Instant Daddy (12 page)

“I tried.”

“And this is what she—”

“He.”

“He sketched for you?”

Peter frowned at the drawing. “Am I missing something? Or is it sanctimonious, oppressive and pretentious?”

“Exactly,” she agreed.

Unfortunately, the drawings for Jake’s room were just as bad.

“You need a different decorator, Peter. One that’s more in tune with the kind of home you want.”

“Or maybe I need help explaining what I want.”

She frowned up at him. “I’ve never known you to be at a loss for words.”

“I think using the
right
words is my problem.”

“I can’t imagine how a decorator could more thoroughly misunderstand that you want a warm, comfortable, child-friendly home.”

“I’m glad I ran this by you. I would be miserable living in this place if I’d accepted his interpretation.”

“You wouldn’t have accepted this, would you?”

He shrugged. “I’ve ignored some pretty bad surroundings in the furnished apartments I’ve rented.”

“You’ve never owned your own place?”

He shook his head. “I’m never home except to sleep. But I want a home now. And I hope you’ll bring Jake to Madison to visit. As often as possible.”

She bit her lip. Madison was the last place she wanted to go. But Peter was driving so far to see Jake. How could she let him do all the compromising where Jake was concerned? She focused on the decorator’s ideas again. Pitiful.

“Can you give me a few suggestions to convey to a decorator?”

“I can’t just look at a drawing and come up with anything specific, Peter. I have to feel the space.”

“Well, in that case, how soon will a trip to Madison work for you?”

She looked at him blankly, then realized what she’d said. Obviously, a trip to Madison
was
what it would take for her to feel the space, wasn’t it? Dragging a breath, she shot Peter a doubtful look.

“Remember, I’m camping out on the floor in the middle of nothing. My one convenience is a package of disposable glasses so I can take a drink of water without slurping it from the faucet. Help me. Please?” He looked at her pleadingly.

She rolled her eyes at his “poor me” expression. “And this is my problem, why?”

He raised a dark eyebrow. “Because you are a compassionate human being.”

“That’s the best you can come up with?”

Giving her a half-grin, he tapped his index finger on the stack of drawings. “You’re not going to throw
Jake’s dad
to the decorating wolves, are you?”

She harrumphed.

“Tell you what…I’ll rent a car and leave the SUV for you to drive down. It has a DVD player in the back to occupy Jake on the trip.”

A nightmare of crashing metal bombarded her memory. Smells of spilled gas and oil. Chilling screams. Searing pain. “It’s impossible.”

“But I’m desperate. Sleeping-on-the-floor desperate.”

She shook her head. She couldn’t drive on the freeway. No way would she be comfortable driving in all that traffic. “I’d have to find help to cover the diner.
I’m not sure how Jake would handle four hours in the car.”

Shaking his head, Peter rubbed the back of his neck as if he wasn’t buying her excuses.

And why should he? Hadn’t he accepted her terms on just about everything with Jake? Would it kill her to do something for him for a change? “When I close the diner Sunday afternoon, maybe Jake and I can ride down with you then. Oh wait, that won’t work. How would we get home?”

He brightened. “Drive the SUV back to Noah’s Crossing. I’ll rent a car for the week.”

Same problem. She’d have to drive on the freeway. “Or we could take the bus home.” She pressed her fingers to her forehead. “This is getting awfully complicated.”

“Not at all.”

She realized she hadn’t even considered another complication. “Even if the DVD player helps Jake on the trip down, I can’t make him sit in his seat all the way home again.”

“You and Jake will stay with me, of course.”

She frowned.

“I have four bedrooms, Jessie. The master bedroom is downstairs, so you and Jake will have the entire second floor to yourselves. I’m having a king mattress and spring delivered tomorrow. I’ll call the store and have them deliver two sets and tell them to throw in a crib.”

“I have a Pack ’N Play for Jake. And we’ll stay in a motel.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’ll be safer at my place.”

She wasn’t so sure, given the butterflies playing havoc in her stomach. She gave him a serious frown.

“Okay. You win. I’ll make a reservation. And everything will work out fine. You’ll see.”

Easy for him to say.

T
he drone of heavy interstate traffic assaulted her. Jessie dragged her gaze from the speedometer and focused on Peter’s strong hands on the steering wheel. His long, capable fingers expertly guided the SUV in and out of traffic that had gotten much heavier in the past five minutes. She’d never seen so many cars and semis and recreational vehicles flying down the highway. Nobody realized how quickly one distracted driver could change all these people’s lives forever.

She blew her hair off her forehead. How had she let Peter talk her into making this trip? She wasn’t ready. Wanting to be ready didn’t mean she could do it.
Please keep us safe, God. And please don’t let me throw up.

“To make a long story short,” Peter continued his tale about a boarding-school experience. “The students regretted stealing the questions from my dorm room when they all flunked their tests the next morning.”

“You told the teacher?”

Peter shook his head. “He would have expelled them. I didn’t want that on my conscience, so I worked half the night on another group of questions.”

Tamping down her tension, she tried to smile. “Good save.”

“It worked. They never tried that prank again.”

She liked him sharing things about his life with her. Obviously, his teachers recognized he was a very gifted student and gave him a lot of responsibility. But she heard the undertow of loneliness in the humorous stories he’d been sharing about growing up in boarding schools. Deep loneliness that made her want to put her arms around him and make it all go away.

How ridiculous was that? She couldn’t even make her own fears go away. She eyed vehicles bumper to bumper, vying for position at breakneck speeds and gripped the seat a little tighter. Why was everybody in such a hurry?

“Hungry?” Peter asked.

“What?”

“It’s almost six. I don’t have food at my place, so we need to stop at a restaurant for dinner.”

The thought of food was not a good one right now. Besides, Jake had been an angel the entire trip, either napping or captivated by Thomas DVDs. But all his inactivity would cost them once his feet hit the ground. “Jake will need to run off steam. I don’t think we want to turn him loose in a restaurant.”

“Well, there’s a little pizza place around the corner from my condo that’s run by an Italian family. Can Jake eat pizza?”

“If it’s not too spicy. But I brought food for him in the cooler in the back.”

“Great. The place is near your motel. We’ll drop off your things and pick up a pizza. They make the best I’ve ever tasted. I’ve been keeping them in business ever since I moved.”

“Not much of a cook?”

“To try cooking, I’d need to go to a grocery store. And I wouldn’t have a clue what to buy.”

She cringed as a semi roared past at the speed of light.

Peter glanced at her. “The traffic bothers you, doesn’t it?”

She dragged a breath, her uneasy stomach rolling. “I hate the interstate,” she said through tight lips.

“Your accident happened on the interstate?”

She nodded. “Not far ahead.”

“I’m sorry, Jessie. I could have taken other roads.”

“The interstate’s faster.” She hoped the wobble in her voice didn’t give her away. “I’m fine.”

He nodded, apparently accepting her at her word. “We’re getting close to the Wisconsin Dells tourist area. Besides that, a lot of people are going home after spending the weekend away. It won’t be this bad tomorrow when you drive back. Of course, you can take back roads if you’d be more comfortable.”

“I think the bus is a better option.” Suddenly, the car to their left shot into their lane. “Peter!”

He braked, expertly allowing the errant car to merge. “Take a few deep breaths, Jessie. You’re white as a sheet.”

Gripping her forehead, she shut her eyes and tried to calm down.

“It was bad, wasn’t it?” he asked, concern in his voice.

She swallowed, not wanting to remember, but memories came anyway. “I was pinned in the car. By the time they got me out, I was in a pretty bad way. They medflighted me to U.W. Hospital.”

He blew out a breath. “You were driving?”

“No.” She kept her eyes closed, trying not to relive the nightmare that now woke her only occasionally. “Neil was driving.”

“Was he hurt, too?”

“Scrapes and bruises.”

“Was he at fault?”

“He was shuffling through CDs, and he blamed himself for not braking soon enough. But even if he could have stopped in time, the car behind us would have still slammed into us.”

“How long were you in the hospital?”

“Three months, and two more in the rehab center. I completed physical therapy in Eau Claire, which made it a little easier for my parents.” She heard her voice go on and on as if she were talking about somebody else.

“You did a great job in rehab.”

Rehab couldn’t solve everything though. She opened her eyes. “At first, doctors predicted I’d be in a wheel-chair. But God took good care of me.”

His brow furrowed.

She knew he didn’t believe in prayer. She could understand that. There’d been times when she’d had trouble, as well. But his expression said something was bothering him. “What is it?”

“I don’t understand how you think God took good care of you. After all you’ve been through.”

“Because He did. In the accident, in several surgeries… But believe me, I was angry and buried in self-pity for a good long while.”

“How did you get past it?”

“On one impossible day in therapy, praying was the only way I could get through the pain.” Her stomach ached just thinking of that day. “I’d never in my life felt so defeated and alone and hopeless. All I was able to do
was say God’s name, and somehow, He was there. Comforting. Easing the pain. Making me stronger.” She took a deep breath. “I was raised in the church, but prayer didn’t become real to me until that day.”

“I’ve been doing some reading about prayer since we talked about it.”

“Really?” She was a little surprised.

“Do you feel praying changed you that day?”

“Changed me?”

“Something I read about praying being not so much asking for what you want as asking to be changed in ways you can’t imagine.”

She turned his words over in her mind. “Yes. That was how I felt.” She hadn’t had those words before to describe the way God touched her that day, but they fit perfectly.

Slowing, Peter took an exit ramp off the interstate.

“Do we need gas again?”

“No. Interstate traffic will be even heavier the rest of the way to Madison. I think you’ll be more comfortable driving at a slower pace.”

He was taking care of her, and surprisingly, she didn’t resent it. Instead, warmth unfurled inside her like a blossom in spring. She laid her hand on his arm. “Thank you, Peter.”

Spicy smells of pizza still in the air, Jake’s squeals bounced off the hard surfaces of Peter’s soaring kitchen like a pickup game in a gymnasium. On his hands and knees, the little guy scrambled around the corner of the island pushing a giant truck.

Peter thundered after him also on his hands and knees pushing a truck. He almost ran square into Jessie’s legs. “Whoops.”

“Watch it.” She set their empty soda cans on the counter, the pizza box still in her hand.

He grinned up at her as if crawling around on the floor was a normal thing for a grown man to do. “Are you aware you’re entering a construction zone?”

Her warm smile eclipsed the sadness in her eyes. “Not as aware as your neighbors are, I’m sure.”

He laughed. “They’ll be shocked sounds are coming from my place.” He loved that she’d opened up to him on the way down about her accident. Loved that she’d risked coming to Madison in the first place. Maybe he was winning her trust?

Probably a good thing he hadn’t kissed her that night at her apartment when he’d walked in to find her painting and crying to her music. He’d been thinking about kissing her ever since. But trust needed to come first. He sure didn’t want to do anything to send her hiding from him again. “You’re my guest. You shouldn’t be cleaning up after us.”

“There’s not much to clean up. Besides, I’m getting stiff just sitting. I need to walk around a bit.”

“Pedo,” Jake hollered.

“Be right there, pal. I’m talking to your mommy.”

“Do you have a container to save the leftover pizza?” Jessie asked.

“Just set the box in the fridge. I’ll eat the pizza for breakfast.”

“You are joking, I hope.”

“Uh-oh. I forgot you take your food seriously.”

Rolling her eyes, she walked over and pulled open his oversize, stainless-steel refrigerator. “There’s plenty of room. Jake’s food and snacks from the cooler are the only things in here.”

“Pedo,” Jake yelled again. “Brocks.” On his knees, he held up a block in each hand for Peter to see.

“I think my buddy’s getting impatient.” Tearing himself away from Jessie, Peter thundered over to his son and set about helping him build a block tower.

Jessie circled the room, apparently getting some exercise. “Are you planning to buy pans and dishes? Or will you leave all those beautiful cupboards of yours empty?”

Aware of her whereabouts at any given moment, Peter guided Jake’s little hand to place a block on top of the stack. “That depends. Will you help me fill them?”

“I could help you buy dishes and pots and pans and spices—but unless you plan to cook, I guess there’s not much point in filling your cupboards, is there?”

“Sure there is. If you tell me what to buy, I’ll have whatever you need when you and Jake are here.”

“I have a diner to run, remember? Don’t fill the cupboards just for Jake and me.”

Who else was he going to fill them for? But she’d made her point. Just because she’d agreed to come to Madison this time didn’t mean he could take future trips for granted.

They couldn’t come often enough for him. Funny, his place didn’t have a stick of furniture, but it didn’t feel empty anymore. Not with Jake and Jessie filling it with more love than he knew how to deal with.

“But you need a coffeemaker to brew yourself a cup of coffee in the morning. And a toaster to make a piece of toast. And butter. Maybe honey and jam?”

He liked her fussing over what he ate. He liked it a lot. “Sounds great. I could buy bread and coffee at convenience stores when I get gas.”

“Bang!” Jake swung his arm and the block tower crashed loudly to the floor.

Peter laughed. “Good job, big guy. Shall we build another tower?”

Not answering, Jake crawled away and began zooming a small car along the floor.

Jessie sat down on the hearth of the towering stone fireplace.

“I think I’ll give my knees a rest on this trip, Jake.” Peter climbed to his feet, walked over and sat on the hearth beside Jessie, her familiar lemon scent drawing him in.

“I brought a few magazines for you to go through tonight and rip out pictures that strike you. It will help you get a feel for things you like before we go shopping tomorrow. And you can share the pictures with your decorator,” she said.

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re giving me homework?”

“Yep. I’m giving myself homework, too. If you let me take your Sunday paper to the motel with me, I’ll study ads and figure out where we can look at furniture tomorrow.”

“Sounds good. By the way, Scott and Karen invited us to stop over before you leave. They want to meet you and Jake.”

“I’d love to meet them.”

He couldn’t wait to show Jake and Jessie off. He smiled at Jake talking away to his car in a language all his own. “I’ve been meaning to tell you, I took out a life-insurance policy that will continue to grow for him.”

“That’s thoughtful, Peter. Clarissa left a trust for him, too.”

“Good for her. Jessie, I don’t resent her anymore for not telling me about Jake. She knew you’d be the best mother for him. She had no idea I’d want to be a father. Actually, neither did I until I met the little guy. She obviously did what she thought was best for the baby during a very stressful time.”

Jessie smiled. “She cared more than anybody thinks. She was a wonderful sister. I still miss her every day.”

Her words moving him, he grasped her hand, her skin warm and smooth to his touch.

She held on.

“Jessie, will you let me take care of him financially?”

She squinted at him.

“He’s my son. I need to do this.”

She gave a nod.

“Yeah?” He grinned, pleasantly surprised she’d agreed. And without an argument to boot. “Thank you.”

She met his eyes. “Have you looked into changing his birth certificate to include your name?”

Surprised by her question, he searched her face. “Would you be all right with that?”

“Your name should be on his birth certificate, Peter.”

“You know how much it would mean to me?”

“Yes.”

Of course she knew. “Jessie, I’d put your name on his birth certificate, too, if I could.”

Tears sparkled in her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Never taking his gaze from hers, he reached out and laid his free hand along her jaw.

Her eyes widened invitingly.

He smiled, even if he had forgotten how to breathe. Kissing her the only thing on his mind, he moved closer.

She pulled back just enough to discourage him.

Smile dying, he took his hand from her face. “I like you, Jessie.”

“I like you, too.” She swallowed. “As a friend.”

“What about more than friends?”

She took her hand from his. “We need to think of Jake.”

“Always.” But she wasn’t making sense. “I don’t see how more than friendship between us could possibly be a bad thing for him, though, do you?”

She frowned. “You have to be kidding.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Given our situation? Peter, we could never walk away from each other when things didn’t work out.”

“That’s pretty pessimistic, don’t you think? Who says things won’t work out?”

“Experience.”

“You’re referring to your broken engagement?”

She gave a nod.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

She shook her head and pointed to Jake lying on the floor singing to his car. “He’s going to fall asleep. We need to take him to the motel.”