If You're Lucky (18 page)

Cole calls me “Madam George” now. Last week he taught me how to ride the bus. He sat next to me and held my hand. He drummed the fingers of his free hand on the seat next to him. Cole is a drummer in a band, a Dr. Seuss tribute band called Red Fish, Blue Fish. The truth is I'm half in love with him already.

“Fifty-seven blocks to go,” he said, looking out the bus window.

As we passed through the Western Addition and then the Upper Richmond, I looked out at all the bustling Chinese and Russian restaurants and businesses.

“Thirty-one blocks.” He tapped away.

The bus glided through the Sunset District. People got off, people got on.

Cole wasn't shy about telling me his story; years of therapy does that to people, I think. He told me everything the first time we talked on the phone. He spoke in a clipped staccato.

“My dad died from being kicked in the head. The official cause of death was an epidural hemorrhage. He was schizophrenic like me. I got it from him. He took off and left my mom and me when I was six. He started living under a freeway overpass. He was self-medicating and he was violent. One night he got in a fight with another homeless guy. That was it for him. My mom didn't tell me the real story till I was fifteen. Even after I was diagnosed I didn't believe I had it. I got caught up in tangent universe stuff, time travel, wormholes. I thought that I had telekinetic powers. Then I thought I was being watched by people who knew I was on to something important. Everywhere I went I saw this guy in a suit. I knew that he was following me. I thought he was a secret operative who worked for the government. I started building a surveillance-proof structure in our backyard where I could do my work without the government spying on me. Long story short, after four doctors, my mom found Dr. Lundgren. There was no way in hell she was watching me go the way my dad went. I started feeling better. I shut down my work and I moved a drum kit out to the anti-surveillance shed.”

“What about the guy who was following you?”

“He lives two doors down from us. His name is Norm. He sells insurance and he drives a blue Prius.”

I laughed.

“Now you,” said Cole. “Tell me all your sordid details.”

So I did.

The bus stopped at the Cliff House at the very end of Geary where it meets the Great Highway. Cole took my hand and we got off the bus together.

In False Bay, Fin's story is one of those tales that will be around for a long time to come. In a strange way, it brought our little town closer together. Every one of us was seduced by Fin, every one of us fell a little bit in love with him, and it was hard not to talk about it. People shook their heads and remarked that it was
a helluva
thing.
They wondered aloud at how such a charmer, such a people person, could actually be a psychopath. Well, I may not know the answer to that question but I know a thing or two about going off the deep end. Loss can do some pretty crazy things to people's heads.

My own life will always be a struggle, but it's one I'm better prepared for. Dr. Lundgren says these meds might not always work as well as they're working now. But right now I feel hopeful.

Right now I feel Lucky.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Schizophrenia is a brain disorder that disrupts thinking and causes people to interpret reality abnormally. It affects about 1 percent of Americans. There isn't any single cause; genetics and environmental triggers are both factors. The severity of schizophrenia varies from person to person. Too often, those affected go without treatment. While there isn't a cure, schizophrenia can be managed with proper care from a licensed professional. 

The media tend to link mental illnesses with criminal violence, but most people with schizophrenia are not violent toward others; they are more likely to be withdrawn and to prefer to be left alone. Efforts to destigmatize mental illness have made slow but steady progress. Sharing stories and experiences can help those with schizophrenia seek the care they need. 

For more information about schizophrenia:  

Read:

Me, Myself, and Them: A Firsthand Account of One Young Person's Experience with Schizophrenia,
by Kurt Snyder, with Raquel E. Gur and Linda Wasmer Andrews, published by Oxford University Press in the Adolescent Mental Health Initiative series (2007).

Visit:

National Alliance on Mental Illness. “Schizophrenia.”
www.nami.org/Schizophrenia
.
Band Back Together, a nonprofit support group. “Schizophrenia Resources.”
www.bandbacktogether.com/schizophrenia-resources
.
The Intervoice (International Network for Training, Education, and Research into Hearing Voices).
www.intervoiceonline.org
.

Watch:

TED Talks by
Elyn Saks
, Orrin B.
Evans Professor of Law, Psychology, and Psychiatry and the Behavioral Sciences at the University of Southern California, and psychologist
Eleanor Longden
—both of whom have been diagnosed with schizophrenia.
www.ted.com/talks
.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Sincere thanks to the people who gave so generously of their time, knowledge, patience, encouragement, wisdom, music, and love to help me find my way through the trees to a clearing where I could tell this story. They are: Charlotte Sheedy, Elise Howard, Rachel Abrams, Meredith Kaffel, Mackenzie Brady, Krestyna Lypen, David Lidz, Alex Green, Malc McGookin, Martine McDonagh, Andrew Smith, Dr. Robert Levin, Ally Sheedy, David Prinz, and Django Reinhardt.

IF

YOU'RE

LUCKY

YVONNE PRINZ

Questions for Discussion

QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION

1. The town in the book is called False Bay. How does the name of the town incorporate and reflect the themes of the story?

2. On
page 46
, Georgia thinks that maybe if she leaves town and goes to culinary school, she could start over as someone other than “Lucky's crazy sister.” Given what you know about Georgia after reading the book, will she have a shot at starting over? Besides a change of location, what other changes would help her succeed? And what things might cause her to fail?

3. On
page 58
, Georgia notes that her mom wrote Lucky's height on a wall from when he was two until he was fifteen but only wrote hers from when she was four until she was ten. On
page 61
, she notes that one Christmas, her parents gave Lucky a puppy and she got a bookshelf. How do family exchanges like this affect Georgia? Do you think these are perceived slights or actual signs that her parents favored Lucky over her? Discuss how this contributes to Georgia's view of the world and her place in it—and how her view of the world contributes to what she perceives and describes to the reader.

4. On
pages 88–89
, Georgia looks at a photo of Lucky and his friends after a day of surfing. Lucky is on one side of the group and Fin is on the opposite side. Georgia notices that “everyone was grinning at the camera except Fin. Fin was grinning at Lucky.” If a picture is worth a thousand words, how would you sum up what this picture is saying? Can one picture tell a whole story? Why or why not?

5. When he arrives, Fin captivates many of the residents of False Bay. He endears himself to Georgia and her parents, and to Sonia, Jeff, and Miles. It's true that most of us want to be liked, and we feel special when someone shows us attention. Is everyone who can turn on the charm also a skilled manipulator like Fin? Where is the line between accepting this kind of attention and becoming skeptical about a person's motives? What kinds of behavior might trigger suspicion?

6. When Georgia thinks she is seeing Fin for who he
really
is, she doubts herself because of previous mistakes. On
page 94
, she wonders if she's “being paranoid.” She can't trust her gut instinct. What is gut instinct? Is it an intellectual response or an emotional one or a little bit of both? How are Georgia's instincts about Fin affected by her mental illness and medications?

7. When Georgia stops taking her medications, there is a noticeable change in her behavior. What would you do if you noticed changes in a friend's behavior or mood that were troublesome? What is a friend's responsibility in that kind of situation?

8. As Georgia becomes increasingly convinced that Fin has come to her town to take over her dead brother's life, what evidence does she uncover to prove her theory? Why don't people take her seriously? As you learned about Georgia's mental illness, how did it affect how you thought about her evidence?

9. Fin shows up for Lucky's memorial party wearing Lucky's silver charm, which says “fearlessness” in Sanskrit (
page 24
). When Georgia sees it, she's crushed. Lucky had always promised it to her. Lucky had always been fearless. What are some of the ways that Georgia displays her own fearlessness? What about Sonia, Sharona, Jeff, and Miles—do they demonstrate fearlessness? If so, how?

10. What were some of the twists and turns in the novel that took you by surprise? Discuss some of the visual moments that have stayed with you. Why do you think they are so vivid?

Reader's Guide by Diane Cain

SLOANE MORRISON

YVONNE PRINZ is the award-winning author of
The Vinyl Princess
and
All You Get Is Me.
A Canadian living in the San Francisco Bay Area, she is the cofounder of Amoeba Music, the world's largest independent music store. Visit her online at
www.yvonneprinz.com
.