn’t change that for the world.

“There’s always the future, Pres. It’s not a closed book between us.”

“I miss you,” I blurt out, not intending it to come out the way it does.

“I miss you too.”

“It was so easy, what we had,” I confess. “Life is so complicated now. I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”

“But is easy wrong?”

“No, it’s drama-free and all I’ve been doing for nine months is living in a world of drama.”

Jason presses his palm against mine and leans forward. With only the glow of the candle light between us, my body moves in, bringing us close together.

“We both were searching for something else, Presley. But we already had it all,” he concedes. “Now we’ve had that time apart. I’ve realized that no woman could compare to you. Sure, you have your quirks, but Presley, I want my life with
you.”

He said all the words I want to hear…from someone else.
He’s offering me everything we had on a silver platter with a nice red bow to complete the package. An easy life filled with love and happy memories.

“Jason, I have a son. My life is about him now, and he’s not yours.”

“I know that, but you know I was raised by Jeff and he was a great stepfather. I’m not here to replace his father. I’m offering you a life, Presley. A life with me.”

I lower my head and stare at the tablecloth. With his hands still touching mine, his offer appears too good to pass up. But I’m angry at the Jerk.
Livid
, in fact. And to make an important decision like this, I need a clear head.

I tell him I need time to think, and on cue, the alarm goes off, warning me that I have to return to Masen. I kindly tell Jason I need to go, and being the true gentleman he is, he offers to walk me back to my apartment.

It’s a cool night with a heavy breeze, and just as my body shivers, he removes his jacket and places it over my shoulders. We talk about our families as we walk back home, reminiscing about the good old days and our joint family vacations.

“It was really good seeing you.” I smile happily.

He leans in closer and kisses me on the lips. Suddenly the guilt washes over me and I pull away, wiping my lips without even thinking. He looks taken aback by my ability to pull away, let alone wipe his kiss off my lips, but he doesn’t comment on it.

With trepidation he asks, “Can I come in?”

I open the door and notice the apartment is quiet. With only the hall lamp turned on, I assume Vicky is with Masen in my room. I motion for Jason to follow me and he does until we reach the bedroom door. When I open the door, I almost fall back into Jason’s body at the sight of Haden sitting on my bed, shirtless and holding Masen.

“I…uh…where is Vicky?”

“Nice to see you, Presley. Vicky had an emergency, and since Masen is my son, I thought I would stay over and spend some time with him.” His voice is dripping with sarcasm, and behind his frames, his eyes are fueled with fire and rage.

“Okay…Jason, this is Haden, Masen’s dad,” I say, preparing myself for the biggest shit-storm to rock this universe.

“Nice to meet you.” Jason nods.

Haden is trying to hide his anger, but his outburst is imminent.
“So is there a reason why you went out and abandoned our son?”

Bingo. Typical Jerk saying his jerk-like things instead of communicating in a mature and adult way. Another reminder of why Jason is a better fit for me than Haden could ever be.

“What?
I’m going to walk Jason out.”

I turn around and grab Jason’s hand on purpose. Outside in the hall, he shakes his head.

“A young jerk.”

“Jason…”

“You want a real man, Pres? You know where to find me. And I’m serious about what I’m offering.”

“I know, Jason. It’s just…
I love him.”

I said it. The words that have taunted me for the longest time. It’s both a relief and a burden to finally say it out loud. My lip begins to tremble as Jason glances at me with a sympathetic smile. He wraps me in his arms for a final goodbye, and my body comfortably rests against his as I struggle to hold back the tears. This new, emotional Presley is getting on my nerves. I have never cried so much in my life as I have in the past year.

Cupping my face in his hands, he wipes the tears away with the tip of his thumb. “I’m always here, Pres. Even as a friend. No, I don’t want just that, but we’ve got too much history to let go of everything we had, including our friendship. You know where I am…I’m always here.”

And that’s the thing about Jason. Once he steps into your life, there is no turning back. He may not be the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, or the man my heart so desperately beats for, but he will forever be a friend I could count on. And good friends like him are hard to come by.

With Jason gone, I have no choice but to face the music, and with every step back towards my room, my anger intensifies. I walk in and Masen is sound asleep in his cot. Haden is still sitting on my bed, half dressed. He is fidgeting with his cell and the second he senses I’m in the room, his eyes lock into mine and glower back at me. With his lips pursed and his nostrils flaring, he throws his cell to the side, crossing his arms as he waits for me to talk.

“Get some clothes on,” I grit.

“Tell me why you went out with him!”

“None of your business! Now will you just go?!”

Why didn’t Vicky warn me that he was here? My cell is inside my purse. I pull it out and see that the screen is covered in a dozen messages, all from Vicky. I don’t have time to read them now and I storm off into my closet to take my shoes off. He is in there so fast, blocking the entrance by resting his body against the archway.

“Did he touch you?”

“I don’t have to answer that…”

“DID HE TOUCH YOU?” Haden yells, slamming his fist against the architrave.

I swiftly turn around. “Yes. Yes he did. Get off your jealousy horse because I don’t belong to you! You’re full of shit, Haden. You don’t care about me or else you wouldn’t be marrying Eloise!”

“And everything I said meant nothing to you? I told you no one was to touch you but me.” He follows with a sinister laugh, shaking his head as he continues to block the exit. His body is exposed and it becomes an unnecessary distraction.

Kitty is not helping me out, gawking at his perfectly-toned physique with a jumbo-sized popcorn in hand.

From the corner of my eye I can see his knuckles are stark white from clenching his fist so tight. I have never seen him this enraged, and it scares me a little. But then I remember my conversation with Eloise yesterday and I quickly change back to infuriated and bitter Presley.

“See Malone, all along this is what I was afraid of. You’re running back to the
love of your life…
”

“I didn’t run, Haden. I was standing still. Waiting for
you
. You are the one that broke me!”

“You want to know why I proposed to Eloise?”

“Enlighten me, Haden.” I stand here, arms crossed, waiting for his pathetic excuse.

“Because I never felt good enough for you! I was never the man you wanted in your life. Eloise wanted me…but to you, I was nothing, and you went out of your way to constantly remind me of that. So, I’ll tell you what. You want to move to California with Jason? Then fucking do it! We were never going to work anyway.”

He moves away from the closet and back into the other room, grabbing his shirt. There are no slamming doors. No more sounds.

He is gone.

And I pushed him.