In Plain View (33 page)

The moment Ruth pulled off the highway onto Main Street, she regretted the decision to drive into town. Old habits tugged. In fine weather, she and Elijah used to walk into town on any errand they could scrounge up in exchange for the miles of conversation. In chill or damp, they took a buggy and often Jacob. Periodically they would turn their heads toward each other in shy smiles. Their mothers seemed not to mind the hours they spent together. And why should they? Ruth and Elijah were sixteen when they found the wideness of their common ground—old enough to think of marriage. If their mothers had known how often they spoke of life beyond Amish bonds, they might have been less generous in assigning errands in town.

Ruth was startled by how much it pleased her to have a car. And a driver’s license. These possessions made this trip into town inaugural. Until Annalise’s gift of the Prius, Ruth never entertained car ownership. She still thought of herself as living plain. But now she would save hours every week by not having to arrange her life according to bus schedules, and she could go wherever she decided to go.

And that was the very thing that made owning a car objectionable to her own people. Independence of will. Pride of ownership. Ruth gripped the steering wheel, determined that driving a car would enrich her life, rather than subsume it.

She drove the length of Westcliffe’s primary street, turning around only when she reached the sign that welcomed her to the adjoining community of Silver Cliff. Even before she glanced at the dashboard clock, Ruth knew she had most of an hour before she was supposed to meet Elijah. She could not bring herself to get out of the car, though. If she spoke to anyone, the conversation would drive straight to awkward and complicated. The
English
shopkeepers would assume she was more like them now than she actually was. Amish neighbors would say nothing impolite, but their lips would press together in disapproval.

Ruth made a series of left turns that took her to the short street Annalise lived on. She parked and turned off the engine in front of the narrow green house. She was not sorry she had come to see for herself that Annalise was all right. She had been calling Annalise’s phone for two days and getting no answer, so finding Annalise on her bicycle on the side of the highway liberated her from what she had let herself imagine. A lost phone was all that kept Annalise from quelling Ruth’s fears herself. And it was right to speak to Elijah face-to-face and impress upon him that he must stop contacting her. She only hoped she would be strong enough when she sat beside him on the rock.

And then there was Joel. Annalise had refused to allow Ruth to stay with her to confront Joel together. Ruth’s imagination could not conjure a believable explanation for the tools wrapped in Joel’s shirt. And Joel certainly had no business amid the stored construction supplies.

Ruth pushed the button that lowered the driver’s side window a couple of inches. Fresh air blew across her face. Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back, imagining being with Elijah in just a few minutes with the words in her mind still too unformed to speak.

A rap on the window startled her.

Ruth sat up straight, straining against the seat belt, and saw her little brother’s face pressed against the glass.

“Jacob!”

“See,
Mamm,”
Jacob said, “it is Ruth.”

Ruth released the seat belt and got out of the car. She knelt and let Jacob wrap his arms around her neck.

“He insisted he saw Annalise’s car on Main Street,” Franey said. “He was halfway down the block before I caught him. Then he said it was you in the car, not Annalise.”

Ruth stood, stifling regret. “Hello,
Mamm.”
She stepped forward to kiss her mother’s cheek.

“So you are driving.” Franey shifted a shopping bag to one hip.

“Yes.”

“When I heard that Annalise gave you the car, I was not sure you would accept it.”

“It was a gift. I would not want to be ungracious.” Ruth scratched a temple.

“You know I am very fond of Annalise, but I am afraid she does not understand that she is complicating your life with such a gift, rather than simplifying it.”

“I am already finding it to be a practical gift.”

“You have always said you would remain plain at heart even though you want to live and work outside our community.” Franey’s shoulders dropped as she moved her head slowly from side to side.

“I still feel that way.”

“But driving a car, Ruth. I don’t understand.” Franey wrapped both arms around the sack.

Jacob tugged at the back door. “Can I have a ride?”

“Jacob, no.” Franey put a firm hand on her son’s shoulder and pulled him away from the car. “Ruth may have her reasons, but this has nothing to do with you.”

“Maybe another time,” Ruth said.

“Please don’t encourage him,” Franey said.

“Maybe Ruth can drive us home,” Jacob said. “Then we won’t have to wait for
Daed
. He’s taking a long time.”

“Jacob, be patient. We should wait for your father to finish at the hardware store.” Franey glanced back toward Main Street. “The house is open, of course. Ruth can go on ahead and we’ll see her for supper.”

Ruth winced. “I’m sorry,
Mamm
. I can’t stay. I only came to be sure Annalise was all right. Elijah told me what happened. I’ll speak with him, and then I have to go home. I have to be at work at six in the morning.”

Ruth appreciated her mother’s effort to smile through her disappointment.

“I’ll come again soon,
Mamm
. The car will make it so much easier to come back more often.”

“Next time I want a ride!” Jacob said.

Ruth stroked the back of his head. “We’ll see what
Mamm
says.”

“Let’s go, Jacob,” Franey said. “Maybe your
daed
has something for you to carry.”

“ ’Bye, Ruth!” Jacob waved and started trotting up the street. Franey followed.

Ruth sank back into the driver’s seat. Every choice she made seemed to dishearten her mother. Her thoughts turned to Elijah. She had to face him and disappoint him as well.

He was waiting for her on the rock. He sat at the front ledge with his legs dangling, and she approached from behind. His stocky frame tilted back, his weight on his hands a few inches behind his shoulders. Suspenders striped his white shirt, and the black hat on his head was slightly off tilt, as it usually was.

She loved him.

But he deserved a better love, one that did not tear his life apart.

As she hoisted herself up the final incline and onto the rock’s flatness, he heard her. He dropped one shoulder, turned his head, and grinned.

“Hello.” Ruth stood on the rock, looking at the scar on the ground below them. “Were they really trying to blow up our rock?”

“No one knows for sure, since no one knows who was behind the explosion.”

“It’s been three days.” Ruth moved toward the center of the boulder. “What’s taking so long?”

“It’s a small town. You cannot go around making accusations until you are sure. That kind of damage can never be undone.”

“I suppose not.” Ruth did not like to think of anyone accusing Joel of anything—and certainly not this.

Elijah pushed up to his feet and stood beside her. “I’m glad you came.”

Ruth slid a step away from him. “Elijah, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then don’t. Don’t say it.”

“We can’t keep going around this circle pretending that there will be a happy ending.”

“We can have a happy ending if we want it.”

“You know it’s not that simple. If we’re not careful, we’ll be the ones causing damage that cannot be undone. I should know. I seem to be pretty good at it already.”

“Don’t chastise yourself.” Elijah reached out and touched her elbow.

“Elijah, please.”

He moved closer, wrapping his arms around her. She buried her face in his neck and let the tears come. The security of him. The warmth of him. The scent of him. The sureness of him. When he put his thumb under her chin to tilt it up, she did not resist. Could not resist.

The kiss lasted a long time. Finally Ruth pushed away.

“We should not be doing this.”

“I love you, Ruth. There’s never going to be anyone else.”

“Yes, there will—but not as long as we have anything to do with each other. It’s not fair to think we can be friends. And it’s outrageous to think we can be anything more. If you can get me out of your mind, you would have a chance to find the kind of love you can build a life on.”

“How do you know what I want, Ruth? How do you know what I’m willing to do? Do you think you are the only strong one?”

“I’m not sure that what I did was strong, Elijah. If I were strong, would I be here now? Would I have wanted you to kiss me?”

“Ruth, you’ve punished yourself enough over the last two years. You can stop.”

“I’m not punishing myself,” she insisted. “I only want the best for you. I don’t want you to go through what I’ve been through, and I can’t come back. I’m not coming back. You have to accept that.”

“I do accept it.”

She met his eyes, dark and probing. “No,” she said. “I will not be the reason. Please don’t write to me, Elijah. Don’t call. It’s best this way.”

Thirty-Six

March 1778

M
amm,”
Jacob said, “Maria has come home.”

When she did not answer immediately, apprehension flashed like lightning. Jacob felt it, and then it was gone. Whatever questions roiled in his mother, she would not turn her back on Maria.

He glanced at his half sister, who seemed less certain of Elizabeth’s forgiveness.

Elizabeth’s face contorted its way from blanched to flushed. “I remember the day you came in the bookshop with your father and Lisbetli. you were five years old.”

Maria laughed nervously. “More than forty years ago. Lisbetli chose you before the rest of us did.”

“Both of you were beautiful little girls, and I wanted nothing more than to stand alongside your father and watch you grow into women.”

Jacob heard the breath go out of Maria. “I told
Daed
we would see you again,” she said.

“I waited for you to come back to the shop then, and I’ve waited again all this time.”

When his mother and sister were in each other’s arms—sobbing—Jacob breathed his own sigh of relief. He turned to his son, who had watched the interchange with his mouth hanging half-open.

“Franklin, go get your mother. Use the wagon to bring everybody up here quickly.”

“Everybody?” Maria echoed. “How many are there?”

“Four boys, two girls,” Jacob answered. In another situation, he might have mirrored the polite inquiry with one of his own. But he would have to save his curiosity about Maria’s family for another time. “Go, Franklin.”

The boy turned and scuttled down the hill.

“Come, Maria,” Elizabeth said, “let’s go to the house.”

An hour later, Jacob confined himself to the main room of his mother’s house, savoring the comforting presence of his children. He sat in the chair nearest the fire to be sure none of the little ones came too near the grate. Catherine nestled in his lap, and the baby dozed in the same cradle Jacob himself had slept in so long ago. Joseph’s two children squabbled at his feet, but Jacob paid no mind. He was listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen, where Elizabeth heated water over the small hearth for the tub and Maria gasped with delight at the luxury of a hot, unhurried bath. Jacob’s wife, Katie, and Joseph’s wife, Hannah, huddled in the kitchen looking for ways to be helpful.

Katie came out of the kitchen and glanced around. “Where’s Franklin?”

“I sent him to ride out to John’s and find David in the north field.” Jacob paused to plant a kiss on top of Catherine’s head. “Getting a message to Sarah is more complicated. And Joseph? I don’t know where he is.”

“We haven’t had a letter since before Valley Forge,” Katie said. She wiped her hands on her apron. “Hannah tries not to show it, but she’s frantic.”

“How’s Maria?”

Katie laughed, the sound that cracked Jacob’s heart open every time.

“Underneath all those clothes was a layer of dirt thick as window glass,” she said. “But it’s coming off little by little.”

“I hope she’ll tell us her story.”

“Don’t rush her, Jacob. She’s been gone thirty years. She will need time.”

Her counsel was wise as always, and Jacob nodded.

“I’m on my way upstairs to find her a dress,” Katie said. “Your
mamm
says Sarah leaves a couple of work dresses here. Maria is too short for Elizabeth’s clothes.”

Another thirty minutes passed before Maria appeared in the main room, shyly tugging at a faded calico dress that hid her thinness. A girlish ribbon at the base of her neck temporarily tamed her long black hair. Behind her, Katie, Hannah, and Elizabeth stood like ladies in waiting. Jacob rose to greet the entourage.

“I have not worn a dress like this in a long time,” she said. “I hardly know how to walk.”

What had she been wearing? Jacob wanted to know. He swallowed the question and smiled.

“Ethan would be pleased, I think,” Maria said.

“Ethan?”

“Her husband,” Katie supplied.

Apparently more had transpired in the kitchen than a thorough scrubbing.

“I’ve been in one disguise or another for years,” Maria said. “A wagon driver, a farm wife, a dairy farmer on milk runs. Usually in drab colors and fabrics that no one would notice.”

Jacob tilted his head. “Perhaps a brown tweed jacket and breeches, and a hat pulled down low over your face behind the State House? The sort of thing no one would notice in a steady rain?”

He watched Maria’s eyes widen.

“Yes, I was there in the State House yard that day,” he said. “With so many people there, I couldn’t move quickly enough to follow you.”

She gasped. “I cannot believe it. You knew I was in Philadelphia?”

“I was not sure I could trust my eyes,” he said, “and Sarah did not see you at all.”

Elizabeth stepped forward and gripped Jacob’s arm. “You never told me!”