Jaded (The Butterfly Memoirs) (13 page)

“Are you okay?” He touched my face, brushing a strand of hair from my cheek, his caress tender enough that I felt the urge to cry.

Unable to speak, I nodded. Why was he so good to me? During the one time in my life when I decided to stay away from romantic entanglements, why now? Then I felt it again, the annoying tug signifying the moment my heart threatened to be lost to a man. Damn.

I couldn’t let it happen. Not this time, not with a man as perfect as Zachariah Givens.

A man just as determined as I to keep love away.

I forced the steel cage protecting my heart back in place, determined not to allow myself to think of this evening as more than just a good time.

Chapter 15

I wasn’t satisfied.

The heavily lidded gaze Yasmine held beneath me read the same way. She wanted more, too. I assessed my body; I was still hard, buried deep within the delicious heat of her body. How in the world did we stay on the couch?

Another session of sex on this narrow piece of furniture and we’d be on the floor. My bed is where we needed to be. That’s where we were going as soon as I could stand.

I found enough energy to sit up and remove my weight off of her. My eyes lingered over every inch of her coffee-with-too-much-cream complexion. The skin around her toffee colored nipples showed evidence of the attention I’d shown, the hollows of her cheeks flushed pink. Her grey eyes were trained on me as I separated our bodies and settled on the narrow space on the sofa next to her. After a moment, she sat up and ran fingers through her hair in an effort to straighten her appearance. I pulled her hand away.

“It’s perfect the way it is.” Her eyes lowered at my remark. “Yasmine, leave it.” Manly pride warmed my chest.

There was nothing like making a woman forget about her appearance during a hot session of sex.

I stood and held a hand out. “Let me take you to bed.”

Yasmine looked around the room. “Where is your bed?”

I inclined my head, indicating the steps. “It’s in the loft.”

She followed my gaze. “Wow. I can only imagine what type of view you have from up there.”

“It’s nice, but right now, I’m only interested in the view of your body on my sheets. I’m not done with you, Yasmine.”

A sexy, slow smile spread across her face as her gaze met mine. “What do you have in mind?” She slid her hand up my shoulder and brushed her naked body against me.

I groaned, wanting nothing more than to visit all the places I had been and discover more. I bent down, locked my arm beneath her knees, and swept her off her feet. A burst of surprised laughter came as she locked her arms around my neck and held tight as I carried her upstairs. Yasmine was light in my arms.

Upstairs, I lay her down on the bed and watched the movement of her body as she scooted towards the headboard. A naughty smile spread as she beckoned me with a finger to lie between her open thighs.

I stalked my way across the bed, up her body, and placed my hands on both sides of her head. She pulled me down to her luscious mouth.

It was going to be a long night.

####

Images of what we’d done over the past few hours ran through my mind as I stared at the ceiling. The only light illuminating the room came from the wide windows across the large open space. A shift in the bed brought my attention to the beautiful woman lying beside me.

Yasmine’s light skin seemed to glow in the moonlight. Her eyes were closed as she drifted in the afterglow of another vigorous work out. Man, did she have stamina. I had no problem keeping up.

I took the opportunity to study her. It was impossible to decide what about Yasmine drew me more. Was it the curves of her body that had wrapped around me as we pleasured each other? Or was it her plump lips that showed me pleasure in ways I forgot existed?

I turned on my side, careful not to wake her.

Her throat was slender; the hint of fragrance she wore pulled me to that spot to kiss the soft flesh. Her heart had raced against my lips as I traveled, tasted, and savored everything about her. Then there were her breasts, smaller than most women I’d been with, but perfect in every way. The taste still lingered on my tongue.

My eyes settled on her taut belly, soft and long, leading to perfect hips, the delicious spot in-between, and legs that went on for days. Man, did she know how to use them. I couldn’t remember Yasmine ever mentioning she took gymnastics as a kid. Whatever the case, she was flexible, fulfilling every request I made of her.

And damn, even her manicured toes were sexy.

Yasmine shifted in her sleep; the sigh of a satisfied lover escaped. Then her eyes opened and I knew exactly what captivated me.

It wasn’t the color or the sexy cat-like shape. It was the emotion, the soul hidden deep within the grey mist, hiding what she didn’t want the world to know. She used her mind, quick wit, and sexuality to hide her feelings.

I could see well beyond the sexy exterior, past the hurt, past the pain, and into the heart of who she truly was.

A woman who wanted to love - and be loved.

Had I ever seen this side of Melissa?

Yasmine stretched and rolled over onto her back. “Tell me about your father.”

I felt my eyebrows rise. “You want to talk about my father?”

She covered her eyes and laughed. “I know, I know, it’s crazy to bring it up. It’s just looking at you now; you remind me of a picture of him your mother keeps on the fireplace.” She glanced my way and laughed again.

“You mean after all of this you’re not thinking about doing it again, you’re thinking of my father?”

Yasmine rested a hand on my chest, laughter gone as she stared me in the eyes. I felt her leg slid up along my thigh, her knee stopped at my groin. Her hand slid down my chest, finding my manhood. “Does this feel like me thinking about your father?”

I chuckled. “Hell, no.” I pushed up from the bed and met her halfway. She caressed me while I ran a hand through the short waves of her hair as we kissed.

My attention went back to her throat just as she pulled away, releasing her hold on me. “What?” I tracked her like prey as she sat back and smiled.

“You’re not getting out of it that easy. Let’s talk for a little while. I like talking to you.”

I liked talking to her too, always, but after the way she’d wound me up, it was difficult to think of anything else but getting inside of that body of hers.

I leaned back and sighed. “What do you want to know?”

She sat up again, treating me to an eyeful of her tight breasts. I salivated at the memory of her taste.

“Why don’t you talk about him? Your mother does all the time, but you’ve never mentioned him other than telling me he died.”

“I don’t talk about him because I can’t remember him,” I blurted. My eyebrows lowered. “I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that.”

“You don’t remember your father?” Yasmine’s voice was a gentle whisper as her hand came back to my chest.

I pushed my hands behind my head and stared at the ceiling. “I can remember bits and pieces. I was young when he died. I had only eight years to get to know him. I wish we had more time. Everything I know about him I learned from my mother and looking at pictures. The only thing I know for sure is I’m a spitting image of him.”

Yasmine was silent for a moment. “I’m sorry, Zack.”

I reached for her hand and kissed her fingertips. “Why?”

“Because…according to you mother, you would have been able to learn so much from him. He seemed like a very good man.”

“That he was.”

My mother made sure I knew everything about Charles Givens. Since there were no men around to mentor me into manhood, my mother often recited the trials and tribulations she and my father had faced during the course of their marriage. Her tales served as a guidepost to the way I lived my life.

To the way I treated the ones I cared for most.

“She’s still in love with him. A love like that doesn’t come around very often.”

The tone in Yasmine’s voice drew my attention. “No, apparently not. Once I thought I found it, but…”

The room fell silent; I couldn’t even hear her breathing.

Why the hell would I mention my past relationship at a time like this? What was wrong with me?

I ran a hand over my eyes and rubbed hard. Images of Melissa in this very bed flooded my memory. This place had been ours. The start of a life we were building together. Now, for the first time in a year, I wasn’t alone. I was here with a woman who…

I forced my sigh to stay inside. I was with a woman I was falling for.

A woman who wanted sex and nothing more.

I needed to remember that.

Our arrangement did nothing to ease the thoughts plaguing me since the night we kissed in the garden. If anything, it solidified my desire to develop a relationship based on more than the hot sex we had.

“What are you thinking about?”

I opened my eyes to find her studying my face.

“Nothing,” I lied.

I wanted to pull her back down and get lost in her smile, her body, her touch, her taste... I wanted to be lost in the comfort I hadn’t had since the day my ex left. It seemed as if every time Yasmine was near, the issues of my past relationship disappeared.

A shift in the bed brought my attention back.

“Where are you going?”

Yasmine moved to the edge of the mattress, her back towards me. “It’s time for me to go.”

“Go?” I glanced at the bedside clock. “It’s nearly two A.M. You don’t have to leave.” I sat up.

She shook her head and glanced over her shoulder. “No, I need to go. We did what we’d set out to do…and a damn good job at it, too.” She smiled softly. “This relationship isn’t meant to be more than what it is, Zack.”

“And that is?”

“Really good sex, once a week.” She reached for the only article of clothing in my room, her heels.

What the hell?

“Yasmine, you can’t leave. Stay…please.”

She walked to the steps leading downstairs and the remainder of her clothes and paused to look at me. The moonlight illuminating her bright skin was breathtaking, a memory I would never forget.

“I can’t.  In order for this to work so neither of us gets hurt, we need to have some rules.”

“Rules?” I repeated like an idiot.

“Yes. Once a week. Friday nights, if that’s okay. I prefer coming here because you showing up at the hotel will raise too many questions.”

I held my tongue and forced myself to listen.

“I won’t spend the night, not tonight, not ever.”

I opened my mouth to object, but she held up a hand.

“No, Zack. As great as it would be to sleep here and have sex in the morning…it’ll just complicate things.”

“Complicate how?” I already knew the answer. After just one evening, I could feel the change in our relationship. Could it be a bad thing to give in and see where this took us?

“Feelings, Zack.  Neither of us wanted the hassle of one-night stands. We wanted someone we could trust.” Her voice lowered as her eyes did. “I enjoy spending time with you with our clothes on. I also enjoyed the time with our clothes off.” Her gaze turned to my body as I stood and walked towards her, unashamed of my nakedness.

“Okay, fine, I get it. You want to protect yourself. But please, Yasmine…it’s almost two in the morning. You don’t need to be out by yourself this late at night.”

Yasmine ignored my words and walked downstairs to retrieve her crumpled dress and panties from where I left them.  “It’s sweet of you to think of my safety, but—”

“But, nothing. You’re not leaving at this time of the night. If you need to leave after we have sex, fine, but you will not leave my house after midnight. If you think that’s going to happen, then forget it. We can end this affair now.”

Yasmine spun to face me, irritation on her face. I couldn’t care less if I irritated the hell out of her. She would not be the only one who dictated the rules of our newfound arrangement.

And wouldn’t you know the anger on her face made me hard again. Damn. I gritted my teeth. My action forced her eyes away from mine and down my body. That wicked smile of hers returned, making me harder.

“I think a part of you doesn’t feel the same way your mouth does.”

I ignored her attempts to belittle my feelings on the situation. “I’m not thinking with my dick, Yasmine. I’m serious. Sex or no sex, your safety is important to me. Stay tonight and leave in the morning. You can have the bed and I’ll sleep downstairs.”

Her attention shot to the sofa where we’d spent the first few minutes of tonight’s new found relationship.

One of her thin eyebrows cocked as she smirked. “You’d sleep there instead of your bed? After everything we’ve done to each other.”

“If it’s what it takes to make you stay until the morning, then yeah.” I forced myself to breathe slowly and ignore the images of taking her on the couch. There would be no way for me to fall asleep tonight knowing she was still in my house.

Yasmine inclined her head in contemplation. “I’ll stay tonight, but I’m not sticking around for breakfast.”

I conceded the point.

The soft rustle of fabric and clatter of shoes as they hit the hardwood floor brought my attention back. Yasmine walked over and slipped her arms around my neck. Her hot body pressed against me, and one of those lovely legs wrapped around my ankle.

“Since I’m still here and you’re obviously awake, why don’t we make the most of the time we have left before the morning when we go back to being friends.”

Her comment stung. Regardless, I wanted more of her. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever fully be sated.

I pulled her in my arms, kissed her deeply, slid my hands down to her hips and picked her up again. No way would we make it back upstairs.

Chapter 16

“Yasmine, are you paying attention?”

“What?” I blinked. My parents and brother were staring at me.

A snort from my brother reminded me of the one he did when I got in trouble when we were kids. My attention immediately went to my mother who stared at me, irritation evident in her blue eyes.