It's Now or Never (12 page)

I laughed. Alex had been incredibly persistent. Charming, flattering and attentive too. It made my head spin and my body capitulate, and yet there was still something about Alex that unsettled me. However hard I tried I couldn't rid myself of Angie's words of warning. Could I trust Alex not to break my heart? The way he was looking at me now, intently, peeling away the layers to my innermost desires and feelings, I suspected not.

Why was I allowing my emotions to get so muddied in what should be just a carefree, enjoyable fling with a drop-dead gorgeous man? The night I'd spent with Alex had been memorable and magical. An experience definitely worth repeating.

After dinner we'd walked the short distance along the path that ran alongside the river, hand in hand, our fingers entwined before we'd jumped into a taxi, Alex giving my address to the driver. When the car pulled up outside my flat, Alex got out and held the door open for me.

‘Would you like to come up for a coffee?'

‘I can't think of anything I'd like more,' said Alex, stroking my cheek with his thumb. ‘But not tonight. I've got an early start in the morning. And you,' he said smiling, ‘look absolutely whacked.' He leant down to kiss me, depositing the lingering taste of red wine into my mouth. He pulled away, tracing a finger over my lips where his mouth had just been. ‘Beautiful, but whacked. You definitely need your bed.'

‘Oh…' my disappointment escaped my lips. I needed my bed, it was true, but I needed Alex beside me in my bed, to feel the strength of his firm hard body against mine, to feel the exquisiteness of his kisses on my skin. I'd been reconciling myself to the idea all night long. In truth, it hadn't been a difficult decision, but now it looked as though Alex had other ideas. ‘Are you absolutely certain?' I said, trying to keep the note of desperation from my voice.

He nodded resignedly.

What was going on? Could I have misread the signs? Did he have the owner of the earrings waiting for him at home?

‘Okay,' I said, gathering my pride. ‘Thanks for a lovely evening, Alex.'

‘The pleasure has been all mine.' He kissed me again, this time gently, fleetingly on my lips and my mouth chased his kiss as he pulled away, extracting himself from our embrace. ‘I'll give you a call in the week.'

‘Great. I'll look forward to it.'

Would he, wouldn't he? Should I, shouldn't I? My poor little heart; taunted, teased and tempted by its flirtation with Alex Fellows. Really, I wasn't sure how much more of this my heart or I could take.

Chapter Thirteen

The next morning I woke late and stretched out in my bed, savouring the sensation of not having to rush out of bed for anybody or anything. My mind played over the events of the last twenty-four hours and I felt a warm swell of gratitude for the love and affection shown to me from the friends and colleagues who had played such an important part in my life for so long. Spending the evening with Alex had been the perfect way to end the day, but it had only fed my desire for more of him; to discover more about the man who was becoming more interesting, enticing and equally unfathomable with every moment that I spent in his company.

Was I sweating the small stuff, as my mum would have said? Over-thinking things. Why couldn't I just go with the flow and see what happened. I'd already convinced myself there could be no long term future with a man like Alex, so why was I playing over every conversation in my head, reliving every shared look and touch, analysing every nuance between us as though there might.

‘Stop it!' I chastised my reflection in the mirror. If I was going to be moving forward with my life, I needed to put Alex very firmly out of my head.

I ran the bath, pouring mango and passion fruit bubbles into the running water. I made myself a milky coffee and warmed up a
pain au chocolat
in the oven before retreating to the heavenly depths of the hot water, putting all thoughts of gorgeous distracting men out of my mind and instead concentrating on shaving my legs, which after weeks of neglect needed all the help I could give them. There were plenty of other things that needed my full-on attention too and on Monday I would start with a vengeance on my new life.

After climbing out of the bath I changed into some tracksuit bottoms and a sweatshirt as I was going to spend the day taking photos of the craft projects I'd recently completed. Rummaging through the drawer for my camera I gave a cursory glance to my mobile sitting on the side. Four missed calls from an unknown number.

I wandered out to the hallway and noticed the insistent flashing of the answer machine, demanding my attention. Panic fluttering in my chest, I pushed the button to hear the messages.

‘Hello Jennifer, it's Marcia here. I wonder if you could give me a ring… my number is, now let me see, it's here somewhere, right… 03797 214 024.'

‘
Hello Jennifer, it's Marcia. I left a message, but I'm wondering if you received it. Do you think you could call me? The number is… hang on…037…'

‘
Hello again, Jennifer. I've tried you on this phone and on your mobile one, but I can't seem to get hold of you. It's your granddad. I don't want you to worry, but he's had a funny turn. We're at the hospital now. They're just running a few tests. Could you phone me, love, when you get this message. The number's 037…'

‘No!' I stared at the answer machine accusingly. I'd only spoken to Gramps yesterday and he'd sounded absolutely fine. I made a point of ringing him every day. Surely I would have known if there'd been something wrong.

I quickly put my trainers on, grabbed my coat and keys and raced out to the car.

It took me under fifteen minutes to get to the hospital, my mind entertaining all sorts of terrifying possibilities on the way. I was just coming out of the lift on the fourth floor when I ran into Marcia. My heart was racing in my chest, my hands were clammy at my sides, but I'd never been so glad to see anyone in my life.

‘Marcia, how is he?'

‘Oh, Jennifer love. You got my messages.' She enveloped me in a hug. I wasn't sure if it was the potency of her floral, sweet perfume or the gusto of her embrace, but I felt my eyes water. ‘I thought you were cross with me and ignoring my messages.' I heard the wobble in her voice.

‘No, not at all. I've only just picked them up, Marcia. I'm so sorry' I took a step backwards, holding onto her arms, seeing the concern in her eyes. ‘What happened? How is he?'

‘He's okay, I think. He got up in the night to go to the loo and had a fall. He's got a nasty cut on the side of his head which they've stitched up. They think he's probably had a mini-stroke.'

‘Oh god! Can I see him? Where is he?'

‘Just in that ward through there, love,' she said, pointing to the corridor on the left. ‘I was just on my way to get a coffee. I'll fetch you one too.'

I wandered into the ward, fear in the pit of my stomach not knowing what might be awaiting me, and saw Gramps lying in the first cubicle by the nurses' station looking every one of his seventy-eight years. I rushed to his side.

‘Gramps, what have you done? I leave you alone for a day and look what happens to you.'

He stirred in his bed, his eyes fluttering open to greet me and when he smiled, tentatively, I felt a huge surge of relief. In his hospital gown he looked fragile and vulnerable, but I was simply overjoyed he was still here looking at me with love in his eyes.

‘I'm fine, sweetheart. I don't want you worrying.' He patted me on the hand. ‘I'll be out of here before you know it, just you wait and see.'

‘I do worry. You know that. And you're not going anywhere, not for a little while at least. How did it happen, Gramps?'

‘I got up in the night to go for a pee and I must have taken a tumble on the way back. Don't really remember much about it. Only that I couldn't get back up again. It was Marcia who found me in the morning.'

‘Oh no, you didn't spend all night on the floor, did you?'

‘It's all right, love. I'm okay now.'

‘Yes.' I took hold of his hand and interlocked my fingers with his, squeezing them tight. Thank goodness for Marcia. If it hadn't been for her, coming round and finding him when she did, then who knew how long he might have been stuck there. ‘What have the doctors said?'

‘They've done some scans. They think I've had a little stroke, that's all. They'll be doing some more tests and I'll be sent to the stroke clinic to get my medication sorted, but I'll be all right. They'll keep me in for a couple of days, I should imagine. But don't you look so worried,' he smiled. ‘It could have been a lot worse.'

At the moment it hardly seemed possible. I felt dreadful that I hadn't been there for Gramps when he'd needed me and that Marcia had been trying all that time to contact me without any luck. What if it had been worse? If it had been a major stroke instead of a mini one? If Gramps' last memory of me was me storming out of his house after being rude to his friend…

‘Here you are, Jen.' Marcia was back, looking the epitome of calm and level-headedness. I felt a huge wave of gratitude for her, for being there when I wasn't and for bringing an air of cheerfulness and normality to Gramps' bedside. On my own, I'd have been a quivering emotional wreck.

‘Thanks, Marcia,' I said, taking the paper cup thankfully, my hands shaking. She sat down beside me and patted her hand fondly on Gramps' leg beneath the sheet.

‘How are you feeling now, love?'

‘Oh, you know, all right. My head's a bit sore,' he said, putting a hand up to his temple and wincing as he did so. ‘I'll feel a whole lot better when I get out of this place.'

‘There's no hurry, Gramps. You want to make sure they get you properly fixed up before you get home again.'

‘What about Harvey? He'll be getting anxious at home without me.'

‘Don't worry about Harvey. He can come and stay with me for a couple of days. He's used to my place and I'll be working from home now anyway so he'll be welcome company for me.'

Gramps was the only family I had left now. After losing Mum and Nan in such quick succession, I certainly wasn't ready to lose Gramps too. Who knew how long we would still have together. I didn't want to spend that time squabbling over things that really didn't matter.

‘You're not to worry about anything, Harry,' said Marcia. ‘We'll take care of things at home, won't we, Jen? All you need to concentrate on is getting better.'

Marcia wasn't kidding when she said she'd take care of things at home. In the days following Gramps' stroke, she stripped all the beds, washed every bit of linen in the house, dusted and vacuumed from top to bottom and blitzed the bathrooms and kitchen with a vigour that put my lacklustre domestic skills to shame. I could have sworn she had twice as much energy and stamina as me despite being forty years older.

I worked outside in the garden, mowing the lawn and strimming the edges with Harvey mooching around behind me. All my plans were put on hold until I knew Gramps would be ready to come home from hospital. I spent one morning working out in the sunshine weeding his flowerbeds. When I was finished I went indoors and found Marcia cleaning out the oven. I flicked the switch on the kettle and pulled out two mugs from the cupboard.

‘Gramps won't recognise this place when he gets home. I don't think I've ever seen the place looking so clean. Thanks for everything you've done, Marcia.'

‘Well, it doesn't take long once you get started, does it?'

‘Look,' I said handing her a mug of tea. ‘I just wanted to apologise.'

‘What for?'

‘You know, the other night when I came round. Talking to you like that, it was very rude of me.'

She smiled, and shook her head.

‘It really doesn't matter. I've forgotten all about it. We've got more important things to worry about now, haven't we?'

‘I know.' I sighed, feeling an unexpected surge of affection for Marcia. I'm not sure how I would have coped without her these last few days.

‘Gramps' illness has made me realise just how selfish I've been. All I want is for him to be happy and healthy again.'

‘Isn't that what we both want, Jen.'

‘It wasn't anything against you personally, I suppose it just felt odd to have to share Gramps with someone else. It's always just been the two of us. It felt strange to see him moving on with his life; going on holiday and enjoying life again. Without me. Does that sound really bad?'

‘No, not at all. I understand and I would never want to come between you and your granddad. I know what a special bond you have and how much he loves you. It was one of the things I liked about him when I met him. The way he spoke about you with such obvious pride and affection. You do know you'll always come first as far as he's concerned.'

‘Oh, Marcia, I'm so pleased he's got you as a friend,' I said, wondering why I'd ever felt threatened by her presence. ‘Can I gave you a hug?' I asked.

She nodded, a big warm smile lighting up her face.

‘It would be nice if we could be friends too.'

‘Yes, I'd like that Marcia. I'd like that very much indeed.'

Chapter Fourteen

‘Could I speak to Jennifer Faraday please?'

‘Yes, that's me. Here,' I said, trying to juggle six jars of chilli jam onto my dressing table, with the phone wedged into the crook of my neck. After six false starts, involving a lorry load of chillies, a ton of sugar and one not-to-be-salvaged saucepan, I'd finally managed to produce the perfect batch of chilli jam. In jars with pretty pink gingham lids, chequered labels and ribbons around the rim, I had to admit I felt pretty proud of my handiwork.

‘Jennifer, it's Polly Powers from AS Recruitment. I just wondered if you were available for work at the moment?'