Jagged Hearts (4 page)

Oh, there was a world of meaning in that one little word. He saw desire, but that wasn’t all he saw, and it was the other that would keep him in check. This wasn’t the time to give in. He wanted her, but he wouldn’t be used as a means for her to prove she was moving on. When they came together, and they would, there would be nothing and no one with them. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t rev her motor and probably give himself blue balls in the process. But what the hell. She was worth it.

“Yeah, let’s go for a ride,” he agreed, enjoying the way she swallowed nervously.

“You two be safe,” Tuck said. Bare watched him pat Paisley on the shoulder before he moved across the room toward the door he’d entered through, passing Bare along the way. “Tell her,” he whispered as he passed.

Bare set his jaw and dipped his chin briefly in response. Paisley squirmed in front of him, shuffling from foot to foot. She’d nervously pulled her braid over her shoulder, and her fingers tugged at the midnight strands loose at the end.

“You ready to go?” he finally asked and got her nod in response. “Where to?” He’d offered her anywhere or nowhere. Lady’s choice.

“I want to feel the wind on my face,” she whispered. “I want to feel the sun.”

She could have felt both if she’d gone out on her horse as she normally did.

“I want to feel alive,” she admitted. Her eyes dipped closed as if she couldn’t look when she said the words he sensed hovering on her lips. “I want to feel warmth.” Her words were so soft he found himself moving closer to her. “I’m cold. I’m so cold.”

He stopped in front of her. “Come here,” he said and held open his arms. He wouldn’t pull her to him this time. He could sense something in her, as if her next step was one of extreme significance. He caught his breath and waited, watching her expressive face with hooded eyes.

Then she took that final step into him, nuzzled her face against his chest and wrapped her hands around his waist, holding tight. He felt the hard tips of her breasts, the racing of her heart, matching his perfectly. Her breath was warm where it washed over him. He wanted to savor this moment, the hesitancy of her touch where she stroked her fingers against his back.

“Help me forget,” she whispered, and his heart clenched. He didn’t want to help her forget. He wanted to make her remember, remember what it felt like to be alive and to fall in love.

He eased back from her, dropping a kiss atop her head. “Let me give Levi a heads up that I’m leaving for the rest of the day.”

“Tuck knows,” Paisley said softly. Her eyes were deep, luminous pools of lush green that he could easily drown in. But not yet. She wasn’t ready.

“Still my job,” Bare stated. “I’ll just be a sec.”

He pulled his cell from his belt clip and placed the call.

“Hey, Bare,” Levi’s voice sounded as if he’d had one cup too many of coffee. The guy was all over the place as it was, never able to sit still for long. He was also addicted to the strong, dark java he favored.

“I’ll be out for the rest of the day,” Bare said. “Sterling is in house. Go through him if you need anything. Tuck has sessions today, so try not to interrupt him unless it’s an emergency.”

“Got it,” Levi said.

“I’ll have my cell with me if you need to reach me. I’ll be on the bike, so give me a bit to get back to you.”

“No problem. Everything’s quiet so far.”

Levi was in charge of the bank of computers overseeing the entire building where Knight’s Watch was housed. He knew where everyone was at any given moment and could step in to assist with a click of his mouse.

“Paisley’s with me,” Bare continued. “In case Jamison gets back and can’t reach her.”

Levi whistled through the phone. “Finally talked her into a ride, huh?”

“Fuck you,” Bare grunted out as quietly as he could, but Paisley’s lifted brow said she’d heard him loud and clear. He hung up as Levi’s chuckle filled the phone. He should have expected it. Every man here knew he had the hots for Paisley. They all knew to leave her the hell alone or they’d have to deal with him.

“Ready?” he asked and almost groaned as her perfect, white teeth peeked out to nip into her bottom lip. He wanted to feel the scrape of her teeth over his skin. He shifted his stance, trying to adjust his erection without reaching down. Damn, the things she did to him. Yet under all the desire was a need to protect her, shelter her, even from his own coarse desires.

She nodded her head and slipped her palm against his. “Ready when you are.”

He squeezed her hand and headed toward the door. He’d give her today, help her escape for a bit and forget. Then he’d have to tell her what was going on, what her bitch of a mother had planned.

Chapter Three

It had been too long since Paisley had felt so alive. It wasn’t the wind or the vibration of the motorcycle between her thighs. It was the man she clung to, breasts pressed against his back, hands wrapped around his flat stomach. The helmet prevented her from nuzzling him with her cheek, which was probably a good thing.

He’d taken her everywhere and nowhere, exactly as she’d wanted. When he finally stopped, she wasn’t sure she could get off the bike without his assistance. Her body still vibrated, and her legs were shaky. He took her hand and helped her then caught her when she stumbled against him.

“You okay?” His voice was deep, husky.

She grinned up at him. “A little unsteady on my feet but good. I should have done this sooner.”

“We’ll go anytime you want,” Bare told her, and she knew he meant it. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” she admitted, a little surprised.

He’d pulled off into the parking lot where a rustic-looking building sprawled out with a sign that read
Gilly’s
. It was hard to tell from the outside if it was a bar or restaurant or combination of both.

“Looks like a dive, but they have good food,” Bare said. His palm met the small of her back as he led her toward the door.

“Come here often?”

“A few times,” he answered with a shrug. “It’s good to get away.”

“Hey, Bare,” the guy behind the bar called as they entered.

Paisley snorted a laugh. “A few times, huh?”

He just shrugged again as he led her across the gloomy room to a small table in the back. He sat with his back to the wall, facing the door, and she chose to sit beside him instead of across from him. He lifted a brow but said nothing.

“What can I get you two?” the guy from the bar asked as he stopped in front of their table.

“Burger, fries and a beer,” Bare said and looked at her.

She had no menu and no idea what they offered.

“I’ll have the same,” she said and earned a grin from the bartender.

She noticed he stood there even after they ordered and heard Bare groan beside her.

“Gilly, this is Paisley. Paisley, this is a friend of mine. He’s a shitty friend, an even shittier bartender and owns this fucking eyesore.”

“I’m wounded,” Gilly said, but the grin on his face said otherwise. “It’s good to finally meet you, Paisley. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Bare cleared his throat, and she didn’t have to look to know he was glaring. “We’d like to eat sometime today.”

“Already put the order in,” Gilly said, pulling out a chair and joining them. “Three burgers, three fries, and when it’s ready, we’ll have three ice-cold beers to go with it.” He glanced back and forth between them, and Paisley had the feeling he saw things she wasn’t even aware of. How was it she’d known Bare for five years and never heard about this place or met Gilly?

“So, Paisley, what brings you out today?” Gilly asked.

“Gilly,” Bare said, warning in his voice.

“Bare offered to take me for a ride, and I couldn’t resist.”

Gilly coughed, Bare sighed and Paisley flushed at her poor choice in phrasing.

“Why haven’t I ever met you?” Paisley asked instead.

Gilly shrugged. “I think you’ve been busy with other things,” he said softly.

She glanced at Bare and realized Gilly must be much more than just a friend. It was more than obvious Bare had spoken about her to Gilly. She really wished she knew what he’d said.

“So how long have you known Bare?” she asked.

“Too damn long,” Gilly answered. “We played in the same sandbox together.”

She glanced back and forth between them. “Is that a military reference or a childhood one?” she finally asked.

“Childhood,” Bare said.

“Both,” Gilly answered at the same time.

“I see,” Paisley said.

“Order up!” a feminine voice yelled across the room.

“I’ll be right back,” Gilly said and stood, heading across the room from them.

“He’s interesting,” Paisley said and felt Bare tense beside her. “You’ve been friends for a long time.”

“He’s a friend, but he’s also family,” Bare admitted. “Our mom’s were cousins. We grew up together, went to school together and enlisted together. Crossed paths more than once in the desert. When we both left the service behind, we ended up here. I fell in with your dad, and Gilly started up this place.”

“Gilly is a different name. Kind of cool,” Paisley said.

“Ahh, that’s because my mother had a wicked sense of humor and didn’t think things through,” Gilly said, rejoining them and placing mugs of cold beer in front of them. “Just a sec,” he said, turning then coming back with three plates loaded with fully dressed burgers and fries.

“This looks delicious,” Paisley said.

“Of course, it does,” Gilly replied. “Now then, since you’re Bare’s girl, I’ll give you the cruel story of my name.”

Bare cleared his throat, but Gilly spoke right over him.

“My mother had an obsession with a certain show. I have a brother, Skip, and a baby sister, Ginger.” He shook his head when she gave a bark of laughter. “Easy for you to laugh. You can’t imagine the hell I went through.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to sound contrite.

“It was hell when I was a scrawny kid,” Gilly said. “But I had Bare to even my odds. Then we both grew up.” He flexed a bicep. “And filled out.”

She skimmed her glance over Bare and cleared her throat. “I see.”

“Let’s eat before it gets cold,” Bare ordered, and Gilly laughed.

She listened to the two of them chat while they ate. Sometimes bickering, sometimes laughing, but either way, she saw the bond between them. She was seeing an entirely different side of Bare. She’d known him for five years, or at least, she’d thought so. Suddenly, she realized she didn’t know much about him except he was always there for her, checking in on her and providing her with a place to vent. She’d used him, was still using him if she were honest.

She wanted him to help her forget the past, to help her learn to live again. She wanted to have sex with him, multiple times. And that meant she was still using him for selfish reasons. It was all about her. My God, was she turning into her mother?

“You okay?” Bare’s voice broke through her thoughts.

Paisley pushed her plate away, appetite gone as she came to grips with how selfish she was. Bare had been right when he’d laid into her earlier. She needed to pull her head out of her own grief and take a good look at those around her.

“Paisley?” Bare said again.

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Everything she’d been burying deep inside herself was bubbling up to the surface. She shook her head and pushed away from the table.

“Where’s your restroom?” she asked Gilly, avoiding Bare’s probing gaze. He saw too much, while she seemed to walk around with blinders.

“Down the hall to the right,” Gilly said.

Bare stood when she did and gripped her arm.

“Paisley?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” she whispered, forcing the words past her tight throat. This was always a bad time of year, a time when memories rose, forcing her to remember. She dropped her hands to her stomach. To remember things she didn’t want to. She should have stayed home and avoided everyone like she normally did.

She felt Bare’s gaze on her the entire time she walked away. She made it to the bathroom just in time, getting to the stall and dropping to her knees as the little she’d eaten came back up. Her hands were shaking when she was done, and she crossed to the sink to wash them and rinse her mouth. She splashed water on her face and took a few breaths.

Five years. It seemed like forever but not long enough. The door pushed open, and she wasn’t surprised to see Bare standing there.

“Keep any of it down?” he asked then said nothing when she shook her head.

“I’ll say my apologies to Gilly,” she said.

“No need,” Bare told her. “He understands.” He shuffled his feet.

“We need to talk.” They said the words at the same time, gazes clashing, and Paisley’s heart galloped in her chest. She stood there, bent over the sink while he held open the women’s room door. He stared at her, unspeaking, and she realized they were both waiting for the other to speak. Paisley knew he would remain closed mouthed until she broke the silence. He might look like a huge badass, but he was a gentleman down to his core.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Bare told her.

“I do. Bare, I do,” she said the words again when he shook his head in denial. “Everything you said this morning was so right. I’ve been selfish.”

“You’re not selfish,” Bare countered. “You’re grieving.”

“
Still
,” she said with a sad smile, emphasizing the word just as he had earlier.

“Christ,” he muttered. “I was out of line saying that shit to you. I’m sorry.”

“For being honest with me?” she asked. “Someone had to.”

He glanced around and held a hand out to her. “Feel like getting out of here? Fresh air, sun, and we can talk. Preferably not in the ladies’ room.”

She smiled and took his hand. “That sounds good.”

Gilly was gone when they walked back through the bar. Bare said nothing, his hand on her back, guiding her across the wood floor to the door then out into the sunlight. She turned her head up, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. She blinked them open when he urged her on. Her breath caught as they strolled around the back and she saw the pond.