Japanese Slang (24 page)

•   
Atashi honto ni issh
kenmei shabutte shaburimakutta no ni, zenzen yowaz
ni k
ka nai no!
I sucked and sucked till I was blue in the face, but his long dong just wouldn't get hard!

Other eye-catching penises are the
hosomi
(thin body), which is long and spindly, the
namekuji
(slug),
which stays soft and small even when excited, and the
buraz
(from
burabura,
“idle”), a floppy organ that is very old. The
rippustikku
(lipstick) is completely covered by foreskin until it is put to use and the glans comes spiraling out, while the
rez
gan
(leather gun) has a remarkably long and crinkly foreskin that often bunches up at the tip. The
rokei
(uncovered root) has a foreskin so short that the glans is constantly gliding out.

The most unfortunate organs are pigeonholed as
h
kei
(covered roots). Their foreskin caps the glans so tightly that penile activity is severely hampered and
kawakiri
(skin cutting), the popular term for the phimosis operation, is called for. The taunting terms for these organs are
menashib
(eyeless stick),
kawakaburi
(skin covered),
suppon
(“mud turtle,” for pull as you may, the head will not come out), and
h
kaburi
and
h
kamuri,
the kind of kerchiefs that Western cow rustlers tied around their faces to keep their incognito.

•   
Omae h
kei to kiitan da!
We heard you've got problems with your dick!

•   
Nani yo sono dekai taid
? D
se suppon no kuse ni sa!
What's with this attitude? His dick doesn't even work right!

•   
Nan de atashi no kare anna ni hansamu na no ni, anna ni kawakaburi nan dar
.
My boyfriend is so handsome, I just wish his dick weren't so useless.