Jealousy (31 page)

Chapter Sixty-Eight:

Justin loved Heather
’s new house.  He was the one who convinced her to have the housewarming party. He helped her set up the tables and chairs, while Nick and Kenny picked up the food and alcohol.  Justin wanted to decorate, but there was no time.  People seemed to arrive all at once and the yard was already filled with people.

Justin found Nick mingling with a group of his friends, but
he couldn’t find Kenny. He finally spotted Kenny’s bright green eyes on the deck, behind the little bar station, and smiled at him.  Kenny held up two red plastic cups and winked back.  It was the small gestures of affection, like the wink of an eye, that always made Justin’s heart beat a little faster.  He made his way onto the deck and gave Kenny a small kiss and a hug.  Kenny handed him a fresh vodka and cranberry.  The drink was strong and refreshing.  Justin took a big gulp of his drink and chewed on a piece of ice.  He made eye contact with a man he didn’t recognize.  Justin greeted the man with a short smile and nod of the head, but the man narrowed his eyes and smirked.  It puzzled Justin.  He looked over his shoulder to make sure the man’s smirk wasn’t directed at someone else, but no one was there.  When he turned back, the man’s glare intensified, and Justin realized it was blatantly meant for him.  At first, it didn’t register.  Justin wrinkled his brown and cocked his head to the side. Then it finally hit him.  The man was bothered by his sexuality.  It had been a long time since he dealt with homophobic behavior.  He sighed.  Will it ever end? he wondered.  Probably not.

No matter how hard he tried, Justin couldn
’t ignore it.  The man wouldn’t stop staring, and now his smirks were also directed at Kenny.  Before Justin confronted the man, he needed to find out who this guy was and who invited him.

“
He wasn’t an invited guest,” Heather said.  “I never met him before.  He came with one of Nick’s friends.”

In the brief span of time that Justin talked with Heather, the man, who was standing about
ten feet away, looked him up and down, twice, and sneered at him both times.

Heather clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and slapped her leg. 
“What’s his problem?”

Justin narrowed his eyes, star
ed back at the man, and mouthed the word “What?”

He couldn
’t make out exactly what the man said back to him, but the last word was crystal clear.  There was no way Justin could ever mistake the word “faggot.”  And, by the looks on their faces, several other people standing nearby didn’t mistake it either.

Heather gasped so loud that everyone stopped to look in her direction.  She held a large barbeque fork, which someone promptly pried from her hand.

Justin was used to ignorant behavior, but he never expected it from a guest in Heather’s home.  It angered him more than usual, particularly because it was in front of Kenny, and because everyone was now quiet and waited for his reaction.  His heart pounded loudly, and he felt anger and humiliation burn his cheeks.  He suddenly felt like he was 13 years old again.

“
Fuck you, asshole,” he said, loud enough for everyone to hear, and his words hung in the silent air.

The man raised his brow and opened his mouth.  At first, Justin thought the man was going to laugh, but he knew the situation was about to get serious when the man marched toward him.

Justin stuck his chest out, straightened his shoulders and never averted his eyes.  The man stopped in front of him, and again called him a faggot.

Nick literally pushed people out
of his way and jumped between them.  “You better shut your fuckin’ mouth,” Nick told the man.  “You better fuckin’ apologize, right fuckin’ now.”

Justin didn
’t need or want Nick’s help.  He was used to standing up for himself.  He needed to fight his own battles.  He brushed past Nick, so he stood directly in front of the man.  “Why do you have to be so fuckin’ belligerent?  Do you know how fuckin’ stupid you sound?”

“
You’re real tough when you have Nick backing you up,” the man replied.

Justin narrowed his eyes again and leaned closer. 
“Let’s go out front, asshole.  Just me and you.  Let’s fucking go.” The man didn’t respond, so Justin taunted him.  “C’mon.  What are you waiting for?  Are you afraid a
faggot
is gonna kick your ass?”

“
Justin, stop it!” Kenny yelled.

“
Listen to your boyfriend, queer,” the man said.

Before Justin had a chance to respond, Nick punched the guy in the jaw
and threw him out of the yard.

It was the last thing Justin wanted to happen.

Kenny put his arm around Justin’s waist.  “I’m so proud of you, honey, for the way you stood up to that creep.”

Justin wasn
’t proud.  He was self-conscious and embarrassed.  He looked to Heather.  She had her arms wrapped around her waist, and her eyes gazed back at him, large and round, with the corners of her mouth bowed down into a deep frown.  He knew that she was seething during the altercation, but now her eyes bore pain and sorrow, and it tugged at his heart.  She slowly walked up to him, put her arms around his waist, and buried her face into the center of his chest, without saying a word.  To everyone else it appeared to be an ordinary hug, a display of affection and comfort between two friends, but Justin knew by the way she clung to him that she was silently crying.  It was his fault that she was upset, and he hated himself for it.  “Why are you crying, sweetie?”

“
She’s crying?” Nick asked, with surprise and concern.

Heather ignored them both, but turned her face to the side and rested her head on Justin
’s shoulder.  He loosened his embrace, and expected her to let go of him, but she didn’t.  She clung to him tighter, so he sighed, and put his arms back around her.

Kenny stroked her arm. 
“Oh, honey, take it easy.”

“
I’m sorry.”  She finally stepped back from Justin and wiped her eyes with her hands.

Kenny presented her with a big smile, and his eyes lit up. 
“Did you see the way your fiancé knocked that guy out?  Nick, honey, that was fuckin’
hot
!”

The enthusiasm behind Kenny
’s voice made Heather laugh, but Justin was bothered by Nick’s interference, even though it was well meaning.  Nick diminished his pride in front of Kenny, and in front of everyone else.  Justin fingered his bottom lip with his thumb.  “You didn’t have to do that, Nick,” he said.  “You don’t have to come to my rescue, you know.  I’m perfectly capable of defending myself, and my boy.”

Nick slung his arm around Justin
’s neck.  “I know you can take care of yourself, buddy, but I’m not about to let someone disrespect you, or Kenny, in my house.  That asshole pissed me off, and I just reacted.”

Nick had a habit of throwing his arm around your neck, but he was
a lot shorter than Justin, and always ended on tugging on Justin’s neck.  Justin usually found it amusing, but right now it annoyed the hell out of him.  Nick had the best intentions, and Justin knew that, but he wanted to handle the situation himself.  He tried to forget about the incident, move past it, but he couldn’t.  It was stuck on rewind in his head.

Justin grabbed a bottle of vodka and retreated to one of the patio tables.  He poured himself shot after shot of vodka.  The years of
torment he suffered as a child because of his sexuality came rushing back, and his self esteem took a giant nose dive.  Kenny tried to get Justin to stop drinking, but he wouldn’t listen. He wanted to get drunk.  He wanted to be in a total state of oblivion.  He wanted to numb himself to the embarrassment and pain he felt inside.

Kenny grew tired of begging him to stop drinking and walked away.  Justin leaned over the table and pulled the bottle close to his chest.  He coveted his alcohol
, like a prize, and watched Kenny talk to Heather.  He wondered what Kenny was saying.  After a few minutes, Kenny returned and tended to him.  Kenny wiped Justin’s brow and smoothed his hair back, but didn’t say anything.

The next thing Justin knew, Heather was standing next to him.
He slowly gazed up at her with two heavy, half-closed eyes.  “Are you gonna tell me to stop drinking too?” he asked.

“
Nope.  I’m gonna join you.”  She set down a large pitcher of Alabama Slammers on the table and filled three shot glasses with the cherry-colored concoction.

“
What are you doing?”  Kenny scolded her, harshly.  “I told you he’s had too much already!”

So that
’s what Kenny got up to tell Heather.  Tattletale.  “Don’t talk to Heather about me behind my back,” he said.

“
He’s worried about you, that’s all,” Heather said, in Kenny’s defense.  “He loves you, Justin.”

He was unfair.  Kenny was the last person he wanted to snap it. 
“I know.”  Justin sighed.  “I love him, too.”

“
I’m right here, honey.  Tell me, not her.”

Kenny had a concerned look on his face.  It was more than concern.  It was worry.  Justin put his arm around Kenny
’s shoulder and pulled him in for a hug.  “I’m sorry, baby.  My head’s all fucked up right now.  You know I didn’t mean it.”

After a while, his feeling poured out of him, and he told Kenny everything.  He confessed all the insecurities that he held inside of him because of the bullying he experienced as a kid.  He never showed his vulnerability to anyone before, besides Heather, and it felt good to finally talk openly about it, even though he
was feeling sorry for himself.  It turned out that Kenny dealt with a lot of the same abuse when he was in school, but not on the same level.  Justin never told any of his other boyfriends what he went through, not even David.  He never trusted anyone enough before.

Justin drained the last drop in the silver pitcher.
  It was good and he wanted more, but his vision blurred and his words slurred together incoherently.  He knew he had enough and should have stopped drinking a long time ago.  Kenny helped him to his feet and supported him as they walked toward the house.  His coordination and equilibrium were impaired by the alcohol, and it caused them to zigzag across the yard.

They passed Nick and Heather.
Justin lunged at Nick and hugged him.  “I’m sorry I was pissed before,” he said.  “I love ya, Nick.”  His intoxication made him over-affectionate, and he placed a sloppy kiss on Nick’s cheek.

Nick laughed and pushed him away.
“I love ya too, man, but don’t start kissin’ me now.”

“
Don’t worry.  You’re not my type.  You’re too butch for me.”  He cast a sultry look at Kenny.  “I like ‘em soft and pretty, like my boy here.”  He threw his arms around Kenny and knocked him off balance.

Kenny giggled. 
“Now I’m soft, huh?”

He smiled, nodded and squinted at Kenny though eyes that were barely open.  He tried to give Kenny a clu
msy wet kiss, but Kenny turned his face away.

“
Let’s get you inside and up to bed, honey.”

Vertigo almost caused Justin to tumble over the banister, and he needed both Kenny and Heather to help him up the stairs.  He plopped down on the bed and watched Kenny talk to Heather.  He was fixated on Kenny
’s lips.  They were plump and juicy.  Kenny licked them and it drove Justin crazy.  God he loved Kenny.

In one quick jolt, Justin pulled Kenny down on the bed and straddled him.  Justin
’s erection strained against his tight jeans, and he pressed it hard against Kenny.  Justin emitted a soft provocative laugh and playfully pinched Kenny’s nipples.  Justin pulled off his belt, folded it in half, and smacked it against the palm of his hand with a loud snap.  He shot Kenny an evil grin, and whacked him on the legs with the belt.  Kenny cried out with a half-scream half-laugh.  He picked himself up on his elbows and watched Justin’s crotch gyrate and grind against him.

Heather was still in the room.  She stood at the side of the bed, cap
tivated by the erotic display.

Justin flashed her a crooked smile and raised his eyebrows. 
“Sweetie, I think you better go now.”

Heather snapped back to reality.  Flustered and embarrassed, she quickly exited the room and shut the door behind her.

Justin finally had Kenny all to himself, and he wasn’t going to hold anything back.  It was fantasy fulfillment time.  He unzipped Kenny’s jeans and pulled them off in one quick motion.  Justin stripped off his own clothes and tossed them around the room.  He literally ripped the remainder of Kenny’s clothing off.  Justin’s intoxication vanished and was replaced by intense sexual desire.  He lay on top of Kenny and lowered his face so their noses barely touched.  “I’m gonna fuck you so hard.”

“
Justin!”

“
Shut up.”  Justin put his hand on the back of Kenny’s neck and gave him a hard, penetrating kiss.  He probed his tongue deep into the back of Kenny’s throat and explored every inch of his mouth.  Justin bit and sucked at Kenny’s neck.  It was soft and slightly salty.  He sunk his teeth into it.  It was delicious.  He bit down harder and it caused Kenny to cry out with a mixture of pain and pleasure.  Adrenaline ran through Justin’s body, and he panted heavily with excitement.  His moved his mouth lower and swallowed Kenny’s entire erection.