In the Wind (18 page)

Jace

Chug-a-Lug

Am I a different man now? Does facing my demons make me reborn? Or am I lying to myself as usual?

Who the fuck cares?
I decide I am who I am and analyzing myself isn't much better than hiding from myself. I need to feel more, think less. Seems like bad advice, but being outside my head feels good.
So, yeah, I'm a new man.

Walking into the Hidey-hole, I sense the change in others to my newfound freedom from over-thinking. They move out of my way faster, avoid eye contact more, and seem overall less enthusiastic to be around me. Hell, if I knew I could keep people at a distance just by being me, I'd have embraced my inner asshole years ago.

Sawyer walks with me, but her head is somewhere else. I'm guessing Ellsberg. Stubborn to a fault, she refuses to admit she's homesick. A part of her really does think starting over in Last Dollar is her future. A bigger part knows everyone she loves besides me is back in her hometown. For her to accept what her heart wants, she'll need an out.

I'll be the one to give it to her, but not today. She isn't ready to admit her mistakes. Not when she's embracing our new reality. Sawyer needs the world to work by very specific rules. Rule number one is she might not always be right, but she's never wrong.

Her hair having blown loose during the ride, Sawyer struggles to corral all her curls back into the ponytail. Catching me watching her, she smiles.

I don't return her smile, yet Sawyer knows I want her. Empowered by this knowledge, she returns to fixing her hair. I'm glad her eyes are off me. Nine months without her touch has made me crazy with need.

Of course, horny isn't the right mood when I'm about to meet with a killer. I need to dig deep into myself to find the ugliness that makes me scary. Lawman is a threat, so I'll have to wait to nuzzle my lips in Sawyer's wild hair.

My expectations for Lawman are all wrong. I imagine a huge guy like Saint or a cold bastard like Judd. At the very least, he should own the room like Cooper. Instead, I'm presented with a cowboy standing at the doorway.

Packing a gun at his hip and a rifle on his back, Lawman is plenty big enough. He even has Cooper's blond hair and dark eyes. I think his smile throws me off. No badass should smile so easily.

Removing his wide beige cowboy hat, he places it gently on a chair before taking a seat across from me.

"Do I call you Lawman, or do you have a real name?" I ask.

Lawman shows no fear at my growl, yet flinches the minute Colbie howls his name. He sighs, clearly resigned to her annoying habit.

"Lawman is fine," he says, taking the shot of scotch the perky blonde waitress brings him. "This is more a formality than a genuine meeting. The McLaughlins explained very clearly why you're here."

"So why have this chat?"

As I make idle conversation, I force myself to imagine this man putting a gun to Sawyer's head. I immediately hate Lawman, just enough for him to feel the change in me. I sense a shift in him too. We're no longer two men shooting the shit. We're killers holding our ground.

"I don't know how things run in Kentucky, but I'm assuming you suffer from a lower turnover rate than we do around here. Between the cartels and the various criminal groups, we're in a constant state of flux."

"None of that means much to me."

"Possibly, it doesn't need to," Lawman says, downing the scotch. He sets the shot glass on the table gently, allowing his fingers to circle the rim. "Or possibly, a man in your position ought to be able to feel the heat on his back."

"I can't tell if that was a threat."

"I don't threaten people," Lawman says, smiling in a way that makes me believe he's telling the truth. "Too many people make threats these days. How many guys playing tough guy end up pissing their pants the minute trouble arrives? I'd say a majority of them. No, threats are a waste of time."

"But I should worry."

"Between us, just two men with no particular allegiance to the powers in this part of the world, I'd say you should worry. People die exceptionally easy around here. I don't particularly think anyone is interested in targeting you or the sister of a club president. People aren't stupid, but they can be sloppy. The McLaughlins cause problems. The Deadly Dogs cause problems. There are a whole lot of other groups in a hundred mile radius who cause problems. You and Sawyer Johansson could easily become collateral damage."

"So we should run?"

"No, you should duck," he says, standing up and taking his hat. "Or learn to use human shields like the McLaughlins. People take shots at them all the time."

Leaning back, I cross my arms. "This felt like a pointless chat."

"I get paid for showing up here and give you a warning. They didn't specifically tell me what to warn you about. I know your club isn't treading into enemy territory. I figured I'd use our chat to say what I wish someone would have warned me about."

Lawman adjusts his hat and glances around. "These people are nuts, so watch your back."

Watching us, Sawyer's always been protected by the Reapers. Her father was a killer. Her brothers are killers. Her sister once tasered a local cop. Most of her friends are married to killers. Threats are quickly eliminated in Ellsberg. They're eliminated the same way here except we're the threats in Last Dollar.

Returning my focus to Lawman, I say, "I won't claim we're leaving, but I can tell you this'll likely be our last chat."

Lawman gives me a nod before curling a finger for Bodie to join him. She leaves her chair immediately, and I frown at her obedience. Before I can wonder when she lost her balls, she walks around the bar to say hello to ten people before finally arriving in front of Lawman.

"Nice hat," Colbie says, grabbing it from Lawman while he looks at her sister.

"Snickers has gone missing," Lawman says to Bodie.

Bodie shrugs. "I hope he killed himself in a really painful way."

"Do you happen to know where he might be?"

"Which chunk?" she asks, grinning big for him while Colbie stands on my table and howls.

Lawman snaps for Colbie to return his hat. This command spurs her to jump on another table and howl again.

"I didn't think that would work, but a man has to try," he tells me. "So, Bodie, if you happen to come upon Snickers, and he's still breathing, help the poor fuck out, will ya? His mom is worried."

"I seriously doubt she cares."

"Fine, his club is worried. You shouldn't want them wondering if your houseguests are the reason he's missing."

"I'm not even an itty bitty titty scared, but A-plus for effort."

Bodie walks away. Colbie follows while throwing Lawman's hat at him. He returns the hat to his head and adjusts it slightly.

"Visiting Last Dollar is always a pleasure," he says to me, and I hear the warning in his words.

Lawman leaves with as much ease as he arrived. Joining Sawyer at the bar, I hope she realizes our home is a thousand miles away in shark-infested water where we don't play the role of bait.

Sawyer

Tall, Tall Trees

Even after weeks with the McLaughlins, I have no idea what most of their errands involve besides driving around and talking to people. Never do I sense the conversations have anything to do with business. In fact, most of their meetings sound like gossip.

With Bodie and Jace running an errand elsewhere, I'm stuck with Colbie who hasn't heard a story she can't make longer. Boredom setting in, I doze off in Colbie's SUV.

"What do you normally do during the summer?" she asks after slamming the door and waking me.

"Swim, read by the pool, eat by the pool, and swim again."

"You live a complicated life, Miss Future Todds."

"I'm not changing my name."

Colbie snorts but says nothing. We finally arrive at the Hidey-hole where I'm able to sit under an air conditioning vent and drink a beer.

"I like chips," Colbie says to her dog.

"I think he already knows that."

Colbie studies me. "So you and Jace are happily ever after now?"

Nodding, I down half of another beer. "Even after all the bullshit and pain and more bullshit we've experienced, I'm happy when I'm with Jace. There's no explaining it except no other man will do. I hope you find that one day."

"I will. I'm too amazing not to."

"Funny."

"I'm an optimist. I believe in love and romance and happily ever after. It's why I knew you and Jace would stop your fussing and feuding long enough to get back together."

"You ever think you'll get a second chance with Darren?"

"Nope. He's been permanently corrupted. Shauna's dirty vagina was how God prevented me from making the mistake of loving Darren."

"Jace was with another woman."

"The sex wasn't good."

"How do you know that?"

"People talk."

Narrowing my eyes, I ask, "Is your house bugged?"

"I've never had a head for technology."

"Is that a yes?"

"It's not a no."

"Well," I mutter, shaking off my irritation, "I'm sure Darren didn't enjoy the sex with Shauna."

"Oh, yeah, he probably did. She's very talented. It's common knowledge around these parts."

"Maybe."

"Darren isn't my Jace. You can't force these things. Jace and you could fuck up things a million times, but eventually you'd find a way back to each other. Inside, you know he's the one. He knows you're the one. It's why the other chick's pussy wasn't any good."

"Can we not talk about the other girl's pussy?"

"Lies are for the weak, Sawyer. Don't be a pussy even if you have one." Colbie pauses to give her dog a wink "Wait, what was my point? Oh, yeah, some people are like your dad who fucked everyone in the world until he found the right woman. Others are like my dad who've fucked everyone in the world but never found his soul mate. I'm going to be like your pop and Bodie will be like my pop. I'll have an amazing life, and she'll be an old spinster."

"I'm sure she'll be thrilled."

"Bodie will make a great spinster. She likes cats and knows how to knit. Hell, she's nearly a spinster now. Some people just never enjoy a great love affair. You did. I will. Bodie will have many cats. Everyone wins."

"What about Zane? Do you think Yesenia is his soul mate?"

"Yes and no. Yes, because she's not a slut who steals things from the house. No, because she's boring and doesn't like horror movies. She doesn't even like thrillers. I kid you not, but she's never even seen
Die Hard
, for dick's sake. The chick is lame, but she'd be a good wife and mother. I'm torn between what I want in a sister-in-law, and what I want for my brother's wife."

"My brothers got lucky. My sister got even luckier. She's an idiot."

"Yeah, I always thought of you as a mini-Bailey."

"Fuck off."

"The truth is painful," she says, patting my hand.

"Well, since you like the truth, let me ask you this, lesser twin."

"Hey!"

"So very painful," I add, giving her a wink. "So how come you torment Lawman so much?"

"I torment everyone. It's how I bond with people."

"Look, I'm not denying you enjoy making people unhappy. It's clearly your gift. However, I'm guessing Lawman did you wrong somehow, and that's why you're especially annoying around him."

"No shit, he did me wrong," she says, leaning forward. "I'd tell you the sad tale, but I don't want to upset you when you're finally grooving from your recent love match. I know you're the sensitive sort."

"You know what, overgrown snatch? I'm going to grow some tougher skin and deal with my tears, just so you can tell me your stupid fucking story."

Colbie grins. "Well, alright then. A year or so ago, after my Darren tragedy, I had my wisdom teeth removed and was out of my mind on pain meds. I was as loopy as that loser I hit in the head with a brick. Well, being that loopy, there was only one thing I could do with myself. I came here to start trouble."

"A bitch has got to be a bitch. It's what we do."

Colbie never misses a beat. "I was messing with everyone that day. Old and young, ugly and beautiful, the ones who smelled like a fart explosions and those who didn't. I was really spreading my bitchiness around the bar. Now, I should mention that I'd never met Lawdoggie before."

Colbie sighs dramatically. "I guess, and mind you that I'm only repeating what people told me, but I guess I took his hat and humped it while dancing to a Toby Keith song. No harm, no foul, right? The hat survived our tryst after all. Anyway, I didn't see him for a few months. The next time I did, I was sober and normal."

Normal
for you, I think, but don't say.

"That was the day I realized something important about Lawpuppy. He's fucking hot," Colbie says as if shocked. "Not just okay looking hot like Jace either. No offense."

"Just okay, my ass. He's a fucking stallion."

"Whatever you have to tell yourself, princess. Can we focus on my object of horny now? Lawpuppy is so damn hot. I wanted to ride him and make babies with him, but he blew me off."

"Did you tell him that babies thing? Men don't respond well to you signing them up for Lamaze lessons before the first date."

"No, Miss Curly Curls, I was smooth that day."

"And that's why you torment him?"

"Fucking A," she grumbles, sighing again. "Sometimes, I wonder if maybe it's not the hat humping thing that turned him off. Maybe there's something about me that he finds unappealing. What if he finds me unattractive? Before my self-esteem takes a complete dump, I usually walk in front of a mirror or see Bodie. That's when I know it can't be a looks thing. He's just a fucking loser who must be punished for his bad taste."

"Sounds about right," I say. "Except maybe, and I'm just throwing this out, but maybe he likes you tormenting him. In fact, maybe he'd chase you if you stopped chasing him with your annoying howling."

Colbie's face twists into an expression that would scare the shit out of me if I hadn't grown up with Bailey.

"Did he pay you tell me that?" she asks suspicious. "Well, you can tell your little buddy that I will
never
stop tormenting him. In fucking fact, I plan to disrupt his funeral. Never forgive," she growls at me. "Never forget."

"It's not healthy to be so bitchy."

Colbie smirks. "That means a lot coming from you."

Tapping her beer against my glass, Colbie glances around the bar before returning her gaze to me.

"I'm gonna miss you," she says.

I open my mouth to ask what the fuck she's talking about, but we both know I'm only prolonging the inevitable.

"Part of me wants to stay here."

"Of course you do. Last Dollar is awesome. I have the money to move anywhere I want. The beach, the city, the mountains, anywhere in the world. This is where I want to be. I know the people. The stupid, ugly, brilliant, and beautiful. I know the shortcuts. I know the town history. Which houses are supposed to be haunted and which ones really are. I like traveling the world and seeing other people's homes, but this is mine. It's where I belong. Just like Ellsberg is where you belong."

"Between Jace leaving me and Pop dying, I couldn't be anywhere in Ellsberg without the past cutting at me."

"Running was the right decision a few weeks ago, but your mom is coming home. You can't run anymore."

"I know, but I'm afraid to go back," I admit.

Colbie pats my hand. "Kirk would want you to face your fears. Don't you think he faced danger a million times in his life and never flinched? Didn't mean he wasn't scared. It only meant he wasn't going to let fear beat him. You're his kid, so it's time to prove you inherited more than his last name."

Studying Colbie, I smile. "That was a really great pep talk."

"Bodie's idea. She's giving a similar one to your stallion."

"The twin thing is creepy. You know that, right?"

"It's not about knowing," she says, standing up. "It's about caring."

I finish my drink before following her outside. We stand in the painfully hot day.

"How soon does your mom get back?"

"Four days."

Shading her face with a chocolate brown cowboy hat, Colbie nods. " I guess you'll need to get packing."

"You seem a little too happy to get rid of me."

"Let me be honest with you, Sawyer," she says, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "I'd love to have you stay. I need more friends who won't cry when I give helpful hints. Oh, and you don't flinch when I casually throw punches at people standing near your face. You have the right DNA to be my buddy, but you don't belong here. Just as I bleed Last Dollar, you bleed Ellsberg. No fighting it. We're bleeders."

"It's true that nowhere makes me feel like Ellsberg."

"So you had a nice vacation, and you'll visit again one day with your curly haired babies. Oh, but before you leave, we need to have a party. This is Last Dollar after all. We celebrate every fucking thing."

"Nothing makes me happier than a party in my honor."

"Like I said, you have the perfect DNA to be my friend. Too bad you have places to be. Let's hope Bodie brings your man back in one piece."

Frowning at this comment, I follow Colbie to the SUV, but she refuses to explain. I dial Jace's phone. When he doesn't answer, I freak out a little. Colbie only laughs and goes speed demon on the way back to the house. She wants to talk farewell parties while I only want to know why my stallion isn't answering his phone.