Confessions of a Military Wife
© 2009, 2010 by Mollie Gross
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Printed in the United States of America.
Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available from the Library of Congress.
ISBN 978-1-932714-76-0
05 04 03 02 01 5 4 3 2
Second edition, first printing
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All photos courtesy of the author unless otherwise stated.
Opinions expressed by the author are not necessarily held by others who appear in this book, the United States Marine Corps, or the United States Department of Defense. Some names and identifying characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.
This book is lovingly dedicated to my amazing Grandma Ruby …
for all she taught me, for all the support she gave me,
and for all the things we share.
Contents
ON THE L.A.M. (LIFE AFTER THE MILITARY)
INTRODUCTION
It covers my experiences as a Marine Corps wife, specifically talking about life on base and enduring wartime deployments. To protect their privacy, I have changed the names of some of the women mentioned in the book.
My husband and I lived on base from 2002 to 2006. During that time, Jon went through two war-time deployments as part of 2nd Battalion 1st Marines. He was an Infantry Platoon Commander and was attached to the 15th Marine Expeditionary Unit aboard the USS
Tarawa.
During his first deployment Jon was part of the initial invasion of Iraq.
His second deployment was to Camp Baharia, just outside the city of Fallujah. At that point, he was a Company Executive Officer and participated in various combat operations within the city of Fallujah.
This book can be read from beginning to end. But, if you’re like me, you may want to skip around—reading a topic that appeals to you.
I suffer with Attention Deficit Disorder, so I tend to flip through books stopping to read what interests me.
This is not meant to be a “How to Guide” to provide wives with resources on base or those offered by the military. There are plenty of those books already. In fact, I have at least five.
This book is meant to make you laugh and help you understand your situation. Since I believe in the healing power of laughter, I have tried to provide you with a resource for the times when you need a pick me up.
I have reached so many military wives through my stand up shows, on line videos, and on my MySpace or my website. And they all tell me, over and over, “I really needed that. I needed to laugh!”
Since this book is an extension of my comedy routine, I expanded on many of the stories I don’t have time to spell out on stage.
I want military wives to know they are not alone and that wacky things happen. Let’s laugh at ourselves. Or at least laugh at me and know I can laugh at myself.
All deployments are different; each marriage is unique. I also acknowledge there are differences within and between the branches of the military. This book is written from my perspective, but we share a common thread—the love of country and honor for our spouses who serve.
My goal in writing this book is to lift the spirits of any wife—no matter the branch of service or her spouse’s rank. I want the Silent Ranks to understand there is no right way to be a “dependent.” It all boils down to support and love.
To any women considering marrying a military man, I hope this book helps you understand what you’re facing. The role of military wife is a tough one. It demands a commitment not only to your spouse, but also to the service.
You need to be aware that your needs will be second to the military, that you may be alone for months at a time and will find yourself moving to a new home every four years.
It takes a special type of person to commit to that. It is not for everyone. Be honest with your needs.
For civilians reading this book, I offer an honest picture of what it’s like being married to the military. We have our own culture and priorities, but we also have a lot of pride in what we are doing.
Military wives are described as members of the Silent Ranks. We wear no rank nor do we receive medals or ribbons of achievement for our years of service. We serve silently beside our servicemen.
At times you will see these women are “not so silently ranked.” They are not women sitting at home crying and tying yellow ribbons around trees.
We also laugh, thrive, and live.
I hope this book inspires the military wives to laugh and live. It has been an honor representing you. I encourage you to continue your journey to become your husband’s “independent.”
Since I had trouble understanding the language of the military, I felt it was important to include a glossary explaining the acronyms used throughout the book.
Thanks for picking up my book. Here’s to many laughs together.
Fi
esty!
Years ago during a deployment I told Natalie and Kat, “I’m going to write a book about all this.” Six years later my comedy coach, Bill Word, told me over lunch, “Just write it all ready. You have to just do it.”
He was right and so was the timing. I had had enough time to recover from the deployments and could rationally process my thoughts again. I had piles of notes and stories scratched down on notepads. Many of the comedy events were already being played out on stage. So, I began to write.
At the same time I also started touring military bases using an hour of material I had written. I launched a MySpace account, which gained me a fan base that spread across the world and in every branch of the military. Six months later, I had a finished manuscript. Thanks Bill!
There are so many people to thank. One of the first is my comedy writing partner Andy Salamone, who helped me decide what is funny, or showed me how to make certain material even funnier. Just hearing Andy’s voice makes the creative wheel in my brain start cranking at full speed! We are a great team.
Many thanks go out to the military wives in all different branches who read my manuscript and encouraged me to approach topics no other military wives have ever discussed. They kept me focused on what was important and what needed to be confessed—as brutally honest as it may be. Their feedback was priceless.
Writing a book is one thing. Getting it published is an entirely different experience. Meeting Melody Abshear at Camp Pendelton was my first gift from God. She is my muse and as Type-A as I am! Melody always fills in the blanks and heads me in the right direction. I can’t really get by without her. She put me on the right track to getting this book published and helped me put together my proposal.
I cannot thank my husband enough for his hours of commitment to my book. From spell checking to proof reading (which was not easy to do when it’s his wife’s story about the deployments he put her through), from his cutting and pasting, dealing with my frequent outburst and tantrums, researching online to find proposal copies and templates, finding resources, and then the right publishing house, he helped with it all. It was a team effort. He is a good man.
Finding Savas Beatie (or did they find me?) was a perfect fit. Managing Director Theodore P. Savas and I hit it off instantly on the phone. I was so impressed by what Ted and his company had done with their other books, especially Nick “Gunny Pop” Popaditch’s
Once a Marine: An Iraq War
Tank
Commander’s
Inspirational
Memoir
of
Combat,
Courage,
and
Recovery
(2008). Reading Nick’s story was incredible. What was even more incredible was when my Marine husband told me he was pretty sure he knew “Gunny Pop.” When he was in Fallujah he heard about an “eccentric Gunny tank commander.” When Gunny Pop was hit in the head by a rocket and blinded in April of 2004 during the First Battle of Fallujah, my husband helped medivac Gunny to Camp Fallujah. The world is indeed a small place. The pieces for my book were falling into alignment.
Meeting Gunny Pop and his wife April at one of my shows was amazing. I felt like we had known them forever! I know that moving forward with Savas Beatie is the best fit for
Confessions of a Military Wife.
Ted understands and supports all I am trying to do for military wives and their families. I deeply appreciate it. Not many people shed light on the “Silent Ranks,” and Ted is helping to bring them right out front and center. Thank you, Ted, for not only giving me this opportunity but also for allowing me to reach these women.