Intimate 02 - Intimate Surrender (13 page)

She breathed a deep sigh, then nodded.

He walked into the room and sat in the chair she indicated. Before she joined him, she walked to the table where she kept several decanters of liquor and poured a glass of brandy for Rafe and a glass of wine for herself. A knock on the door interrupted them.

“Are you all right?” Dalia asked, stepping into the room.

She nodded. “I’m fine, Dalia. Come in. I’d like you to meet someone.”

Dalia closed the door and walked toward them.

“Dalia, this is Rafe Waterford—Vicar Waterford. He’s a…friend. Rafe, Miss Dalia Cavendau. Dalia’s both a friend and a business partner. She helps me run Madam Genevieve’s.”

“Vicar?” Dalia asked. Her questioning gaze locked with Hannah’s. “Vicar Waterford?”

“Yes, Dalia. Vicar.”

“Miss Cavendau,” Rafe greeted.

Dalia cast Rafe an evaluative glance. Her hesitation was obvious. She finally spoke. “I’d like to thank you for helping Delores like you did. And the young lass. She wouldn’t have made it without your help.”

Rafe’s gaze shifted from Dalia to Hannah. “I’ll accept your thanks once I make sure the girl didn’t exchange one owner for another. Not before.”

A frown covered Dalia’s brow.

Hannah pointed to a third chair. “You might as well join us, Dalia. I was about to explain about the young girl Vicar Waterford rescued.”

The frown on Dalia’s forehead deepened. “Do you think that’s wise?”

“I don’t think either of you have a choice,” Rafe said. “I’m not leaving until I know what you intend to do with that young girl.”

Dalia’s eyebrows shot upward. “
Do
?”

“Yes,
do
.”

Dalia cast Hannah a look of concern, then slowly sat.

Hannah walked to the chair opposite Rafe and sat. “Unlike Skinner and his associates,” she said once she had his attention, “we are not in the habit of selling children. The ladies who work at Madam Genevieve’s are here because they
choose
to be here. Their reasons vary. As hard as this may be for you to understand, some are here because they enjoy the work.”

Hannah enjoyed the color that flooded Rafe’s face.

“Some are here because society turned their back on them, and this was the only occupation open to them. They are all, however, free to leave Madam Genevieve’s anytime they choose.”

“But they don’t,” Dalia added. “Madam Genevieve’s reputation is known far and wide. Ladies come here to work because our clientele is of a superior quality. We don’t allow mistreatment of any kind, and that’s very important to our girls.”

Hannah looked at Rafe. “How did you find me?”

“Caroline told me where you were.”

“If they told you that much, I assume they told you how I came to be here and why I’ve stayed.”

The nod of Rafe’s head was slight but told her he knew most of her story.

“When I reached London, I arrived with nothing more than the clothes on my back. I hadn’t eaten for several days and was near starvation. I tried to find respectable work, but no one would hire me. None of the
good
people of London wanted anything to do with me. There was only one occupation left me.”

“There were churches here,” Rafe said. “Why didn’t you go to one of them for help?”

The tone of his voice contained a hint of censure, and Hannah’s temper rose. “Excellent suggestion, Vicar Waterford. I knew the good Christians in London would surely rescue me from near death, even if my attacker had been a member of that elect group. I was certain I could rely on them to help me.”

Hannah rose to her feet and paced the space between them. “Do you think I didn’t go from one church to the
next to beg for help? For at least a scrap of bread? And from one or two, that’s what I received. A scrap of bread! Yes, Vicar Waterford. From a few of the Good Samaritans of this world, I received a scrap of bread—before they slammed their door in my face.”

Hannah stopped. “Do you know who saved me?” She didn’t wait for his answer. “One of Madam Genevieve’s ladies. Yes, Vicar Waterford. A whore. Not a man of the cloth, or any of the good Christians in the church. But a whore. Her name was Claudette, and she half-carried me to Madam Genevieve’s because when she found me, I wasn’t strong enough to walk on my own.”

Hannah took a deep breath, then sat again. “Claudette and several of the other girls here nursed me back to health. When I was strong enough, they gave me the choice of staying or leaving.” Hannah paused. “I had no place to go. So I stayed.

“I worked hard and saved as much money as I could from my nightly take. When the previous Madam Genevieve decided she wanted to retire, I offered to buy her business. I wanted the security owning my own business would give me. I never wanted to be as helpless as I was when I arrived in London as a fifteen-year-old. I paid her what she asked and became the new Madam Genevieve.”

Hannah fixed an unwavering gaze in Rafe’s direction. It was important that he understood her goal. “I made a promise the day I took possession of Madam Genevieve’s. I vowed that I would never miss an opportunity to rescue as many young girls as I could from living on the street.”

A lump formed in her throat when she thought of all the girls she’d saved. That lump threatened to choke her when she thought of all the girls she hadn’t reached in time.

As if Dalia realized how close to tears Hannah was, she continued the story for her.

“At first Genny went out every day by herself,” she said. “When the rest of us discovered what she was doing, we took turns going out too.”

“Is that what happened today?” Rafe asked. His voice was softer and filled with less censure than before.

“Yes,” Dalia answered. “Skinner and his cohorts cater to the more depraved of your species. Of high demand are children and virgins. He either lures them into service, or he steals them.”

Rafe’s gaze lowered to the floor.

“Yes, my lord,” Hannah said. “They steal them. That’s why it’s so important that we keep a close watch and move as fast as we can.”

“Surely you realize you’re not safe?” Rafe asked.

Concern filled his eyes, and Hannah felt a tug at her heart. He cared about her. No one had ever cared about her. She swallowed hard. “Neither are the children. They need me. They need all of us to save them.”

Hannah looked at the man who’d caused such turmoil in her life and reminded herself that they didn’t have a future together. They were worlds apart, and no amount of wishing or dreaming or praying could bring their worlds closer.

A knock on the door kept her from saying more to him.

“I just left the girl,” one of the prostitutes known as Ruthie said from the open doorway. “She lives with her granny and ran away ’cause she said it was boring there.” Ruthie smiled. “She doesn’t like the excitement here and has decided to go home.”

“I’m glad,” Hannah answered. She was thankful she didn’t have to make room for the girl at Coventry Cottage. It was overcrowded as it was. “Has Humphrey returned? Was he hurt?”

“He has a cut on his arm, but other than that, he escaped his tussle with Skinner’s men unharmed.”

“Good. As soon as he’s able, have him take the girl to her grandmother. And send Clemmons with him. Everyone needs to take special care from now on.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Dalia stood. “I’ll make sure the girl gets on her way,” she said.

“Thank you,” Hannah answered, then watched as her friend left the room. She and Rafe were alone.

He stood and stepped closer to her. “You can’t stay here, Hannah. It’s not safe. Come away with me.”

His entreaty was serious. He really wanted to have a life with her. Except, in time he’d regret his rash decision. How could it be any different?

Her past would be a constant hurdle. It didn’t matter where they went; eventually someone would recognize her. In time he wouldn’t be able to endure the comments and accusations. She wouldn’t be worth the humiliation he suffered—a man of the cloth married to a prostitute. When that happened, he’d hate himself because he’d been infatuated by someone so flawed. And he’d hate her because of who and what she was.

She shook her head. “No, Rafe.”

“You have feelings for me. I know you do. You may not be brave enough to face them yet, but you care for me. I know you do. I knew it the second we kissed.”

“It doesn’t matter what I feel for you, or what you feel for me. All that matters is that you are a vicar searching for a parish where you can do what you’ve been called to do. And I am a prostitute. A whore.”

“You’re not a whore! Madam Genevieve is a
role
you’ve played but not who you really are. Beneath your fancy clothes and beautifully styled hair, you’re a good, pious woman. Madam Genevieve is someone you were forced to become because of what happened to you when you were young.”

Hannah stared at him in disbelief. “Listen to yourself, Rafe. Listen to the lies you’re telling yourself about me.” She slashed her hand between them. “You’re trying to
pretend
I’m the same as the other females who sit in the pews every Sunday morning. But I’m not!”

“Don’t say that. You can’t help what that man did to you when you were young.”

“No, I couldn’t help what he did. But that doesn’t change
what
he did. Or what I became because of what he did. You are the one who can’t face it. You want to pretend my past never existed.”

“Then you’ll change. You can become respectable. We’ll go away and start over. No one will ever know who you were.”

You can become respectable.

Hannah slowly turned and walked to the other side of the room. With her back to him, she pressed her fists against her stomach. The ache there nearly doubled her over.

“A person doesn’t
become
respectable. Respect is something that’s earned. And being a prostitute doesn’t earn a person respect.”

“I didn’t mean that, Hannah. You know I didn’t.”

“Leave, Rafe. Go home. Find a parish where you can devote your time to being a shepherd to the saints of this world. Leave me and the sinners of this world alone. We don’t need you.
I
don’t need you.”

“Hannah—”

“Leave!”

A long, agonizing silence stretched before the door opened then closed. The room echoed with a hollow emptiness, and this time she knew he was gone. Her heart ached with a devastating void that only came from knowing that all was lost.

And in that moment, Hannah knew she’d lost the only person who would ever mean anything to her.

She’d lost the only man she would ever love.

H
annah entered Madam Genevieve’s through her private entrance and handed her cloak to the waiting butler. She headed toward the stairs that would take her to her suite of rooms on the third floor. She was tired. She wanted nothing more than to sit down with a chilled glass of wine and hope it would help her forget.

“Did you find who you were looking for?”

Hannah looked to the top of the stairs and saw Dalia. She stood as if she were Hannah’s mother and had postponed going to bed so she could reprimand her daughter for coming home late.

Hannah shook her head, then began her climb up the steps. “I wasn’t looking for anyone in particular. I just thought there might be a young girl out there who needed our help.”

“How much longer are you going to torture yourself like this?”

“Like what?” Hannah said when she reached the top of the stairs. She walked past her friend and went to her rooms. “I’m not torturing myself.”

“You are and have been since your vicar left.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Hannah opened the door to her sitting room and entered. Dalia followed her. “And he’s not my vicar.”

“Taking chances like you are isn’t going to help. It’s only going to get you into trouble.”

“I don’t take chances. I don’t go out alone. Humphrey is always with me.”

“Except when you go off by yourself and tell him to stay with the carriage.”

“Who told you—” Hannah stopped. She should have known Dalia would demand Humphrey report any risks she took. Dalia was worried about her. They all were. She could tell from the way they watched over her.

It had been two weeks since Rafe left, and everyone treated her as if she were something fragile and about to break.

“I’ve never seen you like this, Genny. I know you’re keeping yourself busy to forget him, but it’s not good for you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not trying to forget anyone. I just remember the promise I made myself years ago. I’d forgotten it for a while.”

“You didn’t forget. None of us forgot. But we knew to be careful. We didn’t underestimate the danger like you’re doing now. It’s as if you
want
a confrontation with Skinner.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hannah repeated, although that was
exactly
what she wanted. This war wouldn’t be over until one of them came out on top. Skinner wouldn’t be stopped until he was eliminated.

“When I think of the girls Skinner’s already got his hands on, I get sick. It’s never been more important to save as many girls as we can.”

“That’s what we’ve always done,” Dalia said, “but we’ve never searched for them night and day.”