Indulge (20 page)

At that thought, Arrick popped into my mind, as did my longing for him. He had been gone and I didn’t know when or if he was coming back. Maybe if he had been here during the attack things would have ended differently.

Suddenly, Ana took off at a sprint toward the portal that still billowed powerfully on the hillside. She was going to get away and my instincts were screaming through me to stop her. Wild-eyed, I looked to Bennett, our eyes connecting for an instant. I tried to say good-bye, but the words wouldn’t come. I couldn’t have accomplished everything I had this night if it weren’t for him. I knew I would never be able to pay him back.

“Claire! No!”

I bolted upright, my hand still clasped around my neck and ran after Ana. Bennett’s scream ripped through the air after me, but I wouldn’t turn back. Tears stung my eyes, knowing I was abandoning him on the hillside, but I prayed he would be safe. I prayed they would all be safe.

Ana leaped through the portal in a single bound and I was hot on her heels. It began to close and I quickened my pace. If it closed on me and I didn’t make it through I would fly over the edge of the hillside and crash into the rocks below. I may be a vampire, but I was fairly certain I wouldn’t survive a fall like that.

I held my breath and made the final leap into the portal. Complete darkness consumed me and my body thrashed violently. I couldn’t tell what direction I was going, yet the sheer pressure of the speed felt like it was breaking every bone in my body. Screams echoed all around me in the endless darkness. Had I made the wrong choice? What if I wasn’t able to travel through the portals? I could be heading right for Baal’s lair, giving him exactly what he wanted on a silver platter. How could I be so stupid?

The disorientation was making me nauseous. It was so dark I couldn’t tell if my eyes were opened or closed. Fear hurtled through me. How much longer would this go on?

I wrapped my arms around myself and thought of my parents. The image of their broken bodies came to me, but I pushed it away, focusing instead on when I’d first laid eyes on them, their faces so full of love. I thought of Robin and her angelic face, of my old friend Liz, and then of Dmitry and Arrick.

I cared for them both deeply and despite everything that had happened I prayed I would see them again. I wished that Arrick would have been in Naos when everything happened. I wished that I had never been attacked at Palace Noire and I could still be dancing on the ballroom floor with Dmitry.

My life was nothing like what I had thought it would be and as regret and sadness tore through my remaining strength, the darkness was devoured by unyielding, burning light. I was blinded by the searing heat of it as I slammed onto something hard. I thought I heard something crack, and the smell of coppery blood answered my question. I didn’t know for sure, but I was certain it was my blood. Whether from my neck or from whatever I had hit my head on, I was definitely bleeding.

I tried to open my eyes, but my vision was blurry. It was bright and cloudy figures moved swiftly in the distance. Where was I? I couldn’t stay here. “Get up,” I told myself in a whisper. I rolled over to my side, my joints cracking and popping. The smell of ash filled my senses. I blinked widely trying to clear my vision. I looked at my hand and focus hard. Soft, pale flesh surrounded by black. I brought my hand to my face and inspected the blackness that covered it.

I sat up, and the brittle ground crunched beneath me. Puffs of ash floated into the air as I stirred. The black ground circled the area I sat in, and for a moment I didn’t understand. Could the portal have done this? It burned a large circle into the ground around me. The power of those portals must have been stronger than I thought. I could still feel the heat of it seeping into every pore of my body.

I didn’t understand why I was so warm until I was able to focus on what was outside my circle of blackened earth. It was green. Lush, green grass. The drops of morning dew sparkled in the rays of the morning sun. Never had I seen something so beautifully, horrifying in my entire life.

I didn’t know what exactly would happen if I was out in sunlight for too long, but I didn’t want to find out. I held back the urge to vomit as images of my body burning alive flashed through my head. I didn’t know where I would go, but anywhere was better than here. All I needed was some place out of direct sunlight. That would be the best I could do for now.

I began running as fast as my legs could carry me in no specific direction what-so-ever. I just began to run. The shadowy figures in the distance were growing closer but no clearer. I knew I should be wary of others. What if they were members of The Dark? No burning warning came from the stones at my chest, but I kept running nonetheless.

I dared to glance at my arms and saw that they were covered in black. Was it from the burnt earth I landed on or was my flesh burning off my body? My heart beat harder. Wilder with every step. Adrenaline. My adrenaline had to be kicking in. My body’s last resort to keep me going. No part of me wanted for this to be the end.

A powerful emotion slammed into me, knocking me into the ground as my ragged breath flew from my lungs. I scrambled to my feet, glimpsing a huge dark figure standing massively before. It was just yards away. I crawled on all fours, unable to stand upright. Dirt filled my nails as I frantically clawed at the earth.

I dove into the shadows of the colossal figure, feeling only minute relief from the sun’s rays. The grass was still cool in this shady place and it soothed my burning skin. Tears filled my eyes, seeming to wash the smear from my vision, and I stared upward at the darkness above me.

I was under a tree. The biggest tree I had ever seen. Its thick, leafy branches allowed very little light to penetrate its lush canopy. If I felt I could move I would have hugged that tree right then, but instead I laid at its roots and stared upward at it. Nyx might have been the Goddess of Night, but this tree had to have been a gift from her.

“Thank you, Nyx,” I wheezed through my burning throat. I was in so much pain, I was so tired and I was so very hungry. If only Nyx had made this tree edible. Perhaps it had sap made of blood.

I laughed widly, I was becoming delirious. My ears were ringing, but I ignored it. Using the roots of the tree as handholds, I pulled myself toward the trunk. Toward the small semblance of safety I had. I had to keep telling myself that everything was going to be okay. I was going to survive. Somehow, I was going to survive. I had to.

Resting my back against the hard bark of my tree – yes, I had decided that from here on out, this would be my tree – and closing my eyes, I breathed in its earthy smell. In some way it calmed me. Reminding me of happier memories. If I didn’t make it, at least I would die in peace. That had to bring me some comfort. Right?

When I opened my eyes, I saw another shadowy figure some way off. The brightness was still enough to inhibit my sight. Maybe it wasn’t a figure; maybe it was just a tall bush blowing in the wind. Was it windy? I couldn’t tell. The trees branches didn’t seem to be moving, but then again the ringing in my ears seemed to be canceling out all sounds of the world around me.

The emotion that had hit me still lingered within and I clutched at my chest. I grabbed at the stones that rested between my breasts, but it wasn’t them. They were cold against my skin, having lost the heat they once possessed. I realized, somehow these stones were connected to me and if I didn’t make it, neither would they. My heart ached, for them and everyone I thought I was letting down.

Yet that ache didn’t compare to the emotion that still clung to me. It was familiar, but somehow alien. The shadowy figure was growing closer, but still too bathed in sunlight for me to recognize. My ears rung louder and louder, making me want to scream.

I hugged myself tight, wanting to melt into the tree and hide forever when the ringing finally stopped. I sighed into my knees. A twig snapped, but I didn’t look up. I felt like I could sleep now and that’s all I wanted to do.

“I found her!” a voice screamed out.

Still I didn’t move. I desperately tried to embrace the sleep that seemed so sweet - but that voice. I knew that voice.

With pain, I drew up my head, and every emotion I had fought to withhold spilled out in a powerful torrent. Hot tears streamed down my face and I sobbed uncontrollably as I laid my eyes on the beautifully handsome face that ran toward me. It was full of love and concern, and in that moment I knew it would be okay. Whether Arrick had found me or I had found him, I didn’t know - but either way, I could die happy.

“Dear Goddess, Claire!” Arrick ran to my side, tears threatening to fall down his strong features. I could feel his desire to hold me, but also the fear he felt just from the sight of me. I didn’t want to know what I looked like. Twice now he had run to my side as I hovered on the edge of life and death.

“Where am I? How did you find me?”

“I felt you, Claire. I knew you were nearby and that you needed me. What happened to you?” His questions were full of worry and concern. I watched as he yanked off his shirt and laid it over me. I didn’t feel like I had the strength to answer, so I just smiled weakly up at him. “Stay with me. Don’t close your eyes, okay?”

I wanted to nod at him and tell him I would stay with him forever, but I wasn’t sure if I was able to perform the actions as much as I wanted to. I willed my body to reply, but I don’t think it responded. I felt like I was in a dream and only slightly awake.

Before I knew it I was wrapped in a thick blanket and Arrick was running. I was in his arms and I felt like I was flying. Did the portal bring me to Arrick? Could I control the portal like I could control the stones? That was a scary thought. I had so many questions, but I had no strength to ask them.

We were inside a building, Arrick still running, voices were shouting all around me, but my eyes only saw Arrick.

He placed me on something soft and shouted orders at the people around him, but I couldn’t understand him. Was I going deaf? Maybe this is what death truly felt like. It wasn’t painful or scary. It was just peaceful fading.

Phantom sensations of hands touching my entire body lingered on the edge of my consciousness. Warm heat filled my body, traveling, seeping through every vein, and still I lay motionless, staring at him. He was fading away, yet his eyes were still clear, still bright.

His eyes would be the last thing I saw on this earth. They were beautiful and revealed the strength within his soul. I silently prayed that I could hold onto that feeling even beyond the grave. I had never put much thought into what happened when a person died, but if I could take one thing with me it would be that I hoped I could hold onto the few moments of true happiness I had found in my short life.

Finding my true parents, having amazing friendships with Liz and Robin, being able to experience young love as my heart swelled for Arrick more than it ever had before. These were the memories I wanted to take with me and I held onto them as dearly as I could, as the rest of the world seemed to wilt away.

My eyes fluttered open to small slits. Soft candlelight glowed warmly, and my eyelashes broke it apart. The light seemed brighter than it really was. My vision was no longer fading and immediately adjusted to my surroundings. I knew this place.

I was in my room, in my bed. Not at the Château but at the Palace.

My eyes searched the room and found Arrick. His body was slumped in a chair beside my bed. His breath was steady. Sweat beaded his brow. Fresh, pink scars stretched across his wrists, and I understood. He had fed me. I knew how close to death I had been. He must have sacrificed so much to save me. I could only imagine the great amount of blood I would have needed.

I let out a small breath and a familiar rumble reacted from the foot of the bed. Louie.

He cried out in concerned meows, running onto my chest to begin an immediate job of padding and head rubbing.

“Louie,” I breathed tearfully. “My big boy. I’m so glad you’re safe.” I rubbed his dirty fur affectionately. Other than a few patches of sizzled hair, he wasn’t much worse for the wear. I sent a silent prayer up to Nyx for this small miracle and turned my eyes toward my sleeping Blood Mate.

“Oh, Arrick,” I whispered, placing my hand softly on his. Louie growled at having to share my attention.

He roused in sudden surprise, his eyes immediately falling on my face. He let out a relieved sigh. His smile was full of utter joy and pain. “You’re alive.”

I smiled back at him. “Thanks to you.” I pointed to his wrists. “What happened?”

He leaned forward, grabbing my hand in his and stroking it with his thumbs. “I was hoping you could tell me. I was here at the palace and suddenly our connection slammed into me like a bullet. I felt how close you were and the pain you were in.” He swallowed hard, his grasp on my hand growing tighter. “What happened to you?”

“We were attacked by The Dark. They came sooner than we thought. We weren’t prepared, Arrick.” His eyes fixated on my mine and I felt his mind swirling with questions. “I don’t know the extent of the damage, but I know my parents made it. I saved them.” Tears soared through my eyes again as my words released the depth of my emotions like a wound that wouldn’t heal.

“What else?” Worry twinged in his voice as he sensed I was holding back.

“I met him. Baal.” The name tasted bitter in mouth.

Arrick nodded like he already knew the answer. “Yes, he was here too.” I shuddered in shock and panic filled me. I opened my mouth to ask what happened, but Arrick rose his finger to silence me. “When I got here I watched in the shadows, trying to get the information we needed to discover when - and if - The Dark would attack. I wasn’t convinced that Nicolae, or anyone for that matter could be trusted.”

“I don’t think…” I began, but another raise of Arrick’s finger silenced me once more. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t think Nicolae was in league with the leader of The Dark. Nicolae might have been a bad guy, but Baal definitely wasn’t the type to want a partner. That would mean sharing power and that was certainly something he didn’t want to do. In fact, I guessed he was quite the opposite. He wanted to take all the power. From everyone.