Illicit (10 page)

Chapter 10

By the time I went to bed that evening, Thorn still had not been back yet. Well my truck was in the driveway, but I hadn't seen him. And dad said it had just appeared, he hadn't heard or seen anything either. "Jazz you okay, you need anything?”

“No dad, I'm just going to go to bed now." I felt miserable as I pounded my pillow into submission.

How was it possible that this one person had come to mean so much in so short a time? Why did I feel abandoned because he'd obviously found something else to do that was more important?

I fell into a fitful slumber sometime later, only to be awakened by the feeling of someone in bed with me. My heart gave a lurch of fear, until I heard his voice quietly in my ear.

"Settle little one it’s only me." Immediately my traitorous body relaxed back against him once more. "How did you get here, where's dad, does he know?” He turned me over in his arms until my head rested on his chest.

Somehow I knew this wasn’t one of his nocturnal visits, even though my eyes were still closed. He just felt more real and I could hear his heartbeat where my head laid on his chest.

“No, I came through your window, your father is not yet ready to accept what you are to me. We will take our time there I think, but you needed me here with you so here I am.”

“How did you know I needed you?”

“Because we're...connected.” I started to question him but a finger across my lips silenced me.

“One day soon I will answer all your questions I promise, but that's for later; for now just know that I'm always with you." He got settled in bed with me and for the first time since he’d left I felt whole again.

I wasn't quite sure what to make of his words, but when he wrapped me in his arms and drew me in closer for one of his craved forehead kisses, every thought vanished.

I fought to stay awake to enjoy the closeness, who knew what would happen tomorrow? Will he go back to his distance keeping, or will things change, what?

Sleep won out in the end and I was soon off in wonderland, as his scent washed over me, enveloping me in warmth.

When I awakened in the morning I was alone. I felt the bitter disappointment before my body alerted me to the fact that I was sick as a dog and another worry set in.

I dragged myself from the bed and into the shower in the hopes that some warm water might revive me, but no such luck.

I started getting hot and cold flashes and had almost passed out, when the shower door was pushed open forcefully, and he was there, grabbing me out from under the water. I got a quick glimpse of his sheet white face before giving into the darkness.

"Well how was I supposed to know she would go soak herself as soon as she got out the bed? I was just making coffee.”

“I told you to keep an eye on her, I was only gone for ten minutes because you forgot the nutmeg.”

“Son this is Havenhurst, ain't much call for nutmeg in these parts. I still don't know where the hell you found some.”

“That doesn't matter, what matters is that she could've been hurt.”

“Boy you're about to drive me up a wall, first you come downstairs at the ass crack of dawn like you own the place, and I'm still not too sure about this spending the night thing...”

“Chief, look at me." I watched through slitted, feverish eyes, as my father turned to Thorn and his shoulders rose and fell. "Well alright fine, you can spend the night but no hanky panky.”

“That's none of your concern, and I'm sure it would be rather embarrassing for your daughter to hear you speak like that. Jasmine, open your eyes."

Damn, how did he know, and why was his accent so strong this morning? It seemed like the more I heard it the stronger and dare I say, sexier it became.

His hand came down on my forehead as dad stood to the side watching with a worried frown. "What do you think Azarov, doctor?”

“No I will see to her, I've got what I need, you may go to the station.”

“Look here boy...”

“You're needed at work no?”

“Well yes....”

“And you have pressing matters to attend to, things you had to leave when you came home to take care of your daughter yesterday yes?”

“Uh huh, you seem to know a lot.” Dad sounded putout and none too pleased with this turn of events.

“Yesterday you were needed because I hadn't been prepared for her illness, today I am, so you can leave me to it. I will see that she's well taken care of."

There was nothing I could say except to follow them back and forth with my head like I would at a tennis match.

Who was this guy, my pseudo boyfriend of sorts...well...whatever he was. Who was he really that he spoke to a man twice his age with such an authoritative air?

And why was my father even listening to him? I fell asleep again while the two of them argued back and forth and when next I awakened, Thorn was sitting next to my bed reading a book.

"Good you're awake, time for your special tea." Spooky, I hadn't even twitched, but still he knew the moment I was awake.

He sat next to me and pulled me up against his chest, his movements gentle and precise; and holding a cup to my lips, fed me his special brew.

Now I know where the nutmeg went, there was orange and apples and some of everything it seemed in the cup. "It's my babushka's remedy for everything.”

“Babushka, what's that?”

“It's the language of my people, our people. It means grandma.”

“My people? My people are American." He didn't answer me and I looked up at him questioningly. "Well aren't they?”

“There's nothing for you to worry about malenkaya." I wanted him to talk, but his words just leave me with more questions than answers. "Soon you will have all the answers, but it is not the time, for now you rest yes?”

“What was that you called me before? I liked it.”

“Malenkaya, it means little one." I settled closer to him as he fed me the tea at little intervals. "When you are finished we will take you for a walk, a little fresh air will be good for your condition.”

“My condition, what's my condition exactly?”

“You have a strain of...the flu that is all, nothing I can't fix in a day or two, plenty of fluids and rest.”

“What about school, aren't you going to get into trouble? You’ve already missed so much as it is.”

“No, now stop fishing for information and put your head down and rest. Would you like me to read to you from one of your books?" He reached over and took up my almost destroyed copy of Anna Karenina from the pile.

"How did you...? Never mind." I just did as I was told and put my head back down while he read softly to me, stopping every now and then to kiss my hair and pull me up higher on his chest as I seemed to keep sliding.

His voice was lulling me into a dream state where all that existed was here and now, him and I cocooned in a little bubble where no one and nothing else could trespass.

But this was better than my dreams. Here, like this, I could feel the beating of his heart against me and inhale his scent that seemed to convey so much more to my hungry heart.

There was something of the familiar in his touch, in the way he held me so protectively. My name on his lips was like balm to my soul.

In his arms I felt at peace, whole, safe; all the things I never had before. He whispered to me softly, even when there was no need to.

His words stirred something in me. He could’ve been talking about the weather and I think I would’ve reacted the same. It was the timbre in his voice; it seemed to brush up against something in my heart and soul.

“You have beautiful hair little Jasmine.” There, right there. It was the way he said my name, the familiarity of it sent my mind on an expedition. Something was tickling the edges of my mind, but something else was holding me back.

It was as if I were afraid to remember. Was it one of the dreams from before? Is that why it seemed so familiar? But why would I be afraid of a dream? Silly question Jazz, your dreams become real.

“You must not worry over much Jasmine, all will be well, you will see.” That was another thing about Thorn; he always seemed to know what was going on with me. As if he could see into me, like we were connected somehow; fanciful much Jazz?

I held on tighter, somehow his assurance having the opposite effect. Why did I feel like there was something pending? There was an unbearable underlying feeling of sadness.

“Thorn?”

“Yes Milaya.” He kissed my brow and drew me in closer and just like that it was gone. The fear, the worry, the doubt! I snuggled as close as I could get, “nothing.” It was enough that he was there.

***

I slept on and off all day and was spoon fed liquids each time I awakened. He was always there when I opened my eyes, never too far away.

I didn't even think to be embarrassed when he lifted me from the bed and carried me to the bathroom, waiting outside the door until I called out to him that I was done.

My poor body had become weak, and though I was no longer burning up with fever, I still felt less than perfect, though not nearly as close to death as the day before.

Once I awakened to find him gazing at me with this faraway look on his face and in that moment it seemed like another time and place, another Thorn and Jazz.

It jolted me for a moment until his eyes cleared and he smiled at me and I settled once more.

"Lyubof." The word went through me for some strange reason though I had no idea of its meaning.

He was so loving and tender with me throughout the day, no gruff reprimands, and no glares; just answering my every need, sometimes before I voiced them.

By the time dad came home that evening I had been dressed and sitting on the couch after a nice brisk walk, well as brisk as I could manage on my noodle like legs.

He'd ended up carrying me the rest of the way back, which he seemed to do so effortlessly.

"How were you kids today?" Dad was watching Thorn as though he was a coiled snake about to strike, what was that about?

I looked between them again and saw the hard look on Thorn's face. Gone was the easy going boy of the day and in his place wasn't even the hard ass from the school halls.

No, this was a different element entirely, and he looked ten years older and very...Frightening.

"In the kitchen chief." I watched in bewilderment as my father followed the much younger Thorn out of the room. What the hell had just happened here?

Was I in an alternate universe or something? I couldn't hear anything that was being said, I just heard hushed sounds that seemed rather urgent and was making me very nervous.

I decided to snoop and got more than I bargained for, even though I didn't know what it was exactly that I got.

"What is a member of spetsnaz doing in my daughter's high school and better yet what the hell are you doing with my daughter? You say your name is Azarov but...”

“Ssh, keep your voice down. There are things going on here that you do not understand as yet and it is not the time. I will tell her first when the time is right, and then we will share with you.”

“No, you will tell me now or you will leave my house and stay the hell away from my daughter.”

“I'm afraid I can't do that, if I did, your daughter would be dead in a matter of days.”

“What, what the hell are you talking about?”

“The day your daughter became so ill is the day she had decided to be done with me, because in her mind I wasn't moving fast enough.

I was trying to give her time to adjust, but she sees it as neglect. However, when she made up her mind to separate herself from me the part of her that belongs to me rebelled; had I not been there she might've died.”

“What, boy you've seen one too many Stephen King movies, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Ask her. Come here lyubof, and in the future you will not eavesdrop on the conversation of others, it is not polite."

I stepped into the room sheepishly, more confused than ever, and he called me over to him without uttering a word.

I walked into his arms and under his shoulder before turning to dad. "What's spetsnaz and why does it have you so freaked?”

“It would appear your boyfriend is part of Russian special forces, you know the guys that make the men in black look like school boys.”

Dad folded his arms and breathed fire. His words only succeeded in confusing me farther as a prickling sensation travelled down my spine.

Thorn squeezed my shoulder and drew me in closer while I tried to understand my sudden uneasiness. With one touch of his lips to my brow it was gone and I felt nothing more than the joy of being closer to him.

“Enough chief, you must not scare her, there's nothing to fear lyubof I promise you. It's as I said, in time I will reveal all, just not yet okay?" He looked from me to my father.

Dad looked like he was about to explode and I held my breath, hoping and praying that he didn't forbid me to see Thorn, because somehow I knew I would have to disobey him and that would break my heart.

"Never, I will never let anything harm your heart, do not worry about such things malenkaya, all will be well.”

“Yeah well I don't know about all that, my grandmother was Russian I know a little about the old world. Looks like I'm going to have to do some brushing up.

In the meantime, I'm going to be keeping my eyes on you, special-forces or not a bullet to the ass would stop any man in his tracks." Dad was back to muttering but it looked like the crisis was over.

"You would think so wouldn't you?" The sinister smile on Thorn's face did not bode well; oh boy, seems like I'd bitten off more than I could chew, but I so liked the flavor.

I was ushered back to the couch while they carried on their conversation in hushed tones.

I was dying to run upstairs and get on the computer to look up this Russian intelligence thing dad was talking about, but I was also a little apprehensive about what I might find.

So far nothing about Thorn Azarov was adding up, though I didn’t sense any danger when I was with him, I had the overwhelming feeling that there was something else going on that I wasn’t aware of.

Chapter 11

Thorn stayed with me for the next few days, never moving too far away from my side. It was strange, but whenever he was close by I felt whole, happy and almost giddy.

But when he would move away, especially if he left the room for any length of time, it was almost as if I'd lost a limb and the feeling kept getting stronger as the days wore on.

It was a bit confusing, because I've always been a very solitary person; I mean I had to be, being raised by a seemingly disinterested and sometimes scatterbrained mother. I’d learned to keep my own company.

But now I find myself being needy and almost embarrassingly whiny when he had to leave me. In those few days we grew closer, though we both seemed to be shying away from anything too heavy.

He also seemed to be reading my mind, which I couldn’t reconcile with anything I’d ever experienced before, but there were certainly strange occurrences that led me down a very fanciful path.

Like just now for instance. We'd both been relaxing on the couch, his arms wrapped around me from behind, while I lay back against him reading, and he watched something on TV.

I'd had a sudden yen for a latte, the thought just fleeting, but very welcome, since the only thing I’d been able to keep down in the last few days is weak tea.

Thorn kissed my hair and with a soft ‘I'll be right back' had left the house. Now a few minutes later he was back with a latte made just the way I liked it.

"Thorn can you read my mind?"

I watched him closely, my breath held as I awaited his answer. His eyes flashed and I swear they changed color for a second.

I felt that spark of electricity in the air that I was beginning to associate with his nearness and my skin tingled.

His answer was to draw me close and kiss my forehead, which is something he usually did when he didn't want to answer me, or so I’ve noticed.

I was catching onto his many quirks. I’d also learned that there was no point in pushing him farther, because it never worked. Whatever secrets he kept he held fast to.

I’m sure that should scare the crap out of me, but every time my mind started down that road I’d feel that cool breeze and a light touch against my nape, and the impending fear, would be as if it never was.

"Tomorrow I will take you to school, I've had a look at your vehicle and it's not suitable. Then maybe after classes you might want to meet my family?"

I felt my mouth twitch a little at the fleeting expressions on his face, from total disgust when speaking of my clunker to a touch of uncertainty when asking me to meet his family. I held his arm close to me as I leaned against his shoulder.

"I've already met your sister, I think." I frowned a little at the memory of the strange exchanges I’d had with the pixie.

"Natalia is more pest than sister." He said it with an indulgent smile as he wrapped me in his arms. I've never felt anything like being in his arms. It’s not just an, ‘oh this feels good’ feeling.

It feels like he's shielding me somehow, but I don't know how or from what. It's just a weird feeling I get whenever we're this close. It's as if time stands still and nothing else seems to matter, like whatever is wrong in my world, will eventually sort itself out.

Maybe this is what it feels like to be in love? My heart raced at the thought. I'm not the luckiest girl in the world, what if it doesn't work out, what if he leaves me? He’s so beautiful and I’m just plain old me. What if he abandons me again...where had that thought come from?

I didn't realize I had grabbed ahold of his hand, digging my nails in in my worry, my facial expressions giving away my inner turmoil. At least I think that's what alerted him to my minor inner meltdown.

"Ssh, lyubof, it's alright I won't leave you, you must calm down lest you make yourself ill again." He drew me onto his lap with my head on his chest over his heart.