Independence: #2 Angel (3 page)

“Not so much work. I help out with some things. Sometimes I tend bar; manage now and then if Master Gabriel is busy,” he decided he’d begin working the proper language into their conversation and gauge her reactions. “I monitor the floor or play rooms and even give demonstrations now and then. It’s not my day job, though.”

“Prosecuting attorney,” she repeated without looking at him. “Who knew,” she murmured at the thought of him walking into court like he was dressed now.

“I’d say we get time off for good behavior, but I’d hate to see you crack a smile,” Colin was positive he saw her mouth twitch. A very sexy full mouth that made him think what a shame it was she kept it restricted to so little use.

“If you’re friends with…” she hesitated slightly. She knew the protocols. She’d read books and even browsed the internet when Bailey had talked about the club with her and Patsy. “With Master Gabriel, and you’re staff, why aren’t you busy?”

“I am. I’m having a conversation with a beautiful woman about giving her a tour of the facilities.”

“It’s a sex club,” she said tonelessly.

Colin leaned back and stretched his long legs out, his hands up and cupping the back of his head as he followed her stare and thought about her statement.

“I suppose that’s one way to see it. It’s a place where people can meet up and, if it works out, have sex that, at least if they remain in the club, comes with strict safety rules,” he said carefully. “It’s a place where people don’t have to worry about being judged, though a lot do, just because it’s human nature to question our place in society and what society believes is acceptable. It’s a place where a person can explore their sexuality with others. It’s a place to get a drink or two and dance and feel safe. You know the club safe word because you’d have read the short list of rules before coming inside. If you felt less than safe, you could shout the word and have half a dozen security people here to maintain your sense of safety within seconds.”

Colin watched his words and the reaction she was having to them. She’d pulled her lower lip between her teeth, worrying it in thought. Hands that had been lying flat over the belt of her jeans, had wrapped around her middle and held on. He kept the mantra playing inside his head that she wasn’t accustomed to this level of communication. From what he’d learned, she was unaccustomed to affection or positive attention of any kind. Another mantra he had to keep in mind.

“So I think calling it a sex club rather limits the possibilities,” he gave a little pause. “And something tells me you’re a woman with a mind filled with imaginative possibilities.”

“Lawyers are very good with words,” she said simply, her attention all his when a deep, husky laugh broke from inside him. He hadn’t moved. Still leaned against the wall next to her, but his laugh was good. Nice. She missed that with her friends. But she didn’t have male friends. She had friends with boyfriends. She didn’t want to hurt them and she worried they’d come to expect things from her she wasn’t able to give them.

“There’s that sad face again,” he said softly, fighting the natural urge in him to stroke her face or just touch her shoulder. The thought of his fingers sifting through the uneven pixie haircut made him pull in a slow, deep breath. “What made you sad, pet?”

“I’m fine, thank you. Must be gas or something,” she said with a shrug, turning her face a little more toward the dancers.

“This is a strange place to come if you’re not feeling social.”

“Look,” Angel sat upright and clapped her hands on her knees. She pulled in a long, slow breath and faced him. “I don’t want to break any rules. I don’t want to…to offend you. You look like and better still, you talk like a nice person. Articulate, with a sense of humor. And even if you don’t look like a lawyer, somehow I can see you up there twisting some other attorney into knots. So that’s all good,” she said with a nod. “And you aren’t wearing a wedding ring like the jerk on the dance floor who wanted to cop feels and claim it was dancing. But I’m really, honestly not a good person to be around.”

“How about a drink at the bar?” Colin let another laugh free at the genuinely stunned look on her face. “I heard every single word you said, I promise. That’s a harsh assessment of yourself and I think you’re wrong,” he straightened up slowly and turned his knees toward her. She had chosen a corner.
Bad move, gorgeous
, he thought and leaned a little closer.

Whether it was bravado or fear, she didn’t move unless you count the flare of defiance in her eyes, the stiffening of her spine and slightest tilt to her chin. There was a look in her eyes that warned him not to dare while another flash and dilation told him there was a spark of a thrill shooting through her.

Colin kept his back straight and leaned in another couple inches until his face was near her shoulder.

“You smell like sugar and chocolate,” he said quietly, his voice low and level. He smiled when she had to lean in a little just to hear him. “Hmm…and maybe just a hint of cinnamon. Those are interesting scents to find in this place.”

“You should back up,” she managed to whisper. She wanted to hold her breath but knew it wouldn’t stop him from sniffing at her, so that move was irrational.

“Do you feel threatened, pet?” Colin kept his voice smooth, calm and his eyes locked on hers. She didn’t budge. Didn’t pull away. But her pulse was hammering and her breathing had become very fast.

“I…” Angel stopped and for the first time in ages had to think to find the words for what she was feeling. But it definitely was not threatened. And she should. She always felt threatened. He was large. Tall and lean with eyes that seemed to see more than she wanted out in the world.

“Honesty, pet. You’ll always be honest with me, even if it hurts.”

“No. Not threatened at all.” He had one of those voices that hypnotized, she thought suddenly, shaking her head and ordering her body to move. Only it wasn’t listening and other parts of her didn’t seem to mind that he was close or that he smelled like leather and ale.

“But you’re not ready to talk about what you are feeling,” he guessed easily, accepting the quick nod of her head. “Our communication must be verbal, pet. We both have to know the answers and responses aren’t being misunderstood. I don’t want to guess incorrectly and I do want your trust.”

She looked at him for a long pause, drawing in a slow, steadying breath.

“I’ve never spoke about…”

“It’s because I’m a man.”

“Maybe…alright, yes…yes, it is…”

Colin raised his hand slowly, watching and waiting for her reaction and adjusting to each tensed breath she took until he could touch the side of her face.

“I’m sorry for the males in your past,” he told her, knowing it wouldn’t be the last time he apologized for the men in her life. “When you’re ready, you’ll tell me. For now, how about that tour? I can answer any questions you might have if you’re interested in learning more about BDSM.”

A tour
, her mind shouted.
It will get you off the bench and he’ll be busy talking and not staring at you like you’re dinner
. Okay, good plan.

“A tour,” her mouth said, about to stand up when his hands took both her wrists and held them. Tightly. She pulled but he didn’t release her. She felt her breath catch and refuse to flow from her lungs.

“Shhh…it’s alright, pet. I promise you, I’ll never do anything you’re not okay with,” Colin waited until she stopped trying to pull her hands free and she took a deep breath. Then he slid his hands down to take both her palms in his. He let them rest in his hands, her palms aimed up and neither of them moving for a long minute. “It’s not so bad. I watched you on the dance floor. Are the panic attacks from being touched?”

A flicker of alarm burst and she tried pulling back but his fingers tightened and just held her in place.
No one touches you ever again or I’ll kill them and you for allowing it to happen
, her father had told her all those years ago. She lay in the hospital bed staring out the window while he lectured her about her failed marriage and relationship with the boy who’d forced her to have sex with him.

But it had all been her fault. Even the loss of her baby.

“I have to go,” she whispered. “I should go home now.”

“Am I hurting you?” But he saw that answer in her eyes. “Are you afraid of me?” Again he saw the answer and frowned a little, thinking over things Bailey had shared with him. “You’re afraid for me…” her body gave the tiniest of jumps. “Now that’s a new feeling for me, pet. I’m pretty capable of defending myself. I work out with several friends in martial arts and even kick boxing. And I grew up on the streets, so we don’t exactly play fair when dealing with assholes.”

Now that comment sparked more than a hint of fear that had his fingers gently massaging the thumping pulse at her wrists.

“What was on your mind a few seconds ago, pet?” He thought back to his words. “The panic attacks are from being touched,” he repeated slowly, studying her face and the tension in her body. “What do you believe will happen to you if you’re touched?”

“He’ll kill you…and me…for allowing it,” her head shook adamantly and she tried again to pull her hands free. “Please…”

“Whoever he is…is a bastard and worse,” he said softly, confidently and calmly. “He’s not here, pet. It’s just you and me. All right?” When she nodded, he waited, one brow arched patiently.

“Yes…yes…I’m okay.”

“Has anyone bothered you in the club?”

She shook her head.

“I need to hear you talk to me, pet. I don’t want misunderstandings.”

“No. No one’s bothered me…well, the one guy but one of the monitors told him to go back and read the rules. It’s actually been…” she thought for a minute, her gaze focused on the hands holding her palms.

“You feel comfortable here,” Colin said calmly.

“Mostly.”

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” Colin raised her palms, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Look at me, pet. Talk to me.”

“I don’t understand why you won’t leave,” she finally said, her voice low and doleful.

“You don’t understand why you haven’t been able to scare me off as easily as you have others throughout your life,” he corrected mildly, watching his words play back in her gaze.

“I’m not worth your time.”

“That’s quite a derisive statement,” he said with a slight frown. “Have I told you that?”

“No…of course not…”

Colin felt the bristles inside him at the parroted words and wasn’t sure why. He should have been prepared for this line. “You understand the terminology of the club? What a dom is…what a sub is…?”

“Yes…I think so.” She’d done a lot of reading on the topic since talking to Bailey about her adventures.

“And I believe you’re intelligent enough to recognize which one I am,” he grinned when a tint of rose dusted over her cheeks. “So what I’m going to tell you is something you can take to heart and not forget. Forgetting earns you a punishment.” He waited patiently for a quiet minute before speaking again. She’d drawn in a sharp breath at that comment but he wasn’t sure of the reason. Not yet. But he would know. “I believe you are worth my time. I believe you’ve been fed a lot of lies that you’ve taken in as truth. If I believe it, it must be true and I will not tolerate you questioning my judgment. Do you understand?”

“Why?” She breathed the word, trying to be casual and pull her hands free only to be reminded that his grip wasn’t giving up their prize. She sighed and recognized the calmly arched eyebrow. She didn’t know what a punishment would be for questioning him. She knew how to call the whole thing to a stop. If she had to. “Why me?”

“That’s probably a question for the mystical seers in the world. I honestly don’t know. But I’m astute enough to trust my instincts that tell me it would be a very good thing for us both.”

“That’s arrogant,” she wasn’t sure where the normal bravado had gone but was relieved that a bit of it was still inside her. A mild confusion had set in when she’d done her reading, trying to separate the woman who was submissive from the woman who’d taken charge of her life. Or had she? Weren’t her father and brother’s still exerting their control and commands upon her because of their physical strengths?

“It’s part of the persona,” he agreed with a grin. “Alright…why you…how about because there’s a whole world out there for you to explore and I don’t like seeing fear in your eyes. They’re far too pretty for that,” he replied, lowering her palms when she kept her head up. “I’m a crappy dancer so how would you like a drink and a tour?”

But she didn’t move, just stared for a quiet minute. He’d lowered her hands to rest on his knees, his fingers only loosely around her wrists.

“Did my friend send you over?”

Colin wasn’t going to lie to her. “Actually, she worked very hard to keep me away from you. I’m just stubborn by nature. She’s worried about you. She said you’re pushing her and Patsy away and she doesn’t like it.”

“It’s safer for them that way,” she stared at the thumbs stroking over the blue veins in her wrists. They were strong hands. Male hands, she thought with a tremor she couldn’t control. “What did she tell you?”

“Your name; that you’re a baker, which accounts for why you smell deliciously edible,” he grinned at the sudden influx of color to her cheeks. He amended his own decision, wanting to keep her friends with Bailey. “I prefer to uncover other information on my own and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize your trust and friendship. I’ve a quirk that way and somehow the idea of slowly unwrapping all your secrets seems like a project I’d savor.”

“I shouldn’t have come here,” her gaze wandered past the dance floor this time.

“Why did you?” Colin let his palms slide along her bare arms, thumbs drawing slow, lazy circles over her soft skin. His mind had already begun formulating a path of sensitizing her to touch, drawing her into his world and teaching her.

“I think I was hiding…or wanted to hide…or just not be for a little bit,” she lifted her chin and met his eyes. “I am not submissive.”

“Are you so sure?”

“If I was, I’d be controlled by…by my father. And I refuse to ever allow that to happen. I’ll die first.” She made an effort to pull back her wrist, the faded silver scar suddenly burning. His gaze went to where his hand held her in place, his thumb stroking the old scar.