Jaci Burton (25 page)

that girl was an appropriate friend for you.”

Ava’s stomach knotted. No one was good enough for Ava

according to her father. After al , Lacey’s parents were blue

col ar. Not the right connections for the great Senator Vargas’s

daughter. She tried to love her parents, but their narrow-

minded view of the world made it so damn hard.

“So if you didn’t hear it from Lacey, how did you know?”

“Because I’ve had you under surveil ance. The Feds put

someone undercover to watch you.”

“What? Are you kidding me? When?”

“As soon as you hooked up with the Hel raisers for bike

week.”

No. That couldn’t be. She would have noticed. She always

noticed. Her father had security personnel tailing her al the

time. She’d become an expert at dodging security detail when

she wanted to be alone with a date, or go out with her friends.

Security personnel were always so obvious. And if there’d

been a federal officer . . .

Undercover.

Undercover in the Hel raisers? Who? And why?

Her curiosity turned to anger. “You had me watched? I want

to know why.”

Her father took a seat on the sofa across from hers. She

noted the crisp, perfectly starched line in his trousers, thought

of her mother. Everything so perfect . . . nothing out of place.

“As you can imagine, there was some concern about my

daughter being involved with a gang suspected of heavy

involvement in drug distribution. You know I head the

committee drafting major antidrug legislation. I told you that

when you made contact with Lacey after she joined that gang.”

Ava rol ed her eyes. “I wasn’t joining the gang, Dad. I was

trying to reach Lacey.”

“Nevertheless, imagine how it would look if you somehow

got tangled up with this gang, with drugs, and me heading this

committee. It could seriously undermine this important

legislation.”

Yes, God forbid the
legislation
be harmed.

“And you were so worried about the harm I’d do that you put

someone undercover to keep an eye on me.”

“To protect you from harm.”

Bul shit. More likely to preserve his reputation.

“And it turns out my fears weren’t unwarranted. Look at the

mess you got yourself into. It’s a good thing we had a federal

agent on hand to save the day.”

Instantly it clicked. Rick. Oh, God, it was Rick. He was the

federal agent.

That’s why he’d “dumped” her. That’s why he’d nearly run

out of her apartment that night. He couldn’t tel her who he

real y was. Then again, maybe she was just his assignment

and nothing more. Maybe he didn’t care about her.

Or maybe he did, and he wasn’t supposed to.

God, she had to know, had to talk to him and find out.

“I want to talk to this federal agent.”

Her father shook his head. “Not possible.”

“It’s possible and you know it. I want to see Rick and now.”

Her father raised his brows. “You do not speak to me that

way, Ava.”

Ava stood, so angry she could barely breathe. “Look. You’re

the one who set me up. Do you think I’m such a child that you

couldn’t have just come to me and talked to me rational y

about your concerns? I’m an adult, Father. I understand

legalities and your job and your reputation and PR. But no, you

continue to worry more about the shit I might step in and how it

might affect you, and worry less about how I feel. So now I

don’t care how you feel. I need to talk to Rick.”

Her father looked stunned. Good. It felt damn good to final y

unload her frustrations on him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. You have always

been treated wel .”

“Yes, like a caged pet.”

Her father stood. “I don’t need to listen to this.”

“Find Rick for me.”

He shook his head. “Getting involved with an undercover

federal agent is unacceptable.”

She rol ed her eyes, frustration knotting her stomach. “Oh

please. He’s a federal agent. How much more aboveboard

can it get?”

“No. I won’t have it.”

Then she realized her father’s refusal had nothing to do with

Rick, or even her. It was about him, his political career. He

di d n’ t care how she felt, never cared about what was

important to her or what she wanted. Somewhere down the

road he’d probably find some lawyer or politician that he

thought would be a good match for her. Love didn’t matter with

him. It never had. There was no love between her parents, so

that shouldn’t surprise her. He’d expect her to be dutiful and

find a man who would cement his political career.

Hel could freeze over before she al owed that to happen.

She marched to the front door and opened it. “Good-bye,

Father.”

“We’l speak again soon.”

Not likely.

She closed the door behind him, blinking back the tears

that pricked her eyes.

Now she had no idea how to find Rick, no clue which branch

of the government he even worked for.

And without her father’s connections, she was afraid Rick

was lost to her.

“H
e’s moping.”

“It’s pathetic, real y.”

“He might need an antidepressant.”

“Or, I could beat the shit out of him.”

“I’m
in
the fucking room, assholes.” Rick refused to turn

around and acknowledge the other Wild Riders, who’d

decided to give a verbal report to their superior officer,

General Grange Lee, on the state of Rick’s emotional health.

General Lee rounded the corner of the main living area,

where Rick was trying to lose himself in a video game.

“Is that true? You moping?”

“No, sir. I’m playing video games.”

“Yeah, he’s playing video games,” Diaz said, coming

around to stand next to Grange. Diaz crossed his arms and

stared down at Rick. “And he’s sucking at al of them.”

Grange arched a brow. “Rick, sucking at video games?

You’re the house champ.”

“I’m a little off my game.”

AJ leaped over the sofa and grabbed one of the control ers.

“Seriously off his game. Even Jessie can beat him.”

“Hey, dickhead, I heard that.” Jessie sauntered into the

room, stuck out her tongue at AJ, and linked her arm with

Diaz’s. “But seriously, Rick, you do look kind of sad.”

“I’m not sad. I’m not depressed. I’m not moping. Why don’t

you al leave me the hel alone?”

“Now what fun would that be?” Mac asked as he came in,

an apple in his hand. “You know none of us get to have

secrets.”

“I don’t have any secrets.”

“He’s hung up on his last assignment,” Spence said,

leaning his beefy frame against the doorway.

Rick had just about enough. He tossed the control er on the

table and stood. “My last assignment is over.”

“Yeah,” Spence said with a laugh. “And that’s your problem.

You fel in love with her.”

“Spoken by someone who knows al too wel what it’s like to

fal in love while on assignment,” Jessie teased.

Spence nodded. “You got me pegged, darlin’. In fact, my

lady is waiting for me at home. My paperwork is done,

Grange. I’m outta here.” Spence pivoted, but stopped and half

turned. “Rick, trust me. If you love her, go tel her. The ache

doesn’t go away.”

“I don’t love her.” But he couldn’t look at any of them when

he said it, because that was his problem. He couldn’t stop

thinking about Ava, couldn’t get her face out of his mind. He

didn’t like the way he’d left her, the things he’d said to her.

He’d hurt her. It was wrong.

“Al of you, go find something to do. You, come with me.”

Grange motioned to Rick. And when Grange commanded,

you went.

The rest of the team scattered, and Rick fol owed Grange

into his office. The general shut the door and they took seats

in front of the general’s desk.

“Okay, so this Ava Vargas. You love her?”

Leave it to Grange to be direct. “I don’t know.”

“Then go find out.”

“She was an assignment. She doesn’t even know who I

real y am.”

“Then go tel her.”

“Her lifestyle isn’t conducive to—”

“Boy, quit drumming up excuses. You guys had shit for

upbringings, and very little love in your lives when you were

younger. If it comes to you now, don’t spit in its face. Now get

on your bike, go back to Las Vegas, and see if you can find a

way to make it work with this woman.”

And just like that, it al fel together. Grange was right. “Yes,

sir.”

The fresh air of campus had done a lot to clear her head.

Seeing the colorful trees lining the sidewalks, stopping at a

bench to eat lunch and soak up the fal weather al helped

keep her mind off Rick. Spending time at the library and

working with the counseling office to investigate different

schools’ Ph.D. programs kept her busy enough that Rick

didn’t creep into her mind until she crawled into bed at night.

Only then did his face appear before her, only then did her

mind dredge up memories of his hands on her, his mouth on

her. Only then did her heart ache from missing him.

So she spent as much time as possible on campus, and

she went to the gym for a couple hours every day, hoping by

the time she fel into bed at night she’d be physical y and

mental y exhausted.

Her backpack fil ed with brochures and laden down with her

laptop, she took a brisk walk from the library on her way to the

administration building, breathing in the crisp air.

She paused when she heard the revving sounds of a

motorcycle approaching behind her, sucked her bottom lip

between her teeth, and shook off the moment of melancholy.

The bike would pass her shortly, and so would the feeling of

loss.

The bike slowed as it approached behind her. She waited

for it to turn at the nearby corner.

Go away. I don’t want to hear you. I don’t want to think

about him.

She heard the bike’s throttle revving as it drew closer,

closer. Unable to help herself, she turned, her heart leaping as

Rick pul ed up alongside her.

He parked just ahead of her, climbed off his bike, and

removed his helmet, shaking out his dark hair.

He looked so damn good dressed in black leather chaps

and matching jacket she wanted to melt right there on the

cement walkway. She licked her lips, parched for a taste of

him, for his touch.

“What are you doing here?” she asked as he stepped up to

her.

He didn’t say a word, just pul ed her into his arms and

kissed her, a kiss fil ed with longing, with passion, that spoke

volumes without him needing to say a word. He wrapped his

arms around her, pul ed her backpack off her shoulders so he

could hold her closer. She moaned, felt like she was home

again as she moved into his embrace, as his tongue swept in

and found hers. And when he final y broke the kiss, she was

out of breath, panting from shock and excitement and wonder.

“My name is Rick Benetti and I work undercover for the

United States government. We’re cal ed the Wild Riders, a

special group of operatives. Not many people know who we

are, because we work special projects for the government. I

was assigned to keep an eye on you because of who your

father is. My assignment didn’t include kissing you, touching

you, making love to you, or fal ing in love with you, but I did al

of those.”

Stunned speechless, Ava could only look at him, and listen,

her heart rejoicing at what he said.

“I can’t tel you how bad I feel about what I said to you that

night at the apartment. Part of it was needing to retain my

cover. The other part was fear. No one has ever loved me

before, Ava. I didn’t know how to handle it and I didn’t handle it

wel at al . I’m sorry. I hurt you and I know it and I feel like an

asshole. If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t slept since I

left you.”

She smiled. “That does make me feel a little better.”

“There’s a hole inside me without you. I hurt when I’m not

with you. And I think that’s what love is al about. It means you

hurt when you’re not with the person you love.”

She let the tears fal down her cheeks. She laid her hand on

his chest, felt the strong beat of his heart. “Love is a scary

thing. It’s risky.”

“I know. I’m afraid. I’ve never told anyone that before in my

life.”

“I’m afraid too, Rick. But you’re worth the risk.”

“So are you.”