Into The Fire (The Ending Series) (28 page)

I had the impression that Dani was smiling.
“Calm down,
Jason. I’m having dinner with Gabe to interrogate him for more information that’ll
help you guys plan the breakout. Crap, you’d think it was a date or something…”

“Is he coming with you when you leave?” Jason asked quietly.

Dani didn’t say anything, and I scoured Jason’s face for
signs of boiling emotions. There was only a glint in his eyes, a dangerous
glint.

“Dani…?” Though Jason’s voice was soft, it was filled with
warning.

“Yes, he’s coming with me. But—”

“Good. I’ve got a few words for him.”

“Jason, it’s not like—”

“After what he did, it doesn’t matter what it’s—”

“Alright you guys, this isn’t helping.” I glared at Jason,
willing him to calm down. “You can argue about this later when we’ve got her
back,” I reassured him. “…and when Gabe is within punching distance,” I
muttered.

Jason grunted.

Dani sighed mentally.
“Fine. But you should know, Camille
and Mase might be coming, too.”

“Anyone else tagging along?” Jason asked. “Maybe you should
make a Colony-wide announcement.”

“No,”
Dani said tartly.
“But if you think it’s a
good idea, maybe I will.”

Jason closed his eyes, but the hint of a smile tugged at the
corners of his mouth. “Sorry,” he said.

There was a pause, then Dani said,
“Me too. I just…I miss
you, Jason. I miss everything…I miss—”

“Okay guys,” I blurted, unable to handle their love-ness.
“I’m gonna go. Dani, please be safe and promise me you’ll let us know if plans
change and we need to get you out sooner.”

“I promise,”
she said.

Jason didn’t even glance at me before wandering off into the
sparse woods beyond the stable to continue his conversation with Dani in
private.

I turned to face the group, all of their curious, concerned
eyes on me. “Come on,” I said, snatching Wings’s reins and leading her toward the
stable. “I’ll fill you guys in.”

As I ran through everything with them, answering the few
questions I could, I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering to thoughts about
Dani and Jason and how obscenely much they cared about one another.

Jake had proven he cared about me many times. I knew that if
it was in his power, like Jason with Dani, he would never let any physical harm
come to me. He could protect me from bullets and transfuse his blood with mine
when I needed it. He could wash my hair and help keep me from freezing at night—but
he couldn’t protect me from the tension that tightened my neck and shoulders or
the dull, incessant ache that pulsed inside me at the thought of him leaving,
like he’d almost done.

I didn’t have a choice with Mom—she was gone before I could even
get to know her. Jason had been gone since we were little kids, leaving me
alone with our broken dad, who was always distant and preoccupied.
But
it was different with Jake
.
He’d never made me any promises.
He’s not
tied to me like my family was supposed to be.
I rolled my eyes. The frequent
conversations I was having with myself hadn’t escaped my attention.

After I unsaddled and brushed Wings in her stall, I moved to
the next stall over to check on Shadow. He was standing in the shade of his
paddock, his head drooping as he snoozed. His ears perked when he heard my
footsteps, and his head shot up. Without the halter, his wounds were able to
heal, and the raw flesh lining his forehead and jaw was already scabbing over.

I leaned against the fence, crossing my arms on the top
slat. “Hey, fella. How you feeling?” I asked him softly. He looked better.
Although his muscles were wasted, his chest was broad and his legs were long. He
was a good five and a half feet tall. His onyx coat had blue undertones in the
dying light. He walked toward me, his ears never moving from my direction.

“Are you going to let me pet you again?” I asked, holding
out the back of my hand.

He stopped at the railing and bent his head down to hang
languorously, waiting to be touched.

“Well, that was easier than I expected.” I smiled and
reached out to brush his nose with the back of my hand.

He took a step closer, making me lean back to allow him into
my space.

“You’re affectionate today.” Being careful of his wounds, I
stroked his face, moving his long bangs to the side so I could rub his forehead
and velvety ears.

I stayed with him until the sun started to set behind the
hills. The clouds were soft and airy, giving the appearance that pink frosting
had been spread throughout the pale purple backdrop of the sky.

“How’s he doing?” Jake’s voice was low and soft as he sidled
up beside me.

I tensed, my insides both warmed and nauseated by his
presence. He smelled so good, like leather and soap and hay, but the uncertain
tone of his voice was unfamiliar. I shook all pesky, lustful thoughts from my
head.

“He’s doing really well.” I examined the dwindling amount of
grass in the pasture before shifting my eyes to a cut on my finger. I wondered
how I’d injured myself as I looked everywhere but at the formidable man standing
directly beside me.

“Bet you’ll be riding him sooner than you think.”
Jake’s
attempt to be normal was admirable, but
I cringed inwardly. I couldn’t bear
the awkward small talk. I shrugged, looking at Shadow, not sure if he’d ever
let me onto his back. But then he nudged my shoulder, wanting more attention.
“Yeah, maybe.”

There was a pause, a breath that turned into three, and then
four.

“What’s going on, Zoe?” Jake asked, suddenly closer to me.
His body heat seared through my clothes and into my skin. I wanted to melt into
him, but I didn’t want to feel the vulnerability that always came with being
alone with him…not anymore. I stepped away.

“Why are you—are you still upset with me about what happened
in town? Back at the river, I thought…”

I shook my head, not sure if I was lying. “I’m just tired,
and I’ve got a lot on my mind. There’s a lot going on, and…I think I’m just
going to call it an early night.” I turned toward the house.

Jake reached out and gripped my upper arm. “Please stop
walking away from me.” He paused. “Is it Dani?”

I shook my head again.

He let go of me, both of our arms dropping to our sides in
exasperation. “You’re not like Jason,” he said bitterly.

I glared at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You can’t hold everything inside like he does.” I could
tell Jake felt slighted. “You tried that before and it didn’t work, remember?”
I could feel his anger rising, and I saw an image of me in his mind—the memory
of my breakdown at Fort Knox, the night reality had crashed into me and I’d
crumpled to the floor in the cafeteria, sobbing.

“Thanks for the reminder,” I quipped quietly.

“Tell me what it is.” The injured look in his imploring
brown eyes made it impossible not to say something.

“I can’t—”

“Why not?” He took a step closer, and I remembered how his
arms had felt wrapped around me down at the river.

“Because—”

“Because why?”

“Because you’re just going to leave!” I blurted. “That’s why
I never…I can’t keep letting you in, Jake. I know that’s how this thing between
us ends.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes! And I don’t have the strength for that. Not right
now.” My voice was unsteady and quiet. “Besides, with Becca and
everything…things are changing.”

His eyes widened.

I was floundering, losing my grasp on reason, wanting to
give in to instant gratification, to just fall into his arms. But I couldn’t
allow myself to, so I tried again. “Things are already—”

“Things are already what?” He braced his hands against the
fence, pinning me in place.

“—hard enough!” I straightened. “I can’t—”

“Can’t or don’t want to? There’s a difference. You have no
idea—”

I pushed past him, on the verge of unrelenting tears. “I’m
sorry, Jake, but I can’t do this. Please. Just let me go.”

Overwhelmed, I hurried into the house, relieved there was no
one around to ask me any more questions. I passed the parlor and ran up the
stairs to my room. Jake’s room.
Our
room. I looked at the double bed,
the old patchwork quilt covered by our conjoined, nylon sleeping bags. Just
looking at our bed—the one that felt like it changed form weekly, but always
felt the same with us in it together—the tears I’d been holding back began
streaming down my cheeks. Taking a resolute step forward, I unzipped the
sleeping bags, leaving them separated on top of the mattress. I was too
exhausted to think anymore.

Leaving the door open, I hoped the heat from the fire
downstairs would find its way in during the later hours of the night, since I
wouldn’t have Jake’s body to warm me. I was too focused on the growing emptiness
I felt to pay much attention to the whispers and movement in the parlor below.
I
just need some sleep
,
I told myself.
I’ll pull myself together
in the morning.

I pulled my sweatshirt over my head, then wrestled to get
out of my boots, eventually flinging them across the floor in
frustration. My patience was wearing thin, and my bones were still cold
from the river. I pulled off my pants, too exhausted to worry about finding and
donning my pajamas, and crawled into the soft flannel lining of the sleeping bag.
I exhaled a long, deep breath and nestled into its warmth.

The sound of the wooden floorboards creaking jarred me from
the brink of sobs. My back was to the door, but I heard heavy footsteps
entering the room and then boots falling to the floor. I heard the muted sound
of metal being set on the wooden vanity and then the click-clack of Cooper’s
nails as he padded into the room to sleep on the floor on Jake’s side of the
bed.

The mattress depressed behind me as Jake lay down. He turned
to me, curling his warm body around mine outside of my sleeping bag. His arm
came around my middle, pulling me against him, and his worry and sadness enshrouded
me.

I held my uneven breaths, hoping I could suffocate my sobs.

Jake said nothing. He whispered no reassurances, nor did he
ask me to confide in him again. But he held me, and I clutched on to his
strong, comforting arms as they tightened around me. I sobbed silently,
thankful the room was dark.

21

DANI

MARCH
21, 1AE

Part of me wanted to stand up and pace, and part of me
craved to reach out with my telepathy to tell Zoe and Jason that I’d found
their mom…but I couldn’t do either. The latter was off-limits because, though I
was certain Dr. Wesley
was
their mother, she was also the one who
created the Virus, killing almost every person my friends and I loved. Knowing
what she’d done would hurt them more than her abandonment. They were better off
thinking the Virus killed her.

As for the standing, I couldn’t do that because I was in Dr.
Wesley’s office with her, trying to keep myself from attacking her. I had to
sit on my hands to keep from scratching out her eyeballs.

Only a few words had been exchanged since I’d stormed into
her office, and at least a quarter of an hour had passed in verbal silence.
Staring into her jewel-blue eyes, I despised her, even more so for her striking
resemblance to my two favorite people, and for what she’d done to
them…abandoning them.
How did I
not
see it before? I can’t believe I
was so blind!

Finally, my voice low and cold, I managed to ask, “Why?”
When she didn’t respond, I jumped to my feet and stalked to her desk, planted
my hands on the surface, and leaned in. “Tell me why you did it. Tell me why
you killed everyone.”

She blinked, slowly, the rest of her body going completely
still. “For my family. For my children. I had no choice.”
Does she know that
I know who she is?

“There’s always a choice,” I snapped, but the words didn’t
sound as harsh as I’d intended. She was talking about Zoe and Jason—
my
Zoe and Jason—and, unwillingly, some of my fiery hatred for this woman
dampened.
But I
want
to hate her…
“Explain,” I demanded.

Dr. Wesley sighed, and her strength of will seemed to
deflate, like she was letting go of a burden she’d carried all her life. She
suddenly appeared an older, more haggard woman than she’d been a few seconds
earlier. “Before my children were born,” she said softly, “before my husband
and I were married, I worked for a civilian company contracted by the
Department of Defense. I made a breakthrough that landed our little lab on the
DOD’s radar, and the opportunity to receive their funding was one we couldn’t
turn down, so we relocated from our small Maryland town to a military base.”
She laughed softly, a sound devoid of humor, and shook her head. “Shortly after
my team and I moved, I met my husband.”

As I watched Dr. Wesley—Dr. Cartwright, in all reality—lose
herself in memory, I lowered myself into one of the worn, padded chairs in
front of her desk. I didn’t think her story was going to be short, but if it
contained the answers I sought, an explanation for why any person would do what
she’d done, I could sit and listen and be patient. Why she was telling me her
story, I didn’t know, and honestly, I didn’t care, just so long as she gave me
answers…information…ammo.
Assuming she’s telling the truth…

“He was a soldier, one of the men in the unit assigned to
guard us, which really meant keep an eye on us so we didn’t hand potentially
dangerous technology over to ‘the enemy.’” She smiled wistfully, the past
filling her eyes. “I hated him for months, but that was really just because I’d
fallen for him almost the first moment I saw him, and I refused to give up my
career for a man.” She was quiet for a moment. “When I discovered what the
military intended to do with my research, he was the one who helped me escape.”