Infinite Sacrifice (32 page)

I go to his side.

“Water”—he
coughs—“water.”

I reach for the bucket by the bed
and see stagnant water.

“I will be right back.” I take the
bucket to the well out back and pull up a fresh bucket. He thanks
me after he has a few gulps but soon erupts in more coughing and
blood spittle. There is a terrible gangrenous smell coming from
inside him.

“Oliver! Rowan! Christiana!” he
moans.

“The children are safe.”

He stirs. “You have seen
them?”

“Yes, and they are free from
plague, happy, and being cared for at the abbey.”

He relaxes and whispers, “I
searched everywhere for them.” He coughs again for minutes. “Tell
them that I am sorry.”

I nod and administer last rites.
When I offer him the sacramental bread, he shakes his head, unable
to swallow, and convulses again.

He dies before dawn. Covering him
with a shroud, I tuck a coin in his hand for burial. I take a black
flag from a vacant house to signal Ulric. Instead of returning to
the abbey, I walk down to the river to watch the sunrise. A cold
breeze blows, and I pull my hands within the fluted sleeves of my
cloak. The giant sun breaks the horizon with an ember glow, causing
everything around me to burn red. Even the river shimmers crimson.
Something catches my eye—objects drifting on the surface, breaking
the reflection of the water in flashes. I bring my hand up to
shield the glare, and I’m horrified to see dozens of naked,
bloated, blue bodies floating down the Thames.

I turn to walk home as someone
screams out, shattering the silence of the city, “The Apocalypse is
here!”

He might just be right.

Chapter 11

I have a fever by the time I return
to the abbey. Emeline makes sure I am comfortable.

“Keep the children away from
me.”

She nods. By the middle of the
night, the coughing begins. The other sick shush me as I cough
uncontrollably. Feeling embarrassed of the terrible hacking, I pull
myself up, walk out the back, and cough, hunched over in the
entranceway. By morning, I’m coughing up blood. I’m so tired I
begin to sleep through my coughing. When I open my eyes again, I’m
shocked to see a familiar form kneeling on my makeshift
bed.

“Hadrian?”

He reaches into his bag for
something. “Lucky for you, I came when I did.”

He holds his apple up by his mouth.
I laugh weakly, thinking about how silly I must have looked to
those dying with that apple up my nose, but end in a coughing fit
that shakes my whole body.

“Here, take this.” He holds out the
green, sparkling vial.

“You are going to waste that on
me?”

“Waste it? Do not be foolish,
Elizabeth.”

Daniel comes burning a bunch of
juniper and rosemary over my head, and when Hadrian sees his Jewish
hat, he barks, “Get away from her!”

I put my hand up for him to stop as
I cough up in my rag. He bends down and pours the vial in my mouth.
As I swallow, it feels like I’m gulping down sand.

“Water,” I croak.

Emeline is right there to give me
some. She looks distrustful of having Hadrian there.

“What is a Jew doing in a house of
God?” Hadrian demands.

“Saving lives,” Emeline answers.
“He is a surgeon.”

“A barber surgeon is not the same
as a surgeon. They cut hair and pull teeth, for Christ’s
sake.”

Emeline steps forward
authoritatively in response to Hadrian’s cursing.

“Daniel has been very helpful,” I
try but cough yet again.

“I see those children survived
after all.” He settles back down.

I nod
thinking
, with no help from
you
.

“When you get better, we will take
them back with us to Windsor. Your mother is sick with worry. Your
place is with us.”

I suddenly feel worried that I will
survive. I don’t want to go anywhere. This is our home now. I ask
Hadrian to go and fetch me clean rags and hand him the bloodied
ones for cleaning. He holds them far away as he takes them
outside.

“Emeline!”

She’s at my side. “Yes.”

“You must promise me something very
important.”

“I will see if I can, after you
tell me what it is.” She smiles a little smile.

“Hadrian cannot take the children
if something happens to me.”

She agrees immediately. “I can
promise that.”

Hadrian is back now and hands me
the clean rags.

Within hours I’m struggling to
breathe. Malkyn gives me my last rites as Hadrian sits next to me.
Emeline and Daniel stand in the far background.

“Tell the children that I love
them,” I cough out. “Make sure they know their father was searching
for them.”

Malkyn promises.

“He wanted them to know he was
sorry.”

I hear the cries of Rowan and
Oliver coming from the chapel as they run to me, throwing their
arms around me and wetting me with their tears. I feel warmth
spread all throughout my body from their embrace. I let out one
life-long breath and close my eyes.

• = Not present in that
  life
  

Epilogue

“Come back,” Zachariah says out of
the foggy distance, bringing me back to the chair on the beach. I
look over to see Zachariah still holding my arm, the waves
endlessly rolling in.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

I don’t say anything for some
time.

After some silence, Zachariah tries
again. “I’m here to help you make sense of everything.”

I finally release the breath I’ve
held inside me since the viewing. “I don’t know what to say. This
isn’t what I expected at all. I don’t even know where to
start.”

I suck in a heavy breath of ocean
air, charged with salty ions created from so much forceful motion
of water and wind.

“First, we need a little change of
scenery,” he says with a smile.

Instantly, we’re sitting in the
front seat of an old blue Chevy truck. The smell of damp beach
blankets, salty fishing rods, and warm vinyl engulfs me.

“Isn’t this better?” He pushes back
on the benchseat next to me, the old leather crackling in
protest.

He leans over to check. “Are you
sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, but it’s getting harder to
watch with each life.” The tears roll down my cheeks and I wipe my
nose on my sleeve, only to see him offering a tissue.

“Because you’re starting to care
about people.”

I nod. “Who are they in my life
now?”

“I can’t tell you that. You will
have to see them progress as time goes on. It’s important to see
each of their journeys as well.”

“I think I can guess, though,” I
say, remembering Ellie’s scar and Finn’s familiar slight gap in his
teeth. I knew they’d been with me since the beginning.

“Maybe this will make you feel
better.”

I open my eyes to torrential rain
hitting the Chevy; a thunderstorm rumbles a safe distance
away.

“I love storms, especially when I’m
crying.”

“I’ve only known you a few thousand
years.”

His tight smile warms me. Simply
being near him makes me feel better. We are both quiet for a moment
while we watch the rain obscure the view out the windshield. I take
in the leathery, musty smell of the rusty car and notice the
windows begin to fog up around us.

I dab my eyes and clear my throat.
“So am I finished? Can I see my family now?”

“Oh, there’s more to see yet before
you’re ready to move on.”

“Move on to another life?” I’m
afraid of his answer.

“You will—” He put one slender
finger in the air to stop himself, and with a wink, he adds,
“Almost got me there.” He shifts his weight. “Let’s just say move
on and leave it at that.”

“How many more lives do I
have?”