Jamie Brown Is NOT Rich (12 page)

CHAPTER 16

THE
HOUSEWARMING

Mum and Dad weren’t too happy that I’d already had a detention, but luckily for me they were distracted by the housewarming party. They bought heaps of food and Mum went to town, cooking up a feast using ingredients she could only dream about on Hovel Street.

Dad had almost figured out all the buttons for lights and music and everything else, and I could tell they were
massively
excited.

Then, it was time, and the party was a disaster … almost.

We had said 6pm on the invite, but by seven no one had turned up.

Then the doorbell rang.

‘Ah, of course,’ Dad said. ‘Rich people like to be fashionably late!’

He leapt off the couch and did a little dance. Then he ran to the front door and pressed a button to start the music. No music came on. We opened the door and saw this.

Behind Nasty Jefferson, his dad, and the security guy were all the Nasty Jeffersons from school, their parents, and the other security guys. They were soaked, and not happy.

‘Whoops,’ said Dad. ‘Sorry. Still working out the buttons. Welcome though. It’s fantastic to see you all here!’

Nasty Jefferson’s dad spoke. He had seemed kind of okay in his fancy car on Hovel Street, but we were on his turf now.

‘Your little welcome sprinkle has only served to remind us that you are not one of us. Once a peasant, always a peasant. We don’t know who you robbed to be able to afford to come here, but we know the trash pile you came from.’

Nasty Jefferson laughed. ‘Haw, haw, and don’t worry about your
friends
, peasant,’ he said to me. ‘They don’t actually like you. Even that odd Dakota girl sees you as something different, something unusual. You’re like a museum exhibit, like when I stare at a dinosaur, but …’

I cut him off.

‘A dinosaur butt? You stare at a dinosaur butt? Dude, that’s gross!’

He stuttered and stammered and tried to come back at me, but he had nothing, so he turned to his dad, who patted his shoulder and glared some more.

‘Enjoy your “party” by yourselves. No one will attend. They have been warned of the effect to their reputations. You people are like stray dogs, and I am the wolf, but …’

I cut him off too.

‘You’re the wolf butt? Dude, you stink!’

He went bright red, which made me think he was a baboon butt, not a wolf butt.

‘
SECURITY!
’ he yelled. ‘I would like to report a disturbance! Loud music being played after seven! Apprehend them.’

He walked away, the others following, while the security guys held us in a
NORTH AMERICAN ARMPIT CLENCH
(in other words, a tickle torture!) and told us to turn down the music.

They let us go, left, and we were all alone again.

We rubbed our tender armpits and went inside. I could tell Dad was really upset that no one was coming. Mum put an arm around him.

‘I’m sorry, honey. We can still have a party. Just us.’

Dad didn’t cheer up.

‘No! I don’t get it. What did we ever do to them except try and be nice?’

‘They just don’t like change,’ Mum said. ‘They don’t like people who are different, or who haven’t been rich as long as they have, or who don’t fit in with all their rules.’

She looked at me as she said that last bit, eyebrows raised. I shrugged. Dad still looked sad. I looked sad. Mum looked sad. Katie ate a bug.

Then the doorbell rang again.

I leapt off the couch.

‘I’ll get it, Dad, and if it’s those Nasty Jeffersons again, they’ll get the soaking of a lifetime.’

I ran to the door, pressed a button to turn on the lights, actually turned on the music, and when I opened the door, this is what I saw.

Seriously! She was in this pose. Her mum and dad were there, too. I hoped they were actually guests.

‘Are you here to tell us you aren’t coming?’ I asked sadly. Dakota just laughed.

‘Pfffft, that boring old trick? No way! We’re here because you’re my friend and because
WE LOVE PARTIES!
Look. We even brought games.’

I looked. She was telling the truth.

‘Dad,’ I yelled, and then Dakota pushed past me into the house. I closed the door after her parents and ran in. You should have seen Dad’s face light up.

He didn’t need a huge crowd, just people who
wanted
to be there, for real.

They only stayed for an hour, but they stayed even though they were risking their reputation. The adults all chatted and Katie burped and we played Heads Up and we laughed heaps and Dakota taught Katie how to dance.

TOP FIVE THINGS I LEARNT
ABOUT DAKOTA

1. She
loves dancing.

2. She
likes crowkay (only after she played it with me!).

3. She
laughs a lot and tells great jokes.

4. She’s
really clever and says it’s stupid that Academic Challenge is only for boys and that she wanted to be on the team.

5. She
LOVES
dancing.

Then they left.

‘Thank you so much for coming,’ Mum said. ‘We know you were asked not to.’

Dakota’s dad laughed. ‘Pishaw, it’s about time someone stood up to those bullies. If you ever need support, we’re in your corner. Thank you for having us.’

They walked towards their car.

‘Seeya Jefferson,’ I called out. Dakota laughed and waved.

‘Who’s Jefferson?’ her mum asked her as they got into their fancy car.

We watched them go, then Mum and Dad hugged. They looked so happy. I hugged them too.

Katie ate a bug.