It Had to Be You (32 page)

What does she mean William is marrying Andrea today, he can’t be. He would have told me, surely. Oh God no, he can’t be?

‘
He can’t be?’ I whisper.

‘
It’s all over her Twitter page,’ she says softly, taking the phone off me and scrolling into it.

‘
This morning, first thing:
so excited, can’t believe the big day is here. See you all later.’

‘
That doesn’t mean she’s getting married,’ I say, feeling a small sense of relief.

‘
A bit later:
can’t wait to see William in his top and tails, so sexy.’

‘
Still doesn’t …’ I begin.

‘
Ten minutes ago:
Car arriving soon & we’ll be on our way to the church. Love my dress so much, thank u Carla #wedding’

‘
That clinches it,’ says Max.

‘
Shut up Max,’ I snap.

‘
He’s marrying Andrea, and that’s it Binki, and you should marry Oliver,’ says Muffy, putting her hand on mine.

‘
Good advice,’ says Max.

I glare at him through the mirror.

‘Sorry,’ he mumbles.

I close my eyes
and remember the last time I had seen William, and our kiss in the taxi and his words,

‘
C’est la vie, I always leave things too late.’

I must not do the same
thing. I can’t leave things too late. It’s the first day of the rest of his life, what if it is a mistake? He loves me too, I feel sure he does.

‘
I still have to tell him. I’m sorry Muffy. If you don’t want to come with me I understand but I have to do this.’

I hold my breath.
She pulls off the headdress and says,

‘
Phone William.’

I frown.

‘I don’t know his number. It’s in my phone.’

She sighs.

‘Okay, let’s try to find out where the church is. Maybe she has updated. Hang on.’

I wait patiently.

‘Okay, latest update:
On our way to St Andrews Church. Feel like a princess #wedding

‘
Where is St Andrew’s church?’ I lean forward to ask Max.

‘
There are loads,’ he stammers.

‘
In Hampstead Heath?’ asks Muffy.

‘
I don’t know, about six I think. Is it Catholic? If you knew that we could eliminate a few, but you can’t be sure it is in Hampstead Heath. It could be anywhere,’ says Max.

‘
Oh God,’ I groan.

Muffy sighs and scrolls through the stream again

‘Do you think William would marry in a Catholic church?’ she asks.

I shake my head.

‘I don’t think so, but maybe he would for Andrea.’

Her phone rings
making us jump.

‘
Fuck, it’s Oliver,’ Muffy shrieks, throwing it into my lap. I click the off button quickly.

‘
This is terrible,’ Muffy groans.

I scroll through the stream again and see a new update.

‘
One of the oldest churches in England,
how cool is that? Pics to follow. #thebigday’

Max bangs the steering wheel.

‘It could be the one in Launcester Street,’ he says, ‘that’s old.’

Please God, please let it be the one.

‘Let’s go,’ says Muffy.

Meanwhile at the church

Bernard stands stunned and watches the Rolls-Royce disappear around the corner. He would still have been standing there if Bella hadn’t come out of the church to see what was going on. Douglas, seeing her leave taps Oliver on the shoulder.

‘
All systems go me matey. I’m just checking everything is shipshape before ye walk the plank.’

Oliver doesn
’t reply and Douglas grimaces. His friend had barely spoken since leaving the flat. Mind you, he can imagine the poor bugger is feeling pretty rough. Let’s face it getting married is the same as castration in his opinion. If you can only give it to one woman what’s the bloody point of having it? A woman in every port was Douglas’s motto. If you can make a hundred women happy then that’s your duty, surely.

‘
Just be a sec,’ he whispers to Oliver.

Oliver nods and then sighs. He feels sick and can
’t stop thinking about the texts Amanda had sent him. He ought to phone her but his brain is in such a whirl. Christ, of all the bloody days.

Douglas follows Bella outside to see Bernard and the photographer standing on the kerb. He looks around for Binki and Muffy. Maybe the car has broken down, that can happen but what the hell has happened to Muffy? She was here five minutes ago. Bella shrieks and buries her head in her hands. Oh God, this isn’t bloody good, then again if this means old matey getting off the hook that’s not such a bad thing.

‘
Everything okay?’ he asks, knowing full well if there is no bloody bride then everything is far from okay.

‘
My daughter must be having a breakdown,’ sobs Bella. ‘I can’t think of any other reason for her behaving in this fashion.’

‘
What fashion would that be?’ asks Douglas.

‘
She threw me out of the car and asked me to tell Oliver she’s really sorry but she can’t go through with it.’

‘
Is there a problem?’ whispers the vicar as he approaches Douglas.

‘
She’s not turning up mate,’ Douglas replies.

‘
Who is going to tell Oliver,’ sobs Bella.

‘
Tell me what?’

At the sight of Oliver, Bella throws herself into his arms.

‘For goodness’ sake Bella, pull yourself together, it’s a wedding not a funeral,’ says Bernard.

‘
It may as well be,’ cries Bella. ‘She’s thrown her whole life away.’

‘
She’s not coming, me old matey,’ says Douglas to Oliver, before whispering, ‘A lucky escape if you ask me you jammy bastard.’

‘
Where is she?’ Oliver asks Bernard.

‘
No idea son, she pulled Muffy into the roller and they shot off. They’ve probably gone back to our house,’ says Bernard.

‘
Oh God,’ sobs Bella. ‘The neighbours will think she’s been jilted and not the other way around.’

‘
Perhaps best not to rub it in,’ whispers Douglas, looking at Oliver’s ashen face.

‘
Give her a bit of time, you never know …’ begins Bernard.

‘
I’ve another wedding in an hour,’ butts in the vicar.

‘
Oh, yes of course, stupid, I just thought …’

‘
Bernard do shut up,’ snaps Bella.

‘
Do you want me to give her a bell?’ asks Douglas. ‘You know, just to make sure she isn’t coming back?’

‘
She doesn’t have her phone,’ says Bernard.

‘
I’ll call Muffy,’ says Oliver calmly.

They all look hopefully on as Oliver taps in Muffy
’s number. A few seconds pass before Oliver says,

‘
She’s not answering.’

‘
Douglas, can you phone the Dorchester and tell them the reception is cancelled. Bernard, do you mind telling the congregation. I can’t face going back inside.’

‘
Of course not,’ says Bella putting a comforting arm around him.

He nods at her and gently releases himself.

‘I need a walk,’ he says.

‘
I’ll kill her Bernard, I swear I will. What can she be thinking of,’ Bella sighs.

‘
I imagine she has decided that she doesn’t want this to be the first day of the rest of her life,’ he says philosophically, walking towards the church.

Douglas and Bella watch Oliver stroll away from them with his head bowed.

‘Poor bugger,’ says Douglas searching on Google for The Dorchester’s phone number while thinking lucky old sod.

‘
I hope he doesn’t do anything silly,’ says Bella worriedly.

Fortunately he can
’t now, Douglas thinks with a grin.

Oliver turns the corner out of sight of the church and takes a long deep breath. Bloody hell, he can
’t believe it. She has bloody jilted him. God, he couldn’t have planned it better if he’d tried. Not only will everyone feel sorry for him but they’ll understand perfectly when he turns to Amanda for comfort. Christ, he can’t believe his luck. He really thought he was going to be the bad guy. He feels like sending Binki a bouquet of flowers. He only hopes she doesn’t go and change her mind. Christ, what a day. Jilted at the altar and discovering he is to become a father all on the same day calls for a large rum.

‘This is the oldest is it?’ asks Muffy with
a tremble in her voice. ‘It doesn’t look that old.’

‘
Well I’m not an expert on churches. I’ve just driven to a lot. This is the oldest St Andrew’s in this area that I know of,’ says Max. ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’

No I
’m not sure at all. In fact I’m starting to think it is the worst idea I’ve ever had. Guests are arriving and I feel my nerve go. Perhaps I should just go back and marry Oliver. I hope he’s okay. I did try and phone him but it just went into his voicemail. I’d apologised profusely, saying it was the best thing for both of us. Of course I don’t imagine he feels it is the best thing at the moment. I’m trying so hard not to think of all the presents and the food, not to mention the honeymoon which has been booked and paid for, and all the guests that have travelled to get there. I turn to Muffy.

‘
Update,’ I say.

‘
There isn’t one,’ she says, looking at her phone.

‘
Go in and check,’ I say, giving her a little shove.

She gapes at me.

‘What, are you serious? Have you looked at me lately? I’m dressed like a bridesmaid. It’s not like I’m incognito is it? And the last I recall, Andrea Garcia
didn’t ask me to be one at her wedding.’

What
’s she talking about? It’s the best incognito ever surely. No one will look twice at a bridesmaid will they?

‘
But they’ll be expecting bridesmaids won’t they?’ I say. ‘So no one will think it odd.’

She shakes her head.

‘Yes, but they’re not expecting other people’s bridesmaids. I rather think Andrea Garcia
will recognise her own bridesmaid, or are you hoping she may have forgotten who they are? Christ Binki, I can’t believe we are even seriously considering this.’

I suppose she has a point.

‘There’s no sign of the bridal car so you could quickly nip in, pretend to be a bridesmaid and check it’s the right wedding …’

‘
Check it’s the right wedding? What am I, the dumbest bridesmaid on earth? I’m not going in there on my own. What if William is there and …’

‘
Max? I ask.

‘
No,’ he says waving his hand. ‘Driving the getaway car is as far as I go.’

Shit. I
’ve got to do it haven’t I? Honestly if you want something done right do it yourself. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t tell William how I feel.

‘
Right,’ I say, opening the door determinedly.

‘
Bugger,’ says Muffy. ‘She’s only bloody going through with it.’

I clamber from the Rolls
with Muffy behind me. I realise I’m still clasping my bouquet and throw it back into the car. I grab Muffy’s hand for support and find it hot and sweaty.

‘
Hold the train,’ I say.

‘
What?’ says Muffy straightening her headdress.

‘
My wedding train, you’ll have to hold it.’

I walk as fast as I can towards the church with Muffy following behind. I reach the heavy oak doors
, take a deep breath and push them open. The coolness of the church makes me shiver. The congregation turn and there are a few hushed gasps. I look ahead to the vicar who is holding a baby over the font. Oh shit, it’s only a sodding christening. He looks at us and confusion creeps slowly across his face. I cringe as his hands shake and the baby’s head touches the water. Bloody hell, he’s going to drown the poor little thing.

‘
Hello,’ I say.

Well, what else am I supposed to say?

‘Did I muddle up? Oh no, I didn’t, surely,’ he says. ‘Not again.’

‘
Again?’ I whisper to Muffy.

‘
Christ,’ says Muffy
and quickly puts a hand to her mouth and mumbles, ‘shit.’

‘
Sorry,’ she continues, ‘I didn’t mean to say that. What I meant to say was …’

The baby
’s head seems to dip further into the font.

‘
Oh God,’ Muffy cries and bites her lip and then finishes with, ‘Oh Jesus … I’m so sorry.’

I roll my eyes.

‘What I mean is, wrong church, sorry for the Christ Jesus, stuff.’

‘
Muffy, you’re just making things worse,’ I whisper.

‘
I didn’t then?’ asks the vicar, sounding relieved.

‘
No, certainly not,’ smiles Muffy pulling me backwards by my train. ‘It isn’t you, absolutely our cock-up, totally.’

‘
Muffy,’ I say despairingly.

‘
Must dash,’ she says.

The church is silent and
all eyes on us, and all I can think is God, we’re too late. By the time we get to the right church it will all be over. I will never be able to tell him how I feel and will live my whole life carrying that burden.

‘
Come on, we don’t have much time.’

‘
Right,’ says Muffy. ‘Oh, and congratulations on the baby by the way.’

I pull her by the arm and we race as fast as anyone can race in a wedding dress
, back to the car.