It's a Guy Thing (25 page)

What’s the Fastest Way to Cultivate My Feminine Energy?

Relax and breathe. Feel the pleasure of being alive. Learn to give and receive bodily love with your partner, touching each other, gazing into each other’s eyes, every day. Make time in your life to participate in raw nature, walking, swimming, roaming the woods or the beach. Listen to music and dance often; spend frequent time in the company of your close women friends; practice giving and receiving love, regardless of your mood, with your intimate friends. Play with children and abandon yourself sexually with your lover, so that your heart expands beyond all limits.

How Do I Develop the Masculine Part of Myself?

The masculine part of your self has the ability to stand outside of your present situation, discriminate which direction is best, and guide the situation in that direction.

To develop your masculine, create a daily schedule and stick to it. Guide your life from your sense of highest good, and discipline your activities, hour after hour, in your chosen direction. Account for every hour of the day. Whatever your mood, stick to your daily disciplines of diet, exercise and
work. Cut through all obstructions that arise both internally and in the world around you. Set daily, monthly, yearly and five-year goals. Decide what you have to do today in order to meet your goal. Continually realign your goal with your heart, so that your love is being expressed through your daily activity and so your feminine essence is not lost in this masculine activity.

Shouldn’t I Try to Balance My Internal Masculine and Feminine?

In daily life, it is useful to balance your internal masculine and feminine energies. That way you can both direct and nurture yourself. But if you hold on to this internal “equality” between your masculine and feminine energies even within the play of your intimate relationship, then you prevent ecstatic reunion from occurring in its full, sexually polarized form.

If a couple desires to experience spiritual ecstasy, then they should allow their reciprocal sexual characters to freely manifest in their partners. As a woman, allow your man to carry the masculine energy during moments of polarized sexual intimacy. Then, you can experience the blissful reunion of your feminine with his masculine. Learn to trust him as well as your own feminine energy.

Deep trust of your feminine means resting in pure radiance: mindless, edgeless, heart-energy, shining beyond words with no limited direction. Allow yourself to surrender into this love-energy. A woman who surrenders into this energy is ecstatic. Your radiant love is obvious—and that’s what the masculine is moved to embrace.

Be careful what kind of practices you do. If you practice equalizing your internal masculine and feminine energy so that you are no longer clearly defined as a feminine sexual character, then you won’t attract a polarized masculine partner. If the energy you put out is equally masculine and feminine, a man will not feel you as a
woman
. He might feel your balance as a person, but he won’t be moved to embrace you as his chosen source of feminine love.

Since Men Don’t Seem to Have Much Integrity, Why Should I Trust Them?

If you mistrust men you will animate your own masculine energy instead of trusting that a man will be there for you. And if you animate your own masculine energy, then your potential partner will feel you more as a friend than as a polarized lover. Therefore, one of the first steps in attracting or cultivating a man’s true masculine energy of integrity is to trust it.

You may have been hurt by someone’s masculine energy in the past, but you must still learn to trust. There are good men and less good men, but masculine energy, in itself, is one form of divine or universal energy. As a woman, you will attract a man who freely gifts you with his masculine energy—with his passion, his success, his discrimination and his love—when you learn to trust masculine energy. By simply trusting the masculine force you will either attract an appropriate man or evoke authentic masculine energy in your present partner.

Trusting that the universe will deliver authentic masculine
energy to you means relaxing in your feminine. If you doubt that a man exists whom you could totally trust, it will prevent you from relaxing fully in your feminine. The men you attract will not be fully relaxed in their masculine. They will be divided inside, as you are. Your mistrust will actually prevent a trustable man, full of integrity, from appearing in your life.

If you don’t trust men, then you won’t fully let go in intimacy. If you won’t fully let go, you will experience pain. The clench around your heart hurts. Being afraid to let go is painful.

Anytime you notice yourself talking negatively about men, or doubting that a good man exists, be aware of your feeling of doubt. This feeling will keep you holding on to your own masculine energy. Because you doubt that the universe will provide you with a good man, you may not quite allow yourself to free-fall into your native feminine energy.

Trust letting go more and more. Find out what happens when you let go into your feminine energy of radiant and doubt-free love. You may find that as you let go of your doubt and fall into your native feminine energy, a man will appear who reciprocates you or your present partner will suddenly begin to gift you with his native masculine energy. His gift of integrity and your relaxation into your own feminine force go hand in hand.

14
Deciding If He Is the Right Man

Is It Possible for Partners to Grow in Different Directions?

The one masculine trait that transcends a man’s purpose is his connection to truth. If your man’s connection to truth remains strong, his purpose might change as he aligns himself more and more with truth. For instance, for five years he may be totally dedicated to a business, then give it up and move into a monastery. Although this might look like a completely different purpose, this may be the closest way—for the present time—for him to live his truth.

If you ever wonder about your man’s new direction in life, ask yourself: Do you feel in your heart that his new direction is more aligned with truth or farther from truth?

Even if his new direction is aligned with
his
truth, is it aligned with
your
truth? You might not want to change in the same way that he is changing. How do you bridge that gap? Honestly, come into touch with what your truth is, what your heart truly wants.

Temporarily separate yourself from him to discover your own desire. Naturally, as a woman who loves her man, you will be moved to embrace him. However, you may have a conflict between where he is going and where you want to go.

While you are apart from him, feel in your heart in whatever way works for you. It may be through talking with other women, through ritual, silence or spending time in nature. Discover what is the fullest expression of your heart. What would satisfy your heart the most?

If his truth has carried him in a direction compatible with what would satisfy and fulfill your heart, then your relationship remains viable.

It sometimes happens that two people continue growing
and their relationship changes. This is not necessarily negative. In their growth, one person’s truth may lead their daily life in one direction and another person’s in another direction. Sometimes these different directions are temporary and sometimes they last a lifetime.

How Can I Leave Him When I Still Love Him?

What you feel and what you should do aren’t necessarily the same; it is possible to love a man totally yet walk away from him. If the relationship is not appropriate, you can remain in love and still bring a relationship to an end. Your love, your heart and your connection to God can be full and true, even while you are acting in this difficult circumstance.

Your head is your center of thinking; your heart is your center of emotional feeling; and your belly is your center of action. Your belly, just below your navel, is the place from which your action springs, your center of gravity. In Japanese culture it is called the
Hara
and in Chinese the
T’an-Tien
. By relaxing into your navel area you learn to center yourself in dance and martial arts. This navel area is your center of power—the power to do.

Your heart may be flowing with feeling for a man, but your navel doesn’t have to follow that flow. You are free to act decisively and choose to leave a man even though you have strong feelings for him. You don’t have to shut down your feelings in order to turn your navel and move in another direction. It’s okay to love a man yet decide not to be in intimate relationship with him. It’s okay to turn from a man that you love and open yourself in love with someone else who will be a better partner for you.

Women are usually more moved by their feeling center than their action center, so it is difficult for them to walk away from a man they love. Most men are the opposite. They listen to their feelings very little. They are usually more involved with doing and thinking than with emotion. It is usually easier for men to walk away from a relationship.