Into the Light (The Admiral's Elite Book 2) (13 page)

He was quiet and she glanced up. He was shaking his head. “The chief has his people doing some sort of mandatory state required training this morning. He was thinking he’d like us there no earlier than one.”

It was barely nine.

“Okay. Do you mind if I go for a run then? I’m feeling stronger this morning and it’d be nice to stretch my legs.” She stressed how well she was feeling. Freeing him from his obligation to her for the time being.

“Mind if I go with you?”

“Sure. I mean, no. That’s fine. Let me get changed.” She took in his jeans and blue shirt under a darker blue hoodie. Not that he would sweat or anything, but he might want to change and look the part. “Are you going like that?”

Hands in his pockets, he shrugged. “Yeah, I’ll wait out here.”

They parted ways awkwardly and Becca ended up taking much longer than necessary to get into her running clothes. At least with running early mornings and evenings in the desert, she had the right gear. Thick black leggings, pink wicking shirt, fitted black zip up jacket and shoes and she was ready. The thin pair of gloves she’d tucked away evaded her, making her delay even longer.

He smiled when she emerged ten minutes later. “I thought I was going to have to send in a search party.”

Offering a quick, polite laugh, she made a few last adjustments to her wardrobe and thought about her iPod sitting on the bed. It would be rude to carry it but it would keep her from having to talk too. And she had the feeling that was exactly what Michael had in mind. They’d never had a “feelings talk” but it looked like she might have started something. She pondered the benefits of rolling an ankle and having to go to the hospital. She flashed him a tight smile resembling more of a grimace, and bolted.

Endurance and speed were more “enhancements” she’d gotten from him and she used both to their maximum. Not that she could have outrun Michael, but it let her get out of talking by keeping up a punishing pace any human would have had trouble holding for more than a sprint.

They’d started out on the main county road the motel fronted on and curved onto dirt the first chance they got. Becca, a California girl, thought it would be quieter without the traffic. She hadn’t realized the problem with running on a side road in the winter. Ice.

And so it was that after only four miles, nothing for a vampire and his “juiced” girlfriend, she had to pull up or risk breaking her neck. Hands on her hips, she walked in small circles and panted through her nose and out her mouth, making small clouds of smoke as she caught her breath. Michael had no such needs and merely came to a halt, hands in the pockets of his hoodie. Becca could feel the tension tying her shoulders to her neck and bringing them into a painfully tight triangle of angst.

Tilting her head back, she took in the pines towering over them on either side of the narrow path. This particular area had been planted in rows, extending outward in long, dizzying straight lines as far as she could see. The snow covering was thin there, she could tell the depth from a set of rabbit tracks crossing in front of her. A few more steps would take her inside the shadowy forest. Her feet carried her without a second thought.

What little road noise there had been died when she entered the woods. Fallen needles covered with puffy snow cushioned her steps and marked each footfall with a soft “hush.” Her memories went back to her cypress copse at Miramar. It was her favorite place on the base where she’d lived for several years. It was also the place where she first met Admiral Black and the wolves, changing her life’s course forever. The knot in her back began to let go and she rolled her neck, helping it along. Another deep breath brought in the crisp, pine scent with only a hint of the musty earth stirred by their passing.

The mature thing to do was to face Michael and talk through what he would have said last night if she hadn’t fainted at the crucial moment. Or hearing him tell her it hadn’t been that for him. That it had been fun at first and now was an obligation they would have to continue with if for no other reason than to prevent her from burning out.

Picking up speed, she took off through the narrow opening between the trunks. Ducking low boughs and hopping over small depressions where roots had shifted the ground soon took all of her focus and her problems became an afterthought. She failed to notice when Michael came abreast of her and caught her arm, slowing to bring them both to a walk.

Puffing, she gave up trying to avoid him and stood waiting, like a sullen teenager. She wasn’t going to talk first this time. In her head, she already had. And now, she was terrified at the power she’d given him over her.

Chapter 13

Ryan entered their room quietly, not exactly sneaking, but damn close. Gabrielle was in the shower. He could smell the wet, pungent tang of sweat and earth combined with a trace of blood emanating from the pile of clothes by the bed where she’d stripped. She’d been in human form again last night while he’d favored the wolf. Better to protect her if they ran into the windigo or whatever it was working for. She had only changed for a few moments to hunt. The blood wasn’t hers. He could smell the difference even dried.

Their continued silence pained him deeply. Becca was right, he did love her and he was too big a coward to admit it to her. He stood outside the bathroom, knuckles resting on the closed door while he listened to her in the shower. The flick of the shampoo bottle’s lid echoed off the white tile walls. Closing his eyes, he pictured her as she washed her hair. He could smell the familiar scents of the soaps and products she’d brought from home. His fingers rubbed together, feeling the phantoms of her honey blonde strands between them.

The water turned off and Ryan backed away. He didn’t know much about being in love, but it didn’t seem like a good idea to get caught stalking a girl. “Hey Gab,” he called out to let her know he was in there.

“Hey,” she called back after a long pause.

It was doubtful she would go to wolf form here in the tiny motel room. That would be more than ridiculous, it would be blatant. No, it was more likely she would try to seduce him or sleep to keep from talking.

Sure enough, when the door opened to reveal a towel wrapped Gabrielle, she yawned. “I need a few hours. You?” Her eyes barely skimmed over him, she wasn’t interested in his answer.

Ryan, however, was studying her features and frame closely. Dark, puffy circles beneath her amber eyes were easily visible from across the room as was the slump to her normally proud shoulders. Even the sway was gone from her shuffling walk. He clenched his hands into tight fists and crossed his arms to keep from going to her and folding her into his body, protecting her from whatever was haunting her. The voice inside his head told him this was really not the time, yet Becca’s words had goaded him into a now or never mentality. He took a deep breath and let part of it escape in a hiss. “Can you wait? I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Falling sideways onto the bed without pulling back the covers, Gabrielle eyed him warily and headed him off. “I know I’ve been distracted the past few days but I’m trying to work something out.” She managed a tired smile. “I promise we can talk about whatever you want, soon, if you could just give me a few more days to get some answers for myself.” She offered him a timid smile. “I’ll be in a better place to talk then, I promise.”

The edge of panic he saw behind her fatigue dissolved his nerve on sight. He couldn’t confess his love after her request, and she didn’t look like she was in any shape to handle an emotional outpouring anyway. Silently cursing his timing, he smiled and crossed the room.

She pushed up expectantly and he kissed her gently on the lips before reaching behind her to pull back the covers.

“Get some rest, we’ve got nothing going until tonight.”

All too willing, she laid down at his gentle guidance. “Are you sure? If you need to tell me something, you can.”

Leaning down to pull the blankets over her and kiss her again, Ryan gave her a small smile. “No, it can wait.”

“Thanks Ryan,” she mumbled, already heading off to sleep.

He sat on the edge of the bed once she was down and tortured himself by listening to the restless tossing and muttering that began shortly after her breathing regulated. There it was, the name she spoke only rarely at home. He’d heard it at least ten times yesterday after she’d gone to sleep. She’d cried out so loud the one time she’d actually roused him from a dead sleep in a panic, thinking someone was in the room.

“No Luc, please.” Her whimper tore out his heart, the tears he saw wetting her cheeks stomped on it until there was nothing left.

Chapter 14

Michael’s hand on her arm held her firmly in place while Becca stared at her feet. Her erratic behavior since breakfast was maddening. If she wasn’t going to talk to him soon he was going to have to get it out of Ryan. He had a slight speed advantage over the wolf, but that didn’t mean the fight wouldn’t hurt like hell.

“You can’t keep avoiding me,” he growled.

“What?” Large, tear filled eyes flew up to his face.

The distress so plainly written on her face tore at him and his vampire flared within him. “What did Ryan say to you? I’ll tear him apart.”

“You’re mad at
Ryan
?” She took a step back, jerking her arm loose. “Ryan has
nothing
to do with this.”

“Then what has you so upset?” He watched her features twist into a scowl. “Is it the vision you had yesterday? You can talk it through with me, we can try to understand it together.” They’d talked through a few confusing ones in the past. He was willing to help her again if she would let him. There was a slight hesitation before she answered and Michael knew there was something there, though that wasn’t what she wanted to fight about.

Becca ducked her head, hiding her eyes. “I said some things last night.” Her voice was choked. “I was upset and freaking out and then you called me a,
that
. And then I said some stuff I shouldn’t have. Stuff I didn’t mean.” She rushed through the words. “I wanted to tell you it’s okay if we need to…” Her voice broke before she could finish.

The metallic taste of blood littered his tongue and filled his nose as his fangs pierced his lower lip. “What did you say that you didn’t mean Becca?” Her acceptance of him, her knowledge of Black’s hold and her professed love regardless had liberated him from the prison that had held him hostage for decades. If not for the mission they were on he would have holed up in their room for days showing her how he felt in return. Was she saying that her declarations, any of them, had been untrue? His nature threatened to take him to a dark place. A place where he would lose all hints of his humanity, at least for a short while. The damage she would take would be much more than the occasional love nip she’d suffered.
Not her.
He warned the vampire.
Never her.

She heard the change in his tone and shrank back, her eyes beginning to dart. Her sight was warning her of danger; he recognized the signs. It sobered him at once and inwardly he roared in frustration.
He
was the danger and he knew it. Michael fought back his beast with a Herculean effort.

Reaching for her again, he hid his agony at her flinch. “Becca,” he let his hand fall and called softly to her.

Again she let her eyes seek his, studying them to gauge his beast. When she took a half step toward him, he knew that he had won for the present. The vampire would let the man rule this time. Tentatively, he reached out again. She allowed it and his hand slid under her arm to wrap around her waist. Fangs were willed back and a quick flick of the tongue sealed the holes in his lip.

“Becca, you’re special to me,” He watched her breath catch, preparing herself. “You affected me the first time I saw you.” Michael’s own chest hurt, phantom pains of what it would be like to feel his heart stop, he was sure. He started again. “What you said last night.” He paused when he saw her flush, fearful she would repeat those fateful words and he would lose all hope again. Girding himself to face a more frightening enemy than any he’d opposed in battle, her disapproval, Michael stepped closer and took strength in her nearness. “You can’t know what that meant to me.” Even saying the words took all of his will, to admit his weakness to this woman who meant more than she could comprehend. “I’ve feared the day you might see the admiral’s influence. Even more, I’ve feared that you wouldn’t. That you would think me a coward for not standing against him.” Blue eyes searched hers desperately. Any care he had for hiding his emotions was gone. Here he was, vulnerable at her feet, jugular exposed. From habit, he swallowed and licked his lips. “That you would love me, knowing that I’m his,” he shook his head still disbelieving, “you’ve given back my life. How could I not love you for that alone?”