In Her Eyes (22 page)

Coach shook his head as he looked over to the runners as they neared the first turn of lap eleven. Ben had dropped back to eleventh and was tucked deep inside a pocket of runners. Coach kicked at the ground and divot of grass and dirt went flying. Then he walked back over to Parker, handed him the stopwatch, and sat down on a green and yellow fold-out chair.
It was a good try, kid. The track is just too fast today.

“What’s he doing?” Parker asked.

Coach grunted something incomprehensible as he took his hat off and ran his hand through his graying hair.

“Coach, what’s he doing?” Parker said again.

“Not now, Parker. Go flirt with one of the trainers or whatever you usually do.”

Coach felt a tug on his left shirt sleeve and looked up to see Parker tugging on it like a five-year-old. He watched Parker’s head move from right to left, watching the runners come out of turn two and into the backstretch.

Coach slapped at Parker’s hand that was still tugging.

“Coach—” Parker started again.

Coach Melvick stood up. “Holy shit, boy. What do you want?”

Parker pointed to the runners as they passed on the opposite side of the field and Coach Melvick turned around.

“Well, I’ll be damned…He knows he can’t out-kick Keven Robinson. So he’s going to run at such a furious pace that there is no kick for anyone.”

“How does he know that?” Parker asked.

“Because I told him.”

56

Pick Up

June 12, 2015

Casey wiped the tears from her blurry eyes as she rifled through her purse for her phone. She was throwing stuff all over the living room, looking for it.

“There you are!” she exclaimed. She slid the screen to unlock and found Ben’s number under her favorites list. She waited a second and the phone started ringing.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up…” she said in rapid succession.

She held the phone away from her face for a moment and looked at the time. It was 5:11 p.m. on the east coast where she was.

She put the phone back to her ear. It rang once more, then went to voice mail.

“You’ve reached Ben, but I’m away from my phone. You know what to do at the beep.”

“Shit.” Casey said. “Shit, shit, shit.” This was her last hope of stopping him from racing. If he only knew about Emma and Grace …

She didn’t want to leave this on voice mail, but she had to take a chance that he’d hear it. So, she waited for the beep.

“Ben,” Casey said, trying to calm herself. She held her hand over her chest as she breathed deeply.

“Ben, I don’t know how to say this.

“I got this letter in the mail today about the donor from Emma’s corneal transplant.

“
Ben,”
she said for the third time. “The letter is from you. The donor…it was Grace.” Casey paused, not sure what else to say.

“I know we didn’t leave things on good terms. And I’m sorry. But if you get this message, please don’t take a chance with your life and run today. Call me back, please. I love you.”

Casey’s phone rang instantly and she just about dropped it trying to answer.

“Hello, hello?” Casey said, almost yelling into the phone.

“Hey, are you watching this?”

Casey hung her head. It was Nikki.

“Nikki, I’m sorry, I can’t talk right now.”

“Are you at least watching Ben?”

Her question confused Casey.

“No. What? He doesn’t race until 5 p.m., which puts it at like 8 p.m. our time.”

“Casey, turn on ESPN.”

Casey ran over to the couch and grabbed the remote. She turned on the T.V. and flipped to ESPN.

The phone fell from her hand as she took two steps closer to the screen.

“Casey? Hello? Casey?” Nikki said.

Casey didn’t hear anything as she watched Ben run. Out in front of everyone.

57

Fading

June 12, 2015

As he rounded the last turn Ben didn’t see the gap between him and Robinson. But he could see her hair, the deep brown color of an autumn leaf. He could see her aquamarine eyes, as clear as the shallows of an untouched ocean. He could see her smile at the end of his arms like every little girl should smile.

He didn’t feel his heart beating 220 beats per minute. But he could feel her fingers wrapped around his.

He ran at a furious pace, pushing beyond the limits of himself. And though he didn’t hear the crowd go silent in disbelief, he could hear her voice echo throughout his mind.

His chest heaved uncontrollably as he gasped for breath and his muscles tensed to the point of tearing. The end was coming, the finish line fast approaching until at last he stepped through the solid white ribbon.

It was only pure instinct that Ben stopped running about twenty feet past the finish line. People began running towards him, but his ears were ringing and vision was blurring. He suddenly felt the entire weight of his body again and fell to his knees.

The silent stadium erupted and the announcer’s voice reverberated over the track. “Ladies and gentleman. It is still being confirmed. But…” The announcer hesitated at the gravity of what he was about to say. “Benson Wilder of the University of Florida has just become the first collegiate runner to break the 5000-meter world record.”

Ben could barely hear the words over the incessant pounding of his heart, but they meant absolutely nothing to him as he looked up at the clouds. He tried to speak when he felt hands around his shoulders, but couldn’t.

The image of his daughter faded once again, and in her place he saw Casey’s short blonde hair. He felt her soft touch as a breath of wind whispered past him. And then a second later he collapsed.

58

Heaven

2 years earlier 

June 9, 2013

“Do you think everyone goes to heaven?”

These questions had been getting harder over the last few weeks. People all too often underestimate the intelligence and forethought of five-year-olds.

Ben looked down at the little girl. Her small hand wrapped inside his.
It makes my heart hurt when she asks me questions like this.
“I like to think so,” he said.

“Do you think I’ll go to heaven?”

It took everything he had to fight back the single tear that began to form behind his eyes. “Sweetheart. You’re going to be fine. You don’t need to think about things like that right now.”

“I know. But, just in case. Do you think I will?”

“Of course.”

“What about Baby Bear?”

Snuggled against her right side was a hand-stitched brown bear. He looked down at the bear. Along the right side of his neck was two inches of black string, where he had added some stuffing recently. Ben thought if he could show her Baby Bear could make it through surgery that she would too.

“I think he’ll be there too.”

“And you’ll take care of him if I can’t?”

“We’ll take care of him together. How does that sound?”

Before she could answer, the door swung open and Dr. Sanchez walked into the room. “And how is my favorite patient doing today?”

Grace smiled. “I’m doing good, but can you have a look at Baby Bear?”

She held out the stuffed animal as Dr. Sanchez walked around to the other side of the bed. He took his stethoscope out and placed it on Baby Bear’s chest in several places. “Mr. Bear seems to be in excellent health.”

“Good, because he’s recovering from surgery,” Grace said pointing at the row of stitches on his neck.

Dr. Sanchez leaned in closer. “I see that. And someone did a very fine job with the sutures.”

“That was my dad.”

“Well, your dad did a very fine job. And speaking of your dad, do you mind if I borrow him for just a minute?”

“Sure. I think we’re going to take a nap. Baby Bear is tired.” Dr. Sanchez wrapped his stethoscope back around his neck and smiled.

“You and Baby Bear get comfy, and I’ll be back in just a minute to tuck you in for a nap,” Ben said.

Grace moved to her left enough so Baby Bear could lie on the pillow next to her as Ben followed Dr. Sanchez into the hall.

When the door clicked shut behind them Ben quickly asked, “Is everything alright?”

Dr. Sanchez leaned against the wall and very matter-of-factly said, “We found a heart.”

59

Gone

June 12, 2015

“I’m sorry, miss, we can’t release patient information to non-family members,” the woman from Sacred Heart General Hospital said.

“Can you at least tell me if he’s alright?” Casey asked.

“I’m sorry, miss.”

Casey already knew the answer to her next question, but she asked anyways. “What about a message? Can I leave a message for him?”

“I’m sorry, miss.”

“Okay, Casey said,” knowing the woman was just following the rules. “Thank you.”

She hung up and tried Ben’s phone again, but this time it didn’t even ring.

* * *

When Ben next opened his eyes there was a blurry darkness all around him, except for one small light in the distance that was getting closer and closer.

Then he heard a noise that sounded like a muffled voice. And then another. His faculties were still adjusting.

The white light was gone, and suddenly his ears were working and he could hear the voices clearly.

“Parker, if you shine that damn light in the kid’s face again, I’m going to take that phone and—”

“Coach?” Ben asked, trying to blink away the blurriness. Ben closed his eyes again, and when he opened them, Coach Melvick and Parker were standing over him.

“You’re going to be okay, kid,” Coach said.

Ben looked down to see himself in a striped robe. He went to move his arm, but the IV cord tugged lightly. “Am I in the hospital?”

“Man, you were out cold,” Parker said.

“What happened?”

“Well, you came from behind to break the world record, and then in the immortal words of Martin Lawrence, you passed the fuck out.”

Coach Melvick slapped Parker on the back of the head with a rolled-up newspaper.

“Coach, what the—” Parker said, grabbing the back of his head.

“Do you have any idea how stupid you sound?”

Parker started to say something.

“Do not answer that,” Coach said. “Just go get the nurse, and let her know Ben is awake.”

“Alright, geez.” Parker said. Then he looked at Ben. “I’ll be back in a minute, don’t go anywhere.”

Ben laughed as Parker walked out of earshot.

“You have any idea how stupid that was?” Coach said.

“It was your idea to sprint the last two laps!” Ben said.

“Not that. That was a stroke of genius that won you the damn race. I’m talking about the fact that your little boyfriend told me that you also happened to pass out last week on a run.”

“I didn’t think it was anything,” Ben lied.

“You didn’t
think
is right. You got
lucky
it was nothing.”

Parker returned with the doctor and nurse following.

“We’ll be in the lobby,” Coach said to Ben. “Let’s go, Parker.”

The nurse walked over to where Coach Melvick had been standing and read off the vitals on the screen above Ben. The doctor checked his eyes with a small light as he listened. “Sounds good,” he said, and then the nurse walked back out.

“I’m good to go?” Ben asked.

“You were technically good to go about six hours ago,” the doctor said. “But I imagine you needed a little nap after that performance today.”

“And you’re sure I’m okay? Like my heart and everything.”

“You are good to go Mr. Wilder. Did a full work up while you were resting and it didn’t reveal any major cardiac problems.”

When the news fully processed, Ben, relieved, slumped down into the bed further. He was fine.

“So, then why did I pass out?”

“It’s hard to say exactly. It’s not uncommon in extreme athletes like yourself. They’re called benign faints. Your blood sugar was a little low and you were a bit dehydrated, but nothing out of the ordinary. The nurse will be in in a bit, and you can get out of here.”

60

Dead

June 12, 2015

Getting out of the hospital wasn’t exactly as easy as the doctor made it out to be. About an hour later the nurse finally came back, and then it took another thirty minutes to finish up paperwork. By the time Ben got to the lobby it was close to two in the morning, and Coach Melvick and Parker were both passed out, sitting upright.

Ben walked over and kicked Parker’s chair. “You guys planning on spending the night here or what?”

Parker wiped the sleep from his eyes and looked up at Ben. “Apparently the fastest man in the world needed nap time?”

Ben ignored the question. “You know you have drool on your shoulder, right?”

Parker stood up and tossed Ben his duffle bag. “Let’s go, the girls of Florida await our return.”

Coach Melvick was standing by the door. “If you ladies are done chatting, I’d like to get the hell out of here.”

Ben followed Parker and Coach out to a cab that was waiting. He sat in the back next to Parker and unzipped his bag. He pulled out his phone, but the screen was black. He tried the power button several times, but it was no use. His phone was dead.

* * *

When they got to the airport the plane was sitting alone on the tarmac. A man in a navy vest and matching hat escorted them down the runway towards the plane.

“Good morning,” the stewardess said as Ben made his way up the airstairs.

It was just past midnight and still dark out, so technically it was still morning. “Morning,” Ben said. A few steps later and his teammates all started chanting. “World Record, World Record, World Record.”

Ben looked around. The plane was empty except for the men’s and women’s University of Florida track team. They kept chanting until Coach told them all to shut the hell up so they could go home.