Authors: Nauti,wild (Riding The Edge)
what you said to her. Thank you for that.”
He shrugged. “She’l be fine. She just needs some time to
realize what an asshole he was. It shouldn’t take long for the
hurt to be replaced by some righteous anger.”
Ava nodded. “I just hope he burns for a long time.”
Rick put on his helmet and smiled as he climbed on the
bike. “Oh, he wil . Trust me.”
It was late by the time they made it back to Las Vegas. Rick
drove Ava to her apartment and carried her bag upstairs.
She’d never brought him here. For some reason it felt . . .
strange. She was nervous. What would he think?
She opened the door and he went in, set the bag down on
the floor, and waited while she stepped in and flipped on the
light.
“This is nice.”
Nice
. Wasn’t he just oh so polite? She scanned the room,
trying to see what he saw. Two sofas positioned perfectly in
front of the fireplace. Nothing on the tabletops. Not a speck of
dust. No knickknacks, no art on the white wal s.
Nothing at al to indicate anyone with a personality lived
here.
It was boring. Sterile. Devoid of life. She thought of Rick, of
the color of his life. He might have no wal s and no furniture,
but his life was ful .
“I’m usual y at school. I haven’t real y . . . uh . . . given much
thought to decorating.”
“How long have you lived here?”
“Two years.”
He cocked his head. “There’s nothing of you here, Ava.”
She twisted her fingers together. “Force of habit, I’m afraid.”
“Which means what, exactly?”
“Decorating equals clutter, unless it’s done precisely right
and only my mother has that magic touch. I was never al owed
much in the way of . . . things as a child.”
“Things?”
“Leaving things out. Toys, books . . . anything real y.
Everything had to be put away. God forbid your life and your
interests should be put on display so others could get a
glimpse into who you were.”
Had she just said that out loud? Dear God.
“Sorry. I don’t usual y vomit out such personal information
about my life and my family.”
Rick laughed and took her hand. “I like who you are. I think
you should show yourself off. This isn’t your parents’ place. It’s
yours. Isn’t it time you be yourself?”
“Yes. It is.” And she could already envision splashes of color
—pil ows and fabric and art on the wal s and placemats and
plants and . . . clutter. How she had changed during the short
period she’d hung out with Rick.
He’d been good for her, had drawn her out of her shel , out
of her fears of living life and just existing on the fringes.
“Would you like something to drink? I have soda and bottled
water. No beer or anything. Sorry.”
“Bottled water would be fine.” He shrugged out of his jacket
and laid it on the top of the sofa. “Did you want me to hang this
up?”
She laughed. “No.”
And wasn’t that a first? She didn’t even twitch when she
said it. Maybe there was hope for her after al .
She went into the kitchen and grabbed a couple bottles of
water, then came back and sat on the sofa. He sat next to her
and she handed him a bottle. As they drank, she pondered.
What was going to happen now? To them? She didn’t want
this to be over. Not after realizing how much life he’d brought
to her, how he’d changed everything about her. She was more
relaxed now, less tense, less worried about what other people
thought.
She wanted more of that. She wanted more of him.
She shifted to face him. “What’s going to happen to Bo
now?”
Rick shrugged. “I imagine he’l be brought up on federal
charges and do time.”
“And you aren’t concerned for him.”
“No. He has to face the consequences of his actions.”
“Like you did when you went to prison.”
“Uh, yeah.”
“I feel bad for Lacey, though.”
“Lacey has to grow up, too, and face the consequences of
her actions.”
Harsh words. But Rick was right. Lacey had made the
choice to be with Bo, to do drugs, to let that lifestyle overtake
her. Lacey had been blind to who he real y was. Surely there
had been signs . . .
“Do you think she knew?”
Rick shifted, put his arm over the top of the sofa. “About
what?”
“About Bo using her to run drugs.”
“I doubt it. Or maybe she suspected something and was too
blinded by love to face the truth about him. Or too afraid. I
don’t know. I don’t know much about love and how people
behave when they love someone.”
“You’ve never been in love?”
He smiled. “No. Have you?”
“No. Wel . . .”
“What?”
It occurred to her as soon as he asked her that she wanted
to tel him how she felt. But the thought of putting herself out
there, making herself vulnerable like that, made her stomach
twinge. Should she tel him about these feelings? They were
so new, even to her, she hadn’t wrapped her head around
them yet.
She had to. Because otherwise he was going to walk out of
her life without ever knowing how she felt. That might be how
she was raised—to keep her emotions to herself—but she
wasn’t going to continue to live that way. Besides, he’d come
al the way to Mexico to see her. Surely there was something
between them.
She took a long drink of water and set it down on the table
—without grabbing for a coaster. A monumental start. She
took a deep breath, and let it out.
“I’m in love with you, Rick.”
His eyes widened. “What?”
“I’m in love with you. I want to be with you, to continue this
—whatever it is that we have together—after today. I want to
ride with you for a while and see where it goes. I don’t want to
lose you.”
Oh, shit. Rick was simultaneously fil ed with a stab of
incredible joy and utter panic.
No woman had ever told him that she loved him. Hel , he
couldn’t even remember his parents tel ing him they loved him,
or if they did he’d never believed it. Love had to be expressed
in action, otherwise it was just empty words.
That Ava did was something he hadn’t expected. He had no
idea what she saw in him, but he was damn glad she did. She
was beautiful, smart, and adventurous. The thought of having a
woman like her by his side fil ed him with a warmth he’d never
felt before.
Was that love? Maybe it was. But he had no room for love in
his life. And he sure as hel couldn’t be in love with Ava
Vargas. She was his assignment, not his girlfriend. And he
couldn’t even tel her who he real y was or what he did for a
living.
Fuck. This was bad. Real y bad.
And maybe she real y didn’t love him. She was just leaning
on him because of everything that had gone down with Lacey.
Her best friend had just been shit on by the man she loved.
Wouldn’t it be natural for Ava to see—to want—a different
outcome for herself?
That was probably it. She didn’t want to be screwed over by
a guy like Lacey had. She wasn’t real y in love with him. She
just didn’t want to get dumped.
Ava laughed and grabbed his hand. “Say something, Rick. I
just put my heart in your hands.”
Son of a bitch. His gut twisted because he knew exactly
what he had to do.
He pul ed his hand away and stood, dragging his fingers
through his hair. His heart pounded and his palms began to
sweat. Hel , he’d walked away from plenty of women in his
lifetime. It had always been easy. Why wasn’t this easy?
“Ava, we had a great time together, no doubt about it. But
my life is solitary and I like it that way. I don’t do relationships.”
Her smile died instantly. And a part of him died with it. The
hurt in her eyes was palpable. He felt like someone had just
stabbed him in the heart with a knife.
“Oh.”
“Look, darlin’. I think you’re beautiful, intel igent, sexy, and I
had a great time with you. Let’s just leave it at that.”
She nodded and stood. “Sure. You’re right.” She grabbed
his coat from the other sofa and handed it to him, refusing to
meet his gaze. “You should probably go. It’s getting late and I
have a lot to do tomorrow.”
He felt like an asshole. He
was
an asshole. But if he
lingered any longer, he’d pul her into his arms and kiss those
tears away that trickled down her cheek. He’d tel her that he
was in love with her. He’d tel her who he was. He’d fuck
everything up.
He needed to get out of there and fast.
She opened the door and he stepped outside, turned to
look at her. “I’l see you later.”
She raised her gaze to his, her eyes glittering with tears
and her lips lifting in a tortured smile that wrecked him. “No,
you won’t. Good-bye, Rick.”
I
t took Ava two days before she could leave the house. Two
days of crying, of feeling empty inside. Two days of feeling
stupid, of feeling just like Lacey must have felt.
She’d fal en in love with Rick, and had been blinded to the
reality that he’d felt nothing for her. She’d been fun for sex, and
that was al . And when it was time for him to walk away, he’d
done it so easily.
Oh sure, he’d appeared to be having a difficult time, his
expression pained, his tone one of regret. But he’d stil walked
and done so without thought of hurting her. And right after
she’d declared that she loved him.
How naïve could she be?
Obviously she and her best friend stil had more in common
than she thought.
She’d cal ed Lacey, who’d gone home to her parents. She
said she was resting and trying to get over what Bo had done
to her. She was already involved in a drug and alcohol
rehabilitation program. Other than that, she had no plans
beyond avoiding drugs and alcohol and clearing her head.
Ava promised to go see her as soon as Lacey was up to
visitors.
And as soon as Ava was up to it, too.
Right now her only intent was to head to campus and start
redirecting her focus back on school. It was time to get back
to work. Burying herself in her search for a school for her
Ph.D. would take her mind off Rick, off ridiculous notions of
love and bike riders and living the wild life, which wasn’t her at
al .
Her life was clean tabletops, bare wal s, and buried
emotions. She should have known better.
After showering and packing her laptop, she straightened
up her apartment and was just about to grab her purse and
head out the door when the doorbel rang. She opened it,
shocked to her toes to see her father standing there.
“Dad?”
Her father was stil as imposing as ever, fil ing her doorway
with his frowning persona. Even at sixty, with his ful , thick
head of salt-and-pepper hair, he was stil robust as ever. And
stil as intimidating as he’d always been.
“Ava. May I come in?”
“Of course.” She stepped aside and he moved in, scanning
her apartment as if he were looking for something. Or
someone.
“Would you like some coffee? I don’t have any made, but it
would only take—”
He waved his hand. “No. Not necessary. I just wanted to
check on you, to see if you were al right.”
She cocked a brow. “Of course I’m al right. Why?”
“I got the report about your activities with the Hel raisers.
Have you finished cavorting with this biker gang now?”
Ava inhaled and sighed, then moved away to sit on the
sofa. Her father had always known every move she made,
especially since he took public office. It irritated her, but she
tried to remain oblivious to his interference. He mostly just
kept tabs on her without getting involved. Then again, she
usual y never did anything for him to get involved with. “And
how did you know about that?”
“I’ve known about it for some time now, ever since you
started hanging out with Lacey and that undesirable boyfriend
of hers. Do you have any idea how that would look for me if
you were involved in il egal activities with the Hel raisers?”
How nice of him to look after her welfare. Then again, he
was more on the mark than Ava cared to admit. “Wel , I’m fine.
And I won’t be hanging out with them again.”
“I’m glad to hear that, especial y since you barely escaped
federal drug charges at the Mexican border. Good God, Ava,
what were you thinking?”
The blood in her face drained, leaving her cold. “What did
you say?”
“You heard me.”
“How did you know about that? Did Lacey tel you?”
“I don’t speak to Lacey and you know that. I’ve never thought