Into the Flame (44 page)
‘‘Not any I can control.’’ Ann shook her head at Jasha.
Firebird rubbed the spot on her back that
had
burned, still burned, when she caught sight of
Douglas
. He watched with an intensity and an emotion that she couldn’t read. Hastily she took her hand away and stared at him, wanting to know what he thought, what he intended.
had
burned, still burned, when she caught sight of
Douglas
. He watched with an intensity and an emotion that she couldn’t read. Hastily she took her hand away and stared at him, wanting to know what he thought, what he intended.
‘‘I have to go lie down.’’
Douglas
stood and walked out of the kitchen.
Douglas
stood and walked out of the kitchen.
Firebird excused herself and followed.
Jackson
sighed mightily. ‘‘I hate to say it. I’ve had more fun in the last couple of weeks with you folks than in my whole life put together. But I got a business to run. After breakfast, I gotta go.’’
sighed mightily. ‘‘I hate to say it. I’ve had more fun in the last couple of weeks with you folks than in my whole life put together. But I got a business to run. After breakfast, I gotta go.’’
‘‘We hate to lose you.’’ Konstantine reached over and shook
Jackson
’s hand. ‘‘But we understand.’’
Jackson
’s hand. ‘‘But we understand.’’
‘‘You’ll come back and visit,’’ Zorana said. ‘‘Every year we celebrate the Fourth of July, and Firebird’s birthday, and now
Douglas
’s, with a picnic and many friends. You are always invited.’’
Douglas
’s, with a picnic and many friends. You are always invited.’’
‘‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world.’’
Jackson
smiled genially.
Jackson
smiled genially.
Jasha’s sigh matched
Jackson
’s. ‘‘Ann and I are like
Jackson
. Now that the crisis is over, Ann and I need to get back to the winery.’’
Jackson
’s. ‘‘Ann and I are like
Jackson
. Now that the crisis is over, Ann and I need to get back to the winery.’’
‘‘Tasya and I have got an archeological site that made us an offer.’’ Rurik rubbed his hands in delight. ‘‘They want us to make one of those docudramas about the dig, and now . . . well, we’re going to take it.’’
‘‘It’ll be good to get back to a dig,’’ Tasya said.
‘‘When you’re better,’’ Zorana said warningly.
‘‘I am better.’’ Tasya’s smile tilted a little off center. ‘‘I think we were given one gift for winning the battle. The Wilder blood still heals.’’
‘‘I thought that, too. I’ve been popping stitches all day!’’ Adrik turned to his parents. ‘‘I’ve got a video game to market, and I think Karen is itchy to get back to her spa and see how much damage the Varinskis did. So . . .’’
Konstantine turned to Zorana. ‘‘What do you think, my love? Will we be able to live alone?’’
‘‘Let me think.’’ She put a finger to her cheek and smiled. ‘‘Yes!’’
Jasha looked toward the bedrooms. ‘‘What do you suppose is happening with Doug and Firebird?’’
‘‘She followed him so they could communicate,’’ Ann answered.
‘‘That poor son of a bitch.’’ Aleksandr shook his head sadly.
Everyone stared at the little boy in the high chair.
‘‘That’s it.’’ Zorana glowered around the kitchen at her children, all hiding their faces and muffling their snorts. ‘‘There will be no more swearing in this house. And you!’’ She slapped her hand down on Konstantine’s shoulder. ‘‘You—you may not speak at all!’’
Chapter Forty-two
Firebird followed
Douglas
to his bedroom.
Douglas
to his bedroom.
He was straightening up, making the bed . . . getting ready to go.
She leaned against the door frame, hoping she looked casual rather than lost. ‘‘
Douglas
, what’s wrong?’’
Douglas
, what’s wrong?’’
‘‘I need to go back on duty. My boss doesn’t like people who fake sickness so they can take leave.’’ He went into the bathroom and got his toothbrush.
‘‘You got out of the hospital today. Not even your boss would say you’re faking it.’’
He opened the drawers and got the clothes she’d bought him and flung them into the duffel bag she’d also bought in the superstore in
Burlington
.
Burlington
.
‘‘You’re packing.’’ She took a breath and said what needed to be said. ‘‘So I guess this means you don’t really want to marry me.’’
‘‘I didn’t say that.’’
‘‘No, you didn’t. In fact, you never said you
did
want to marry me. My father said it. You simply stood there, and I assumed Papa was speaking for you, and I agreed.’’ She was so hurt her lip was quivering, so embarrassed she wanted to run away. But this had to be finished now. ‘‘By the way you’re behaving, I would guess I was wrong.’’
did
want to marry me. My father said it. You simply stood there, and I assumed Papa was speaking for you, and I agreed.’’ She was so hurt her lip was quivering, so embarrassed she wanted to run away. But this had to be finished now. ‘‘By the way you’re behaving, I would guess I was wrong.’’
‘‘I do want to marry you.’’
Douglas
stood looking down at his duffel bag as if it held the map for pirate’s treasure. ‘‘But not for . . . not because you want to make your father happy.’’
Douglas
stood looking down at his duffel bag as if it held the map for pirate’s treasure. ‘‘But not for . . . not because you want to make your father happy.’’
‘‘Make my father happy?’’ Embarrassment turned to outrage, and she straightened up off the door frame. ‘‘What the hell do you mean, make my father happy? You think I’d get married because he wanted it?’’
‘‘And for Aleksandr’s sake.’’
‘‘Because I’m weak-minded? Is
that
what you think?’’ The flames were blazing again inside her, and this time, someone was going to get burned.
that
what you think?’’ The flames were blazing again inside her, and this time, someone was going to get burned.
‘‘I don’t think you’re weak-minded, but I don’t know why else you’d marry me.’’ He looked up at her, his gaze steady and unflinching. ‘‘I am the guy who sold your family to the Varinskis.’’
‘‘
Your
family. They’re
your
family, not—’’ She took a breath and tried not to shriek at him. Or rather, not to shriek at him more. ‘‘I swear, if you tell me that you think that’s one of the reasons I agreed to marry you—so I could stay in the family—I will make you wish the Varinskis had finished you off.’’
Your
family. They’re
your
family, not—’’ She took a breath and tried not to shriek at him. Or rather, not to shriek at him more. ‘‘I swear, if you tell me that you think that’s one of the reasons I agreed to marry you—so I could stay in the family—I will make you wish the Varinskis had finished you off.’’
He didn’t say anything. But he didn’t have to. He wore that expression, the look that said he did believe it, or at least he had thought it.
‘‘Do you really believe that I need
you
to be part of this family? They love me. They love me no matter what. And you know what?’’ She paced forward and got into his face. ‘‘They love Aleksandr. They’d love Aleksandr even if his father wrote diet books and hosted a talk radio show! So don’t think you’re doing me any favors by marrying me, because I don’t need your help. I mean, my family raised me from the day I was born. What kind of people do you think they are?’’
you
to be part of this family? They love me. They love me no matter what. And you know what?’’ She paced forward and got into his face. ‘‘They love Aleksandr. They’d love Aleksandr even if his father wrote diet books and hosted a talk radio show! So don’t think you’re doing me any favors by marrying me, because I don’t need your help. I mean, my family raised me from the day I was born. What kind of people do you think they are?’’
‘‘Actually, you seemed a little worried that they wouldn’t love you.’’
She took a breath to retort, and remembered—she
had
been worried. ‘‘I was wrong.’’ She rubbed her head. ‘‘Mama is right. Every one of you Wilder men is terminally stupid. I don’t know how you have functioned in life without me.’’
had
been worried. ‘‘I was wrong.’’ She rubbed her head. ‘‘Mama is right. Every one of you Wilder men is terminally stupid. I don’t know how you have functioned in life without me.’’
‘‘I haven’t. I’ve been miserable.’’ He sat on the edge of the bed. ‘‘When you disappeared from Brown and I couldn’t find you, do you know what I imagined? I thought you were a prisoner somewhere.’’
‘‘How dumb is that?’’
‘‘Did you see any of those Varinskis on the battlefield? They
are
my relatives.’’
are
my relatives.’’
‘‘Oh.’’ She subsided. ‘‘Them.’’
‘‘Once I figured out you were somewhere in Blythe, I watched for you.’’ Doug was sober, intense. ‘‘I’ll never forget the first time I caught a glimpse of you after so long. You were working at the Szarvas Art Studio. You were still blond, still smiling, as cheerful as you’d ever been, but you looked less like a girl and more like a woman. I saw you’d suffered grief and pain, and I knew you’d been alone, without me to care for you. That pissed me off big-time. I’d been so mad at you for leaving, but when I saw you, I became worried you’d been taken against your will.’’
‘‘By who— Wait. You thought my family had kidnapped me?’’
‘‘As far as I could see, you were healthy, but you had no life. You only went to work and then home, and when I tried to follow you, I couldn’t. Every time, I lost you on the road.’’
‘‘Lost me?’’
‘‘A fog would close in and I couldn’t follow your taillights.’’
‘‘Really.’’ She thought hard about that. ‘‘I always thought Mama had a way with the weather, fending off the storms. . . . I’ll bet she fixed it so no enemy could find us without an invitation.’’
‘‘You really have a spooky family.’’
‘‘No.
You
really have a spooky family. And I know that when I was in college, I told you I loved my family.’’
You
really have a spooky family. And I know that when I was in college, I told you I loved my family.’’
‘‘Yes. You did. But let’s face it—abused wives love their husbands. In college, I fell in love with you because you were the brightest, wittiest, most friendly, outgoing girl.’’
‘‘I thought you fell in love with me because you were horny.’’ She sat beside him on the bed.
‘‘It would have been easy to find other girls willing to take care of
that
.’’ He had a quirk in his cheek. ‘‘You weren’t easy, and you complicated my plans.’’
that
.’’ He had a quirk in his cheek. ‘‘You weren’t easy, and you complicated my plans.’’
Remembering how intensely he’d courted her, and how strongly she had resisted, she said, ‘‘Remember that when you want to take me for granted.’’
‘‘I could never do that.’’
They sat silent, two people uncomfortably perched on the edge of the mattress and at the brink of painful revelations.
Yet when she glanced sideways at him, he looked the same as he always had: stolid, steady, muscled, impassive . . . and alone. He was the loneliest man she’d ever seen.
He looked at his hands as if staring into a memory. ‘‘Right before you . . . broke into my house, I was called to the scene of a single-car rollover involving a mother and her two kids. She’d been escaping her abusive husband. Turned out she didn’t have a driver’s license. He wouldn’t let her have one. She missed the curve by
Shoalwater
State Park
and died in the crash.’’
Shoalwater
State Park
and died in the crash.’’
Firebird hurt for the family, but more than that, she hurt for
Douglas
. ‘‘The children? Are they okay?’’
Douglas
. ‘‘The children? Are they okay?’’
‘‘They were fine. A few cuts and bruises. The bad part was the scars their father had already put on them. Their mother’s aunt is taking them in, and I’m told she and her husband are good people.’’ He looked into her eyes. ‘‘I see shit like that all the time. I know what cruelty men are capable of, so I thought that you . . . I didn’t think you’d seen me change, and I couldn’t figure out why else you would leave me like that.’
Gently, she said, ‘‘I didn’t go out into the world because I was afraid that if I did, you’d discover the truth about Aleksandr and take him.’’
‘‘I know that now, but at the time, I figured your family—who were, after all, originally Varinskis— had you virtually imprisoned, probably terrified to leave. I didn’t know what to do to free you. I was actually planning a kidnapping of my own.’’
‘‘Cool!’’
Too revealing.
‘‘I mean . . . so how did you get ahold of the Varinskis?’’
Too revealing.
‘‘I mean . . . so how did you get ahold of the Varinskis?’’
‘‘Eight months ago, the Varinskis got hold of me. They were skulking around looking for the Wilders. I was skulking around looking for you. They discovered I was like them.’’
‘‘A predator?’’
‘‘Exactly. Vadim did a little research and discovered the letter I’d written so long ago telling them I was a Varinski. He contacted me with an offer of a nice check—half in advance—if I discovered exactly where the Wilders lived. It took me a lot of tries before I followed you all the way in, and your brothers—’’
‘‘Your brothers,’’ she reminded him.
‘‘And Jasha and Rurik almost caught me.’’
Douglas
looked down at his hands. ‘‘I was stupid. Vadim said he wanted revenge; he wanted to hit your father . . . my father where it hurt. He was going to expose him as a criminal and get him sent back to the
Ukraine
, and ruin the fortune your family had acquired. I figured I would swoop in, rescue you from the prison in which they kept you, and take you to my house, the house I bought with the money the Varinskis paid me, and you’d be grateful and love me forever.’’ As he told her his dreams, he was squirming with discomfort. ‘‘Stupid, huh?’’
Douglas
looked down at his hands. ‘‘I was stupid. Vadim said he wanted revenge; he wanted to hit your father . . . my father where it hurt. He was going to expose him as a criminal and get him sent back to the
Ukraine
, and ruin the fortune your family had acquired. I figured I would swoop in, rescue you from the prison in which they kept you, and take you to my house, the house I bought with the money the Varinskis paid me, and you’d be grateful and love me forever.’’ As he told her his dreams, he was squirming with discomfort. ‘‘Stupid, huh?’’
She put her hands over his. ‘‘It’s sweet, in an apocalyptic, end-of-the-world sort of way.’’
‘‘Believe me, I never dreamed they’d try to unloose all-out war. I mean, come on! This isn’t some dictatorship, or a third-world country. There are laws!’’
‘‘As Vadim found out, to his misfortune.’’
‘‘I’ve made so many mistakes. I should have trusted you the first time I met you, and told you who and what I was. I should have trusted you when you came to me again, and told you what I’d done. Most of all, I should never have given in to the evil of my soul and joined with the Varinskis.’’ Manlike, he added, ‘‘You can’t ever forgive me.’’
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