In the Middle of Somewhere (28 page)

Jesus, it’s too early in the morning to have that kind of energy.

“Detroit was fine. I didn’t have time for anything but the conference. My paper went fine. It was about—”

“Oh, I remember. About turn of the century sensationalism in American newspaper illustration, right?”

I only remember briefly mentioning anything about my paper when I stopped in to Mr. Zoo’s on Friday. I assumed Leo was just being polite when he asked, and I can’t believe he understood what I was talking about, much less remembered it.

“That’s right. How do you remember that?”

He shrugs. “Dunno. Not that hard. Sounded interesting.” He’s bouncing a little, whether with energy or to keep warm, I’m not sure.

“What’re you doing out so early?” I ask.

“Oh, just wandering around,” Leo says. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Me either.”

“Then I saw you and figured I’d come say hi. Hey, you wanna get a coffee? I know you always go to Sludge before class.”

“How do you—? Never mind. Yeah, sure, let’s go.”

Marjorie greets me with a suspicious smile when I walk in the door with Leo. With no energy to resist her, I bite the bullet.

“I’ll have a Daniel, please.”

She looks disappointed for a moment, then smiles widely, as if she’s beaten me. And maybe she has. I don’t even have the energy to care.

“Ooh, yes, me too,” Leo says.

“Dude,” I say, sharing a look with Marjorie. “You’re already bouncing off the walls; the thought of you ingesting that much caffeine actually makes me fear for the safety of this town and everyone in it.”

“Nah, I’m good. Besides, coffee has a… whaddayacallit… paradoxical effect on me.”

“Huh?” says Marjorie.

“It, like, chills me out,” Leo says.

“Well, glory hallelujah, pour the kid some coffee,” I mutter.

A stocky kid in trendy clothes comes in behind us. Leo’s bouncing increases and his elegant nostrils flare.

“Two Daniels!” Marjorie announces gleefully, putting the drinks on the counter.

There’s a snort behind us.

“Trying to be just like your boyfriend, Leo? Good luck with that,” the guy in line behind us scoffs.

“Shut up, Todd!” Leo says, spinning around to look at him and almost knocking both coffees over with his backpack.

I put a hand on Leo’s twitching shoulder and turn to the kid behind us. I stand, looking at him. It’s the same vaguely threatening, totally unimpressed look that I gave Will last night, and this kid folds almost immediately, looking down at the expensive shoes I’m sure his parents bought him. Now
that’s
what’s supposed to happen.

“Excuse us,” I say calmly, sliding money across the counter to Marjorie and taking the coffees. I walk out the door, certain Leo will follow me.

“Ha!” Leo says, grinning, elbowing me as we get outside. “That was awesome. You just
looked
at him and he practically shit his pants. How’d you
do
that? I mean, you’re not even that big a guy and everyone’s terrified of you. You’ve got to teach me that.”

I decide to ignore the part about everyone being terrified of me, because I don’t even want to know.

“Well, first of all, you have to believe, one hundred percent, that you could take them out if it came down to a fight,” I tell him. “If you don’t believe it, they won’t either. That kind of confidence does 80 percent of the work for you. You look sure you could kick their ass, they’re gonna be thinking they have something to worry about. Second, you have to not give a shit. And it’s got to come from the inside out. If you’re faking it, they’ll know. Then the rest of it’s just staring at them. If you know you could win a fight
and
you don’t give a shit, the stare will do the rest of the work for you. Here, show me.”

I square off with Leo, taking his coffee. He’s only an inch or so shorter than me, but being that skinny, you’ve got to look all kinds of threatening to be taken seriously. I remember.

Leo laughs nervously, scuffing the toe of his Vans on the pavement.

“I’ve, um, never been in a fight.”

“What about the day I met you?” I’d kind of assumed that getting picked on was a regular occurrence for him, but maybe not.

“Oh, yeah, well. I’ve gotten my ass kicked, sure. But I’ve never actually thrown a punch.” He blushes and his eyelashes lower.

“Well, you’ve done the hardest part. It’s a lot easier to hit someone than it is to take a punch. I can teach you, if you want.” Wait, no. Is that irresponsible? But the kid’s got to learn to take care of himself or who knows what might happen to him.

“Whoa, really? Hell yes. Teach me!” He does what is, perhaps, supposed to be some kind of martial arts punch-kick combination and nearly takes out both coffees again as he lurches toward me, light brown hair falling into his eyes.

“All right, Karate Kid. Some other time, though. If anyone sees us I’m going to look like I’m corrupting a minor.”

“I’m not a minor; I’m eighteen. Hey! Wasn’t his name Daniel?”

“Who?”

“The Karate Kid!”

“Call me Daniel-san and live to regret it,” I tell him with a growl.

I hand him his coffee and we keep walking. My phone rings and my heart lurches when I see that it’s Rex.

“Sorry,” I say to Leo and wave the phone, turning my back to him.

“Hi,” I say.

“Daniel.” Rex’s deep voice makes my heart pound. “I need to talk to you.” I don’t even realize my hand’s in a fist until I hear my knuckles crack.

“Mmhmm.”

“Listen, about Will. He showed up last night without telling me he was coming to town, okay. And you don’t have to worry about him. Not at all.”

“Look, Rex, it’s not a good time to talk right now, okay? I’m with Leo and I’m about to go to my office. Can we talk about it later?”

Rex’s voice is clipped when he answers. Annoyed? Anxious? I’m not sure, but I know I’m both.

“Yeah, of course,” he says. “Can you come over tonight? After you’re done with work? I’ll make us some dinner.” Damn it, the magic words.

“Yeah, I guess,” I say. “Hey, how’s your head?” I try to sound casual, like I’m just checking in on a friend.

“It’s much better. Thank you.” I can hear the smile in his voice and the knot in my stomach loosens a little. “Tonight,” he says again, as if he’s afraid I won’t remember. “Whenever you’re done, just come on over. You can work here, if you want. I’ll be home by three.”

“Okay,” I say again.

“Oh, and Daniel, I, um, I have the Internet—you know, in case you weren’t sure whether you could work here today because you need it. I have it now, so….” He sounds a little embarrassed.

“Oh, you do? Well, that’s… okay, cool,” I say. I guess he decided he needed it after all.

“I’ll see you later,” Rex says, his voice even deeper.

“Bye.”

I turn around to find Leo practically in my face. I forgot he was there.

“Are you
dating
Rex Vale?” Leo asks, his eyes wide.

“Would you quit eavesdropping!”

“I ain’t been droppin’ no eaves, sir, honest,” he says, in a dopey quasi-British accent.

“What are you—?”

“Hello! Sam, from
The Fellowship of the Ring
? Have you
seen
a movie released after 1985?”

I grumble something, feeling seriously old.

“So? Are you? Dating Rex Vale?”

“Kind of,” I mutter, more to myself than to him.

“Oh shit, you totally are.” He groans. “That is so incredibly hot.” He looks me up and down and smiles that smile that’s going to get him laid or laid out, depending. Me, I kind of want to punch him, but part of me can’t help but be a little impressed. He’s really elevated this whole small-town-gossip thing to an art form. It’s like he watches television and movies and then goes out and slots people in his real life into the roles. Hell, it’s probably what I would’ve done if I’d grown up somewhere like this where nothing happens.

“What do you know about it?” I ask him.

“Um, just that Rex is, like, the hot carpenter and you’re the hot tattooed bad boy and I’m seeing tools and—”

“Stop, stop, stop! Jesus, Leo. Ground rule: don’t ever talk about sex with my boyfriend again, got it?”

“Oh my god, he totally
is
your boyfriend,” Leo says softly. “Okay, fine, sure, no problem. I will totally not talk about you and Rex having sex—whoa: poetry.” The look on his face says, very clearly, “You can’t stop me from thinking about it, though.”

“Whatever,” I mutter. “I think some old boyfriend of his is back, anyway, so it probably won’t last long.” I sit down on the bench at the edge of campus, picking at the sleeve on my to-go cup, and Leo sits beside me, knee jiggling up and down. I can’t believe I’m talking about my romantic problems with an eighteen-year-old. Honestly, though, it’s like I’m talking to a younger version of myself, anyway. Besides, when I was eighteen, Ginger definitely told me about hers. Of course, at eighteen I had a job and my own apartment, hovel though it was.

“I don’t know,” I say. “I’m going over there after class today. I guess I’ll find out what the deal is then.”

“No way does he like someone else more than you, Daniel,” Leo says sincerely.

“Don’t say shit like that, man; you don’t know. No one knows why anyone likes anyone, and it’s a total fucking mystery why Rex likes me.” I shake my head, frustrated.

“Well, what’d he say on the phone just now?”

“That we had to talk.”

“That all?”

“That I didn’t have to worry about Will and that I should come over tonight. And that he has the Internet now.”

“He didn’t have the Internet? That is insane. Wait, is he, like, way older than he looks?”

“He’s not
old
. He just said he doesn’t need it that often so he goes to the library when he does. Watch it, kid.”

“So, why’d he get it?”

“How the hell do I know? He started using it more, I guess. Or maybe now that it’s winter he doesn’t want to drag his ass to the library just to check his e-mail.”

“Dude, he totally bought you the Internet!” Leo says, socking me in the shoulder. “That’s so romantic.”

I stare at him.

“Come on, it’s obvious. You use it, right? So, he got it for you. Aw, man, I thought you were supposed to be smart.”

I have to call Ginger right away and tell her that I have found the human being that we would create if we ever had a child.

O
NCE
I
apprehensively gave Leo my phone number after he extracted a promise that I’d teach him to fight this weekend, I went to prepare for class. It’s a miracle I didn’t bungle both my classes given how distracted I was. I couldn’t stop thinking about Will, and wondering what Rex was going to tell me when I got over there this evening. And, I can’t lie: a tiny part of my brain kept running over and over Leo’s idea that Rex got the Internet for me.

As I leave my office around four, I can’t decide whether to take Rex up on his offer and go right over to his house or go home, change, and drive over later for dinner. I take two steps toward my apartment and then find myself reeling off in the other direction, toward Rex’s. It’s only a few miles, and a walk is just what I need to clear my head before I hear whatever he’s about to tell me. The air’s warmed up a bit and the sun is shining. The leaves are brilliant colors and everything smells clean. If there’s one thing I’ll say for Holiday, it always smells pretty good. There’s no stink of fumes or garbage, and everything smells alive.

I’m just thinking how pretty the walk is when the skies open and it starts to rain. Then pour. Secure in the knowledge that my laptop won’t get wet—my case is waterproof—I kind of enjoy it.

But when I knock on Rex’s door, I know I must look like a drowned rat because he takes one look at me and pulls me inside, shaking his head.

“Daniel, don’t you ever check the weather?” he chides, and I shake my head. I’m shivering now, and he drops my bag on the mat and pulls off my sodden jacket. I kick off my shoes.

“Jesus, you’re freezing,” he says, eyes flashing. He shakes his head at me in frustration. “Come here,” he says and leads me to the bathroom, reaching over my shoulder to turn on the shower. I’m having major déjà vu of the first night I was here, in February, when Rex took me into that bathroom to look at my bruises. My cheeks heat a little, still embarrassed at how strong I came on that night. Doubly embarrassed if it turns out that, not long after, Rex was fucking Will, probably telling him about the pathetic loser who threw himself at him. I can see Will’s perfect face smiling, enjoying the idea that his man is so irresistible. My hands fist and Rex jerks when I squeeze him.

“Sorry,” I say.

He sticks his hand in to test the water, then reaches for my sweater to pull it off.

“I can do it,” I say absently, pulling the sweater off from the bottom. He takes it from me and lays it out on the sink. Then he reaches for the buttons on my shirt. “I got it,” I say.

“Daniel, stop,” Rex says, his voice exhausted. I look up at him. “Please, let’s not be back here. This is my fault. Because of Will. I know. But, come on.”

I narrow my eyes at him expectantly. Rex looks at me exasperatedly, but there’s warmth there too.

He steps closer to me and closes the door so Marilyn can’t come in and drink the toilet water. He reaches for me and I step away from him.

“Well?” I finally say. Rex sighs.

“Will and I used to date. Years ago. But that was a long time ago. We’re just friends now. But, every now and again when he comes to town, we’ll—”

“Fuck,” I finish for him.

“Yeah. But that’s all it is.”

I look up at him, trying to read whether it’s true in his face. He meets my gaze intently, but he seems irritated or something.

“It didn’t seem like that’s all it was to him,” I say.

Rex snorts.

“Yeah, well, Will is contrary that way. But believe me, that’s all it is. He just likes to be alpha dog.”

“Hmm,” I say. “Interesting.”

Rex blushes.

“Look,” he says, running his hands up and down my ribs. “I know it was real bad timing last night. It must’ve seemed bad, what with everything you told me about Richard. But, Daniel, you have to know that I would never do that.”