Jagged Edge (4 page)

"Taste it, my rose" I parted my lips and tasted as it slid down my throat, and he took the fork and licked it, tasting my lips on it. He took the plates to the wooden formal dining table. It was my turn to talk.

"Jared. I have a past" I almost whispered

"Who doesn-" I interrupted him

"Please just let me speak and then you can tell me what it is you want."He nodded and l continued. I hated this. I hadn't told people. But he could find out and he would I had to tell him.

"When I was born, my mother was alone. She was alone because she lied about who my father was. She was married for three years and she was happy..."my voice shook as I started to speak, my eyes getting wetter.

"My mother was raped, she was alone with my uncle... my father. He forced himself on her. She fell pregnant and had me. My uncle stopped around because she didn't tell anyone. When she was 8 months pregnant, my ... he tried to hurt her again. She nearly lost me and her husband left us, he thought it was consequential. He never believed her. We grew up with no money and my uncle... or father would visit me. The only money my mother got. One time. He ...." Jared took my hand and kissed my cheek

"Its okay, my rose" I swallowed hard trying to lose the tears welling up

"He tried... he touched me. He didn't know I was his daughter, he paid for me because I was his niece. He didn't do anything but touch me but my mother found out. She kicked him out. I haven't seen him for a long time and I hope I never do. I have ... I'm scared inside from him. Mentally and physically. I promised I wouldn't be used anymore. But you... You make it hard for me. I tried to stay away, Jared. I'm not sure I can. " I sighed in relief. He cupped my face in his palm, and kissed my lips just once.

"I'm so sorry, that's why you buckled in the car when I first had you alone. I had no idea. You are so beautiful my little rose. If you need more. I will do what I can. I'm new to all this. I'm not sure what I'm doing. We all have reasons for why we are the way we are" he was so sweet and kind.

"And what are your reasons?" He kissed my palm and I saw a glimmer of water in his eyes

"If it is possible mine are even more shocking than yours" he held my hand to his heart as its beat was racing. I could tell that was more than he had told anyone and this was as intimate.as he had ever been without sex. For the first time in a long time I felt warm and safe. Unafraid.

Chapter Six

We stayed up all night, talking, holding, kissing. It felt so perfect, but it burnt inside knowing he had a dark secret that he maybe couldn't tell me. He told me very few things about himself. He told me he had never felt love, he had never known love and never believed it would exist. He looked so deep into my eyes it almost terrified me, I almost fled then, a darkness I had never seen before. He told me his father had been a wealthy man and that's all he told me about his family. He always had a guard up, and I feared if I let myself, he would hurt me and I'm not sure I could stand after. I slipped off of the sofa I had fallen asleep in his arms some point in the night, I watched his sleeping frame for a second, his eyes fluttered open. He looked like a lost boy and I loved that look, it was without the mask.

"My rose, where are you going?" he was groggy, and sleepy and somehow crazily cute

"Breakfast?" I said enthusiastically he looked at his Rolex, and his eyes popped wide, and a slightest hint of panic hit his face

"Shit, you have to go" he got up fast and grabbed me to him

"Why, what's wrong?" I had known him two minutes but him telling me to leave, like I was nothing, that hurt.

"I can't, please just for once do as I say" he gathered my things, and gave them to me and pushed the small of my back to the elevator.

"Fuck, I drove here..." he grabbed his wallet from his trouser pocket and shoved a twenty in my hand"...here, your address, 19 Sinners Road, probably guess why I chose it. Call a cab, this should be enough"

I felt used and stupid, like a common street walker, tears pricked my eyes but I refused to let him see, he didn't want me. He just wanted to know my damage and know he could have me, now he could just throw me out. We waited for the elevator.

"Too late" he whispered in a angry tone. The elevator opened and a young man stepped out. He was about twenty, he had dark hair, rich brown, chocolate brown, he smiled at Jared and winked at me.

"This must be Ms. Payne. Newest play thing I have heard very little about" he reached out his hand, and I looked into his eyes. The same dark intensity

"Oh my apologies; Harrison, Jared's brother, Or at least the only one he acknowledges. So he has worked fast, already in his private apartment. Nice work, emerald eyes." he stood at six foot, and yet that wasn't what got me looking up to him, I fell at his mercy, if he told her to kiss his boot I may have actually considered it. He was a dominant man, and he was possibly even more sexually intense than Jared.

Jared stared at me, and I was shocked he was terrified, so terrified. What the hell had just happened, who was this man. What was Jared scared of? Then I didn't have to question it anymore.

"So he given you your collar yet, I assume that's why you are so mute" he mused and smirked at Jared as Jared glared at him

"Collar? What-" but I was interrupted by Jared

"Mel, I ... I planned to talk to you about something else. I don't want to discuss this now" he pulled me to the side.

"Please leave, trust me. I will tell you everything"

I had somehow gotten home - not home, it wasn't a home it was a bribe. I put my hand around my neck and the word echoed, 'collar', was that what they meant, a collar, around my throat. What the hell was he. I let the tears spill out as I lay on the red silk sheets, I lay there for what felt like an eternity, my eyes burnt and I had no idea what the hell I was doing, crying, why? I never cried. Pain, emotions or otherwise didn't effect me.

"Get off me!" I yelled, my eyes squeezed shut, I begged in my mind. Get your weight off of me, don't touch me please. I saw as my mother sat in the corner of the room, watching, sobbing. I called to her as I felt him rip my dress, I gasped and I couldn't help it. I screamed, so loud, my voice scratched it my throat

"Mummy!" I yelled so loud and she sobbed harder. I looked into his eyes and he grinned so devilishly I cried, tears burnt my cheeks and he whispered

"You like it, I know it" I almost howled through my tears ...

"Mel!, Mel!, wake up. Please wake up!" the voice. Jared. My Jared. I opened my eyes and grabbed him, and cuddled hard, I didn't care what he had said before I needed to he held. I needed him. I needed this. I hadn't dreamt like that ... I don't remember when I last dreamt that. I hoped he hadn't heard too much, I didn't totally explain what happened before. I didn't want him to pity me or worse hate me.

"Mel, what the hell happened, your face, you were crying. What's wrong. You called for me in your sleep" he was so worried. I was almost touched. I called for him? Why would I. I felt as he brushed my tears away and I swallowed hard and tried to compose myself, I looked up at him.

"How did you get in?”

“I kept it in case of an emergency; I know I probably shouldn’t have but I’m glad I did now”

“We need to talk, about the collar thing, what was that? You said you would tell me" he held my hand tight in his, so sweet, so intimate, he looked at me through misty eyes and it made me scared. Jared wasn't who I met a couple weeks ago, he was now broken, in front of me.

"Mel, now? You were screaming a second ago and I-"

"I want to know, Jared. Please" I kept my voice steady even though I could feel the lump in my throat.

"I... when I said what I wanted from you, I wasn't entirely open. I'm not who you think I am. For the first time in my life I wish I was who you thought I was..." he took his fingers to my cheek, and stared so longing into my eyes, he moved his fingers lower down to my jar, and as he opened his palm and splayed it around my bare throat my pulse quickened, he could feel every thump of my heart on his hand.

"...Melissa, do you trust me?" I only breathed the answer, not sure if I even trusted myself

"Yes" he pushed a little tighter around my neck, I swallowed and felt my throat constricted my the pressure of his hand, he came close, licked his lips

"I'm not who you think I am, my hand print, bruises from my fingers around your naked throat will be there for days if I choose for them to be. The thing is, I need to own you. I shouldn't have had you before I explained all this but you were like a spark, so bright, I couldn't resist. Never have I felt the way I did when I looked at you, I got hard right then, because I imagined you with a leather collar buckled to your neck and having you as mine" his voice broke a little "But now, I'm not sure I can take away your freedom again like that. I'm not sure I want to. I'm not sure what the hell to do. I don't ... I'm an owner I possess things. I don't cherish them. I used them and discard them when I'm finished. I have had many collared and then when I decided she was unworthy I would tell her to leave and she would. She was no longer mine. I broke hearts, I fucked married women and I made them fall in love with me. I'm a monster, but I don't know how to be anything else. I didn't till you, no one has made me as angry as you do and ... I have never fucked anyone the way I did you. Without hurting you. I have a reputation, under a different name. In the underground where I'm known I'm Master Ora. I know it sounds ridiculous, I wish I wasn't whatever I am" he sighed, defeated, scared.

I looked at him open mouthed, thinking about everything. Every word. I sat for five minutes in complete and utter silence. I looked at him and my heart smashed, for the second time tonight all I wanted was for him to hold me.

"Okay, collar me" I whispered.

Chapter Seven

He looked at me like I was dead, like I was something so terrible he hated to look at me. My mouth went dry. I hadn't known him long and what had I just asked of him? did I just sell my soul to the devil?

His pink lips parted and I waited, his eyes not leaving mine.

"No" he said it almost angry, at me or himself I didn't know. His hand pushed over my cheek and I closed my eyes, my skin tingling to his touch, a single tear escaped my eye.

He whispered low and breathy "I can't".

My body felt like it was falling. He kissed me on the forehead and watched me as he left my apartment. I just looked into nothing, the space his body had been in not so long ago. I should have stopped him but if I stood I would shatter on the floor. He said no. He didn't want me. He walked out without me. It was absurd to feel this empty, but the thought of that dream, I just needed comfort.

I rolled over in my bed and cried myself to sleep praying that dream would leave me be.

I woke up, and checked my phone, no calls or texts on the phone he gave me. I went into the bathroom, it was larger than it really needed to be. Who even has a sofa in the bathroom? surely that isn't normal. I showered, I smelt of him, then got ready for work. I was dreading seeing him. The car as always picked me up, it shocked me he bothered but maybe he forgot to tell Eric. I made it to the building, I shut my eyes and clenched them tight, wanting to disappear. I went inside and the man who had spoken to me, who Jared had dragged me from was leaning by the elevator waiting to go to his floor.

I smiled at him and walked over

"Hey,beautiful. What was that last night? You fuck up? He looked like he was going beat you" he said with mostly concern in his voice.

"It was nothing, he just gets angry. So how are you?" I asked trying to change the subject, the elevator arrived and we slide in, it was empty.

"I'm good, better for seeing you. You are stunning you know that?"

I felt my cheeks flush and even though it was so nice to have a compliment I felt guilty for blushing, guilty to him. I was confused; I never got attention, what happened to me between Milton Keynes and London?

"Thank you" I said shyly he smiled, and the elevator stopped at the next floor I asked him what his name was and he said it was Alistair, he was very good looking, no Jared but still good looking enough. The elevator stopped and reached the next floor, and I felt a hand caressing my arse cheek. I looked at Alistair and he winked at me, suddenly I think I knew why he touched me like that, why he was squeezing my arse cheek.

Jared stood, his white shirt pulled into his sculpted chest, my breath caught in my chest and his gaze tore into me, then his eyes dropped at Alistairs hand and his nostrils flared, his eyes went dark and I watched as his jaw tightened. He stood the other side of me and his hand grazed me, my heart was beating so fast, the silence was deafening and Alistair reached his floor. He pulled me in for a hug and whispered in my ear.

"You will thank me later, sweetness" with that he pushed his lips onto mine and moaned as he kissed me, he grinned and waved as he left us, I was in shock, what the hell did he just do! Me and Jared were alone, he moved away from me and suddenly the elevator stopped. His eyes were so angry.

"Really? I am trying, least you could be is considerate" he howled, he was trying? for what?

"You left me, you don't own me.You lost the right to ask anything of me when you left" I walked over to the buttons and went to push the emergency button back but he got there first and pushed me back a little.

"l'm not finished, I am protecting you Melissa, just fucking let me!”

"Just fire me already" He looked at me, his eyes softer

"Mel , I don't want to hurt you. But I can't stop myself. His lips on you, drove me crazy. I shouldn't have left. I know but I just don't want to break you. You are so fragile" he whispered the last four words.

"Isn't it my right to decide? Please. I don't know why but I feel like this is right" I felt so uncertain, I hoped it didn't show in my voice.

He grabbed my arms and pushed them above my head

"You need to know what you are asking for" he pushed his moist tongue inside my mouth. He pushed on my arms hard and I gasped. He kissed so deeply, stroking my tongue with his, I really wanted to run my fingers through his hair but his hands held me too tight. I felt the bruises being pushed into my arm and he bit my lip hard. He pushed away from me, his erection obvious.